35. Taylor
Thirty-Five
Taylor
After I hung up with Maggie last night, I felt a huge sense of relief, but I was also overcome with confusion. My heart was telling me to forgive him, but my head was telling me I’d been here before, and it never ends well. Despite being drunk and totally lacking any self-control, the whole phone conversation did validate everything Jake told me and gave me peace of mind that he definitely wasn’t still married.
But amongst all of this, I’m still dealing with this whole wage gap thing, and that needs to take priority over my relationship drama. With my focus on that, I can’t possibly focus on what I plan to do about Jake.
Because when I wake up this morning, I have several emails from female pilots from all different airlines and additional emails from Dean and some of the other pilots at Crescent Airways. They all basically say the same thing, but as I read each one, I feel more and more encouraged, like I can’t turn back now and what I’m doing will make a difference.
That, or I’ll lose my job.
But there’s one email that stands out among the others. It’s from a group of flight attendants who work for Crescent Airways. And while I’ve worked with some of them, the majority I haven’t. The email is signed from over thirty of them and they’ve gone above and beyond with each one of them anonymously calling in complaints to a U.S. Department of Justice pay discrimination hotline. In addition to all of this, they’ve also sent letters to their supervisors.
I know I need to set something up with my supervisor because things are getting big and my threat has become so much more. It’s not just me now; I have the backing of more people than I ever thought possible.
I take a deep breath and hit the call button on my phone, and even though I’m feeling inspired and confident in what I know needs to be done, there’s still an element of nervousness that comes with it.
“This is Jeff,” his gravelly voice says, and I can hear a slight annoyance in his tone already. I can’t help but wonder if he’s been inundated with emails, calls and letters.
“Hi Jeff. It’s Taylor,” I start, feeling him out to see if just my name elicits a response.
“Taylor,” he replies, my name getting stuck on his tongue as he clears his throat.
I don’t wait for him to say any more, not wanting to give him the upper hand. “I was hoping I’d be able to meet with you today. Are you available?”
“Yes, I think a meeting is in order,” he states, his tone formal and somewhat cold. I hate that my mind immediately goes to a negative place, a place where I’m continually screwed over by men. I can’t change that I’m a passionate person, that I have trust issues with men, but I can change the way I use those behaviors. Instead of being destructive, I need to be constructive and putting my trust in Dean and him coming through for me shows that I can selectively trust men. That I won’t always be so closed off and defensive.
“I’m available in an hour, and I’ll meet you at your office,” I tell him, and he agrees.
And now I have to come in big.
I step into Jeff’s office an hour later, and he’s behind his desk, rising as I walk in the door. I have a file of companies that moved toward pay parity, copies of the emails I was sent, and letters that show that paying employees based on experience is a benefit to everyone in the company. With all of this, a positive for women and minorities.
“You’ve created quite a ruckus,” he says, not really greeting me as he returns to sitting behind his desk.
“Well, you didn’t give me a lot of choice.”
He leans back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he exhales hard.
“We’ve always used the profit-sharing as we’ve seen fit,” he states, and already I can feel myself growing angry, but knowing it will get me nowhere, I remind myself to be constructive. Harnessing my intensity and using it for good will get me through this.
“And you saw fit to leave me out of it?” I ask. “Why is that?”
“I don’t know, Taylor. Women make up less of the workforce and you’re our only female pilot. We weren’t certain where to start your salary or how to determine…”
“Whoa, take it back just a second. Women absolutely do not make up less of the workforce. Forty-seven percent of the workforce is women, and while that’s not representative of Crescent Airways, that’s why we’re here.”
He sits silent, his eyes looking anywhere but at me and it’s hard for me to control myself, so instead of waiting for him to speak, I start up again.
“You know that we have a law that prohibits things like this. It’s called the Equal Pay Act, and it’s supposed to prohibit companies from using sex-based wage discrimination.” I’m now standing, pacing the room a little, trying to keep myself from blowing up at his nonchalance.
“I know what you’ll say, that these other pilots work more hours than me or that they fly larger planes or take longer flights, that they’re more up to date on changes in mechanics or the electronics of planes. But none of this is true, and in the end, the only person winning here is Crescent Airways. Not you or the men you’re paying more than me.”
“How do you figure?” he asks, and it’s clear he hasn’t done his research the way I have. He’s just here to defend his actions and I can only hope that my words hold weight, that they put thoughts in his head to make changes.
“It’s not just Crescent Airways,” I respond, trying to guide him in the direction that this is a bigger issue. “Corporate America wins because by paying women less, they pay less taxes, less in benefits, and less contributions to pension plans. That money isn’t going into your pocket or mine.”
I drop my file of letters and emails on his desk, knowing the last place I want this to lead is to me quitting, but I guess if that’s where it leads, then so be it.
“These are letters and emails of support from my coworkers and other female pilots. Please take a moment to look at them, and as you do, think about how you would feel if you were paid thirty percent less than your coworkers.”
“You’re going to piss off your coworkers,” he announces as I turn my back and walk toward the door.
The laugh that falls from my mouth is far from comical and I have to bite my tongue for a split second. “You don’t know me at all,” I shoot back. “And I’m pretty confident that more of my coworkers support me than don’t.”
