Chapter 2 | Carter #2
“I still want to cancel my plans and spend tomorrow with you. I wanted to start over with honesty. When I saw you with your head down on the table, I wasn’t going to disturb you, but when I overheard you on the phone saying you have two days off, I saw it as an opportunity to get to know you.
I imagine being a resident is hard, and you rarely have time off. ”
“I don’t have a lot of time off. Still, I can figure something out if you want to hang out once you return. It’s Thanksgiving, and your family will be disappointed.” She tapped her thigh. “You have my number. Just call me whenever.”
Brooklyn’s refusal to meet my eyes and the somberness of her tone softened my heart and strengthened my resolve to get to know her. She believed I was letting her down gently and was giving me an easy out.
We walked through the arches of the rose garden, and the sweet smell of the fragrant flowers surrounded us, and the multitude of white lights above dotted the sky.
“Have you ever been married or have children? I don’t mind if you have children. Just want to know if you want more.”
She gulped. “Didn’t think that we would be having this type of conversation before we even had our first date.”
“I didn’t either until I bumped into you again. I can tell I already like you.” I sighed, “Figured we could decide now if we want to still spend time together after this conversation.”
“Engaged once. No children, though I would like at least one. I’ll be thirty-seven in February, so I know I don’t have a lot of time left to have a baby,” she replied carefully, though her curious gaze finally met mine.
“Thought you were younger,” I commented, pleasantly surprised we were closer in age.
“Prefer them young?” she asked with no judgment or censure in her tone.
“No. I would rather date a woman who's on the same page as me. I’ve dated a couple of women who were a lot younger, and we didn’t connect at all.” I pointed to a bush of purple roses. “Pretty.”
“Very.” She smiled. “Nice place for a non-date chat to see if we should spend more time.”
“I come here to think. To be around God’s beauty settles my soul when I need it.”
Brooklyn bent to smell a white rose. “This is one of my favorite spots in L.A. Sometimes, I’ll walk here from the hospital instead of eating lunch. Never knew that they had all this going on during the holiday season. It’s even more magical.” Her awe-filled expression drew me closer.
“This part is only open for special events for members or donors.”
“Membership has its privileges,” quipped Brooklyn. “Have you brought any other women here?” She shot me a side glance.
“No. Planned to drive here after I left the hospital, but then I bumped into you. I don’t like dating and fucking around with women.
I don’t like trying to figure out whether I should trust this one or whether she’s after my money, or wants to boost her fame.
I’ve been on my own for almost two years, and I’m tired of the games.
I just want my woman, the right woman, and we'll build something together, or we'll chill the fuck out of this life.”
“I can relate. To be honest, I’m not that good with dating.
I’m an introvert with my head in somebody’s book or relaxing at home when I’m not working.
Most days, I feel like I’m better off on my own.
I’m used to being by myself and figuring it out and not having to rely on someone who might not come through when I need it the most.”
I stopped walking in front of a Choi pond surrounded by colorful rose bushes and twinkling lights that cast rainbows around us.
A breeze blew her twists as her eyes widened and she gasped at the picturesque scene, while I admired a beautiful, composed woman who probably hid behind her work to avoid truly living.
To avoid being hurt again. “Don’t you get tired of figuring it out by yourself or not having someone to share the ups and downs? ”
Still staring at the lushly developed pond where the colorful Choi fish swam, her forehead dipped. “Of course, sometimes I’m so damn tired. But I can only control myself. I can’t make and don’t want to make a man do right by me.”
“What is doing right by you?” I looked at her, willing her to give me eye contact.
Brooklyn turned to face me. “A man who only sees and wants to be with me. I don’t share, and I’m not going to pretend it’s only me as long as he comes home to me. Mostly, I want someone who genuinely likes me, who accepts me for me and respects that my career is a priority, too.”
“Seems simple enough.”
