50. Abi
50
ABI
Flynn’s staring at me, pleading eyes fixed on mine.
“Okay,” I breathe and his expression immediately melts into relief. “I’ll at least talk to Dallas and see what he wants to do. He needs to know about the panic attack.”
I can’t actually remember if I told him that last night when I called him.
The whole night is a blur. The entirety of yesterday is a blur. It feels like it happened years ago, not just twenty-four hours.
“If he’s going to be a dick about it, he’s not the man I thought he was,” Flynn mutters and I can’t help the smile that tugs at my mouth at his protectiveness.
I sigh, because what Flynn said right then lets me know exactly how Dallas is going to react. With concern for me, then he’ll do everything in his power to work through it so I can stay a part of Sadie’s life. Because that’s the kind of man he is .
So, my declaration that I needed to leave might have been premature and a little dramatic.
Stupid, fucking anxiety brain. I should stop listening to it and start listening to Flynn, because he always steers me right. He balances me, taking away the anxiety, bringing me fun and a soothing sense of calm whenever we’re touching.
I toss the pillow aside. I was hugging it because it’s supposed to be Sadie’s, but I’d forgotten Flynn spent the night resting his head on it, so all I could smell was him. Why smell a pillow when the real thing is right here beside me?
I wriggle closer, sliding my legs back over his and leaning into his shoulder. I’m not in his lap like I was earlier when I cried all over him, but I’m almost there.
“You want me too much?” I whisper, terrified of where this might be going, but chasing it anyway.
I’m feeling reckless and too emotionally drained to care.
Flynn groans and tips his head back so it thunks against the wall. “Hush.”
“You think I’m going to let that go?” I ask. I snuggle closer and his arms come around me, pulling me up into his lap so I can bury my face in his neck.
“I wish you would,” he mutters against my hair, then presses a kiss to my forehead.
My eyes flutter closed and I lean into the sensation of being wrapped up by him. “Is there something else for me here, aside from Sadie?” I whisper, holding my breath after the words spill out.
“If you want there to be,” he whispers, voice barely audible, but I feel the words brush over my skin, caressing my hair as he presses another kiss to my forehead and tightens his grip on me.
I don’t know how to answer him. I need to sort things with Sadie out first. I need to be clear where I stand with Dallas, whether or not he still wants me around.
His head jerks up and his body goes stiff before I have the chance to formulate my reply and I glance up at him.
He’s staring at the door, mouth ajar, like he’s trying to come up with words himself. I glance towards the hallway and it all makes sense.
Katie is standing in the doorway to Sadie’s room, eyes wide in shock. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she babbles. “I’ll come back. I just wanted to check that Abi was okay. I’m sorry. I’ll go now.”
“Katie Kat,” Flynn says. “Wait.”
She stops where she’s already turned back down the hall and glances back at us over her shoulder.
I slide off Flynn’s lap and he scooches forward until he can stand, then crosses the room to her. He places his hands on her shoulders and they murmur a few words before she leans in to hug him quickly. Disentangling himself from her embrace, he shoots me a soft smile, promising to finish our conversation later, then heads down the hall, back to my room and Sadie.
Katie steps into the room, looking the most awkward I’ve ever seen her. She bites her lip. “I’m really sorry about interrupting … whatever that was.” She waves a hand, encompassing where I’m sitting in the rumpled bed.
“It’s fine,” I say, trying to smile. “Sadie okay?”
“Sadie’s great. Just a little tired you know? But how are you? Last night sounds like it was a lot.”
“It was.” I fiddle with the blankets, then reach for the pillow, hugging it to my body. “I assume you know why I left in the first place? The anxiety and panic attacks?” Katie nods. “It happened again last night.”
“Are you okay?” Katie asks, reaching out to slip her hand into mine and squeezing tight. “It must have been scary.”
“It was. It always is. That’s when I rang Flynn. I barely remember doing it. Then he was here, making everything better … but …” I take a deep breath. “I couldn’t look after Sadie, not on my own.”
Katie’s grip on my hand tightens. “You know you don’t have to be on your own, right? It sounds a bit cheesy, but Wildflower Ridge is like a big, mostly happy family. You’re part of that now. Everyone at that place has your back.”
I blink, tears blurring my eyes. “That’s pretty much exactly what Flynn said.”
Katie laughs and I can’t help smiling along with her. I’m not quite ready for laughing though.
“I’m not sure I can do it, that’s if you and Dallas want me around still.”
Katie stares at me, expression more shocked than earlier when she first walked into the room, which I didn’t think was possible. “In what world would ee not want you around? Aside from the fact that you’re Sadie’s mum, you’re doing a great job with Olivia’s dream business and I get the feeling you’re making my other best friend really fucking happy. Of course we want you here. ”
“Even if I can’t look after Sadie like I should be able to?”
She shrugs. “We’ll work on it. I tell you what, she had a bug a couple of months back—nowhere near this bad—and Dallas nearly lost his shit. Your anxiety is understandable, and we’ll work with it.” She squeezes my hand again. “Sorry, but you’re stuck with us now.”
A sob catches in my throat, then bursts free and I fling myself at Katie. She catches me and wraps her arms around me. She lets out a soft laugh and holds me until I pull back and swipe under my eyes.
I cough, clear my throat and give her a sheepish look. “Sorry about that. But thank you. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”
“There’s just one condition,” she says, lifting an eyebrow at me. “You look after our boy’s heart. It’s solid gold and he deserves nothing but the best. Can you give that to him?”
I take a fortifying breath and look her dead in the eye. “I’m going to damn well try,” I say and she nods.
“Good.”