Chapter Twenty-One Fallout #2
During the day at work, I started aching for him, like physical pain.
It got so bad I almost jacked at work. I wanted to text him, begging him to come over if he got any time off during the day.
But that was selfish. I knew he used his downtime to catch up on sleep, taking naps in his trailer, and that was the only way he was able to function, because he didn’t get enough sleep at home.
I didn’t want to take that from him. But I kept thinking about him all day.
Then at two p.m., he texted me, Jack’s being an asshole.
I texted back, Want you right here, right now, honey kid.
He texted me a heart and, want to see you. send me a selfie.
I was alone in my office, so I rolled my chair over to the window and snapped a picture. I noticed my hair was getting long. I hadn’t had time to get it cut. I looked like a sheepdog, but I sent him the photo anyway. I texted him, Now you.
Then I waited. I was shaking, which was stupid. I’d seen him before. Why was I getting so wound up over a photo?
Then it arrived. He was lying on his back in his trailer, one eyebrow cocked at his phone, with his seductive smile and his body out of shot. He sent a text, guess what I’m doing right now thinking about you
When I saw that, I had to get up and pace around the office and bang my head against the wall.
I remembered I’d turned down a blow job from him.
I couldn’t believe I’d done that. All I could think about was him doing that for me now, and I could not cool myself down.
I had to put on a lab coat, or it would have been obvious to everybody.
I realized I hadn’t replied, so I texted, What you do to me.
Which was as articulate as I was capable of being.
He texted me back, can’t wait till we can fuck each other stupid
I texted him a broken heart. I’d never needed anyone so much right then.
I had to get out of the office and start moving, so I went to the kennels and took out our smallest dog, a Jack Russell named Perry Mason. He was too small to take off and drag me anywhere. But all the time I was walking Perry, I kept taking out my phone to look at that photo.
We didn’t see each other that night. I had another gig and came home late, and he came home later.
He woke me up when he came to bed, but I was out of it, so all I could do was hold him, and then I was out like a light again.
I’d asked him to wake me in the morning when he got up, but he was gone when I woke up.
He left a note telling me I needed my sleep.
I texted him from work that day to say, I need you more than sleep.
The next morning, he woke me up. I was too out of it to cook breakfast, so I sat beside him on the couch while he ate some cereal.
Then I put my head on his shoulder and leaned on him and woke up two hours later, lying on the couch with a blanket over me and a note on the coffee table that read “I told you.”
The only time we could talk was during the day.
Well, we texted, because I didn’t want anyone at work to overhear.
I wasn’t at my most focused at work during that time.
I never initiated texting because I didn’t know when he was on the set and couldn’t be interrupted, whereas I could usually stop whatever I was doing to answer his texts.
He’d usually text in the afternoon. Some days, we’d have a conversation about things that were easier to text than talk about.
One day, I texted him, What’s your kink?
I stared at my phone and unbent a paperclip and then nervously twisted it into a spiral around my pinkie finger.
He was typing for a long time. Finally, he responded, it’s not something you tell someone over text
I texted back, Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral?
i don’t know how to answer that
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
no
You said it doesn’t hurt, but is it uncomfortable?
A long pause, then, yeah.
If I guess what it is, will you tell me?
you’re not gonna guess
Never issue me a challenge, because I won’t back down. Also, I’m a professional researcher. I’ll find out what it is.
Another long pause.
I don’t want you to freak out, tapper. We don’t need to do it at the cottage. We’ve got other plans, right?
Which reminded me about my plan, and I forgot all about his kink.
I started sneaking time at work to write my speech.
It was hard to write. I didn’t want to sound like a greeting card.
What I felt for him was so special it had to be worthy of him.
Once I started writing, it got really personal, and maybe my eyes watered a bit.
I didn’t know what he’d think. I was afraid it wouldn’t be good enough.
I practiced the speech every time I walked Perry Mason. I’d recite it out loud but quietly so the people I passed wouldn’t think I’d lost my mind. And when I got back from walking the dog, I’d search online for a nice suit to wear to our wedding. I wanted to look my best for him.
On the morning of Eddie’s last day of filming, he left so early I didn’t see him.
I went to work early so I could leave early.
I’d made a list of everything I needed to do.
First off, get my hair cut, because I looked like a sheepdog.
Then, since I was already at the mall, I bought some jeans.
My old pairs were fine, but I wouldn’t call them sexy.
While I was there, I bought him a hoodie the same color as his eyes.
He never spent money on himself unless he had to, and I wanted to treat him.
I picked up the rental car next, drove home, and parked in one of the visitor spots.
Then I did laundry. We hadn’t had time to do laundry for...
there was a lot. I started four loads, then went back to the apartment, whipped up a pan of the brownies he loved, and while those were baking, I started packing.
The whole time, I was going over all the things I still needed to do, and then I had a minor panic attack thinking I’d left the ring at work, until I found it zipped into the pocket of my winter coat.
I didn’t know exactly when he was coming home.
He said he’d try to be home for dinner, since we’d planned to go out to a restaurant, like a real date.
I was folding and packing the laundry, wondering if I had time to make a batch of the Malteser cookies he loved, and my thoughts were running a mile a minute when I heard his key in the door.