“You say that like you’re really considering me.” She smiled, enhancing her heart-shaped beauty. “When you can have your cake and eat it too with most women. You don’t have to be with one woman if you don’t want to.”
“Because of who I am, it’s not possible that I want to be with one woman for the rest of my life?
” I scoffed. “Maybe because I married young or because I’ve been out there wild, having more than one woman doesn’t appeal to me.
Granted, I have done some dirt. I was married when I met my last woman, Joi, who didn’t believe I could only want her once we were together.
I’m not even sure if my ex-wife thinks I’m capable of being faithful, though I had been most of our marriage. ”
She touched my arm. “No offense, men who have a whole lot less than you, juggle women. Kind of hard for women to believe that a man like you can be with one woman forever. And if you are that man, then you’re a unicorn.”
“A unicorn?” Groaning loudly, I backed up from her.
“I turned forty a couple of weeks ago, and I’m at a crossroad in my life.
The life I want isn’t the life I've had for the past twenty or so years. Football ended six years ago, and I’m finally feeling peace about not being a star anymore.
I don’t want to be judged for the man I have been or might have been perceived as.
I want to be judged for who I am and how I treat you, or any woman I’m with, moving forward.
I did some messy shit that might make you look at me sideways, trying not to be my deadbeat father, and ended up in some respects being like him.
That’s not me anymore. I want to be surrounded by peace and contentment with pockets of happiness and joy for the rest of my life.
Maybe I don’t deserve it, or maybe I do.
But I will not settle for less. I can’t for the sake of my sanity and my children.
If that makes me a unicorn, then I’m a unicorn. ”
Brooklyn folded her arms. “Asking me to spend Thanksgiving with you is bigger than just a way to get to know me better.”
“Yes. I’m willing to cancel my plans in Dallas because I’d rather see if you could be my new family. If we continue to vibe like I believe we could, then for me it’s the start of us.”
She bit back her smile. “If we don’t?”
“Then hopefully we can stand each other enough to have a pleasant dinner, and I’ll catch a late flight and go see my people.”
Brooklyn inhaled and exhaled deeply. “Trying to wrap my head around what you’re suggesting. All of this is fast.”
“It is fast. But in my position, where can I meet a woman who I believe is worthy of the love I plan to give her and that I hope she can give me?” I pointed at her.
“If you say ‘church’, we can return to my car right now. Every time I set foot in a church, the most aggressive women somehow find a way to sit next to me. The church mouse, whom I really like, is too shy or married.”
“Now, I’m a mouse?” She asked with a slight twist of her neck, though her brown eyes danced.
I chuckled. “You said I’m a unicorn.”
“Tit for tat.” Brooklyn smiled before tugging on my sleeve. “Let’s go back. I’ve had four hours of sleep in thirty-six hours, and I don’t want to seem rude by yawning or falling asleep on you.”
Immediately contrite, I took her hand. “Sorry, I should’ve asked if you were up to walking.”
She squeezed my hand. “I wanted to be here with you. My body is screaming ‘go home’.”
Before she could protest, I picked her up in my arms. Her laughing squeal warmed my heart. She wrapped her arms around my neck. “You are such a show off. Even if these arms and your lungs are about to burst from holding me, you’ll pretend you’re good, right?”
“If you stop wiggling, I’ll be fine.” Years of working out made carrying Brooklyn easy. “I rarely meet quiet beauties, especially a brilliant doctor, who may be reserved and shy yet capable of loving me deeply and strongly.”
Brooklyn gazed at me. “How do you know that’s how I would love?”
He said wistfully, “I married a quiet beauty.”
She placed her hand over my heart. “Sounds like you really loved her?”
A vision of Darren as she looked on our wedding day drew a willing smile. “Will always love her. Doesn’t mean that I’m not ready to give another woman my all in ways I never gave her.”
Brooklyn tucked her head against my chest, held tight to me, and we remained quiet until we were back in my car and returned to the hospital parking lot.
