Chapter 7 #2
And what about her job? If the two of them started some kind of relationship, would her employment status suffer if it didn’t work out?
While she hated to be pessimistic about their chances, she also had to be realistic.
Her husband, the man who’d pledged “‘til death do us part,” had cheated on her with a woman she’d considered her best friend.
Not only that, but things had been rocky between her and Chad for a while before they’d ended. Which was an understatement. No way did she want to go through anything like that ever again.
She decided to be upfront and let Parker know she wasn’t in the market for any kind of relationship. Though she wasn’t fond of the term, if they could make a friends-with-benefits situation work, she’d be open to that. But nothing more.
Decision made, her nerves settled. She dressed, combed through her wet hair and headed to the kitchen to see what he’d rustled up for breakfast.
The moment she entered, he turned and smiled. She felt the power of that smile all the way to the soles of her feet. For a split second, her resolve wavered.
“Good morning,” he said. “Did you sleep well?”
Heaven help her, but she blushed. “I did,” she replied, her voice surprisingly steady. “How about you?”
“Fine.” His intent gaze seemed to peer into her soul. Her stomach turned over and her knees turned to mush.
“I still can’t have a relationship,” she blurted. “I’m just not ready.”
“I understand,” he said. Since she’d expected him to argue, she wasn’t sure how to react.
“My marriage was pretty awful,” she finally admitted, turning her back to him while she grabbed a cup of coffee. Bracing herself for a bunch of questions, she carried her drink to the table and took a seat, all without looking at him.
Finally, when he didn’t probe, she raised her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
She had no idea how to respond, so she didn’t.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, his gaze steady.
To her surprise, she realized she did. “I met Chad in college,” she said, sitting back and taking a sip of her coffee. “At first, he was everything I wanted in a partner. He was attentive, considerate, and he seemed to anticipate my every need.”
She sighed and took another drink. “Later, I learned that’s something narcissists do. It’s called love bombing. I didn’t know that then, though.”
“How long were you married?” he asked, his voice as gentle as his expression.
“Seven years.” She didn’t even have to think about it. “Once I had that ring on my finger, he changed. Or maybe he just allowed his true self to show.”
Thinking of all his rules, his little punishments if she failed to follow them, and his escalating temper, along with all the insults and snide comments designed to put her down, she felt ashamed.
Something of her thoughts must have showed on her face.
“It’s okay.” Reaching out, he covered her hand with his. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Eyeing the quietly handsome man across from her, she realized that she did. “He had anger issues,” she said, waving her hand as if those simple words didn’t convey a wealth of trauma.
Parker’s jaw tightened. “Verbal or physical?”
“Both. I survived. But what matters is that I became a shadow of myself. Where once I’d been happy and outgoing, I withdrew inside.
” Her self-conscious laugh hid so many emotions; none of which she felt ready to reveal.
“You wouldn’t have recognized me. I was a docile, quiet person.
Head down, withering away into a shell without any heart or soul. ”
Hand still on top of hers, he squeezed. “I’m glad you got out.”
Those words had her lifting her chin. “I am, too. I suspect if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here on this earth any longer.”
He swallowed hard. “I’m sorry you went through that.”
“I am, too, but I’m not proud that I stayed so long. Looking back, it’s unbelievable that it took him having an affair with my best friend to make me leave. All the abuse, the way he treated me, and it took his cheating to finally gave me the courage to leave.”
Hearing herself say it out loud, she had to shake her head. “Actually, I didn’t have the energy to leave. I learned in therapy that depression can do that.”
Getting up the courage to meet his gaze, when he only nodded instead of commenting, she felt grateful.
“Anyway, long story short…” She gave a wry smile. “That’s why I’m not in the market for a relationship right now. Maybe not ever. I think I might be too damaged.”
Bracing herself, she waited for Parker to explain that he wasn’t that guy and would never treat her like that. If he did, that’d mean he completely missed the point.
Instead, he simply nodded again. “That’s understandable. Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me.”
Dumbfounded, Genna got up to make another cup of coffee, certain words would fail her.
“Do you still want to drive up to Valdez and check out the animal shelter?” he asked.
