Chapter 6
Noah lifted Eva out of her car seat in the supermarket car park and promptly put her back again. He needed the buggy first – he forgot every time – and assembling the thing one-handed was way too difficult.
He closed the back door and went to the boot but stopped and quickly backtracked – he hadn’t fastened Eva into the seat given he’d only be a minute and it had taken a second to realise that now she could sit up on her own and bum shuffle around the floor at eleven months, she could very well propel herself out of the rear-facing car seat and hurt herself.
Were all new fathers like this? Did they learn as they went along, making mistakes and rectifying them just in time? Or did they have enough warning that a baby was coming that they could read up on parenthood and at least not be a total dipshit at the job like he was?
With Eva safely secure, he took the buggy from the boot and opened it up, almost trapping his hand the same way he’d done yesterday and the day before that. Sooner or later, he’d get the hang of it, surely, and when he did, it would feel like a slice of victory. He clipped the relevant pieces into place so that it wouldn’t concertina when Eva was in it – that had happened to him before as well, earning him a glare from a passer-by as though he’d done it on purpose – and with the harness ensuring she was safe once again, he felt as though he’d climbed a mountain, passed a test on The Krypton Factor, all of the above.
‘Come on, you, let’s get me some dinner. You’re on mush again tonight, Eva, but I need something a bit more substantial than what Geraldine has dreamed up for you.’
Geraldine was Noah’s, or rather Eva’s, nanny and a woman he’d interviewed and locked in before he even arrived in Whistlestop River. And so far she’d been an absolute godsend. She’d come to get to know Eva before he was given a regular shift pattern which had reassured him and given him the confidence he’d made the right choice in hiring her. And that meant when he was rostered in last minute to join the blue team last night, she was at his house fifteen minutes before she needed to be and he left calm and sure that Eva was in capable hands.
Geraldine was flexible with the hours she could work too which meant she’d be able to accommodate his shift work with the air ambulance and, although not yet a grandmother, a fact she’d told Noah about ten minutes into the online interview, she’d rattled off qualifications and experience including a degree in early childhood studies. She’d told him that looking after Eva, especially overnight when required, would be ‘good practice for when I have my own grandchildren’. She’d then leapt in to say that she’d already brought up four children who were alive and thriving in case the word ‘practice’ had sent Noah into a tailspin thinking she wouldn’t be up to the task. He’d loved her friendly demeanour, her down-to-earth attitude, and he’d offered her the job over Zoom that evening subject to references and official checks needed for this line of work.
Beneath grey skies, the buggy rattled over the tarmac of the car park and the automatic door of the supermarket opened for him. At least it wasn’t like the revolving door at the supermarket near his old apartment. He’d tried to go into that with the buggy and made the whole thing come to a standstill, the doors jerking forward only when he finally positioned himself and the buggy correctly, which was a feat of engineering. It had taken forever to get inside the building, he’d heard a good tut from the person in the section behind and he’d vowed never to tackle a revolving door again. It never ceased to amaze him how you used such things and went about your business without thinking about the difficulties for those in a different situation to yourself.
He positioned a basket on top of the hood of the stroller. It wasn’t the most secure, but it would do for this supermarket dash. He’d slowly learned that despite a stroller making things difficult in some ways, they were good in others, with a nice little basket beneath to stash things once he’d paid for them, a resting place on top for a basket in the way he’d done now. It wasn’t what they were designed for and if there were baby health and safety police anywhere around, he might well be reprimanded for the said basket now, but it worked.
The supermarket here in Whistlestop River wasn’t huge. The size and relatively small selection of goods had him wondering whether this town was ever going to move with the times and introduce something more substantial because there were enough houses here that he wouldn’t be the only one having to trek another five miles to reach the larger supermarket with more choice.
He picked up milk, yogurt, some chicken fillets and a marinade and as long as he kept the stroller moving along, Eva gurgled with contentment.
He stopped in the vegetable aisle, debated what to go for and ended up at the end of the cabinets, where he found a range of pre-packaged stir fry components – noodles or rice, various vegetables, a selection of sauces. He only had to cook for himself because Geraldine had insisted she cook for Eva, even though it wasn’t in the job description. She’d told Noah that Eva would be sleeping a lot when she was at his place and so she preferred to feel useful rather than sit around. She’d also deemed the pre-made jars of baby food rubbish – she’d spotted the few he had in the cupboard as backup even though Eva was moving on from that stage. And now he had to admit that whatever Geraldine had made, the day she first came to the house and used the limited fresh ingredients he had in the cupboard and fridge, smelt a damn sight better than anything that came out of one of those glass jars.
When Eva landed so suddenly in his life, Noah had figured she was a baby, she ate, made a mess, pooped and that was it, on repeat cycle, with a few tears in between. He hadn’t been at all prepared for how stressful the eating stage could be. In the last couple of months, Eva had either kept her lips pursed tightly shut whenever the spoon came near or she’d worked herself into such a frenzy that he’d had to give up and give her a cracker to wave around and suck on. That was what he’d ended up doing the day they got to Whistlestop River when Eva refused pretty much everything, so much so that he thought he was going to have to take her to the doctor because something was clearly wrong. His last resort had been a hastily made piece of toast with jam – he wasn’t even sure whether that was allowed for an eleven-month-old – which she’d wolfed down in seconds and tears had become smiles and giggles, and his stress had become a feeling of relief and joy.
