Chapter Twelve
. . .
You already zoomed in, didn’t you? Perv.
You know the opening sequence in Legally Blonde? When that song plays, singing about how it’s the perfect day.
That’s how I feel opening my eyes this morning.
Somehow, the sky is bluer, and the sun is brighter than it’s ever been. This is my perfect day. And I’m even coincidentally waking up after twelve.
I throw back the blanket and stretch, thinking back to last night. Which isn’t hard to recall, especially since I’m still in their giant bed.
“You sleep with me on you.”
The smile on my face might never fade. Even when my stomach grumbles. I pat it, but then my face drops as I suddenly say, “Shit.”
I ghosted my sister for breakfast. So I roll over and grab my phone off the nightstand before my eyes grow bigger.
“Oof, looks like I missed a few messages,” I whisper to myself, seeing all the red dots on my phone.
Looks like the Gang-Banger Sisters’ chat’s been awake since early this morning. But as I sit up, I text Moon first.
Me: Good morning. I’m a terrible sister. I was all bros before my favorite hoes. And then I was wiped. Can you grab lunch today? I need to shower first but then I’m all yours.
I place my phone next to me, scooting back down in their comfy sheets, stretching again. On second thought, maybe I’ll stay here all day and wait for them to come back and devour me.
My eyes tick down to the bra I slept in. I need to go shopping again.
But my self-scrutiny is short-lived because a vision of the boys coming back home makes me grin wider. If I thought what we did last night was going to satiate the horny, I was dead wrong.
I distinctly remember being kissed this a.m., in multiple places, before they abandoned me. My eyes close as I bite my lip, letting my imagination run away for a second.
Until my phone dings.
I slap my hand down on it, lifting the screen to my face. An immediate chuckle bubbles out of me because instead of texting me back, Moon went straight to the group chat.
Moon: She’s alive and well…and not in her room I might add.
Moon: Who had money on waking up at their place + noon because you won twenty bucks?
Eleanor: Yeah, baby! Winner winner! I know good dick timeline.
Millie: Dammit. I was so close. I just needed one more hour.
Samantha: I think I speak for everyone, Margot, when I say, “Sooooo????? How was it?”
I glance out of the bedroom windows. They really do have the best view of the property. It’s a straight shot to the beach from the bed. I let out a very relaxed exhale, still smiling, before my fingers fly over the keys, knowing that once I say what I’m going to say, this chat will never shut up.
But that means I finally get to do something I’ve never been able to do—tell my friends about all the good sex I’ve had.
Me: Where do I even start? I’m still overwhelmed by just the memory.
Millie: Are they huge? Good? Are you sore? Was it what you wanted?
Eleanor: Who was the best kisser? Who’s the top? Are they all switches?
I laugh at all the questions for me to answer. This life timeline I’m on is wild. I went from lame and boring to having “temporary” boyfriends who have boyfriends. I’m living the dream. Literally the dream.
Me: They’re perfectly sized. Incredible kissers. But there was a standout dick…
I see bubbles because I know they’re waiting for me to finish that sentence.
Me: Wells is pierced.
More bubbles as I squeeze my eyes shut, kicking my feet for a second, celebrating the greatness of this moment. “Oh my god,” I breathe out as my phone erupts with text after text.
Eleanor: STFU. Can you feel it?
Eleanor: Was it better than normal dick?
Eleanor: I’m making Crew get it done.
Millie: How does this just keep getting better?
Millie: You have impeccable karma.
Millie: What’s your rising sign? What’s your sign?
Moon: Wells? No way. Wells! What kind?
Moon: Did you think he had a disease at first?
I laugh loudly because she knows me far too well.
Samantha: We’re dying for details…go! I have a meeting in like thirty minutes. I beg you. Feed us.
They’re going to have to wait because I have to pee, so I put my phone down, hearing it ding some more, before I handle my business, wash my hands, then snuggle back into bed.
