London loves
Tuesday night came around with startling speed, and it was time for Common People once again.
After a long day at Broadcasting House, and a quick turnaround at the flat with barely enough time for a protein bar to eat on the way, Max was once again sitting in the group circle before the run.
It was a slightly overcast evening, colder than the week before which Max thought was probably a good thing.
Perhaps it would stop him from being sick in front of everyone again.
Max was sitting opposite Bethan, who was in a pair of black running shorts and a tight black top, and he couldn’t stop himself from looking at her.
He caught her eye, smiled at her and she smiled back.
He did wonder whether it was possible they could just have some fun together.
The thought like a fleeting gust of wind blew through him, and when it was gone, the only thing left behind was the cold, hard truth.
He just wasn't a “bit of fun” sort of bloke, and he didn’t know Bethan well, but she didn’t seem like the sort of girl who was looking for a casual friends-with-benefits relationship either.
He knew he liked her, and the more time he spent with her, that feeling was only going to get stronger and stronger.
As he did his best not to keep looking at her, the conversation began with Eve discussing her latest book.
‘It’s out next week, so I’m busy with pre-publication day events and marketing,’ said Eve, who had mentioned to Max that she was an author, but hadn’t elaborated on it.
‘What sort of book, is it?’ asked Max.
‘It’s a romantic comedy. Set in Ireland.’
‘Eve’s our famous author,’ said Hope.
‘Famous?’ asked Max.
‘She’s exaggerating. I’m hardly famous. Amongst a small group of loyal fans, maybe, but to the rest of the world, I’m no-one.’
‘Hardly no-one,’ said Anita. ‘I went to one of her recent book signings in Covent Garden, and there was a queue around the corner! I had to wait for forty-five minutes. In the rain!’
‘I had no idea I was in the company of a celebrity,’ said Max, and Eve blushed. Her pale skin softened with a pinkish hue. ‘I’ll have to buy one of your books so you can sign it for me.’
‘Stop it. I write romantic comedies about women like me who can’t find love. It just so happens that a lot of women face the same challenges, so my books strike a chord. That’s it. I’m not exactly Marian Keyes or Sally Rooney.’
‘If you can’t find a decent bloke, I’d be happy to strike your chord,’ said Charlie, laughing at his own crass joke.
‘I’d rather die celibate,’ replied Eve pointedly.
‘Now kids, no arguments, please,’ said Hope, quickly. ‘Anyone else have something to talk about this week? Anita? Joe? Max?’
It was quiet for a moment and then Anita spoke, her soft voice was so calm after Eve and Charlie. Anita was often the calm energy of the group. The voice of age and experience.
‘Saturday is the three-year anniversary of my husband's death,’ said Anita, changing the mood of the group with a simple sentence. Although Anita didn’t look broken or sad, and smiled with the same calmness she had in her voice.
‘I have my children coming over, and all my grandchildren, so I’ll be cooking all week. ’
‘Sounds like the best thing to do,’ replied Joe. ‘You don’t want to be on your own.’
‘I certainly won’t be,’ said Anita, chuckling. ‘Four children, plus partners, and ten grandchildren. The house will be full! My daughter, Priya, lives in Manchester, so she’s staying with me all weekend with her husband, and their two kids. I’ll be rushed off my feet!’
Max hadn’t learnt about Anita’s husband yet.
He had heard her talking about him in vague, almost shapeless ways, but nothing specific.
Apparently, he had died three years before.
Anita wasn’t that old at sixty-six, so unless her husband was older than her, he couldn’t have been old when he passed away.
Anita, seeming to almost sense Max’s questions, looked across at him. Obviously, everyone else already knew.
‘My husband, Ravi, was a wonderful man, Max. He was perfect, and then just after his sixty-first birthday, he wasn’t feeling well. He went to the doctor, expecting nothing serious, but as it turned out, it was. He had stage-four bowel cancer.’
‘Oh, Anita, I’m so sorry. That’s awful.’
‘It is all right Max. Ravi got the chance to say goodbye to everyone he loved. He got to say and do everything he wanted before he was too sick. He was my light, my love, and he made me so happy every day we were together, but since he died, I have done my best to be OK with it. It’s what Ravi told me.
He said that I needed to keep living, to remember him with joy, but to always look forward, not back.
He was a very wise man, my husband. It is also very annoying when I just want to cry, and punch a cushion because I am so angry he was taken from me,’ she said, and then she laughed to herself.
‘It’s so stupid, but one of the things I miss the most about Ravi was his terrible jokes.
You know, he used to call chewing gum, Worzels, after the television show, Worzel Gummidge.
Gum, Gummidge, and then somehow Worzels.
We’d be in the car driving somewhere, and he’d ask me to pass him a Worzel.
It’s so silly, but whenever I’m driving somewhere, I miss it, you know? ’
Everyone in the group nodded because they realised exactly what she was saying, and they could all relate in some way.
Max could definitely understand because he knew that if his parents would have had the chance to say goodbye, it would have been exactly what they would have said.
They would have told him to move on, to be happy, to choose living over sadness, and he would have hated them for it too.
