Chapter 30
The following evening, Ben and Lily were joined by the rest of the family, as well as Jake and Alex, as they all walked out to the lake shore.
Ben was pleased that Lily had offered to come out in the boat with him.
It had been a sad day but it had felt right to dedicate a few quieter moments in the graveyard earlier in the morning with his mum and sister.
And yet he still felt as if it hadn’t quite been enough to honour his dad and he was grateful for her company with the important task ahead.
Night had now fallen and it was dark enough for them to head out into the middle of the lake.
‘This boat’s not going to sink, is it?’ asked Lily, as she swung a leg over to climb into the rowing boat.
Ben shot her a grin as he sat down. ‘I’ve made triple sure,’ he said.
They settled into their seats and then picked up the oars.
‘I’m getting déjà vu,’ he heard Lily mutter as they began to row their way away from the pier and out onto the water.
They nodded at the family and set off at a slow but steady pace.
It was cooler once they were on the open water, a gentle breeze wafting across the water which seemed darker without the warmth of the day.
The overhead sky was clear and dotted with stars and the moon had just appeared above the trees to cast a light upon them as they made their journey to the centre of the lake.
Once they were in the middle of the water, they both stopped rowing and let the boat bob up and down for a while.
Glancing over to the pier, Ben could see his family waiting on the dock, huddled together with his friends. Jake had his arm around Faye whilst Alex was holding Hannah. His grandparents had locked arms together and their heads were close to each other’s, along with Frankie who was next to them.
Ben then looked at Lily, who had picked up the wicker basket. It was only then that he noticed the short, coloured candle inside.
‘I chose blue,’ she told him.
‘Dad’s favourite colour,’ he replied, looking up at her in surprise.
She nodded. ‘That’s what your mum told me.’
They locked eyes for a moment before he brought out the lighter that he had hidden inside his coat. Lily held out the wicker basket and he flicked the switch to light the long wick. The flame took hold and fluttered in the gentle breeze.
‘Do you want to place it in the water?’ she asked him.
Ben shook his head. He felt very emotional suddenly and didn’t want his hands to shake and drown the candle before it had achieved its purpose.
So Lily gave him a small smile of understanding and leant over to place the basket on top of the water. Ben held on to the sides of the boat to steady it as she straightened up. And then, with a gentle push with her fingers, the basket began to drift away from them across the water.
Ben hadn’t known what to expect with regard to his feelings. His main concern had been that he might not feel anything at all.
But there, on the lake, with the reflected lights from inside the hotel glinting across the rippled water, he felt almost overwhelmed with emotion. He would have loved to have seen his dad again in that moment. But perhaps the lantern was enough, he thought.
‘It feels like he’s with us again,’ he found himself blurting out. ‘Wishing us and the hotel on.’
Lily took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently. Without a second thought, he leant his head on her shoulder and she drew her arm around him to hold him.
He savoured her support and strength as they sat there, looking at the flickering light as it bobbed across the lake towards the other shore.
Then, just as the flame began to fade, Ben lifted his head to look at Lily. Her face was so close to his now and it seemed the most natural thing in the world in that moment to lean forward and kiss her gently on the cheek.
‘Thank you,’ he murmured.
It wasn’t a kiss of passion. It was a kiss of friendship, of support and of family love. He knew deep down that she knew that because when he drew back her eyes were glistening with tears along with his.
‘Are you OK?’ she asked softly.
He nodded, glancing once more at the lantern. The light was almost out now and they watched it in silence as the flame flickered one more time before disappearing altogether.
They sat silently for a few more moments and he was grateful that she allowed him to mourn and grieve in his own time.
Finally, when he was ready, he looked at her. ‘Shall we go back?’ he asked.
She looked across to where the family were still waiting for them on the dock and nodded.
Ben glanced once more at the basket which had disappeared into the night. His grandad had reassured him that the temporary netting he had put up underneath the wooden bridge would catch the basket before it headed downstream.
He glanced at the heavens above, nodding at the moon and stars before turning the boat around to start rowing back to the dock.
When they had climbed back out of the boat, the family embraced, with Lily standing nearby with Frankie and his friends.
And yet Ben couldn’t help but feel that it was because of her that he felt a little more at peace, a little more grateful for the moment of remembrance that evening. Once more, he was glad that she had stayed on with them at the hotel for the past few weeks.
The trouble was that he was beginning to secretly wish that she could stay on once the hotel was open again. He was getting used to having her around, needing both her support and craving her company.
But it wasn’t as friends that he wanted. He realised in that moment that he was beginning to really care for her.