CHAPTER TWO
KNOX
“There’s a hiking trail about twenty minutes from here. Anyone wanna come and check it out?” I ask, standing in the open doorway of the tour bus. We got here earlier than expected, and I don’t intend to waste this gift of time on sitting around. I get plenty of that while we’re driving.
“Jason and I wanna come,” Cass calls out from somewhere in the back.
“No, I don’t,” Jason mutters, leaning against the fridge, eating a sandwich I’m pretty sure was Matti’s.
Cass comes marching out, clearly having heard him. “Well, you’re going anyway. Put on some shoes.”
He shoots her a dirty look but pushes off the fridge and heads for the back, I’m guessing to do as instructed.
“How come you’re so bossy today?” I watch her standing there, tapping her foot impatiently.
“I’m not being bossy. We’re just fighting,” she informs me, still staring after Jason who’s taking an unusually long time to put shoes on his feet.
“Um, maybe I want to revoke my invite,” I joke. “Mostly for Matti’s sake. I sold him on it first. I used words like ‘peaceful’ and ‘grounding’.”
She flicks her wrist, dismissing my concerns. “Oh, we’re not actually going hiking with you. We’re just going so I can find an isolated place in the woods to yell at him.”
I glance in Jason’s direction. He’s taking his sweet ass time in there.
“You’re not going to kill him though, right?
You’re going for the privacy, not the lack of witnesses and ample body burying opportunities,” I try to get her to lighten up a bit before we all pile into a car together.
“Because I don’t think we’ll sound our best if we’re missing our lead guitar tonight. ”
“You play guitar just fine,” she counters. “We could easily perform without him.”
Finally, Jason makes it back out to the front of the bus.
I don’t know whether to laugh at him or warn him. “Good God, man. What did you do to piss off your woman?”
He just shrugs and steps past her to go outside. “Apparently, forgetting that we kissed for the first time when we played The House of Rock here two years ago, makes me an asshole.”
“It does,” Cassady confirms loudly, stomping her way out after him, leaving me to follow both of them out, if at a safe distance.
“In my defense,” though, the way he’s got his arms spread wide as he says it, he looks more like he’s surrendering, “I didn’t know what city we were in or which venue we were playing tonight until after you were already pissed.”
“I still don’t know,” Matti adds, strolling into the huddle mid-conversation.
Cass glares at him.
Jason looks almost smug.
“Did you get the keys?” I ask Matti, eager to get beyond the part where their relationship squabbling has spread out within the band.
Matti dangles the set in the air in response. “Yep.”
“So, that’s it?” Cass hisses. “You’re all going to take his side?”
“No one is taking anyone’s side,” I clarify.
Meanwhile, Matti still doesn’t know what the fuck is even going on. “Why are there sides? Is someone fighting?”
“You know what, forget it!” Cass throws her arms up at all of us.
“No way am I leaving here with you guys just to be outnumbered three to one. Screw that.” She points at Jason, eyes getting all squinty like they always do when she’s pissed.
“Choose your next move carefully.” Then she spins on her heel, marches back into the bus, and slams the door shut behind her.
“Well, hey,” I say cheerfully, patting Jason on the back. “This worked out after all. You didn’t wanna go anyway.”
He glowers at me. “Right. Like this is the alternate ending I was hoping for.” He starts for the door to follow her inside then pauses to look back at us over his shoulder, “For the record, you think this is bullshit, correct? Like, no way should she be mad at me right now. I didn’t really do anything wrong, right? ”
“My man,” I start, barely holding in a chuckle while doing my best to mimic his tone. “ For the record , I think I told everyone that bandmates dating had disaster written all over it. Like, no way did I think anyone should ever attempt it. How could it not go wrong, right?”
His nose scrunches and he scowls at me. “You’re a dick, Knox.”
“Very possible,” I agree.
“Bye, Jason.” Matti waves, grinning like a jackass as he starts backing up toward the SUV we’re taking to get the hell out of dodge for a few. “Try and wrap this mess up before we get back, would ya?”
Jason grumbles something inaudible but carries on with his walk of defeat.
We don’t wait to watch him go inside. We’re on a tight schedule and their bullshit already set us back.
“How long before she stops being pissed and starts remembering she’s crazy about him, you think?” I ask as Matti’s pulling the SUV onto the road, officially leaving their drama behind us.