She waited until she’d finished fixing her coffee before she turned. “I don’t know. Maybe getting a dog right now isn’t the best idea, since I’m your temporary houseguest.”
“I think you should still consider it,” he said. “But, of course, that’s completely up to you.”
Sipping her second cup of coffee, she thought about it for a moment. “We can go look,” she finally conceded. “But I doubt I’ll bring one home. The timing is wrong.”
Though he shrugged, something in his gaze told her he believed she’d go, take one look at some poor dog in need, and fall instantly in love with it.
The old Genna definitely would have done such a thing.
The woman she used to be, who’d believed in happy endings and rainbows, trusted her heart and acted on impulse, believing everything would work out in the end.
Not anymore. Now she knew better.
“What about you?” she challenged. “You said you’d been wanting to get a dog. Maybe this is your chance.”
He grinned. “Could be, you never know. Let me get these dishes cleaned up and we’ll head out.”
“I’ll get them,” she offered. “You cooked, I can clean.”
Though he appeared uncertain, he finally gave in.
It only took her a few minutes to rinse everything and put the dishes in the dishwasher. When she finished, she dried her hands off on a towel and turned to find him eyeing her. The intensity in his gaze sent a bolt of desire through her.
“Ready to go?” he asked, a slight smile curving his mouth as if he knew her thoughts.
“Sure. I’m driving.” She already had her keys in her hand. “Since I invited you to go with me.”
He nodded. “Sounds good. Lead the way.”
Once they were settled in her car, she glanced at him in the passenger seat, unaccountably nervous.
The drive would be a straightforward one, with a lot of beautiful scenery in between the two towns.
There were two ways to get there. The quickest route was inland, but she preferred the meandering road that went by the water.
She waited until they’d turned off Parker’s street before asking him which route he’d like to take.
“That’s up to you,” he answered immediately. “You’re driving. I’m good with whatever way you choose.”
Since she was in a bit of a hurry, she chose the more direct route.
The City of Valdez Animal Shelter sat on a picturesque road with jagged mountain peaks behind it.
The smallish wooden building had been painted blue, she guessed in an effort to make it look more cheerful.
A white-lettered sign hung over the double glass doors, advertising pet food and supplies.
Only one other car sat in the parking lot.
“Did you check online to see what kind of dogs they have available?” Parker asked once they’d pulled up to the building and parked.
“I meant to, but with everything that happened, I forgot,” she admitted. “Since I’m not ready to adopt today, I guess that doesn’t matter. We’ll just go inside and take a look around.”
“Okay, but before we do, what kind of dog are you looking for?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Something big and intimidating, but secretly gentle and kind. In my situation, I need the kind of dog that would make an intruder think twice before breaking in to my house.”
“That makes sense.” He got out of the car. “Let’s go see what they have.”
The busy shelter worker hurried up front when they entered. “Are you looking for a lost pet?” she asked, tucking a wayward strand of gray hair behind her ear. “If so, I’m going to need you to fill out some paperwork.”
Genna found her voice. “No. Actually, we came to take a look at the dogs available for adoption.”
This made the woman beam. “Perfect. Just go through that door. All the dogs in those kennels are available. Just holler if you need any help.” That said, she hurried off.
“Let’s do this.” Parker held out his hand. Without thinking, Genna took it. Together they went through the door.
They stepped onto a concrete walkway dividing two long rows of metal kennels.
Immediately, all the dogs started barking.
There was a smell that no amount of cleaning could erase, which made Genna sigh.
Most of the cages were occupied, and dogs of all sizes, breeds and colors had rushed to the front, begging for attention.
Still clutching Parker’s hand, she stood frozen, unable to make herself move forward.
“Are you all right?” he asked, looking down at her.
“I think so.” Wide-eyed, she took a deep breath. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“It’s okay to feel bad for the dogs,” he said, his voice gentle. “And just because you don’t plan on adopting one today, doesn’t mean you can’t visit with them while you’re here. I’m sure they enjoy the attention.”
Though she nodded, she still couldn’t make her feet move. Only Parker’s gentle tug on her hand had her taking steps forward.