Chapter 23
Chay hadn’t left Ava’s side since they’d brought her into the hospital. Her parents and brother had been by. As had his grandmother, Jacob and a slew of other people who knew her. Ava was like that. Lots of friends who cared about her.
If he needed another example of how different they were, he’d gotten it, but the truth was he had enjoyed those visits. Had felt like he was part of her inner circle. Even if, for a loner, it had been a bit overwhelming at first.
Ryan had brought her a bag of M&M’s—apparently she’d spoken to him about her long-ago deception. It had made Chay laugh to think of Ava apologizing for a childhood prank.
Gracie was sleeping quietly in his arms. He couldn’t wait to share with Ava that he’d started the paperwork to try to adopt Gracie. Something that he knew would please her. But more importantly, he couldn’t wait to tell her that he loved her. He’d been scared he wouldn’t get the chance to.
When he’d seen Daniel Wayne holding that gun to her head…that was something that Chay wasn’t going to forget for a very long time.
Gracie’s eyes opened up, and she made that little cry she did when she woke up. Chay stood up and sort of jostled the baby on his shoulder, trying that rocking move his grandmother had showed him.
“Shh…yazhi, Mama’s sleeping and we don’t want to wake her up,” Chay said, making a circuit around the room. “She’s had a rough few days.”
“But she’s safe now,” Ava said from the bed.
“Mamam,” Gracie said, turning her body toward Ava’s voice. The baby had wanted to cuddle with Ava, but of course that hadn’t been possible.
“Hey there,” he said as she adjusted the bed and tried to raise it. Holding her arms out for Gracie.
He handed her the baby and then helped get the bed into a sitting position. “How are you feeling? Do you need me to ring the nurse?”
“Groggy, tired, I get why Fern doesn’t like to be drugged. It’s such a weird feeling. I’m thirsty, too,” she said.
He got her some water and handed it to her so she could drink. “I’m sure you have some questions.”
“Lots of them. How did you find me?”
“Lou remembered there were a string of old hunting cabins that ran along the edge of the wilderness. We divided them up. I choose the one farthest from the house, figured he was going to want to get as far away as he could before the storm hit again.”
“I don’t remember much of that. He knocked me out. I was so afraid he was going to get in the house and then kill Gracie and wait to kill you.”
Her hands trembled and there were tears in her eyes. He wanted to hug her, but she had an IV hooked up and he wasn’t sure how to get close without disturbing it. Leaning over, he squeezed her shoulder and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
“He didn’t do that. Thanks to you. How did you do that?”
“I heard a vehicle and thought it was you,” she said. “I recognized the car as one that sideswiped me a few days ago.”
“Something you never mentioned.”
“I figured it was just some driver in a rush. That was the night I had the panic attack…guess it wasn’t my imagination but really Daniel.”
Chay wished she’d mentioned the car incident, but that was all in the past. Nothing he could do about that now. She was safe. Daniel Wayne was going back to prison and would stay there for a good long time.
“You’re safe now,” he said again.
She squeezed his hand, linking their fingers together. Gracie chattered her baby words, and for a few minutes they stayed as they were. A feeling of peace and happiness went through Chay.
“I’m still trying to deal with the fact that Daniel killed Greg. It’s hard to think that he was watching me all that time. I guess he must have been keeping tabs on me. I should have known that. I’m a therapist. Behaviors like that are common,” she said.
He sighed. “That’s not your fault. You were in love and planning a new life. I don’t think it’s expected that you’d be worrying about an ex showing up.”
“No, but I wish…I wish that I’d never gone out with Daniel,” Ava admitted.
“But you did. The past… Not sure if this will help or not, but I realized that all the bad choices, decisions and circumstances that happened to me are out of my control. I spent a lot of time trying to rejig the past and make it so my mom would love me or even care about me. Nothing I could have done would have changed her,” he said.
“It was the same for you. Daniel Wayne might have seen you walking across campus and gotten obsessed with you. Not going on a date wouldn’t have kept him from your life.
Then, who knows, he might have hurt more people than he has.
It seems like if we’d made one different choice life would be better. But it would still be your life.”
Ava’s fingers tightened on his. Tears in her eyes again. “Thanks for saying that. If I was my own patient, I would say something similar. We can’t change what happened…”
“Not today, but we can make a brighter future,” Chay said. He wanted to tell her he loved her. To let her know that he was going to be by her side for their rest of their lives. That Gracie was going to be the start of their family. But he wanted to give her space to heal first.
