Chapter 39
When Maya opened the kitchen door and came face to face with her dad sitting on the chair against the wall in the corridor on the other side, they looked at each other, and neither of them moved. It was Nadia coming back along the corridor taking charge who shunted them into the kitchen, told Maya that Vik could handle the helicopter questions, that they should take some time. Frank must have filled her in on the open-window situation.
Maya went back into the kitchen first, heard her dad come in afterwards, turned at the sound of him pulling the internal window closed. He pulled out a chair from beneath the table and sat down.
Maya went over and sat next to him.
‘That was the night, wasn’t it?’ he said with no preamble.
‘The night I walked out, yes.’
‘The worst night of my life except for the night your mum died.’ He looked directly at her.
Maya wished she’d waited to tell Frank and Nadia, maybe told her dad first. But whatever way she’d done it, it would’ve been painful.
‘I’m making tea.’ She didn’t ask whether he wanted any. She had to do something. She couldn’t sit here waiting for the reckoning that had to be coming, the judgement at the things she’d done wrong and wished she could erase.
She set the mugs down in front of them both at the table. Her dad didn’t reach for the sugar to add to his drink. When had that changed? There was so much she didn’t know about him. And perhaps she never would if he walked away again now after the things she’d admitted.
But she still had to tell him the rest.
‘There’s more to that night, other than what I shared with Nadia and Frank,’ she said, checking the internal window was closed, even though she’d seen him do it.
It took her a good minute to form her first words, her explanation. ‘The man who’d chased after us when the window was smashed, the boat torched?—’
‘Was Conrad,’ he finished for her. ‘It doesn’t surprise me. And I suppose he was the one who found you here too?’
She nodded.
‘Was he here officially?’
She shook her head. ‘He said he’d seen me with another girl near the pub, that he’d given chase but we got away. He spotted me again the night I left home, saw me at the edge of the airfield.’ She explained the whole night to him, every detail, leaving nothing out.
‘I was in a state, Dad. When he said he’d help me get away, I believed him and so I ran with him. I tried to close the hangar doors but when we saw headlights from another car, he told me to just run. And so I did. We picked up my things and I didn’t look back.’
And having someone on her side that night, someone who seemed to want to help her and appeared to see her as the Maya she really was, had meant everything.
‘Conrad listened to me that night. We talked for hours. And then he got me a place to stay, I was safe. He didn’t hassle me. I was warm, I was looked after, I wasn’t hungry. And that’s all I could deal with at first. He slowly helped me get on my feet. I got a temporary job at a supermarket so I could pay back the money Conrad had lent me to get me started and so I could fund my board at a bed and breakfast he’d found for me, which was at a reduced rate thanks to him.
‘Shortly afterwards, I started dating Conrad. We went for dinner, then it was a movie, then it was happening more and more and gradually we got closer and closer. We got engaged. I thought I’d found my happy. We got married, I moved in with him.’
‘He swept you off your feet,’ said Nigel. ‘He was like a knight in shining armour.’
‘He was.’ Except instead of a knight come to save her, he’d turned into a man who wanted to keep her no matter what, who wanted her to be so afraid of him ruining her life as she knew it that she stayed with him.
‘We’d not been married long when I began to see another side to him. He kept mentioning the night with Liz, and the night he found me here. He told me what was in the newspapers about the pub incident, that local gossip was that the same vandals had broken into the airbase and damaged the helicopter, taken money, left the hangar doors open so that there was storm and water damage to the inside. Word was that they’d done it for kicks, Conrad told me that. It was horrible listening to it recounted so many times, but I honestly believed he was protecting me, that he still wanted to keep me safe.
‘Over time, especially after he’d had a couple of drinks, I started to realise he might be taunting me with it, but I wasn’t sure. He’d talk about both incidents, especially the one at the airbase, he’d monetise the damage, talk about how locals had held fundraisers to get the Whistlestop River Air Ambulance back to being fully operational with a helicopter as well as cars.’
‘He was blackmailing you.’ Nigel’s grip tightened on the mug of tea he hadn’t even touched.
Maya nodded. ‘He was subtle with it, really subtle. At first, he’d only say that had it not been for him then I would be in serious trouble. He’d leave it at that, it wasn’t a threat, but the more he reminded me of it, the more I realised that was exactly what it was. He had some knowledge, a power, he had a hold over me.’
‘Not really the recipe for a happy marriage.’ Her dad’s words were laced with sympathy and something else… fury. ‘How did I not see it for myself?’
