7. McKenzie
SEVEN
McKenzie
Caesar’s face was priceless when I sauntered back into the living room with Luca. His eyes went wide as though I’d performed a magic trick, making a hot guy appear out of thin air. When it came time to split into teams, Caesar quickly volunteered for Katie’s with Dallas and Sydney, giving Luca a wide berth all evening as though he might bite.
My team consisted of me, Luca, and Katie’s friend Margot whom I liked a lot. She had pink hair, a pixie-like frame, and a potty mouth. Between the three of us, we crushed it. Well, Luca and I did. Margot mostly provided colorful commentary, but Luca and I were on the same wavelength. It was almost like there was an invisible telephone line connecting our brains. He understood my crude drawings, sometimes even before I’d finished them. We played three full games and won them all.
“I still don’t know how you got that last one,” Dallas told Luca after everyone else had left.
“I don’t know how you didn’t ,” Luca said with a laugh.
“Seriously,” I added with an eye roll, pointing to the masterpiece I’d sketched. “There’s a dick. There’s a chain.”
“Dick Cheney,” Luca said, holding out his hand to give me a high five.
When his skin touched mine, a shiver coursed from my palm, up my arm, and through the back of my neck. He was so beautiful it was almost painful. Like that time I found a black onyx ring I loved at this vintage jewelry store and then saw the price. It was stunning, one of a kind. But it would never belong to me.
“You two make a good pair,” Katie said, stacking the last of the now empty dishes on top of each other to take to the kitchen. “You know, we’d love for you to join us again next month if you decide to stick around Nashville, Luca. I hope you do. Promise you’ll come if you’re still here?”
If you’re still here.
My heart sank. He was just visiting, after all. The thought shouldn’t have bothered me as much as it did. It wasn’t like I was looking for a relationship. Even if I was, I was certain I wouldn’t be Luca’s type. Curiosity had gotten the better of me after seeing him at the restaurant, and I’d tripped and fallen down a Google rabbit hole that showed him with women on his arm that could make the Victoria’s Secret Angels cry.
I didn’t normally care much about my looks, but even I knew when I was outmatched. Those girls were elevens, but I was sitting maybe at a seven and a half on a good day.
“I think I could be persuaded,” Luca said, his blue eyes like shards of stained glass cutting right into me.
I cocked my head to the side. “Oh, I don’t do that.”
“Do what?” he asked.
“Persuade. Beg. Plead,” I answered, scooping my crossbody bag off the floor and slinging it around me. “If you don’t come next time, I’m fine with it being just me and Margot.”
“Margot, who thought the hair on the dick’s balls was glitter?” Luca countered.
My hands popped onto my hips. “I didn’t say we’d win .”
“Well, I will beg,” Dallas said. “Caesar was awfully quiet with you here, Luca, and that’s good enough for me.”
“It was definitely a perk,” I added with a chuckle as we all started toward the kitchen. Katie and Dallas carried what was left of the food and dishes, and Luca trailed behind me.
“Well, I’m going to head out,” I said, inching closer to the back door. “I’ll see you guys later.”
Katie plunked the dishes in the sink and wiped her hands on her jeans before giving me a hug.
“I’m glad you came,” she said, returning to her tidying. “We’ll be back to our normal schedule at the restaurant next week. Thanks for holding down the fort.”
“Yeah, no problem.” I lingered in the doorway for a second as she and Dallas worked around each other in the way people do when they’re totally in sync. He bumped her hip with his, and her lashes fluttered up at him. Why were couples so nauseating?
“I’ll walk you out,” Luca offered, slipping his arm behind me to open the door.
“Oh. Uh. Okay,” I said. “You really don’t need to do that, though.”
He lifted his shoulders. “It’s nice out. I thought I’d get some air.”
“Good night,” I called over my shoulder as I stepped onto the porch and started down the steps. Once the door clicked shut, the only sounds left were that of my heart pounding in my ears and a moth engaged in battle with the motion light.
“Hey,” Luca said when I reached the bottom.
I turned, and there he was, his forearms resting on the railing. For a moment we were in some reverse Romeo and Juliet situation, and I had the urge to climb back up and take one last look at him in case I didn’t get to see him again. As hot as his online images were, nothing came close to the real thing.
“Yeah?” I asked, digging my keys out of my bag.
“Tonight was fun,” he said.
“Thanks again for saving me from Caesar.”
He nodded, dragging his teeth over his bottom lip. “So, next month, then?”
