Chapter Fourteen
The church was looking its very best, the pews gleaming with polish and the altar banked with white roses and gardenias, their sweet fragrance filling the air.
The bells in the tower were ringing out into the clear blue sky, the afternoon sun was beaming through the stained-glass windows casting jewel colours across the white altar cloth, and the soft music of the organ was drifting up to the vaulted ceiling.
The pews were full.
Cassie had settled with Lisa near the front, Lisa with little Kyra on her lap.
The tot looked as pretty as a picture in a dainty pink dress, with a pink headband that sported a pink fabric flower.
“I just hope she stays this quiet,” Lisa murmured.
“If she starts grizzling I’ll have to take her outside.”
“Vicky and Tom won’t mind if she cries,” Cassie assured her.
“Anyway, she’s been fed and nappied — she’ll probably fall asleep. Has Ollie got his Best Man speech ready?”
Her sister laughed softly.
“He’s rewritten it about twenty times. I’ve never known him be so nervous — not even when we got married.”
Their mother turned from the pew in front.
“When you got married, he was so hungover from getting drunk with Tom and Paul the night before, he didn’t know what day of the week it was,” she remarked dryly.
“And you weren’t in a much better state yourself.”
“Oh dear.” Lisa hunched her shoulders and slid down in the pew.
“I hoped you wouldn’t remember that.”
“I’m your mother — I remember everything. As your two will find out as time goes on.”
Cassie’s eyes danced.
“Didn’t you say something once about being respectable?” she whispered.
“That was eight years ago.”
A murmur ran around the pews as the organist began playing the familiar strains of ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’, and heads turned as the bridal party appeared in the church doorway.
Vicky looked as graceful and serene as a swan on her stepfather’s arm as they moved slowly down the aisle.
“Ah, she looks lovely,” Lisa murmured, leaning close to Cassie.
“It really is a gorgeous dress.”
“It is.”
Tom turned, his smile lighting up his handsome face as he held out his hand to his bride.
The two of them drew together, gazing into each other’s eyes, seemingly oblivious of everyone and everything around them.
Eva moved in front of the altar.
“Dear friends and family, we welcome you today to witness and celebrate the marriage of Victoria and Thomas.”
Cassie glanced across the aisle.
Liam was sitting a few rows in front of her, little Robyn tucked in close to him.
His pale-grey jacket was immaculately tailored over his wide shoulders, his dark hair curled over his ears, the way it always had, always tempting her to tuck it back.
Riding with him on Thursday had brought back so many memories of riding with him ten years ago.
That summer they had ridden almost every day.
Had the sun really always shone?
Or was it just that she had been in love?
So many memories.
Her mind drifted back .
.
.
The night of her eighteenth birthday party .
.
.
* * *
It was Saturday night.
Her birthday had been on Wednesday, but you couldn’t have a decent party on a Wednesday, could you?
And it was a great party.
Several of Paul’s football teammates were there, much to the delight of some of her friends from school who were flirting wildly with them.
Lisa and her fiancé were there, with some of his friends from the hospital where he was on his final-year placement.
She had been dancing with Liam for most of the evening, though occasionally they had both danced with other people.
She was jiving — of a sort, given the crowd — with Terry, the team’s tall black goalie, when someone grabbed her arm.
“Hey, Cass. Got any more cans? We’re running short of beer here.”
“Oh, right. There’s loads in the kitchen. I’ll go and get some. ’Scuse me, Tel.”
She slipped away to the kitchen, blinking in the bright light after the dimmed lighting in the sitting room.
There were already two black bin bags full of empty cans, but there were still more than a dozen two-four cases on the table, and she hoisted one up into her arms.
“Need a hand with that?”
She turned in surprise.
She hadn’t seen Bill, who worked up at the Cullen farm, sitting on the back step.
“What are you doing out here by yourself?”
He grinned sheepishly.
“Oh . . . I . . . It’s a bit crowded. I . . .”
“Why don’t you go and ask Debbie to dance?”
His ears went red.
“She’s dancing with Alan Gowan.”
“Well go and cut in,” she urged.
He shook his head.
“I couldn’t. I . . . If she wants to dance with him . . .”
