Chapter 49
‘Is that everything?’
Lily looked at Hannah’s miserable expression and inwardly sighed, desperately trying not to show her own shaky emotion in return.
It had been three days since her meeting with Maisie. Three days of realising that her ultimate dream was coming true. Three days of packing up her own stuff and facing up to the fact that she was going to leave Maple Tree Lodge.
‘I think so,’ said Lily, handing the last bag to Dodgy Del, who was taking her into London.
She should be excited, she reminded herself. Her career was turning out just as she had always wanted. She would get the partnership she had always dreamed of, based in the capital where the majority of Maisie’s contacts were.
Lily would be staying with Maisie temporarily until she set up her own place. They were going to search for an office to base themselves in. The future was looking bright. So why wasn’t she feeling happy?
It was just nerves, she told herself.
She looked at Hannah and gave her a warm hug. ‘I’m going to come back at the weekends when I can,’ she promised her. ‘Although I’ll be busy for the first couple of weeks setting everything up…’
Hannah nodded, still looking upset.
‘It won’t be like it was before,’ Lily told her. ‘I promise.’
She had her best friends now and they were closer than ever. She wasn’t going to lose all that she had built up with them over the winter.
‘And I will come back to see you,’ she carried on. ‘All of you.’
Her voice broke a little on the last word as she glanced around once more but Ben was nowhere to be seen.
There had been no more kisses since she had told him about her trip to London. No more of the joy of being wrapped in his arms. Just stilted conversation about work and long silences. It had been wretched and she hadn’t slept well for the past three nights.
She couldn’t blame him. He needed to protect himself from hurt, something she knew all about. And yet she missed him so much already that she ached inside.
Dotty was looking tearful as she hugged Lily goodbye.
‘We shall miss you,’ said Dotty, in a tremulous voice.
‘She’s coming back to visit us, isn’t she?’ said Walter. But even his usual bluster couldn’t hide the emotion in his voice. ‘Hannah says she’s invited her for Easter.’
‘Of course I’m coming back to visit,’ Lily assured them, nodding. ‘Just try and keep me away!’
But the truth was that she wasn’t sure that she could handle coming back on an infrequent basis. The goodbyes were much harder than anything she had ever endured. And then there was Ben to face over and over.
This was why she had never allowed anyone to get too close to her, she reminded herself. This was what she had been avoiding all these years. The hurt and pain that she felt in her heart at that moment.
‘You’ve got your hotel, haven’t you?’ asked Walter, sounding gruff.
Lily nodded. ‘The doll’s house is safely wrapped up on the back seat.’
Walter gave a shrug. ‘Something for you to remember us by,’ he muttered.
‘I’ll never forget you, Walter.’ She stepped forward to give him a hug.
As she stepped back, he told her, ‘Remember, we made it together, me and Ben.’ He fixed her with fierce grey eyes and she nodded in understanding. It was Ben’s gift to her as well.
She gulped away the tears as Faye gave her an enormous bear hug.
‘Don’t work too hard and please come back and see us,’ she whispered.
‘Of course,’ replied Lily, holding her close.
Last, there was only Ben, who had finally appeared to head over towards the taxi. They stood awkwardly in silence for a few moments as the rest of the family discreetly stepped away.
Not known for his tact, Dodgy Del looked between them and, with a small shake of his head, got into the driving seat of the taxi to wait for her.
‘Well, I’ll let you know my new address just as soon as I’ve got the full details,’ said Lily, in a bright tone. ‘In case there’s any problems back here there’s a checklist under the counter of the reception desk.’
‘I saw it, thanks. But I’m sure we’ll be fine,’ he told her.
‘Well, just in case, I’m always happy to help with any queries.’ Lily avoided his eyes and glanced up at the hotel. But even that didn’t make her feel better. If anything, it just reminded her how lovely the place was and how much she would miss it.
But she was being foolish, she reminded herself. It was all about following her dream career.
Ben suddenly spoke again. ‘Thank you.’
‘For what?’ she asked, as she turned her gaze back onto him.
‘For doing this all of this for my family,’ he told her.
She found she was shaking her head. ‘I did it for me, to be honest.’ She hesitated before adding, ‘And I did it for you too.’
He took a sharp intake of breath before they allowed themselves the luxury of one last hug. With a shaky sigh, she finally drew back.
‘I’ll miss you,’ she blurted out.
His eyes widened a little before becoming dark once more. ‘Me too,’ he replied. ‘But you’re planning on coming back soon, right?’
She accepted the lie gratefully even though neither of them believed it.
‘Just as soon as I’m settled. Well, I’ll see you soon,’ she said, her voice husky with emotion.
‘See you soon,’ he told her.
She glanced up at him, hating that she was the cause of the pain in his eyes. She wanted to say more, much more, but what was the point? She had to go. It was what she had always wanted, after all.
With a heavy sigh, she turned away and got into the passenger seat next to Del.
‘Ready?’ Del asked, looking at her.
The emotions bubbled up in her throat, leaving it feeling thick so she merely nodded her head before buckling up her seat belt. Then the car moved forward.
She saw the others waving at her then, with one last glance at Ben, the car swung around and she could only see him in the door mirror getting smaller and smaller.
A tear trickled down her cheek which she immediately brushed away.
‘It’s your dream,’ she remembered Ben saying. ‘I understand. I really do.’
It was her dream, she reminded herself as the tears pricked her eyes. So why didn’t it feel right? Why did it feel so horribly wrong instead?