“I’ll be here,” I said, backing away toward my truck.
I thought I saw him smile in the flicker of the porch light. “Then so will I.”
“Look at that. I didn’t even have to beg.”
My cheeks burned against the chilly night air, and I bit back a smile as I climbed into my truck. All of a sudden, I was a lot more interested in game night.
It was Thursday, but it wasn’t just any Thursday. I hadn’t changed the calendar on my fridge since last month in a weak attempt to avoid this very date. October tenth. Every year I longed to sleep through it and the days after marked the beginning of a series of firsts—my first meal without him, the first holiday in his absence. But the worst was that first time I needed to call him but couldn’t. Knowing his voice would never be waiting on the other end of the line or anywhere at all weighed on me like a backpack full of bricks. One trip down memory lane could send me wading into the ocean with the weight of the person who was my world on my shoulders.
Mom called me early that morning, though for her it was a little after three in the afternoon. Her voice was less chipper than it had been in the previous days I’d spoken to her.
“I’m sorry I’m not there today, Kenz,” she’d said.
I forced a smile that wasn’t there into my voice. “Don’t be. He’d be so happy for you, Mom. You deserve this. I don’t want you worrying about me, okay? I’m working and then a couple of friends from group are staying over, so I won’t be alone.”
My lie seemed to satisfy her because by the time we said goodbye, she sounded like she was in better spirits.
It wasn’t a complete lie. I did have work, and I was planning to see Kia, Jen, and Ravi. I really was. But when Kia sent me a text that afternoon to confirm our dinner at Olive Garden, I told her I had to cancel—that I’d caught a stomach bug. I was pretty sure she didn’t believe me, but she didn’t push. Instead, she told me to feel better and she’d check on me tomorrow.
I stayed at work as late as I could but ran out of things to do a little after seven. We were only open till five, primarily serving the breakfast and lunch crowds. But there was often still plenty to do between daily prep work and catering gigs. It just so happened that in my efforts to avoid real life, I’d managed to finish everything a lot sooner than I would’ve liked.
With the restaurant locked up, I trudged out into the rainy night and climbed in my truck. I couldn’t bring myself to go home. All I wanted to do was drown my sorrows in carbs and hard liquor. Perhaps I’d find some relief at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey. Or at least maybe I’d find some sleep. Immediately, I knew where to go.
There was a dive bar I loved with amazing cheeseburgers and a jukebox about ten minutes from my place called The Piccadilly Deli. Apparently, it was the name of the restaurant that occupied the building before they shut down, and the owners of the bar were too lazy to change it. The floors were sticky and it smelled like wet socks, yet somehow they still had a ninety-nine health score, so I didn’t ask questions.
I parked my truck in the nearly empty lot and ran inside, pulling my hoodie tighter around me. The bartender waved from where he was wiping down the scarred wood bar. He was bald with a soft stomach and sleeves of tattoos that reminded me of Dallas. We weren’t on a first name basis or anything, but I came in often enough that he recognized me.
“Hey,” he greeted me. “Shitty weather, huh? You getting something to go?”
“No,” I answered with a faint smile. “Gonna be doing some drinking tonight.”
“Right on,” he said. “You can sit anywhere you want.”
I nodded and found a small booth in the back near the jukebox and sat facing the door.
“So, what can I get you to start?” he asked, approaching the table. “Do you need to see a menu?”
I shook my head. “Cheeseburger and fries with pickles on the side and a Bushwacker.” I could already taste the frosty chocolate cocktail on my tongue.
“Want any chips and salsa while you wait?”
“No, but I would love a shot of Jack. Actually, make that two.”
“Oh, so you’ve had a day ,” he said with a chuckle. “You got it. Coming right up.”
I studied a scratch in the wood, running my finger along the deep gash while I waited for my first round.
When the bartender returned, he did so with three shots, a glass of water, and some chips.
“Third one’s on the house. You look like you could use the extra. Plus, I’m superstitious about even numbers,” he said. “And you don’t have to eat the chips, but if you’re gonna be drinkin’, you should probably make sure you’re eating plenty too.”
“Thanks,” I said. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I’ll have that burger right out for you.” He tapped his knuckles against the tabletop before venturing back behind the bar.
I picked up one of the shot glasses between my fingers, tipping it toward the empty space across from me.
“This one’s for you, Brennan,” I whispered before slinging it back, relishing the way it burned as it slid down my throat. Soon that fire would spread to all of my memories, and with any luck, it would consume them, making them disappear, even if it was just for the night.