Chapter Twenty-three
Razor entered Slugfest well before opening, carrying a greasy paper bag.
She knew Jimmy would be setting up for the day, and with time to kill before her first online panel, she decided to surprise him.
The weather was warm, the sky was clear, and she’d woken up to a text and a voicemail from Ashton saying she’d arrived in New York without issue.
She felt bad for sleeping through the notifications last night and not responding right away.
Practice had completely drained her, and she’d fallen into a deep slumber until her alarm went off at seven.
As soon as she listened to the message, she’d sent Ashton a quick text—Enjoy the conference—then headed out for the day.
Jimmy stood at the counter with his glasses pulled low on his nose and his hat turned backward as he went over the accounting of the previous day. She plopped the greasy bag down at the edge of the counter. He eyed it curiously, took a big sniff, and smiled.
“Is this what I think it is?”
“Yep. One breakfast burrito with extra bacon and cheese just for you.”
He ripped open the bag, snatched up the burrito, and took a huge bite over the spreadsheet.
“Hey, hey, hey”—Razor slid the papers out of range—“I don’t want to explain to the accountant why there’s cheese stains all over the tax forms…again.”
Jimmy shrugged and took another big bite and hummed his appreciation.
“That good, huh?”
“Mm-hmm.” He swallowed and cleared his throat. “By the way, you have a visitor.”
“A visitor?”
“Yeah, some girl. Says she knows you and needs to talk to you. I told her she could wait over at the snack bar.”
Razor turned and noticed the hunched figure with a black zip-up hoodie pulled over her head. She couldn’t make out who it was until the woman turned around. Razor gasped.
Summer.
She walked over. Summer’s appearance ratcheted up her concern. Dark circles were prominent under her eyes. Her hair looked ragged and was pulled up in a messy bun. She looked…lost.
“I’m sorry to show up unannounced. I just…I needed someone to talk to.”
Razor extended her arm in invitation. “Let’s go outside. Get some fresh air. Have you eaten yet?” Summer shook her head. “Well, I’ll split my breakfast with you.”
“I’m not that hungry.”
“Well, I am, but even I can’t finish an entire breakfast burrito on my own.”
They exited and made their way over to the exterior cages. They shone in the morning sun, having been scrubbed and washed last week. Razor led Summer to a pavilion in the center where a cluster of picnic tables gave clients a place to hang out between sessions.
Summer shielded her eyes against the sun and pulled her hoodie tighter around her body. Once seated, Razor unwrapped the burrito. Thankfully, the café always precut it into halves. She took one half and gave the other to Summer.
“It’s egg whites with roasted peppers, onions, and mushrooms. About as healthy as you can get with a burrito this big.”
Summer smiled weakly and arranged her grip around the stuffed tortilla.
“I haven’t had much of an appetite lately, so thank you.”
“Anytime.”
Razor dug in with gusto, starving after skipping dinner the night before.
Summer took smaller bites. They ate in silence, enjoying the breeze and the cloudless sky, and listened to the traffic passing on the highway.
After a couple more bites, Summer set the burrito down and slid it across the table.
“I’m sorry. I’m not that hungry.”
Razor set hers down and wiped the grease off her hands.
“It’s fine. What did you want to talk to me about?”
Summer took a deep breath. “First, I want to apologize for blowing up at you yesterday. I know you were just trying to help.”
“If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me.”
“You? Why?”
“I pushed you. You said everything was okay, and I should’ve left it at that.”
“Was it because my dad called you?”
Razor nodded. “He’s noticed a change in you, and to be honest I’ve noticed it as well. I think that’s why I kept pushing. I don’t like seeing my friends hurt, so I try to fix it.”
“While I appreciate your concern, you can’t fix this problem.”
“I know. I’m learning…I can’t fix all the bad things my friends are going through.” She ducked her head and caught Summer’s gaze. “But I can listen.”
Summer wiped away her tears. “I want to tell you, but I’m scared. To tell anyone, and…I feel so alone in this. Did you ever feel this way?”
“I did.”
“How did you get over it?”
This was Razor’s opening. And she took it.
“I came out to my mom when I was seventeen years old.”
Summer looked surprised. “How did she take it?”
“Interestingly is the best way to describe it.”
“Interestingly?”
Razor smiled, remembering how nerve-racking that day started, but it ended in one of the best hugs she’d ever gotten from her mom.
“The summer before I left for San Diego State, I knew there was a chance I could meet someone special, and most likely a woman. I didn’t want to hide a girlfriend from my mom because I knew I’d have to lie to her, and that would change our relationship in a way I wouldn’t settle for. ”
“What happened?”
“She cried,” Razor said. “Burst into tears right in front of me.”
Summer grasped Razor’s hand and fresh tears sprang to her eyes.
“Once she finished crying, she hugged me so tightly. Then she told me she was sorry she ever gave me the idea that she would not be receptive to this news. You’re my child. I love you. And this only makes me love you more, she said.”
“She actually said that?”
“Yeah, she did. Apparently, she’d known for a while, even before I did. And she waited for me to tell her, but when that didn’t happen, she thought she’d done or said something that made me afraid she’d be anything but accepting.”
Summer snickered. “Your mom sounds like a cool lady.”
“One of the coolest.”
Razor shielded her eyes as sunlight flared off the windshield of an incoming car. She couldn’t see the make or model, and the person behind the wheel just sat there, idling. Razor shook her head. When would people learn not to park there?
“Razor?”
Summer’s voice grabbed her attention.
“Yes?”
“I think I might be gay.”
Razor reached across the table and clasped Summer’s hand.