She gave him an encouraging smile.
“I think she’d rather dance with you.”
He looked down at his hands — big, work-roughened hands.
“I don’t think so. Anyway, I can’t dance. I’m too clumsy. I’d just tramp on her toes.”
Cassie sighed.
Poor Bill — he was cripplingly shy.
It must have taken all of Tom Cullen’s best efforts to drag him along to the party.
He’d have been happier to stay up at the farm with his cows.
Giving up on a bad job, she left him to himself and headed back into the party.
“Ah, here’s the girl with the gear.” Liam’s older brother Luke swooped on her and took the cans of beer.
“Thank you, darling. You’re a lifesaver.” He dropped a kiss on her cheek and disappeared into the crowd.
Cassie glanced around the room.
It was heaving with her friends.
All the usual crowd.
People she had known all her life, in this tiny seaside town.
She loved it all, but .
.
.
Surely there was more to find in the world than this?
“Ah, there you are.” Liam dropped an arm around her shoulders and drew her close.
“I was just getting some more beer.”
“Good thinking. But come and have a dance now.”
She shook her head, fanning her face with her hand.
“It’s too hot in there.”
“Come for a walk then.”
“I can’t do that,” she protested.
“It’s my party.”
“It’s your party, so you can do whatever you like.”
He took her hand and drew her out to the front door.
Laughing, she let him lead her across the road and down to the beach.
It was a beautiful night.
The sky was velvet black, scattered with stars like a million diamonds.
The moon was almost full, shining like silver on the dark, tranquil water of the bay.
Tiny waves whispered along the edge of the sand, unfurling in long strands of lacy white foam.
“I love this place,” she murmured.
“Good.” He glanced down at her, a question in his dark eyes.
“I sometimes wonder . . .”
“What?”
He smiled, shaking his head.
“Never mind.”
They slipped their shoes off and strolled along the beach.
Cassie felt the sand crunch beneath her feet, and the soft breeze from the sea stir her long hair.
“It’s weird to think that this is my last term at school. Once my A levels are over I’ll be leaving! And you’ll be finishing too, and you’ll be a qualified vet!” She skipped along beside him.
“Freedom! Isn’t it great?”
He laughed.
“Then come September, we’ll both be in Exeter.” He caught her hands and spun her round, dancing in the sand.
“It’ll be so much easier to see each other than with me up in Bristol.”
“Mmm.”
It was ten weeks now since they had got together at Lisa’s party, and they had seen each other almost every weekend, when Liam had come home to Sturcombe.
It still sometimes seemed unreal that she was his girlfriend — it had been her dream since she was fourteen years old.
But there was still that other dream, of flying away, far away over the ocean, seeing all those other parts of the world that she had only seen in books or on television, or on the illuminated globe on her bedside table.
That was a scary dream, but it fizzed inside her, unsettling her every time she thought of a future here in Sturcombe, with Liam.
She didn’t want to leave him, and now she clung to his hand with both of hers as they scrambled over the jumble of rocks at the far end of the beach beneath the hotel.
There was a tiny patch of sand, hidden from anywhere but directly out to sea.
They had often come down here to spend time alone, to swim, to enjoy a picnic, or just to laze in the sunshine and enjoy long, slow, warm kisses.
They sat down, Cassie snuggled between Liam’s legs, his arms wrapped around her from behind.
She tipped her head back against his shoulder.
“Look at all those stars. Aren’t they beautiful? There must be a million trillion of them.”
Liam laughed softly and kissed her ear.
“At least.”
“And the sea. Isn’t it amazing to think that far out there over the horizon it goes on and on, down past Africa and Australia and the Antarctic, and all the way over to America. Do you know, the Pacific is so big that there’s a place on the west coast of South America where, if you could poke a stick right through the centre of the earth, it would come up on the far side still in the ocean — in the Gulf of Tonkin, near Vietnam.”
“That’s wild.”
“And just think, these little waves here — in a few weeks they could be lapping the shores of Fiji or Patagonia.” She gazed out into the far distance, as if she could see it all just by imagining it.
“Let’s go for a paddle.” She scrambled to her feet and gathered up her long skirt.
