Chapter Thirty-Two The Potluck and the Photoshoot
On Thursday, he arrived at my work at noon for the potluck, carrying the pan of brownies I’d made that morning. I met him in the hallway, took his hand, and pulled him into the office. Everyone was in the conference room, so the office was empty. I shut the door and put the brownies on the desk.
“Yeah,” he said.
I unzipped his coat, and we started making out.
“I really wanna,” he said.
“Me too.”
We stopped making out and held onto each other.
“We have really gotta start having sex first thing in the morning,” I said.
“Yeah.”
“I want you so much right now,” I breathed. I kissed him again, letting it linger.
He glanced at the door. “Do you think we can...?”
“I’ve got nothing to change into.” I kissed him again.
“You could go commando.” He backed me up against the desk till I was sitting on it. “Or I could blow you.”
We were eye to eye now. He eased my legs apart and stood between them so we were pressed against each other.
Then he kissed me again, and it got pretty heated.
I figured we were gonna end up doing it on the desk, when there was a noise outside in the hallway.
He pulled away from me, and I stood up. Whoever was out there walked past the door and down the hallway, but it killed the vibe.
I shut my eyes. “Shit. We should make ourselves sociable.”
“How long do we have to stay?”
“A couple hours. Just to be polite and so I can introduce you to people.”
“Okay.”
He sighed and opened the door, but I held it closed because I needed a minute.
“Why do you have to be so sexy?” I said.
He shrugged a shoulder, but he was grinning his ass off.
His hair was sticking up everywhere. I was tempted to let him into the conference room like that, but I couldn’t do that to my honey kid. I ran my fingers through his hair, took his coat off and hung it on the hook on the back of the door. Then I caught his eye, and we started kissing again.
I stopped him this time. Otherwise, we were never gonna get out of there. I picked up the brownies and led him to the conference room, holding his hand. He squeezed my thumb, I guess for reassurance. This wasn’t like coming out to my band. Still, it was a big thing.
I put the brownies at the end of the table and introduced Eddie to everyone as my fiancé.
I let go of his hand, because I wasn’t comfortable with that kind of PDA in front of my coworkers, but I kept touching his back and shoulder so everyone knew we were together.
He was wearing the hoodie I’d bought him and his unripped jeans, and he looked good, like, temptingly good.
I kept thinking about how we’d almost fucked on my desk earlier.
Candace flirted with him, but she flirted with everyone, so no surprise there. It was interesting watching him react to her. I always knew he was chill, but when she flirted with him...he wasn’t rude to her, but he was giving her nothing to work with.
When I introduced him to Angela, she said, “Hello.” And then she pointedly spent the rest of the hour across the room, talking to Simon, my boss.
Periodically, she’d dart a look his way, and if it was up to her, it would be a poisoned dart.
She reminded me of my mother. Angela disapproved of me because she was against sex before marriage, and I didn’t make a secret of the fact I’d had multiple girlfriends.
She disapproved of him because he was engaged to me.
In her mind, you were supposed to marry your high school sweetheart and not have sex until your wedding day.
I thought about what my life would have been like if we’d met in high school. I was sure I’d have fallen in love with him back then. But if his parents had kicked him out, would mine have taken him in? Not if they knew we were together. My mother disapproved of the whole “living in sin” thing too.
Hilde, who’d started with us back in May, was into me. She made a sarcastic remark after I introduced Eddie and spent the rest of the potluck across the room, looking pissed off.
He made small talk with people and ate the food. He acted the part of dutiful fiancé to a T. I was watching the clock. As soon as we could politely leave, I said goodbye to everybody, took his hand, and left with him.
“The brownies went down well,” I said, holding up the now-empty pan. “You did too.”
“I’m not jeopardizing your job?”
“No. The university has an antidiscrimination policy. I’m protected here.”
“You ready for your photo shoot?”
I’d forgotten about that—tried to forget. I brooded about it on the subway home. When we got into the elevator of our building, he kissed me. But I wasn’t up for it.
“What’s wrong?” he said. “You were ready to go off half-cocked a couple hours ago.”
“Sorry. Just freaked out about the photoshoot. I hate getting my picture taken.”
“It’s photos,” he said. “Not an audition.”
“At an audition, they only care about how I tap. I can control that. This photoshoot is all about how I look.”
“But you look good.”
“My nose is fucked up.”
He looked surprised. “It’s cute.”
“My sister says it’s fucked up.”
“Then your sister’s fucked up, not you.”
“My sister’s five-ten. She’s always making fun of me for being shorter than her.”
“I’m shorter than you,” he said.
“You’re perfect, though.”
“I’ve seen you naked, and I want to fuck you even more now than ever.”
“You’re my fiancé. You have to say that.”
“I didn’t have to get engaged to you.” He raised his eyebrows. “Three times.”
“Whatever.”
“Look,” he said. “I’ll get you prepared, help you pick out clothes.”
When we got back to the apartment, he went through my closet. He found my old baseball cap from when I played in a summer rec league. He put it on me with the peak facing backward, the way I never wore it, because I only ever used it as a sun visor. It pushed my hair into my eyes.
“Brings out your boyish charm,” he said.
“I’m twenty-three, not six.” I pulled the cap off.
He touched my left earlobe. “What happened to your ear?”
I thought he’d seen it before, but he’d been too nice to mention it.
“My sister and her friends thought it would be fun to pierce it.”
“I thought you said you weren’t into pain.”
“They didn’t ask my permission. I was five. Two of them held me down, and my sister stuck me with a needle. It bled everywhere. Hurt like hell too. Nearly tore my earlobe in half. It didn’t heal properly.”
“How old was your sister?” he said, with an edge in his voice.
“Eighteen.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“She got in trouble with our mom.”
“Eighteen.”
“She left home the year after.”
“Fuck,” he said. “The doctor couldn’t stitch it?”
“Mom didn’t take me to a doctor. She thought the doctor would report my sister, and she’d get in trouble.”
“She fucking should have. A grown ass woman doing that to a five-year-old kid.”
“You really give a shit, huh?”
“Of course I fucking do. I love you.”
“Even though I’m damaged goods?”
He took me by the shoulders and said, “Don’t ever say that. You’re not damaged. Don’t even think that.”
He almost never got angry. I felt touched, honestly, because at the time, nobody had cared about me. They’d only cared about keeping my sister out of trouble.
I smiled. “Okay, boss.”
“Good. Now, let’s make you look like a star. Put this on.” He handed me my favorite T-shirt.
I pulled it on.
“There,” he said. “You look good in pretty much everything, but in black, you’re so hot. And that orange brings out the copper in your eyes.”
“My eyes are brown, Eddie. They’re nothing special.”
“They’re amazing,” he said.
“Come on.”
“Come on, what? And that shirt shows off your body like wow.” He ran his hands down my sides.
“I’m skinny. I don’t have abs.”
“Neither do I.”
“Yeah, but you’re hot.”
“So are you. Why do you think all your ex-girlfriends wanted to sleep with you?”
“’Cause I put out on the first date.”
“You didn’t put out on our first date. You didn’t put out for five months.” He slipped his arms around my waist. “I wouldn’t have waited that long if you weren’t hot.”
I looked at the floor. “Sure.”
He ducked his head to catch my eye. “Trust me. I’m gonna make sure you look like a star in those photos. I’ve got your back. I’ll always have your back. Okay?”
Then he hugged me, and everything felt okay.
And the photoshoot went great. Having him there to watch me, I felt more confident than I usually did, just like when I tapped while he watched. I left the photo studio with him, feeling better about myself than I had in a long time.
And then I blew it.