Chapter 6
The pub was mostly empty. James led Mallory to a booth near a large window that overlooked the street so they could watch the gentle snowfall outside.
After they were settled, she realized that the sparse crowd did not indicate the quality of the place.
The service was fast, the food was delicious, and the drinks just kept coming—whether she remembered ordering a refill or not.
By the time she finished her first couple of sliders, she’d already washed them down with two cold beers.
Now she was sipping a very strong, holiday-themed cider, that she knew would make her drunk if she wasn’t careful.
But Mallory didn’t care, she was thoroughly enjoying herself.
“No, you’re wrong,” she said, interrupting James halfway through his story about prom. “Jen was actually runner up for queen, remember? But since Wendy went home early because she wasn’t feeling well, Jen danced with Larry, the prom king.”
“Ooh, you’re right.” He waved a knowing finger at her.
“And that’s why Pete and Larry got in a fight afterwards.
Because Pete felt like Larry had been too handsy with Jen during the dance.
Now it’s coming back to me.” He took a swig of his beer and laughed.
“It’s so funny how important all of that seemed back then and now I hardly remember it. ”
“I know.” She nodded. “Who you went to prom with, what you wore… It felt like life or death at the time. Or at least, some of the kids made it out to be that way. It was the only thing every girl obsessed about for weeks leading up to it. I didn’t even wanna go to be honest, but my parents made me.
They said I’d regret it if I stayed home. ”
“Hey, same here!” James said, raising his hand in agreement. “My aunt kept lecturing me about it until I finally gave in.”
“Do you think they were right?” she asked. “Do you think if we hadn’t gone, we’d be sitting here regretting it now?”
He paused and rested his chin on his hand. “Hmm. That’s a good question. I’m not sure. I had an okay time I guess, but without having a date, it was very… anticlimactic.”
Mallory nodded and sighed. “Yeah, I didn’t have a date either.”
“I know.”
She straightened up and furrowed her brow. “You know?”
“Well—uh—I remember that you didn’t go with anyone. I saw you at one point standing at the back of the room by yourself. I thought it was crazy nobody had asked you to go with them.”
Mallory face flushed. “Why—what do you mean?”
“Because you were so cool in high school.”
Mallory snorted and threw her head back. “I was not.”
“What’re you talking about?” James waved a hand, dismissing her comment. “Of course you were cool! You were always doing your own thing, and you didn’t care what people thought about you. That's the definition of cool. I always really admired the way you just… went on your own path.”
“Yeah, a path that meant I almost didn’t graduate…” Mallory sunk into her seat, rubbing her glass with her thumb. “A path that did lead me to a series of dead-end jobs and no money.” She sighed, regretting her own honesty. “I just mean… I wasn’t cool. I was lost. I still am.”
James was quiet for a moment. “Well… I think everyone was at least a little lost back in those days.”
“You weren’t,” she said with a critical tone. “At least, you didn’t seem lost. If I remember correctly, you were the top of our class, valedictorian, and then you went off to MIT to study computer science. You knew what you wanted to do from day one, right?”
James sighed. “Yeah… mostly… I’m not sure that having everything planned out at such a young age is a good thing either.”
“Go on. I’m dying to know how getting a full ride to MIT didn’t set you up for success.”
“Alright, fine. I’ll tell you,” he said with a laugh.
“Yes, I was given a scholarship for MIT, but that just covered tuition. My aunt didn’t have any money to give me for living expenses or things like that.
I ended up having to take out a couple private loans because the program was too demanding to keep a part-time job.
At the time, I thought that I’d be able to pay everything back soon after graduating, since I was planning on getting a well-paid job in Silicon Valley or something.
Then, my aunt’s health took a nose-dive, and I ended up moving back here right after I finished my degree.
It took me fifteen years to pay off those loans because of their high interest rates, and the fact that there weren’t nearly as many high-paying computer jobs in Ferndale at the time. ”
“I’m sorry to hear about your aunt,” she said, her voice tinged with sympathy. “I hadn’t realized her health was that bad.”
“Unfortunately, it’s only gotten worse.” He looked down at his lap for a moment and then cleared his throat before meeting her gaze again.
“But the reason I even bring all this up is just to prove that even the best laid out plans can fall apart. Sure, I had everything figured out, or so I thought… then life threw a monkey wrench into everything. For a while, I also felt really lost.”
Mallory leaned back into the vinyl booth cover, his words settling over her.
As the designated family misfit, she’d always believed that everyone around her had far more control over their lives than she did.
But in this moment, for once, it was like the clouds had parted and she was seeing the world through a new lens.
Of course, she’d made a lot of poor decisions that led to her having to move back home in her late thirties without a penny to her name, but that didn’t mean she was the only one struggling.
She wasn’t the only one who didn’t have everything figured out.
“I didn’t mean to bring the mood down,” James said, glancing down at his hands.
“Huh? Oh, no. You didn’t!” She waved her hands, giving him a reassuring smile when he met her gaze again. “I appreciate you saying all that. And in case no one told you, it’s admirable that you came back here to take care of your aunt. Not everyone would do that.”
James shook his head. “It was the least I could do. My Aunt Miranda raised me after my parents passed away when I was a baby. She’s the kindest, most selfless person I’ve ever met, and I honestly just wish there was more that I could do to help her. She’s in a lot of pain… especially these days.”
“What—what does she have?” she asked timidly. “If you don’t mind me asking...”
“Rheumatoid arthritis,” he said. “And emphysema. But her arthritis is what causes her the most trouble. It’s gotten so bad, she can hardly uncurl her fingers anymore.”