“Come on!”
“It’ll be cold,” he warned her, but as she ran down to the water’s edge he was right beside her, his jeans rolled up.
Hand in hand they splashed into the waves.
Cassie squealed.
“Yikes! It’s freeeeezing !”
“I told you so.”
Hopping from one foot to the other she gasped for breath.
“I can’t . . . believe . . . how cold it is.”
“It’s almost one o’clock in the morning, and it’s still May,” he reminded her.
“Of course it’s cold.”
“Okay, okay. You were right.” Laughing, she ran back up the beach and threw herself down in the sand.
“I think my toes have got frostbite.”
Laughing with her, he knelt and picked up one foot, rubbing it to massage warmth back into it.
“Mmm.” She lay back with a sigh of pure bliss.
“That feels good.”
He picked up her other foot, his dark eyes glinting as his hand slid along her calf.
And further, up her smooth thigh.
As he laid down beside her, she turned into his arms and their lips met, and lingered, long and sweet.
His skin smelled of sandalwood and the sea.
She moaned softly and moved against him, his name soft on her lips.
Any other dreams had been forgotten — this was the only dream she wanted.
Her pulse was racing as his hands stroked up over her waist and round to the firm swell of her breast.
He was dusting tender kisses over her trembling eyelids, across her temple and over the delicate shell of her ear.
She could hear the ragged drag of his breathing, feel the powerful thump of his heartbeat.
These past few weeks their kisses had been growing hotter, more urgent, but they had always stepped back from the brink.
But tonight, as if through some unspoken agreement, they both knew it would be different — something had changed, clicked into place.
Maybe because she had turned eighteen, would soon be leaving school.
She was no longer a child.
He undressed her slowly, his hand smooth over her skin.
Overhead the stars were spinning as time drifted away like the ripples of the sea.
In all her dreams she had never imagined it could be like this.
His head bent over hers as he kissed her again, his sensuous tongue swirling deep into her mouth.
She curved her body close against his, wrapping her arms around him.
She hadn’t even noticed that he had shed his own clothes until she felt the rasp of his hair-roughened chest against her naked breasts.
She moaned softly, revelling in the movement of the hard muscles across his shoulders and down his back.
His hand slid down between her thighs, seeking the sweetest, most secret caresses.
And then he moved above her, and with a hand that shook slightly he brushed her hair back from her face.
“Cassie?” His voice was a husky growl.
“Is this right?”
“Yes.” It was no more than a sigh.
“Oh yes please.”
She was vaguely aware that he had slid open a small foil pack, and then there was nothing but a golden flow of pleasure that seemed to melt her bones.
Time slipped away as their sensuous dance echoed the hushed whisper of the sea lapping against the moon-silvered sand, and she felt herself soaring, soaring, over the edge of the world, to collapse at last wrapped up in his arms .
.
.
* * *
A sharp nudge from her sister brought Cassie abruptly back to her surroundings.
The organist was playing ‘Unchained Melody’ as the bride and groom walked back down the aisle, followed by their bridesmaids — Vicky’s stepsister and two little cousins in pale tangerine dresses — and both sets of parents.
How had she paid so little attention to the ceremony?
She must have been on autopilot, standing and sitting with the rest of the congregation, probably even singing along to the hymns.
Fortunately, no one seemed to have noticed her distraction.
Her heart was still beating a little too fast as the vestiges of those memories lingered in her brain, but she managed to get to her feet.
Then as she stepped out of the pew, she came face to face with Liam.
“Oh . . . Hi.” Somehow she forced a smile.
Past and present swirled together.
She had to struggle to remind herself that it had been ten years, not just a few moments ago, that she had lain in his arms on that moonlit beach.
“Hello.”
His smile was friendly, polite.
She had almost been afraid that he would see in her eyes where she had been for the past three-quarters of an hour.
She hesitated, trying to think of something to say, but there was the pressure of people behind them wanting to get past and out to the front of the church, where photographs were being taken.
“Oh . . . Sorry.” Liam moved out of their way, falling into step with his brother and sister-in-law, holding Robyn’s hand.
“See you later,” he added to Cassie over his shoulder.
“Yes . . .”
