48. Abi
48
ABI
Sadie is going to be fine. She’s mostly fine now, but the doctor wanted to keep her nearby for observation since she was getting too close to dehydration for comfort.
Her nausea and bouts of vomiting have subsided since we made it to the hospital and her rest is actually peaceful now.
We have to wake her regularly to make her drink an awful electrolyte drink and while she grumbles about it each time, she’s also gaining more strength from it.
I’m lying beside her on the hospital bed, with Flynn sitting in a chair across the bed from me, holding onto Sadie’s hand.
I thought he’d drop us off and leave us to it, but he hasn’t. He’s barely left the room.
I still can’t believe I called him in the middle of my panic attack. I was supposed to call Violet if I needed help. She was who I planned to call when I picked up my phone, and I didn’t realise I hadn’t until I heard Flynn’s voice through my speaker.
I still don’t know how he was there as fast as he was, unless my attack lasted longer than I realised, though the timing of that doesn’t stack up.
I stare down at the bed, where Sadie’s hand rests in Flynn’s. He leans forward and rests his cheek on the bed beside their hands, his gaze flicking to mine for a moment before he looks away again and the longing that shoots through me would take me to my knees if I weren’t already lying down.
I want to reach out and stroke my hand through his hair, tangling my fingers in those dark red curls. But I hold back.
“Flynn.” A voice comes from the door and I glance up to see a nurse standing there, a soft smile on her lips.
Flynn slowly raises his head, blinking a few times before focussing on the woman. “Clarissa,” he croaks and I wonder if he fell asleep for a moment there.
The woman—Clarissa—steps closer, picking up Sadie’s chart from the end of the bed, then rests a hand on Flynn’s shoulder as she reads it over.
“How’s miss Sadie doing?” she asks me.
“Good, I think. She drank some of the electrolytes. She seems to wake up a little more each time.”
Clarissa smiles. “That’s excellent.” She makes a note on the chart, replaces it on the end of the bed, then returns her hand to Flynn’s shoulder. He leans into the touch. “And how are you two doing?”
“We’re good, Riss,” Flynn says, glancing at me. “This is Abi, Sadie’s mum. Abi, this is Clarissa Sheridan. Her and her husband own Constellation Station.”
“Tilly’s mum?” I ask, the pieces of the puzzle slotting together. I decide against mentioning Max Sheridan, who I assume is Clarissa’s son.
“That would be me,” Clarissa says with a smile. “She told me about her new job at the function centre. She’s very excited about it.”
“I am too. She’s a natural when it comes to customer service.”
“She’s a good kid. Spends lots of time with me, unlike some others I know.” Clarissa ruffles Flynn’s hair.
He groans. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ll visit more. Do you give Hunter shit about it?”
“You bet I do.” She turns her focus to me. “I’m going to get the doctor to come and see you again. I think miss Sadie might be ready to go home.”
I thank Clarissa and she heads out of the room.
“She seems nice,” I say to Flynn, who’s already lowered his head back to the mattress.
“She is,” he says, voice muffled. “Violet and Clarissa were my mum’s best friends.”
This time I let myself reach out and brush my hand over his hair. He startles at the touch, then stays tense. “Every time I learn something about your mum, I think how she must have been the coolest person ever.” I withdraw my hand, placing it carefully along my thigh and pressing down into the muscle to fight the urge to continue touching him.
“She really, really was.”
We lapse into silence, the usual hospital noises the only thing between us. My phone vibrates in my back pocket and I shuffle until I can get it free.
A text from Dallas. I should have messaged him hours ago, when Sadie first got sick, but I didn’t want to ruin his weekend. He so rarely gets to spend time with just him and Katie.
I slide off the bed as I read the message.
Dallas:
Just checking in to see how your day was. Give Sadie a kiss goodnight for me.
“I need to call Dallas,” I say quietly and Flynn raises his head, nodding. “Are you okay to stay with Sadie?”
“Of course,” he says, voice soft. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, then head down the hall, looking for a quiet spot where I can call Dallas and confess.
Confess that I couldn’t look after Sadie without help.
Confess that his faith in me was misplaced.
I hit call on his name before I can chicken out.
“Abi?” he says after only one ring. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes,” I say. “Mostly. It is now.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Sadie’s sick,” I say, forcing my voice to remain steady, or at least not crack and break. I take a deep breath.
“Do I need to come home? Or have you got it handled?”
“No,” I say. “I mean. No, you don’t need to come home. But I wanted to let you know what happened. She was throwing up all afternoon. Flynn brought us to the hospital and she’s doing heaps better now. The nurse thinks we’ll be able to go home soon but she’s just checking with the doctor. She just needs to rest and rehydrate.”
“Okay, thank you for calling,” Dallas says, his voice calm through I can detect a tiny thread of worry in there. “We’ll come home first thing in the morning, but let me know if you need me there sooner.”
“It’s alright, I think we’re okay now,” I say, the control I have on my voice beginning to crumble.
“You did the right thing, Abi,” Dallas says. He pauses. “Are you okay?”
I take a breath “I had a panic attack,” I whisper. “I needed Flynn to snap me out of it. I’m so sorry.” I fight the emotion welling in my chest.
“You’re okay, Abi. You’re okay and Sadie is okay. Is Flynn still with you?”
“Yes,” I choke out.
“Okay, good. He’ll take care of you. Let him help you, okay?” His voice is so calm, so soothing. He doesn’t sound ruffled by my breakdown at all.
“Yep, I will. Thank you, Dallas.”
“We’ll see you tomorrow.” He ends the call without waiting for my response, which is probably for the best, because if I had to form any more words all that would have come out was sobbing.
He handled it so well, just took it in his stride, like he always does.
Though maybe things will be different tomorrow when he gets home. Maybe it just needs a little time to sink in that I’m still not a competent caregiver for a child.
I sigh, then retrace my steps to the room Sadie’s in.
My breath catches in my throat at the sight. Flynn has climbed onto the bed in my absence and Sadie is curled into him, her tiny fist clutching his t-shirt, his lips resting against hair, like he was giving her a kiss goodnight but fell asleep in the process.
“He’s a good one, that one,” Clarissa says beside me and I startle. “Sorry love, didn’t mean to scare you.” She gazes fondly at Flynn. “But yeah, he’s got a heart of gold.”
“I know. He’s the best person I’ve ever known.”
She squeezes my arm. “Sadie’s all good to go. Here’s the paperwork.” She hands me a bundle of paper and points out where I need to sign. “Look after your little girl,” she says, handing me my copy of the discharge papers. “And that boy for me, okay?”
“I will,” I say, hoping I have the chance to do just that.
Hoping he gives me that chance.