CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO #2
“Who?” Last I checked, she has a Grandma and a Nanny. Grandma Bean is no relative I’m familiar with. And since she’s my kid, I kind of think I ought to be.
“Grandma Bean,” she repeats, as if I’m having a hearing issue. When I’m clearly still not getting it, she adds, “Knox’s mom.”
I almost drop the box of cereal, and the way my kid seals ( doesn’t seal) bags and boxes, that would not have gone well. “Why is Knox’s mom texting you?”
Sloan shrugs. “Because she checks in with all the grandkids once a day. We have a group chat going too that she posts in with updates about the annual backyard glamping weekend. Did you know Knox has seventeen nieces and nephews?”
“I did not.” Apparently, I didn’t know a lot of things. “What is backyard glamping and why does it happen annually and why do you need to know about it?” I’m working my way back from my most recent questions. I have more.
“Grandma Bean does this whole thing where she sets up a crap load of tents in her back yard and invites over all the grandkids for the weekend. She makes a bonfire where we cook everything and roast marshmallows. Plus, there are crafts and games. But it’s glamping and not legit camping, because we can still go inside the house to shower and use the bathroom. ”
“That’s encouraging,” I mutter dryly. “And just to be clear, you’re being counted as a grandchild? Of Grandma Bean’s?”
Her eyes go sideways, like she’s suddenly worried she made a mistake somewhere. “Yeah,” she says hesitantly.
“And this was established when?” The amount of self-control I’m exerting to not start shrieking should come with an award.
“While you were at the dance mom meeting.” She takes the box of cereal from my hand.
Apparently, she’s too hungry to deal with my craziness without also making herself breakfast. “Knox said he had a chance to invite you into his world and he wanted to do the same with me. So, we called his mom. And I met Grandma Bean on FaceTime.”
“Oh.” And then, a few hours later, I told him I didn’t want to commit to anything. Because I didn’t trust either one of us to know what we were doing. I’m an asshole. And an idiot. “So, you’ve been talking to her ever since?”
“Uh-huh.” She scoops up her first bite and guides it to her mouth.
“She texted me the night of the show too. Asked how it went. Told me she couldn’t wait to come and see me dance.
” She grimaces. “I almost feel bad. I barely know her and it’s already easier to keep a conversation going with her than it is with Nanny.
Plus, I talk to her every day, and I can’t even remember to call Nanny once a week. ”
“Are you texting Grandma Bean, or is she the one checking in with you?”
“She’s checking in with me.”
“Right.” And there’s the difference. She’s not depending on the teenager to make contact and keep their relationship on track.
“I see how that’s different now.” She grins. “Want me to FaceTime her and introduce you? I bet she’d like texting you too.”
I shake my head. “No, I think I’ll wait until Knox introduces us. Might be weird having you do it. Besides, I think it’s kind of special that he wanted you to be a part of that piece of his life like that. That he shared it just with you for now.”
She shrugs, picking up her phone in one hand and grabbing her bowl of cereal with the other. She starts back for the stairs, heading up to her room and back to her schoolwork. “Oh. I totally forgot to tell you,” she calls back just as she reaches the steps. “Check your shoes.”
“Huh?” I actually check my shoes pretty regularly. When you share a yard with three dogs, you kind of have to. “Which shoes? Why?”
She laughs. “I don’t know. Before he left, Knox just said to tell you to check your shoes.” She starts walking up the stairs. “Does he know about your obsession with Cinderella? Because that was the first thing I thought of when he said it.”
Cinderella. We did talk about that story. The first night we met. Soul to soul.
“My shoes.” The only ones he could be talking about would be the ones I wore that night. They’ve been buried in my closet again ever since.
Racing up the stairs, taking two and three at a time, I run to my room and go straight for the closet. The first shoe is just a shoe. The second has a folded sheet of paper in it.
“Holy shit,” I whisper to Hannah who was up here napping until I came storming through.
Too frazzled to do much else, I decide to plop down onto the floor and just sit for a moment.
“Okay,” I try to pep myself up, “whatever is on this piece of paper is bound to be good.” Unless it’s a Dear John letter.
No! I shake my head at my own ridiculousness.
Freakin’ mean girl voice inside my head doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Knox wouldn’t do that. It’s not who he is.
I take a breath, and once I’m committed, I unfold the paper as fast as I can.
“They’re lyrics,” I mumble, taking in the handwritten words.
At first, I just love the sight of his handwriting. I always think it reveals such a personal, intimate side of a person. Entire aspects of their personality show through in the way they swoop their t’s or dot their i’s.
Only after I let the feel of him in the words sink into my chest, do I let the meaning of them enter my mind.
They say I’m far too independent
To ever tie myself to someone
But here you are
They say it’s much too late for me
To ever change my way of being
But here you are
They say my life is complicated
No one could ever understand it
But here you are
You show me all the ways you see
A beautiful kind of light in me
Now here we are
You truly, wholly show me
All the things I never see
All the pieces I was missing my whole life
I truly, wholly love you
To see you is to know you
Yeah, you’re everything I never thought I’d find (yeah)
One look at you, it was soul to soul
Fell for you, and found the magic, found the magic
One look at you, it was soul to soul
Fell for you, and found the magic, found the magic
Every word you speak is a feeling
Hold me close, now I’m never leaving (no)
One look at you, it was soul to soul
Fell for you, and found the magic, found the magic
You never thought you’d have a chance
To open up your heart and dance
But here you are
The broken pieces of your heart
I kiss them ‘til they’re not apart
Now here we are
You truly, wholly show me
All the things I never see
All the pieces I was missing my whole life
I truly, wholly love you
To see you is to know you
Yeah, you’re everything I never thought I’d find (yeah)
One look at you, it was soul to soul
Fell for you, and found the magic, found the magic
One look at you, it was soul to soul
Fell for you, and found the magic, found the magic
Every word you speak is a feeling
Hold me close, now I’m never leaving (no)
One look at you, it was soul to soul
Fell for you, and found the magic, found the magic
Now all we know, is soul to soul
Soul to soul, oh
This feeling in my heart, girl
You should know, oh you should know
One look at you, it was soul to soul
Fell for you, and found the magic, found the magic
One look at you, it was soul to soul
Fell for you, and found the magic, found the magic
Every word you speak is a feeling
Hold me close, now I’m never leaving (no)
One look at you, it was soul to soul
Fell for you, and girl I found the magic, You’re the magic.
Tears are shrouding my vision by the time I’m done reading. But I don’t care. I don’t need to see what’s right in front of me anymore. I can finally trust what I feel. What I’ve been feeling all along.
It’s real. Me and him. It’s so fucking real.