Outside, the golden September sun was shining through the trees — already the leaves were starting to shade into their autumn colours.
Vicky was laughing merrily as the photographer herded the wedding party into the line-up.
The two young bridesmaids were dancing, swirling the skirts of their lovely dresses.
“Auntie Cassie!” Robyn came running over to her.
“Wasn’t that pretty?”
“Yes, it was.” She smiled down at the excited child.
“And you were very good. I saw you sitting with your daddy and Auntie Julia.”
“I drawed Auntie Vicky and Uncle Tom. And I had lots of sweeties,” she added, leaning in to whisper as if it was a guilty secret.
“I just bet you did! And I expect you’ll want lots of wedding cake when we get down to the hotel.”
The child giggled, her eyes wide.
“Lots and lots!” Then she spotted her best friend Amy and hurtled over to hug her.
After sitting still in the church for almost an hour, it wasn’t surprising that the young contingent needed to let off steam, playing chase around the graveyard and kicking up the leaves that were already beginning to fall.
A few of the adults glanced anxiously at Eva to see if she would scold them, but she just laughed.
“Let them play. They’ve been as good as gold, and I don’t suppose the occupants of the graves will object.”
It was a lovely setting for the wedding photographs — the ancient grey stone touched by the golden afternoon sunlight, the soft shadows of the trees.
The churchyard was filled with wild flowers — Eva only had narrow paths mowed between the graves, letting nature flourish.
The photographer was very good at her job, efficiently marshalling everyone into various groups while keeping up a flow of casual chat to maintain a relaxed atmosphere.
There was a good deal of laughter, especially among the men, teasing each other with cheerful insults: “Stick him at the back. That ugly mug’ll crack your lens.”
Cassie had posed with Vicky, Lisa, Debbie and a few other female friends, and also in the large group with all the guests together.
She stood watching for a while, then slipped away to stroll over to Nanna’s grave.
The headstone had been removed by the stonemason to add her name to that of her beloved husband.
The coral bells and bee balm that they had planted after her funeral had begun to settle in and would thrive there for years to come.
As she stooped to pull out a stray weed a shadow fell beside her.
She didn’t need to look up to know who it was.
Liam.
“Hi. I thought you might be over here.”
“Yes.” She managed an awkward smile.
“It looks odd without the headstone, but they’ll be putting it back in a week or so.”
“It must be strange without her. She’ll have left a big hole.”
“Yes. We keep saying we’ll make a start on sorting out her stuff, taking it up to one of the charity shops, but somehow we haven’t managed to get round to it yet. I think we’re all thinking that she’ll come in and tell us off for messing with her things!”
He laughed.
“I can imagine. She was never going to be one to go gentle into that good night.”
“No.” She tugged at another errant weed.
“But in the end, she did. She was smiling.”
“I see she’s next door but one to Molly Marston. Bit risky, putting those two old birds so close together. They’ll be biting chunks out of each other for the rest of eternity!”
“And enjoying every minute of it . . .” She glanced up as Vicky and Tom came over, holding hands, Vicky holding up the train of her dress out of the long grass.
“Hello.” Vicky’s smile was as bright as a thousand suns.
“We just came over to say hello and thank you to Aunt Molly.” She glanced up at her new husband, her eyes shining.
“If it hadn’t been for her, we’d never have met.”
There it was again, that look of love that passed between them.
Vicky hunkered down beside Molly’s grave, pulled a white rose out of her bouquet, and laid it beside the gravestone.
“Thank you, Molly.”
The four of them stood for a moment in silence, then Vicky smiled up at Tom.
“We’d better be going.” With a last glance at Molly’s grave she turned away.
“Shall we go?” Liam suggested.
“Oh . . . Yes, of course.” Something twisted in her heart.
For one moment she found herself wishing that she and Liam could be like Vicky and Tom.
So in love .
.
.
Afraid that she might blurt out something stupid, she excused herself quickly and hurried over to rejoin Lisa and the family.
Vicky and Tom had been driven off in a classic Beauford open-topped tourer, and everyone else followed them on foot down the short walk to the hotel.
