Chapter 5 #2
“Actually, I meant in our lives. Wade hid it until we were married, but he didn’t want a modern woman at his side. Turned out the thing he liked best about me was my roots. He thought he was getting a sweet, country girl who would dote on him without questioning a thing he did.”
Zane’s jaw clenched. “Anyone who’s been around you for more than five minutes should know you can’t be bossed around.”
And that’s one of the things I loved about this man. He knew me.
“Yeah. I don’t take orders well, do I?”
“Nope. You gotta be in charge.” His eyes softened as he studied me, like that little fact delighted him.
Being with Zane wouldn’t be like that. He might be an alpha kind of guy, but he also listened to reason and knew when to give some ground.
“He never cheated, that I know of, but we divorced in our hearts years before we signed the papers.” Then I admitted something I hadn’t even told Kelly. “We had a dead bedroom. I haven’t had sex in four years.”
Zane blew out a breath. “Damn, girl. That guy did everything wrong.”
“Was it like that with you and Tina?”
He furrowed his brow, and I got the sense he chose his next words carefully. “Tina and I got along better than that. We weren’t married long, but when we divorced, there was still some fondness sitting between us.”
I liked that for him.
“Well, I wish I could say the same. My divorce got nasty. My advice, don’t ever marry a lawyer. He got everything. Even my dog.” My voice caught slightly on that last part.
Anger flashed across Zane’s face. The first time I’d ever seen him get riled up. “He took your dog?”
One tiny tear slipped down my cheek. “Yeah. Quincy is my little darling. A tiny French bulldog we got a year before we split up. But Wade paid for him and had the receipts to prove it. He demanded ownership and… the divorce judge sided with him.”
Then I confessed the part that hurt worst. “Wade didn’t even like Quincy. He just knew it would hurt me if he took him.”
“What kind of asshole steals a woman’s dog?” he growled out, a storm brewing behind his eyes.
Wiping at my cheek, I told him, “Look at me ruining this perfect picnic lunch you set up for us. I don’t want to talk about Wade anymore. He’s in the past.”
But Zane’s jaw tightened, and his eyes went dark and serious. “I’ll get your dog for you.”
I laughed despite myself, warmth flooding through me at his show of loyalty. Zane was a thousand times the man Wade could ever be. He’d never steal a woman’s dog.
But maybe he would steal one for a woman.
I grinned and kissed him on the cheek. “You would too. If you showed up in Chicago, every man there would go running from you.”
“You’d probably make him piss his pants.” I pictured Wade in his expensive suit coming face to face with a six-foot-four mountain of a man built like a stone wall. Zane would literally crush him in seconds.
Zane’s mouth curved, slow and satisfied. “I’ll do it,” he rumbled. “I’ll get your dog.”
“Don’t get arrested on my account. I know he won’t abuse Quincy.
He’ll probably give him away as a gift to his next girlfriend.
He always thought the dog was an expensive accessory.
Something to show off his wealth. Quincy cost over six thousand dollars.
Stealing him would be a felony. You just keep that in mind. ”
Zane rumbled, “That’s more than a cow costs!”
“Yeah. It sure is.”
Our laughter faded into comfortable quiet.
“What happened with Tina?” I asked.
He considered the question without any apparent discomfort. “We ended fine. Still friendly enough when we cross paths.” He was quiet for a moment. “She always said I held too much of myself back.”
I looked at him. “Did you?”
“Yeah,” he said it without hesitation. “I wasn’t in love with her.”
The honesty of it settled in the air between us.
“Have you ever been in love?” I felt my face go warm as I realized what I’d asked, but I held his gaze.
His eyes moved to mine and stayed there, deep and unhurried, and the look in them made my pulse climb.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “But she moved away. She had bigger plans than this little town.”
The air went out of me slowly.
I stared at him and felt something enormous and aching open up in the middle of my chest. “That woman must have been a fool,” I said, and my voice came out softer than I intended.
The corner of his mouth lifted into a slow, wide grin that I felt all the way down to my toes. “Maybe she was,” he rumbled quietly. “But there’s still time for her to wise up.”
He held my eyes for one long, charged moment, and I felt a kiss hanging there between us.
Was it possible?
Could he be talking about me?
But right then, a tiny drop of rain landed on my shoulder.
I ignored it, hoping it was a stray drop from the sky and not a sign that we were about to be rained out.
All I wanted was for this perfect day with Zane to last forever.
Then another drop fell. This time on his cheek. I watched Zane wipe it away, his eyes still trained on mine, hunger and hope and fear all mingled together in a swirling stack of emotion.
But mother nature had other ideas. The skies opened up, gentle rain falling down on us.
We glanced up. The blue sky and white clouds had been replaced, everything muted to a light gray tone.
“Oh, no,” I murmured.
But when our eyes met again, Zane didn’t look upset. That same warmth I’d seen looking back at me all day long was still there on his face.
He stood and held out his hand to help me up. “Let’s head to the barn before we get soaked.”
It was closer than the house. I glanced over at it, and a moment later Zane’s rough hand slid into mine, and then we were running and laughing like teenagers.
By the time we made it, we were thoroughly wet and caught up in a swirl of excitement.
He led me inside, leaving the doors open so we could watch the rain come down.
We stood there with our arms looped around each other’s waists as a spring rain drizzled before us. It was the most romantic moment of my life.
“Zane?” I asked before I could talk myself out of it.
“Yeah?” He looked down at me, the magic of today shining on his face.
“Did you ever think about… us?”
Pain hinted in his eyes, a deep melancholy that was only visible for a moment.
“Sure, I did.”
My heart trip-hammered in my chest. Hearing him admit so casually that he’d had feelings for me was making my mind spin.
“Why didn’t you ever ask me out?”
He turned to look at me, love shining on his face. “I always knew you were going to leave this place, Mallory. I couldn’t be the thing that held you back.”
And then it was just him and me, and the steady beat of rain on the old barn roof. I tipped my chin up, begging him to close the distance between us, a silent plea.
For a moment it seemed like he would.
His arms wrapped around me, pulling me close until we were holding each other tight.
Zane’s lips parted, heat and hunger evident in his eyes. But also the slow beat of love. Everything in him said if we made love right now, here in this barn, that’s what it would be.
Love.
His mouth dipped towards mine, and I rose to meet him, standing on my tippy-toes, but at the last moment he veered off, brushing his lips across my cheek.
Then he wrapped me in a hug so tight I could barely breathe.
“Why are you holding back?” I whispered. “We’re both single. We’re both adults. If you want me… I’m right here.”
But he didn’t take me there on the hay floor of the barn on a perfect rainy day deep in the Ozarks.
No.
After a few moments, he released me, stepping back, regret shining through his eyes.
“You’re leaving again, Mallory.”
“But—”
He ran his fingers through my hair, dropping a kiss on my forehead.
Then he said something that may have changed the course of my life. “I don’t want just a quick fuck with you, Mal.”
“I’m not talking about just a quick—”
But he put a finger to my lips, stopping the conversation in its tracks. And was he right? What did I want?
It was true.
I was planning on leaving.
So why did I feel so conflicted right now?
If Zane made love to me, what would it be like? When it came time to drive away from him?
And would I still want to leave after he’d held me in his arms?
Everything I wanted in life was thrown up in the air right now.
Could Red Oak Mountain be my future?
More importantly, did Zane love me enough to want me to stay for good?