‘What do you think to a few beers for the fridge, Eva?’ He took the basket from the top of the stroller as it got heavier, deeming it unsafe to hover above a baby’s head and with one hand steered her chariot.
He wasn’t very good at steering and almost collided with a woman pushing another stroller, then an elderly gentleman who wasn’t looking where he was going.
But it was the next aisle where he stopped short of ramming into the back of a woman’s ankles and when he apologised for being a useless driver, he realised who it was as she turned round to face him.
‘It’s Maya, isn’t it?’ He went for polite seeing as he’d offended her the last time they met. ‘I’m Noah. I was with the blue team attending the emergency for your sister last night.’
She looked different to the last time he’d seen her in a sexy, silky dress that clung to her every curve. Now she was in jeans and a sweatshirt with a little stain on its hem. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, not straight but with big beach waves. He didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone look so beautiful.
‘I recognise you.’ Her mouth flatlined. She was cradling a loaf of bread in the crook of her arm, holding a jar of jam in her opposite hand.
‘How’s Julie?’ he prompted as Maya registered Eva in the stroller. He thought it best to try to get on this woman’s good side and show a bit of concern rather than address the comments he’d made last night.
She gave him a small smile, suggesting perhaps all was not lost thanks to his big mouth. ‘She’s fine, off on her honeymoon and posting photos with her good side until the bruise goes down.’
‘Glad to hear it. Not about the bruise, the honeymoon.’ He fluffed his words, unsure of the reaction he’d get given their last encounter. She looked tired and vulnerable, neither of which were words he would’ve associated her with when he saw her at the wedding. Last night, if someone had asked him to describe Maya, he would’ve said she was feisty, energetic, in charge.
‘I’d better get going,’ she said.
His voice stopped her. ‘How about Conrad?’
Her brow furrowed with confusion and it took her a moment to grasp why he would be asking the question. ‘I apologise, I’m not quite with it today. You would’ve been there at the scene with Kate.’ She was all formalities, not much friendliness but that was his own stupid fault. He hoped this wouldn’t cause issues at work. ‘He’s going to be okay.’
‘That’s a relief.’ He wanted to probe for more details, ask whether there were any further injuries other than what they’d found on scene, but she didn’t seem in the right frame of mind for any of that. Or maybe she was, just not with him.
Eva let out a howl that made them both jump, but it made Maya smile a little bit. It seemed she could be frosty with him but not an innocent little girl, and he kind of liked that about her already.
‘I forgot to move,’ he explained. ‘She gets a bit antsy if we’re still for too long.’
‘She’s cute,’ said Maya.
‘She can be. Listen, I’d?—’
But she cut in. ‘I need to get on, I’ve still got to hunt down peaches and cat food.’
‘I think you’re going to need a basket.’
She looked at what she was carrying. ‘I always do this: come in here thinking I don’t need one and end up with armfuls of groceries.’ But the slight thawing didn’t last long. ‘Bye then.’
‘I’ll see you when you’re back at work,’ he said before she could walk away.
She stopped, seeming confused. ‘Work? You weren’t temporary for the shift?’
‘I jumped in at the last minute with the blue team but I’m also here in town to start my new role as the critical care paramedic on the red team. To replace Carl.’
She frowned. ‘Someone probably told me. I’d forgotten.’
Eva began shuffling about more in her buggy, a sure sign he’d stayed still far too long. ‘No worries at all. I’d better get going with this one. I’ll see you at the airbase when you’re back.’
She said nothing, just went on her way.
‘Women,’ he muttered beneath his breath. Although perhaps she was thinking ‘men’ after his unwelcome comments at the wedding reception. He couldn’t blame her, really.
‘Do you think I’ve totally messed up my working life, Eva?’ he asked, to no response.
He headed for the beer section. He wasn’t a heavy drinker but when he got off shift and the house was quiet, Eva’s bedtime routine depending, there was nothing nicer than a cold beer. Previously, he would’ve drunk it on the sofa with a view of the lights of London’s surrounds but nowadays, he’d take it and sit on the back porch at the old signal box cottage looking out at Whistlestop River. Quiet, unassuming towns weren’t his bag, but the ritual would be a respite and a way of keeping himself together when everything he knew so well had been blown apart.
Once he’d been through the checkout, he stashed all the shopping in the basket beneath the pram save the box of beers, which he cradled under one arm. But steering was nigh on impossible as he left the supermarket and he was halfway along the row of cars heading for his own when it began to slip.
‘Here, let me help,’ said the man coming towards him. He wasted no time taking the box so Noah could put both hands back on Eva’s stroller.
Noah smiled. ‘Frank. Good to see you again.’ Frank was the engineer at the airbase and according to Nadia, he went above and beyond the call of duty and was at the airbase more hours than he really had to be, ensuring the helicopter was fit for purpose. ‘And thank you.’
‘No problem.’ He crouched down and Eva warmed to him instantly, reaching out for his moustache, which sat like a big, fluffy caterpillar across his top lip.
‘Careful or she’ll pull it really hard,’ Noah advised as Eva tried to get a grip.
‘Oh, she’s fine, aren’t you, little one?’
Noah chuckled. ‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’
And because Frank was one of those guys you felt comfortable blabbing to and who seemed to have all the time in the world for people he liked, when he asked about Eva as they walked back to the car, with Frank still holding the box of beers, Noah found himself summarising his life story right there and then outside the town’s supermarket.