The whole place had been transformed into a flower palace with tubs of white roses and blush-orange roses, canna lilies, myrtle and lily of the valley, their sweet scent filling the air.
Out on the terrace the photographer was doing her thing again, ushering all the family and friends into their places for more formal shots, while white-coated staff moved discreetly among the guests with trays of champagne flutes and canapes.
There were more photographs to be taken.
Cassie found herself corralled into a large group photo.
The children were ranged along the front.
Robyn was with Liam and his parents, but spotting Cassie, she scampered along to stand with her, turning her angel face to beam up at her.
Cassie smiled and patted her shoulder, then slanted a rather awkward glance of apology towards Liam.
He just rolled his eyes, laughing.
That was a relief.
She guessed that little Robyn often latched onto random adults, as many five-year-olds might do.
“Okay, everyone. That’ll do.” The photographer lowered her camera.
“Thank you very much.”
“Time to toss the bouquet, Vicky!” someone called.
“Phew!” Lisa smiled with relief.
“At last we can sit down. I knew I shouldn’t have worn these shoes.”
Cassie turned to her, laughing.
“Never mind, you can—” Something hit her in the chest.
Instinctively she put up her hands, and found herself clutching the bridal bouquet.
As a cheer rose up, she felt her cheeks flame scarlet.
Unfortunately, the stone terrace wasn’t going to open up beneath her feet, so she could only smile as if she was sharing the joke.
She knew exactly where Liam was, so she was able to avoid looking in his direction.
“Well, well!” Lisa chuckled.
“That means you’re the next bride.”
“Huh!” She shook her head decisively.
“Not gonna happen.”
Lisa’s eyes danced.
“Never say never.”
“Huh!”
* * *
With the photographs finished, there was time to mingle on the terrace.
Everyone stood sipping champagne in the late afternoon sunshine.
Time for games — quoits and skittles and giant Jenga for the adults, a treasure hunt in the gardens for the children.
Liam perched on the stone balustrade, watching the fun down among the flowering shrubs and the gravel paths.
Robyn had dragged Cassie in to help, and was clinging to her hand or her skirt as they followed the clues.
That was a worry.
The little girl was getting very fond of her — she was going to be upset when she left.
But it would only be worse if he let himself be drawn into getting closer to her himself, he reminded himself brusquely.
He needed to be careful.
“She’s very attractive.”
“Huh?”
His sister-in-law was smiling at him.
“Cassie Channing. Not exactly beautiful, perhaps, but there’s something about her.”
“Mmm.”
“Luke said you used to have a thing with her.”
“A thing? Yes, well . . .” He managed to keep his voice even.
“That was a long time ago. We were both young.”
“Robyn seems to have taken to her.”
“Unfortunately.”
Julia arched a questioning eyebrow.
“Why unfortunately?”
“Because she won’t be staying.”
“Did she tell you that?”
“She didn’t need to tell me, not in so many words.” It had been in her eyes, in the tone of her voice when she had been talking about her adventures.
What had Sturcombe to offer in comparison to that?
“You could be wrong.”
“I’m not wrong. Leave it, Julia,” he added sharply as she opened her mouth to argue with him.
“She won’t be staying.”
The children had finished their treasure hunt.
Little Amy had won, and was thrilled with her prize — a big jigsaw of Frozen.
Robyn came running back to him, her rosy face full of disappointment.
“I came second, Daddy.”
“Well, that’s pretty good. And Amy is your best friend, so you’re very happy for her that she won, aren’t you?”
A brief second, then the child’s bright smile beamed out.
“Yes I am!” She scrambled over to where Amy was showing her prize to her mother, and the two of them hugged.
Liam breathed a sigh of relief.
He had sworn to himself at Natalie’s funeral that he would do his very best to bring up a child she would be proud of, and sometimes he worried that, loving her so much, he risked spoiling her and bringing up a monster instead.
But then the sweetness of Natalie’s nature would shine through in her, and he would have to smile.
* * *
The seating plan for the wedding breakfast had been set up on a large easel in the ballroom.
Each group was represented by a flower — a white rose, a sunflower, an orange dahlia — to match the centrepiece on each allotted table.
“That’s clever,” Cassie murmured to Lisa as they found their places.