“Thank you for trusting me.”
“Did you know?”
“I had a feeling.”
“How?”
“When you came back to the room in Henderson, you looked upset, and…I heard you crying in the shower.”
Summer sighed and shrank into herself. “Harper got mad at me after we ran into you at Pizza Chef and I made that excuse about a study break. I explained I wasn’t ready to come out yet, and we were okay.
But I could tell it still bothered her, so I went to her room to make it right.
But when I arrived, Emery was there and joked that we were secretly dating.
I panicked and adamantly denied it. When Emery left, we had a big fight.
I said if she wasn’t willing to let me do this at my own pace, then we shouldn’t be together. She agreed, and then she threw me out.”
The anguish on Summer’s face was so potent.
“Have you two talked since then?”
“Only in the context of softball. Nothing personal. I’ve left a thousand apologies on her phone, but she won’t have anything to do with me.”
“Give her time. Okay?”
Summer nodded at the same time Razor’s phone alarm went off.
“Do you have somewhere you need to be?”
“It’s my fifteen-minute warning, so we have a little time.”
“I should let you go.”
“I only have to log into my computer a hundred feet away, so we have a few more minutes.”
“No, no. It’s fine. In fact, I’m feeling better already.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. You’re the first person I’ve told, and they say the first one is always the hardest. Having you be so accepting gives me hope that it’ll go just as well in the future.”
“True,” Razor agreed. “And whenever you’re ready to tell anyone else”—she intentionally sidestepped saying your dad—“I will be there to support you. I’m sorry if I badgered you in any way.”
“You didn’t,” Summer said, and she sounded like she meant it.
“You call the shots on who, what, when, and where you come out. No one has the right to force you to do it when you’re not ready. Especially me.”
Fresh tears rolled down Summer’s cheeks as she whispered, “Thank you.”
“Come here.” Razor pulled Summer up and enveloped her into the strongest, most supportive hug she could give. The relief flooding her body reminded her how this could’ve gone a totally different direction.
They gathered up the remnants of their breakfast and threw it in the trash can on the way to Summer’s car.
“Will you be okay for practice today?”
Summer nodded. “Yes. And having you back makes it better.”
“You weren’t doing too bad in my absence.”
“True, but…I miss my catcher.”
Razor’s cheeks warmed at the revelation, and she playfully pushed Summer on the arm.
“Go on now. I’ll see you at practice.”
She watched the dust cloud kick up as the blue sedan traveled down the driveway, thankful the car from earlier had left. Razor turned and squinted at the sun. A contentedness filled her. She reveled in that feeling, knowing how rare it was for her.
* * *
Ashton maneuvered around the group congregated in front of the registration table.
Why did they always stand right in front of the one place everyone needed to get to?
She gave her name to the young redhead manning the check-in desk and was handed a badge and lanyard, along with the complimentary swag bag.
She draped the lanyard around her neck and dodged more people as she tried to navigate her way through the crowd.
Her phone pinged with another text alert and she grinned when Razor’s thread appeared, saying she was excited about the panels and couldn’t wait to talk to Ashton about them, followed by a smiling emoji and a thumbs-up.
She wove her way through the throng of attendees congregating in the conference lobby.
The hotel wasn’t overly flashy, unless she counted the swirly bright yellow and red design on the wall-to-wall carpet.
Nothing to distract attendees from their purpose of being there.
That still didn’t prevent people from suddenly stopping midstride to investigate the swag bags, all so they could check how many free pens and notepads they scored.
Ashton nearly collided with a few of them.
She did a quick shuffle out of the stream of traffic when her phone pinged with another message.
The unknown number caught her attention, as did the message.
Your girlfriend can’t be trusted.
Ashton looked around and made sure no one was watching, then swiped the screen. There were pictures of Summer and Razor holding hands at a picnic table. Razor holding Summer intimately with Summer’s head tucked under her chin. What the hell was this?
Ashton dialed Razor’s number.
“Hey, shouldn’t you be getting ready for the keynote? It’s about to begin,” Razor said by way of greeting.
“Yeah, I’m about to head in for it. Listen, did Summer come out to see you this morning?”
There was a long pause, and Ashton thought the call dropped.
“She did. Why do you ask?”
Razor was acting strange, but Ashton didn’t feel cause for alarm.
“I got a text from a local Jonesboro number that had pictures of you and her at Slugfest. Is she all right?”
Another long pause. “Yeah, everything’s fine. She just wanted some advice.”
“About what?”
“A personal matter. I know that’s vague, and I’m not hiding anything, I swear. I’m respecting Summer’s privacy.”
Ashton sighed. “Can I ask if it’s the reason she’s been unlike herself the last few weeks?”
“It is,” Razor confirmed. “I’m sorry. That’s all I can tell you, but…I do believe she’ll be telling everyone what’s going on, sooner rather than later.”
The tone in Razor’s voice told Ashton a lot. There was pride laced with relief. Whatever Razor and Summer discussed, it was between them. And whoever was trying to make it appear more nefarious could go to hell.
“I must say, Ms. Mitchell, you’re turning into quite the psychologist.”
“I have nothing on you.” Razor’s voice dropped to an intimate tone and washed over Ashton.
“Attention ladies and gentlemen. The keynote address is about to begin. Please make your way to the main hall. Thank you.”
“The keynote is about to start.”
“Okay. Call me later. Bye.”
Ashton shoved her phone in her pocket and followed the crowd into the main hall. She snatched a seat in the back row as the lights started to dim. With all doubts laid to rest, she could enjoy the conference and look forward to talking about it with Razor.