‘I didn’t see it, so I never would’ve expected anyone else to.’
‘That man…’
‘I know. But I’ll never regret Isaac. Naively, I thought perhaps having a child together might make our marriage stronger, drive Conrad to be a better man. But it didn’t. Conrad found fault with everything; he used any opportunity he could find to moan at me. And it went on and on. Isaac was learning piano and we got him a keyboard for his birthday but all Conrad would do was complain that it was too loud. Isaac loved school and Conrad couldn’t relate to it. He might have liked some of his teachers when he was at school but as for the establishment, he was done with that as soon as he was old enough to get out. He joined the police, said education after school was a waste of time, so you can imagine what it’s been like with Isaac going on to further study and now university.
‘When Isaac was almost ten, Conrad began to bring up both incidents more often. I was progressing with my training, on my way to a career, a part of life that wouldn’t include him. And I think he was insecure. He knew I wasn’t happy in the marriage and I think he realised that I’d see my unhappiness even more when I carved out time for myself away from our relationship and out in the real world. He wanted to make me uneasy, fearful. He didn’t want to lose me. The irony was that he forgot marriage meant he was supposed to stop sleeping around.’
‘He cheated on you?’
‘Multiple times. And I always knew. He’s a good police officer – you’d think he’d know more about covering his tracks, but he never did. I used to think he wanted out of the marriage as well, but during a blazing row one night when the word divorce was mentioned, he said that if I ever left him then the whole town would know the details of what I’d done at the pub, at the airbase. He told me people were more likely to believe him than me. And even though that wouldn’t necessarily be the case, I couldn’t take the risk because he said that if I was prosecuted for what I’d done, I’d lose Isaac. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing my son. And so I stayed.’
‘But you pursued your career.’
‘I did. But he didn’t support it. He saw, and referred to it, as Maya’s little hobby when I first started studying. He never saw it as real, not until I got my first job flying helicopters for tourists once I’d completed all my training, the theory and the practice, and Isaac started high school. Even then, he thought I’d lose interest and go back to being a stay-at-home wife soon enough. But I didn’t. The more I flew, the more I wanted to keep doing it and I was determined to go all the way, become a HEMS pilot. He hated it when I joined The Skylarks. I expected him to threaten to tell them what I did if I joined the crew, but he didn’t. Perhaps he realised it was local for him, he’d be able to keep a partial eye on me if I was there.’
Nigel took such a deep breath his shoulders rose. He did it when he was thinking deeply. And now the way he was looking at her reminded her so much of the times as a little girl when he’d run to her side and protected her.
‘That man, what he did to you.’ His own eyes filled with tears. ‘You were trapped in a marriage and couldn’t get out.’
Maya thought about the time another kid had pushed her off the seesaw in the playground and she’d fallen to the ground. Her dad had come running and given the young boy a piece of his mind. Conrad would want to watch his back in the street from now on if he was to bump into Nigel because the look on Nigel’s face was similar to that day. And it made Maya feel safe. She’d forgotten her dad ever had the ability to make her feel that way.
‘My biggest worry with the secret became Isaac finding out what his mother had done. I never wanted that. But it also became about my reputation in Whistlestop River as I settled into the town more and more. I didn’t want to be judged and lose the respect of people I’d come to know, to admire. I was scared I’d lose my job.’
Her dad pushed away his cup of tea. ‘I wish I’d been there for you more.’
‘You were there, Dad. But you and I didn’t understand each other.’
‘We didn’t. And that’s my fault.’
‘No, Dad. It’s both of our faults. It’s circumstance, it’s life, and events all rolled into one.’
‘I’m glad I know everything now.’
‘Me too.’
A knock at the window from the outside made them both jump.
Maya had been in their little bubble in here, the open day carrying on around them.
She went over to the window and waved down at the little boy who must have jumped up to make the knock. He pointed at the helicopter and Maya gave him a thumbs up.
‘I’d better get outside, Dad.’
He stood, brought both mugs over to the sink and looked at the crowds beyond the windows, the crew buzzing about. ‘I came here today to see the work you do. I wanted to understand you more.’ He turned to face her. ‘I couldn’t be more proud. Of the woman you are, your honesty, the mother you’ve become, the sister, the daughter you have always been. And for all of this here, doing so much good in a town that should feel lucky to have you.’
‘You’re proud of me?’ She said it as though trying it on for size.
‘Very much so.’
And for the first time in forever, he opened up his arms. And Maya didn’t need telling twice. She stepped into a hug from her dad after all these years.