CHAPTER FIFTEEN
KNOX
I watch her face after I say it. Part of me was worried she wouldn’t see the significance of the gesture, wouldn’t understand that I’m not just showing her a makeshift recording booth my buddy uses on vacation, but that I’m showing her a piece of myself I can’t show her any other way.
Her eyes gloss over, and her smile shrinks in size but never loses intensity. “Best surprise ever,” she whispers.
She gets it.
“Oh, this is only part of it.” I wink before I turn away and start moving for the booth to check it out. There’s a stool and guitar in there, set up and waiting for me. Jared’s the man.
I turn back to look at her before I step inside.
Jared’s already in the room with us, getting settled at the board.
“You can have a seat,” I tell her, pointing out several opportunities to get comfortable.
The chair beside Jared. The sofa along the wall.
The two beanbag chairs in the corner. But she just shakes her head.
“I’m not ready to sit yet. I’m still taking it all in.” She sighs, a mix of bliss and appreciation moving over her like a wave, visible in everything from her expression to the way her body settles after it moves through. And something else. Something that instantly takes my breath away.
Love.
Love she feels for me. It comes out of her at such a force, I can physically feel it from across the room.
It’s enough to make me march right back to where I came from, pull her to me and press my lips to hers.
“What was that for?” she blinks up at me, hazy but smirking.
“Looking so damn right in every corner of my world.” I kiss her again. “And wanting to be in it.”
“Uh, y’all want me to leave the room for a minute?” Jared interrupts. “Because it’s getting a little hard to keep pretending to be super focused on the board when no one’s in the booth and the two of you keep canoodling, like, two feet behind my back.”
“I see the novelty of my presence has already begun to wear off,” Kenley jokes and I laugh harder than I expect to.
Not that she’s not funny. She is. Just haven’t seen her this way around anyone outside of her circle.
She’s reserved with others, like Sila’s friends, or even sitting in the restaurant surrounded by strangers.
Friendly but not open. But Jared’s not a stranger.
He’s part of my circle. And I kind of love that my circle already feels like hers.
“I’m going, I’m going,” I assure him, smacking one more kiss on Kenley’s perfect mouth. Because I can. And I damn well intend to every chance I get.
I get settled inside the booth, sitting on the stool, one leg propped up, foot sitting on a rung, both in place to support the guitar. It never feels quite right, playing someone else’s instrument, but I’ve been overlapping music with Jared long enough to hold his guitar and find it familiar.
“Ready when you are,” his voice comes through the speakers.
I nod.
My fingers glide over the strings, moving over them a few times to help me get into the zone. I’ve had the same melody stuck in my head since I woke up this morning, but since I haven’t had my guitar, this will be my first time playing it.
I try my hand at a few chords, getting a feel for the sound, making it match with the one in my head.
After a few minutes of working out the first kinks, I nod at Jared letting him know I’m ready.
I find Kenley’s gaze and hold it.
Then I start to sing.
Waited for you
Long before I even knew you
Crazy, yes, but true
All my life I’ve looked for you
Every road went on forever
Seemed so aimless
But my heart led true
All my life I searched for you
And every false north was a chance for more hope
Guiding my heart, like an arrow and bow
Target out of sight
But my aim was dead right, it’s true
I was always gonna come for you.
Wait seemed endless
Nights dragged on
Didn’t know it all could end so soon
You were looking for me too
And you lost your faith in love and fate
But somehow, you’re still here with me, it's true
Yeah, you were searching for me too
And every false north was a chance for more hope
Guiding my heart, like an arrow and bow
Target out of sight
But my aim was dead right, it’s true
I was always gonna come for you.
I was always gonna come for you.
I was always gonna come for you.
So, if you get scared, babe don’t you dare
Forget the truth
Babe, I’m coming for you.
‘Cuz every false north was a chance for more hope
Guiding my heart, like an arrow and bow
Target out of sight
But my aim was dead right, it’s true
I was always gonna come for you.
I was always gonna come for you.
I was always gonna come for you.
Girl, I’m coming for you.
KENLEY
If I wasn’t hardcore falling in love with the man before, I certainly would have been by the time he finished singing that song.
It’s not even the song itself, though holy shit – that song - it’s everything about him.
The way he converses with music, like it’s a lifelong friend he never tires of talking to, always finding new layers to their relationship, new perspectives to delve into and explore.