“Your boyfriend’s made his rounds too,” he says, an annoyance in his voice as if he’s been inconvenienced enough for one day.
“My boyfriend?” I ask, trying to play it like my heart isn’t hammering in my chest as I wonder exactly what he’s getting at. I’m sure he’s talking about Jake, but given our relationship status is currently non-existent, I have no idea why he would be involved in any of this. I can’t let Jeff know that I’m shaken, leaving my question to linger in the room rather than give myself away.
“Yeah, Jake Campbell. Obviously, you got him to fight for you, too.” I watch as he flips open the file I tossed on his desk. “And Dean Clynes too, huh?”
“Whatever gets your attention.”
“I think it’s more like whatever gets your attention,” he says, knowing I’m questioning what Jake actually did.
He holds up a file folder with at least fifty sheets of paper slipped inside, thick and attention-grabbing.
“He’s done his legwork, and it looks like you’ve got more people on your side than anything,” Jeff says, and now it’s him who seems to be struggling. “But don’t let that convince you that it’ll get any further than my desk.”
His last comment is a jab, and he knows it. It’s his attempt to shut me up, to make me believe that my voice doesn’t matter. But at this point, it’s not just my voice, it’s everyone who Jake has found, everyone Dean has added, and it’s no longer just a single woman complaining.
And as I walk out of Jeff’s office, looking back one last time, I see the cracks in his fa?ade. I can see the worry in his eyes, the concern that what has been started here will make changes that he’s not ready for. It’s obviously bigger than I even thought because somehow Jake is involved now.
Just hearing his name makes my heart ache. It makes me want to call him and tell him what I just did. It also makes me want to thank him because he’s obviously done something pretty big too.
I’m in my car, heading back to my house, my thoughts bouncing all over the place as my phone rings.
“Hello.”
“Is this Taylor Patterson?”
“It is.”
“Hi, my name is Nicholas Sutter, and I’m the vice president of Crescent Airways.”
Holy shit.
“Yes, hi,” I respond, totally caught off guard that it’s gone this far this quickly. “Can I help you with something?”
“I wanted to share with you that we are now investigating the distribution of profit-sharing among our pilot supervisors.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” I sound reserved, but inside, I’m screaming.
“At Crescent Airways, we want to be known for supporting our pilots and we’re currently working toward pay parity. The only way to make changes is to hear from our employees, so I’m also reaching out to tell you that we’re taking everyone’s opinions into consideration, but know that based on what we’ve seen, changes will be made. Changes that will have a positive effect on all employees.”
“Thank you. I appreciate you contacting me, and I look forward to seeing the company move in the right direction.”
“Thank you for your voice and for not being afraid to shake things up,” he says in closing, hanging up before I can answer. There’s a smile on my face so wide that my cheeks begin to hurt and I can’t wait to let Dean know that his help was invaluable.
But there’s another person I know I need to thank and that’s Jake.
I’m a humble enough person to know that I need to reach out to Jake, but a part of me is scared to see him, scared of how my body will react. I’ve missed him and as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been lonely. I’ve never been that girl, and maybe that says something about him. Maybe it says that he’s the person I’m supposed to be with, that he makes me a better person.
Dean’s words return to me about me being dangerous because I don’t need anyone, but in this case, needing Jake isn’t a weakness.
We’re stronger together.
So instead of going home, I head to Jake’s house with hopes that he’s home and that he’ll see me. I’ve been cold to him, even after finding out the truth, but just like everything, I have to learn to forgive, learn to forget, but not ever forget that my feelings are valid and who I am as a person doesn’t have to change. But I can use all my pain, all the things that have happened in the past, to become stronger. I can work toward harnessing the things I’m passionate about and using them for good.
When I reach Jake’s house, I park my car on the street and walk up to his front door, but as I stand there, I’m hit with all the memories of the first time I was here. Seeing Maggie sitting in his kitchen. Hearing her call herself his wife. The look on Jake’s face when he realized he was caught in a lie.
All of these things push me away, take me out of my comfort zone, and are a reminder of why I was done with men. But what I’m also reminded of is that I will never be comfortable with being cheated on. No one would be. But somehow, Jake broke through my emotionally unavailable ass, and I found myself again.
I raise my hand to knock on his door when it suddenly swings open, Jake and I standing face to face, stunned into silence for a good solid minute.
“Taylor!” he exclaims, far more excited to see me than I would’ve thought. Obviously, I’m not the only one who missed someone.
“Hi, Jake.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?” I ask, shifting on my heels and giving him a small smile.
“Of course,” he replies, stepping aside, but as soon as the door closes, he can’t stay quiet. “I’m so sorry, Taylor. I know you talked to Maggie and hopefully she was able to convince you that I definitely did not cheat on you or her for that matter. And I know I lied to you…”
I cut him short, still smiling at his need to explain himself.
“I understand why you did it. I wouldn’t have given you a chance if I knew you had your own baggage.” Jake nods, his eyes watching me intently. “But that doesn’t excuse it, so don’t ever let it happen again.”
I step toward him, my fingers brushing along his chest.
“Don’t ever let it happen again? Does that mean…”
And this time it’s me nodding my head.