I’m about to go on about the whole night, but I’m frozen as I stare down at my phone because the incoming messages weren’t from the girls.
It’s from a different group chat.
Wells: Morning, Cherry.
Brooks: You better have dreamt about me, Stunner.
Brody: Breakfast comes to you this morning. Because you have homework.
Homework? I frown. What is he talking about? No sooner do I think it than there’s a knock at the bedroom door. Well, I know it’s not them because Wells would never knock. Or he would, and I wouldn’t hear it.
“Come in,” I call out, not wanting to get out of bed.
The door opens, and I recognize one of the staff.
“Brody sent you breakfast in bed,” she says with a smile. I return her sentiment as she places a tray on the bed, adding, “Enjoy,” before she lets herself out.
I’m beaming as I type back quickly.
Me: Brody’s setting the bar high. You others are slacking.
Me: PS is my homework to eat myself into a coma? Because, okay.
The moment I send the text, three photos populate. I wish I weren’t mid-bacon-bite because I almost choke.
Staring back at me in full disclosure are three photos of the boys, all nude from the waist down.
“Oh. Mygawd.”
My face is the depiction of my words because I just got my very first dick pics.
Hell yeah.
I don’t even know what to type. Not that I plan to text anything. Because my head’s already shifting around the room as if I’m about to get caught doing something I shouldn’t. The smile on my face beams before I tap the first photo and zoom in.
“Hello, Brooks.”
But I’m usurped because more messages come in.
Brody: For your “pretty” regular dick memory bank.
Brooks: You can favorite mine. I won’t tell.
Wells: You already zoomed in, didn’t you? Perv.
Brody: Your homework is to study what’s coming your way tonight.
My fingers lift to my lips as Wells texts again.
Wells: And slacking? Okay.
What does that mean? What do they have planned? I don’t know, but I already like it.
I switch over to the Gang-Banger Sisters and hit FaceTime. Everyone answers within seconds, all with smiles on their faces.
“Girls, you’re gonna need to buckle in, because the tale I have to tell starts with me asking them to show me how to give a blow job and ends with breakfast in bed, accompanied by dick pics.”
Eleanor laughs from the passenger seat of a car. “This is my new favorite podcast.”
“I can’t say it enough. I’m loving this journey for you,” Millie agrees as she floats on something pink in a pool.
My sister answers from where she teaches yoga outside. She’s seated on her mat, clearly teaching, because she points and taps the AirPod in her ear.
And Samantha’s in an office, but there’s a man in a perfectly fitted suit a few feet behind her who everyone looks nervous to hand paperwork to. “But did you come? That’s what we all want to know.”
I take back every complaint about my sister’s big mouth. It’s very convenient for everyone to always be kept up to date on the details of my life.
The suit behind Samantha smirks before Eleanor and Millie yell, “Cole, get out.”
Samantha laughs before he winks at her and leaves.
A whoosh of breath leaves me as they all turn their full attention back to me, and I raise my brows. “I feel like I’m making a documentary. All I need is that Netflix music and mic.” I chuckle and continue. “So yeah, we all came. But…I haven’t had sex yet. And they haven’t even seen me naked.”
“What!” is jointly screamed by Millie, Eleanor, and Moon. I even hear it on the phone and outside from my sister.
My hand covers my mouth to contain my laughter, Eleanor apologizing to her husband for scaring him to death and almost making them crash.
Millie almost drowns after falling off what looks like a flamingo floatie, but still manages to keep her phone above water. And my sister does namaste over and over, probably trying to re-relax her class.
It’s pandemonium, except for Samantha, who’s just staring back at me with a smile.
“I told you it’s overwhelming. I fell asleep the first time because I was so rocked.”
I nod. “Yeah. It’s a lot. But what do they say? Practice makes perfect? So I’m really looking forward to what today has to bring. Because, ladies, my calendar’s officially booked with dick for the rest of the week.”