Ava hadn’t wanted to go back to her house after she left the hospital. Chay’s house felt more like home to her now. But she wasn’t sure she could just drop that on him without talking. After their discussion when she’d woken up in the hospital, she’d felt closer to him than ever.
Chay was clean shaven as always, wearing a pair of jeans that fit him just right and his sunglasses against the glare of the winter sun. The snowstorms had passed, and it now it looked so bright and beautiful out that it was hard to remember all the snow and trouble the storm had brought.
But there was a lot going on. Chay and Aponi had been keeping Gracie, which Marg at child services had no issues with. Everyone was going out of their way to make sure Ava was okay, which was nice, but it was too much attention. Not the kind she liked.
Chay told her that some people were waiting at her house, and she groaned.
As much as she loved her family, she wanted to be alone with Chay.
There were things she wanted to talk to him about.
She needed to tell him she loved him and find out if he felt the same.
She’d hoped now that she was out of the hospital and away from nurses and doctors who kept coming into her room she could make that happen.
“What?” he asked as he turned toward her subdivision.
“Who is there?” she asked. She wasn’t ready to see all her Colton cousins and aunts and uncles. They’d all been to see her in the hospital, which she appreciated, but today she wanted something quieter.
“Your parents, who I couldn’t tell not to come. Ryan’s working, but he will stop by later. Aponi and Gracie.”
She was looking forward to seeing everyone.
Her mom and Aponi got along really well.
Of course, her mother was sure she was going to get Aponi to donate more than one blanket to the silent auction.
Her mom was persuasive, but Aponi was pretty stubborn when she wanted to be.
She’d have to really believe in the Colton Foundation to change her donation.
“That’s not bad. I’m just. I feel gross and I don’t…
I don’t want everyone looking at me like they pity me,” she admitted.
Also she still had some guilt for bringing a man like Daniel Wayne into her life.
But Chay’s words rang in her mind, reminding her that she had no control over how Daniel felt or behaved.
“No one pities you,” Chay said, sounding so reasonable that it made her a little bit crankier.
Her heart filled with love for him. This man made her feel like she was special.
Not just Ava Colton, therapist, foster mom and sister.
Like who she was at her core was important.
It meant more than she could put into words.
He’d been great the last few days. Everything she asked for, he’d given her.
He was taking care of Gracie like she was his biological child.
Honestly, it felt like she was getting a glimpse through a mirror at her life, but she was active in it.
They were getting closer to her house, and she realized that the last thing she wanted to do was be surrounded by their families until she knew where they stood. “Can you pull over for a minute?”
“Sure,” he said, signaling and then finding a safe place to pull over. “What’s up?”
“What’s up? Wow, so much. I’m not sure where to start, but I’ve had a lot of time to think while I was in the hospital and…Chay, how do you feel about me?”
He quirked his head to the side and raised both eyebrows at her. “I love you.”
The breath went out of her and she blinked a bunch of times. Had he just said?
“You love me.”
“Yup. Was going to tell you sooner but figured you needed time to get over your guilt—”
She undid her seat belt as he was talking and threw herself into his arms, hugging him so tightly. Tears fell freely down her face. “I love you, too.”
“I was hoping you would say so, but you know it wouldn’t change how I feel about you.”
Of course it didn’t. Chay was solid—always. He’d learned so many lessons from that six-year-old who’d been left behind by his mom. God, she loved this man so much.
Kissing him again, she put her hands on either side of his face, pulling back. “I. Love. You.”
She dropped kisses on his face with each word.
“Me, too. I want you to marry me,” he said.
“Shouldn’t you ask?”
“I could, but we both know you’re going to say yes.”
“I am. And what about—”
“Gracie? I think we should apply to adopt her. We’re the only family she’s known, and we will get justice for Annie Ross and keep her mom alive for her,” Chay said. “She’s going to have questions, and I want to make sure she gets her answers when she’s older.”
“We definitely will,” she said.
A few minutes later they were at her house, Chay’s hand in hers as she walked to the front door. Remembering how irritating he’d been the first day he’d come to see her. “You were such a pain about Fern.”
“Good thing I was or we wouldn’t be together now,” he said.
Laughing together, they went to spend the afternoon with their families.
Ava felt a kind of peace she’d never experienced before.
She tired easily, but she didn’t want the afternoon to end.
It was the first time she realized that she was fully present in the moment.
The fear that Daniel had planted in her and losing Greg had been a shadow over her everyday life.
Knowing that Daniel was back in jail and slowly coming to terms with Greg’s death was helping her. But she knew the real reason for her happiness was right in her arms. Chay held her and she held Gracie. There was nothing more she needed than this.