It was easy to tell someone to get over it, to look to the future, but in reality, it felt to Max, almost impossible.
Perhaps if he had got the chance to say goodbye, to have that sort of closure while they were alive, then maybe it would have made it slightly easier somehow.
If he had got from his parents what Anita had got from her husband, then perhaps he could have moved on. Was it that black and white though?
‘I’m sure I speak for everyone here when I say we’ve got your back, and if you need anything from us, please just ask,’ said Hope, and everyone nodded in agreement. ‘Right, anyone else have something to add?’
Everyone looked around, and Max felt pressure on him because he hadn’t yet told them why he was there, but no-one had asked and he didn’t know if he was ready to share.
The thing was, in the past whenever he had told people about his parents, he had inevitably cried at some point, and he didn’t want to cry in front of them.
When no-one spoke, Hope said it was time to warm-up, and so they all stood up and went through their warm-up routines.
Max had gone online at work, and researched running warm-ups, so he had a slightly more professional routine than last time, although nothing like Charlie’s intense full-body workout.
They eventually started off, running at a gentle jog around Claphan Common, apart from Charlie who started off much faster than everyone else.
Apparently, he wanted to run a sub twenty-minute 5K, which seemed impossible to Max, but whether you liked Charlie or not, you couldn’t fault his determination and drive to succeed.
It was almost infectious. After a while, everyone spread out, settling into their own rhythm, and Max found himself jogging next to Bethan.
They hadn’t spoken since the cold plunge and sauna.
‘It’s so sad about Anita’s husband,’ said Max.
‘Yeah, poor thing. Although she seems to be handling it well.’
‘She does,’ said Max, trying to regulate his breathing so he didn’t get too out of breath, but he also wanted to keep talking with Bethan. ‘I enjoyed the cold plunge and sauna.’
‘Oh yeah? Not too cold or too hot for you?’
‘I mean, yes, both, but I felt great afterwards. All day, actually.’
‘That’s the point. It’s painful, but worth it in the end.’
‘I actually can’t wait to do it again, which is not something I ever thought I would say about dunking myself in ice-cold water.’
‘You’re changing.’
‘I suppose so, and what about you?’
‘What about me?’
‘Has the running club changed you? How long have you been doing it for?’
‘Nearly a year, and yeah, it’s been good for me. Hope is such an inspiration. Everyone here is, actually.’
‘Even Charlie?’ said Max, thinking he seemed like the only person in that group without a large amount of humility and empathy.
‘Strangely enough, yes, even Charlie,’ replied Bethan, without elaborating further.
Clearly, she knew more about Charlie than him, and perhaps there were hidden layers beneath the surface.
Although Eve knew him too, and she obviously didn’t find him in the least endearing.
As they ran together, Max wanted to ask some searching questions to find out more about Bethan.
The thing he really wanted to know was if she had a boyfriend or not.
Surely someone as pretty, as bright, smart and kind as Bethan would be in demand.
He imagined a tall, handsome, successful boyfriend lurking somewhere in the background.
A Tom or a Harry she’d met at university, who did something in finance.
‘Did you do much on the weekend after the cold plunge and sauna?’ asked Max.
‘Oh, not really. I met a couple of mates for brunch, but otherwise it was a quiet one.’
‘No big plans with a boyfriend?’ said Max, before he looked across Bethan. His plan to be discreet and to ask her in a way that wouldn’t make him seem like he was clearly asking because he fancied her, was obviously out of the window. Max immediately cursed himself.
‘Boyfriend? Why do you think I have a boyfriend?’
‘Oh, you know,’ said Max, feeling his cheeks redden, although running had already turned him a bright pink, so you’d hardly notice. ‘A girl as wonderful as you, I just thought—’
‘No boyfriend,’ said Bethan, but she didn’t say it with a salacious grin or a cheeky smile, and instead it was with an expression that said something else.
Max wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but it was clear that just the mention of a boyfriend and the atmosphere between them had changed somehow.
The fun, light-hearted feeling that had been hovering around them, disappeared and in its place was a harder, more serious mood that took Max by surprise.
He had obviously misjudged the situation. He had to say something.
‘Bethan, if I—’
‘It’s fine, no worries,’ said Bethan with a strained smile, before she started running faster, and Max couldn’t talk because he needed all his energy just to keep up with her.
They continued running, and eventually Max had to slow down because he couldn’t keep the pace up, and Bethan went ahead of him, until everyone was finally back at the start again.
Joe was puffing and panting the hardest, but had recorded a personal best, which was met with claps and cheers from the group.
Charlie hadn’t quite hit his sub twenty-minute goal, but everyone said well done when he told them he had only missed out by about twenty-five seconds.
Charlie was too busy guzzling down an energy drink with added protein for muscle recovery, to respond.
Max had wanted to talk with Bethan, ask if she was OK, and if he had said something to make her uncomfortable, but she had picked up her things and headed off.
Max was caught-up congratulating Joe on his PB, and before he knew it, Bethan was nowhere to be seen.
As Max headed home, tired and sweaty, he knew he needed to find out what had happened to Bethan.
What was her story, and what was she keeping from him that made her disappear like that?