“I’m not completely convinced she was ever pissed at all. For all we know, she staged the whole thing just so they’d get some privacy on the bus for once.” He smirks. “The way she was ranting out front, I doubt anyone will dare step inside for anything.”
I laugh. “Hadn’t even thought of that.” I shake my head.
I still don’t think the two of them hooking up was a great idea, and there are times I wonder if the thing that keeps them together is the fact they can’t ever get away from each other, but at the end of the day, I also can’t deny that they share something special.
Even if it does look a little twisted and toxic from time to time. “Think you’ll ever get married again?”
“Where the hell did that come from?” Matti laughs. Then he turns instantly serious. “Wait, do you know something I don’t? Is Jason planning to propose?”
“God, I fucking hope not.” I can feel my eyes bug out at the thought. “I don’t even know what made me think of it. I mean, the two of them, obviously. Just the idea of having one constant in your life. Even when they’re making each other crazy, they’re still there for each other.”
Matti shrugs then checks the GPS before he returns his focus to the conversation we’re having. “Then my answer is no, I don’t think I’ll ever get married again.” He looks at me. “What about you? Think there’s still someone out there that might make you want to take that walk?”
“Why are you making marriage sound like death row? I thought you liked being married to Vanessa.”
He laughs. “I meant down the wedding aisle, dumbass.” He turns somber. “And I did like being married to Vanessa. Loved it if I’m honest.” He gets quiet and turns his attention toward driving and changing lanes. Our turn is coming up.
I let him sit with his thoughts for a bit. I’ve known Matti long enough to know there’s more coming.
“Ness and I did everything right,” he starts again slowly.
“We fell in love young but gave each other time to grow up. We traveled together. She went to college. I pursued music. And through all of it, we stayed together.” He flips on the blinker before he goes on.
“Even ten years in, when there was no question where we were headed, I did the whole thing. Bought the ring. Planned the perfect proposal. And everything went off without a hitch.”
I remember. I was there for all of it. If anyone ever had a chance at making me believe that I could fall in love and settle down with someone, it was Matti.
Matti then.
This Matti is too much like me to help me see it anymore.
“Then we got married,” he remembers, gaze cast on the road as he talks.
“Ness got the wedding of her dreams, and I got the bride of mine.” He smiles, but it’s bittersweet.
“A year later, she was pregnant with Nate. Then two years after, with Isobel. And still, we had the perfect life. Were the perfect couple. The perfect family.”
His words wind down as we come to a stop at the light. “And then...it just changed. No rhyme or reason. It was just over.”
There was more to it than that, but I get what he’s saying. “You don’t want to take that chance again.”
“If I couldn’t make it work with Ness, when we had everything going for us, why bother with anyone else?”
KENLEY
“Why don’t you have more clothes?” Arizona demands still half buried in my closet. She’s been in there since Sloan left with her father twenty minutes ago.
“Because I work from home and pajamas are comfy?” I offer, though I have a feeling she won’t like that answer.
“You can’t always wear pajamas,” she insists. “What do you put on when you leave the house?”
“You mean like today? For lunch?” I ask, pointing at my current ensemble. Turns out, when you pair fancy linen drawstring pajama bottoms in a clean tan and white stripe pattern with a crisp white fitted tee and cute sandals, they make for a surprisingly acceptable lunch outfit.
“I was going to let lunch slide since I came without warning,” Arizona grumbles. “What to do you wear on days you’re prepared to leave the house?”
“To go where?” Most of my outings these days are to the mailbox or the dance studio parking lot to drop off Sloan – I don’t even have to get out of the truck if I don’t want to. My pajamas are totally fine for those excursions too.
“Like, the grocery store?”
“I don’t go to the grocery store. I just order everything online and it’s brought straight to my door.” It’s possibly the greatest service ever invented, at least where the single working mom life is concerned.
“God,” she groans, dragging herself out of my closet to dramatically flop onto my bed, which I notice now, I have yet to make.
“It’s no wonder you’re single. How do you ever expect to meet someone if you never leave the fucking house?
In real clothes?” She swats at the cushions behind her.
“Not to mention this thing you call a bed. You’re a grown woman sleeping on a fucking sofa, Kenley.
There’s hardly enough room on here for you to sleep on, let alone a second person. ”