Once we approached her gray Lexus, she shifted toward me and pulled one leg underneath her in the passenger seat.
“I’m in my third year of residency in Emergency Medicine.
It takes a lot of my time, and I have another year.
I can make time for you. Just not sure if it will be enough for you.
Marriage and children would have to wait at least until I finish my residency, and even then, I would need a true partner helping me juggle family and my profession.
I’m not your superwoman and won’t pretend I can do it all.
Men usually want to be a woman’s all, and I can’t and won’t promise that.
” She shook her head. “Once again, my mama would pop me again. She would shout that I’m finding reasons why we wouldn’t work instead of why we would.
She believes in love and taking risks with men. ”
I turned my hand in hers and entwined our fingers. “And you don’t?”
“I already know why loving a man is hard for me. It’s been my mother and me most of my life.
She actually lives with me now. Left Alabama because she missed me too much.
We take care of each other. My father isn’t necessarily a deadbeat, just a musician who barely made ends meet, so child support was nonexistent.
When you learn early on that relying on men to take care of you is a foolish decision, and then love confirms your original belief, it's hard to open my arms wide and welcome the next man.” She blew out her breath so that it made a whistling sound.
“I’m the biggest hypocrite. I hate it when women who say they want love act like I’m acting right now.
You’re being honest with me and intentional in your questions, and I’m ready to bolt from this car like you’ve done something wrong. ”
We quietly assessed each other in the small confines of my car.
My gaze dropped to her pouty lips, and her breath hitched.
She wanted me. Lust filled her body. Possibility danced in her heart if her bright eyes were any indication.
Yet, fear led her mind, and I didn’t know if I had it in me again to convince a woman that I was safe to love.
“Then go,” I commanded softly. “If this is all too much, open the door and leave. As you so eloquently told me earlier, you’ll be making the biggest mistake if you do.”
She tightly shut her eyes. “I’m sorry...I can’t...Mr. St...Carter.”
The throatiness of her voice as she said my name drummed up thoughts of me between her legs, in my bed, and in my life. I had to try at least once more. “Yes, you can. I told you I have no expectations for the next two days. We can take it slow.”
Her eyes popped open. “No, I meant that I can’t leave this car. Too afraid that if I step out, I’ll wake up, and this would be a dream. Scared that you’ll leave here and return to your senses, and this is the last time I’ll ever see you.”
Hope filled my heart as I reassured her, “I used to be one woman’s dream, and another woman was my dream.
I want to be your reality. Real love. Being honest, open, and there for each other even when we don’t fucking want to do it anymore.
Fighting fair and not below the belt when we’re angry with each other.
I’m not playing you and won’t ghost you whether you get out of my car right now or you stay.
” I picked up my cell and swiped to the picture I took of us.
“Over sixty thousand likes so far. The world already approves.”
Brooklyn covered her mouth with cupped hands. “Oh, God. How many followers do you have?”
“Over seven million. Not as many as when I played, but still a lot.”
“We haven’t even talked about what it means to be with you.” She looked at me, worry shading her pretty face. “I’m a lowkey and private person.”
“I can delete the photo or edit it to say you’re a fan or the doctor who helped my son.” Shit. I was already messing up with her. Of course, she wouldn’t want all that attention. What if she were seeing someone? Not being married doesn’t mean single. “Do you have a man or are you seeing someone?”
She replied, “I’m completely single. Have been for three years.”
Relief released the breath I didn’t know I held.
Brooklyn’s eyes narrowed before she picked up my hand and trailed her finger on my pulse.
“Your heart is beating fast.” She brought my wrist to her mouth and pressed her lips slowly against it before raising her gaze to mine, still holding my hand near her face.
“When you pick me up tomorrow morning at ten, let’s go grocery shopping first.”
I simply nodded, wondering if she knew that what she did had to be one of the most erotic moves I’d ever experienced.
She opened the door and slipped out without another word.
Now, I wondered if she was a dream.