Even fresh territory is familiar to them, that’s how intimately they know each other.
Watching him in his element in this setting is a whole new experience. Even from across the room, and through the glass, I can feel him. Feel what he feels while he plays.
“Pretty cool having a front row seat to mastery in motion, isn’t it,” Jared observes quietly from my left, the headphones he’s been wearing, slid off one ear to talk to me.
“Kind of amazing, actually.” Speaking out loud draws my attention to the lump that’s formed in my throat.
I can’t believe how hard this is hitting me.
If I’m not careful, I may start crying right here and now.
And I’m not even sure why. Would they be happy tears?
Maybe. But it’s not just overwhelming joy surging through me.
It’s grief too. Heartache collected and buried where I could hold it until I had time and strength to heal it.
Now I can’t help wondering if all that’s left to do, is to simply let it go.
I wait until Knox isn’t looking to casually swipe at my eyes, removing any hint of emotion that dared make itself visible.
Thankfully, Jared has put his headphones back in place and seems entirely focused on his work at the board again, allowing me to get a grip without worrying about watching eyes.
Better yet, Knox starts to play again.
Next thing I know, an entire hour has gone by of Knox playing and tweaking his song while Jared continues adding to the magic on his end, giving feedback in between each round.
It’s better than any private concert I’d ever imagined.
Every time I think the song can’t get any better, they add a new dimension, making me love it even more.
“Hey, I wanna try something. You up for it?” Jared asks Knox through the speaker connecting both spaces.
“Always.” Knox grins, intrigue rising in his blue eyes.
“Cool.” Jared moves his finger from the speaker and turns toward me. I notice he’s wearing his headphone half off again, only this time, I didn’t catch him make the adjustment. “I need a favor.”
“Sure.” Being a fly on the wall has been awesome, but getting to participate in some small way, is bound to be even more fun.
“Can you go in the booth with Knox?”
My brow crinkles but I don’t voice my confusion. “I can.” And I do.
Slowly. But I go in and join Knox as requested.
“Hey, beautiful.”
I want to make a face at him and tell him not to be cheesy. But I can’t. Because I love it. “Hey,” I mumble back, reverting to some version of me much younger and far less jaded. “Apparently, I’m doing Jared a favor.”
“Yes,” Jared’s voice comes in over the speaker. “And I’m going to need you to get much closer to the mic to do it.”
I’m still confused. And I’m suddenly reminded of the time I nearly failed an employee evaluation due to my struggles with authority. I don’t like following orders that don’t make sense to me. “What is it exactly I’ll be doing in here to help out?”
“Singing,” Jared announces like it’s obvious. “Let’s start with the chorus, hear how you two harmonize, and go from there.”
“Excuse me?” Instantly I take a step back, putting more distance between me and the mic. Not less as instructed.
Meanwhile, Knox looks pleasantly surprised. “You up for it?”
I start to shake my head, but Jared offers his response faster, “She’s definitely up for it. Been listening to her for the last half hour or so. She’s got something. You’ll dig it, trust me.”
I guess now I have a better idea of how long Jared’s headphones have been off his one ear.
If I had known he was listening that whole time, I would have practiced a little more self-control.
“This...is crazy.” It’s not much of an argument, but I can see myself on the losing end of things if I try to take the route of reason.
“Are you suddenly scared of singing in front of us?” Knox asks, a smile lingering in his eyes even as his mouth is curved with tender concern. “Because I’ve already heard you put on a full concert from inside your shower.”
I close my eyes, summoning the floor to open up and swallow me. “You were supposed to politely pretend you never heard that,” I grumble.
“I thought you two were on a tight schedule,” Jared interrupts, grinning. “Also, I wanna hear if this sounds as cool in real life as it does in my head. Squash the fear and let’s do this.”
I take a breath and slowly let it out. “This isn’t weird? Like I’m overstepping while you’re working?”
“You’re literally trying to backstep while we’re trying to drag you over,” Knox points out, chuckling. Then he gets serious. “Besides, I can’t think of anything that could capture this song more perfectly than singing it with you.”
God, I wish he’d stop doing that. “You better never use your powers on me for evil,” I warn him, taking one big, intentional step in toward the mic. “Let’s do this.”
He smiles.
He starts to play.