Mallory let out a loud gasp and then covered her mouth. “Sorry,” she said, pushing her drink aside. “I didn’t mean to have such a dramatic reaction, it just… I guess I didn’t realize how much help she needed. If she can’t uncurl her fingers, then you must have to do… everything for her.”
James took a beat and then nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We have a nurse that comes and helps out when I’m at work or whatever, but mostly it’s me.”
Mallory’s expression softened with sympathy. “That sounds really hard.”
“It’s… not easy.” He smiled sadly. “That’s another reason I want to go all out for this Thanksgiving, because I think it might be the last one she’ll be able to enjoy in her house. If things keep going the way they’ve been the last year or so, she’ll have to be moved into a home.”
Mallory could see the emotion welling in James’s eyes. She wanted to reach out or say something comforting, but she didn’t know what to do. She’d never experienced the turmoil that comes with putting a loved one into a home, so she bit her tongue and decided to listen instead.
“I’m really torn though,” he said. “On the one hand, I know I can’t provide her with the care she needs.
But on the other hand, it’s hard to think about just sticking her in a home, you know?
She could’ve handed me over to the state when my parents died, gotten rid of me without a second thought, but she didn’t. So how can I get rid of her?”
“No, this is different,” Mallory said. “If you decide to put your aunt in a home, it’s because you want to do what’s best for her. She’ll understand, and I’m sure you’ll visit her all the time. She might even make some new friends there!”
“I hope so.” James released a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping.
“But nothing’s set in stone right now. Her doctor wants to try putting her on a different medication soon, so maybe that’ll make a big difference, and I can keep caring for her.
” He chuckled under his breath. “Even though my aunt keeps asking to be put in a home.”
“Really?” Mallory lifted her drink and took a small sip. “Why does she want to be put in a home?”
“She worries about me,” James said with a wave of his hand, as if that was the most ridiculous thing his aunt could worry about. “She thinks I’ve put my life on hold in order to take care of her.”
“Oh...”
He smirked, running his finger around the rim of his glass. “And I can tell you agree with her.”
Mallory raised her hands. “I never said I agreed with her!”
“I’m reading between the lines.”
Mallory groaned. “That’s not fair. Don’t read too much into anything I say. Not only do I have very little information on the subject, but I’m also a little tipsy, so just ignore me.”
James’ gaze lingered on her for a beat, his green eyes catching the light. “I don’t think I could ignore you even if I tried.”
Mallory parted her lips to speak, but no words came.
For a moment, she remained still and speechless, her thoughts drowned out by her racing heartbeat.
She scrambled to take another sip and mask her surprise.
She didn’t know what made her more anxious, the fact that James was flirting with her or that it was working.
“Alright,” she said, composing herself, “tell me your side of things. If you’re not putting your life on hold, then prove it.”
“How would I do that?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know… Tell me what you do for fun?
Do you have a group of friends here in Ferndale?
Are you… dating anyone?” Even though she already knew the answer to this last question, she wanted to hear him say it in his own words.
After all, it was possible that what she’d heard through the town rumor mill wasn’t fully accurate.
James smiled. “Have you been talking to my grandmother behind my back?”
“No.”
“Because she’s been asking me the same thing for a few years,” he said.
“The question about my dating life, not the other two. But now that you mention it, maybe if I had a good group of friends who I was hanging out with regularly, she wouldn’t be so worried about whether or not I had a girlfriend. ”
“Probably,” Mallory agreed. “But I think it’s fair for her to want you to have people in your life—whether they’re friends or someone you’re dating.”
James shrugged. “Yeah, but she doesn’t understand how hard it can be to make friends in a small town like this. She’s always been a social person, it’s easy for her to connect with people, but that’s never been my strong suit.”
“I know what you mean. I haven’t had a ton of luck in the adult friend department. Or in the dating world.”
His eyes widened. “You mean… you’re not with someone?”
Mallory shook her head. “Nope. Not currently and not really in the past either. As pathetic as that may sound.”
“Hey, I have no room to judge…”
She arched her brow. “And yet, you look like you’re judging me.”
James waved his hands defensively. “No, not at all! I just really wasn’t expecting you to be single. I thought for sure you would’ve met some cool, artsy guy in some big city and that would be that.”
She snorted. “No. Unfortunately not.”
“It’s not unfortunate for me,” he said under his breath. A second later, he seemed to realize what he’d just said because his face flushed a deep red and he cleared his throat. “Sorry, that was the alcohol talking.”
Mallory laughed, but the sound came out giddy and high-pitched like a schoolgirl’s giggle. Her cheeks reddened and she wanted to jump out of the nearest window.
Oh my god, what’s wrong with me?
“Anyway,” James said loud enough to shatter the tension between them, “you’ve told me a bit about what you haven’t been up to since graduating, but I want to know what you have been up to.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Really, I do!” he insisted. “I’m genuinely curious.”
“You’re only curious because you don’t know how boring the story is,” she said.
“The good news is I can sum it up in a few sentences. I’ve been jumping from job to job, going from city to city, trying to find something that feels right.
So far, I’ve come up short every single time.
My adult life has been a series of missteps and dead ends.
” She laughed bitterly. “Who knew things were only going to be downhill after my parents cheated to help me graduate?”
James choked on his drink and coughed a few times. Once he could finally get a word out, his voice was hoarse. “They did what?”
She stared at him with an amused smile. “You heard me.”
“Okay, but I need a lot more information. Hold that thought.” He put a finger up when she started to talk again. “I’m going to get us another round and then I want to hear every single detail.”
She smirked. “Only if you promise not to rat me out. The last thing I need right now is to have my high school diploma revoked.”
James grinned excitedly. “Deal.”