“Who thought of it?”
“Vicky. I wish I’d thought of it for ours. We just had pictures of birds.”
“Birds are nice. So long as they don’t poop on the table.”
Lisa laughed and punched her sister lightly on the shoulder.
“You’re so unromantic.”
“That’s me.”
The children had been shepherded away to their own party table in the lounge, where they would have their own food and a hired entertainer, so they wouldn’t be bored by adult conversation and speeches.
The adults found their tables and sat down.
Cassie was relieved to find that Liam was three tables away.
She wasn’t sure that she could cope with being close to him for what was likely to be a couple of hours.
“Wow, this looks lovely,” Lisa declared as she took her seat.
“It does. Your people have done a great job again.”
The tables looked beautiful, with crisp white tablecloths and gold-edged white china, gleaming crystal champagne flutes and silver cutlery.
Their centrepiece was a vase of blush-orange roses in sprays of asparagus fern.
“Has Kyra settled okay?” Cassie asked.
“Uh-huh. She’s had her feed and nappy change, now she’s asleep. Shelley’s babysitting.”
“That’s kind of her.”
Lisa nodded.
“She’s a good kid. Well, I say kid — she’s twenty-four.”
“Really?” Cassie’s eyes widened in surprise.
“She looks about seventeen.”
“I know. There’s not much of her, but she’s a good worker. She’s had a heck of a life.” She cracked open a bread roll and began spreading it with butter.
“Grew up in care — had a whole string of foster homes. And she’s been homeless, actually slept on the streets for a while. Heaven only knows what she had to do to survive.”
“Poor thing,” Cassie murmured with sympathy.
“It’s good that she’s been able to find herself a place here. How long has she worked here?”
“Almost three years. When she first arrived she wouldn’t say boo to a goose, but she’s a lot more confident now. I’ve been trying to persuade her to give it a go on Reception, but she’s not interested. Or so she says.”
Cassie slanted her a questioning glance, but at that moment their starters arrived, and she was able to focus on her plate.
The food was excellent.
A starter of melon with feta cheese and lemon dressing was followed by tenderloin of lamb with chargrilled vegetables.
“Oooh!” Lisa sat back with a sigh.
“I don’t think I can eat another thing.”
Cassie laughed.
“I bet you will when you see the desserts. Anyway, we’ve got the speeches first.”
“Ah, I might be able to manage something then. If I’m still awake.”
The speeches were more fun than they had feared.
Vicky’s stepfather spoke about how happy he had been when marrying Vicky’s mother had brought a lovely new daughter into his life.
“Her mother has always advised her to be sensible — and what could be more sensible than marrying such a lovely young man as Tom?”
Vicky’s mum blushed, smiling sheepishly at her new son-in-law.
Ollie’s Best Man’s speech raised a lot of laughter, roasting his cousin with a story about him slipping in a pile of cow manure when he was due to meet a representative of the bank to discuss a commercial loan for setting up his organic feed company.
“And of course, she arrived early, so if he had been hoping his magnetic charm would swing the deal . . .”
After the speeches it was time to cut the cake.
It was a splendid creation of three tiers of smooth white icing with a cascade of white and blush-orange sugar flowers down one side.
The photographer captured the moment perfectly.
Lisa found that she could somehow make room for a crème br?lée with raspberry tuile.
Cassie chose waffles with summer fruits and clotted cream.
“Mmm.” Lisa leaned back in her seat with a contented sigh.
“That was good.”
Cassie laughed.
“I didn’t think you’d be able to resist.”
She had been careful during the meal to avoid glancing in Liam’s direction — well, apart from the occasional glance.
Certainly no more than every five minutes.
Mostly.
He was sitting with Debbie and Bill, newly returned from their honeymoon and both looking radiant with happiness.
Debbie, usually so shy, was chattering away, her eyes bright, while Bill gazed down at her adoringly.
Liam seemed to be enjoying himself.
If she occasionally caught him glancing in her direction, she looked away quickly.
The memories that had filled her mind during the wedding service had left her feeling .
.
.
unsettled.
Every time she thought the balance between staying and going was tipping firmly in one direction, something would happen to tip it back again.