To getting there
It had been a long day at work, and Max was heading out of Broadcasting House.
He had come in early for a meeting about a commission for a new television series, and had worked through most of his lunch, eating a salad at his desk, but it was finally time to head home.
Work had been one of the only constants in his life since the accident, and at times it had been difficult when he hadn’t been in the right headspace, or when he was hung-over for days on end, but as he was coming out of the other end of grief, he appreciated it more than ever.
He had friends there, a supportive team of people around him, and he enjoyed the work itself.
It gave him meaning. As he said goodnight to a few fellow employees, and began the walk out onto Langham Street towards Oxford Circus, Max felt a genuine contentment.
His life that had been turned upside down, was finally almost back on an even keel again.
He walked along Langham Place onto Regents Street towards the tube, and he had just passed Blank Street Coffee, someone left, and he moved around them, and that’s when he stopped dead in his tracks.
His heart was suddenly in his mouth because he couldn’t believe who it was. His world spun on its axis again.
‘Max,’ said Emma. He hadn’t seen her since a week after she had broken up with him via voicemail. The day she had come to his flat, and they’d had a long depressingly solemn chat over tea and toast, and she had finally left him for good, taking a small bag of things with her.
‘Emma,’ said an incredulous Max. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m good,’ she replied with a tentative smile.
She looked beautiful in a smart summer dress, and she’d had her hair cut differently, a little shorter with highlights, which suited her.
She looked almost the same as she had, but somehow different too.
Maybe it was just the pain and agony that was missing from her face from the last time they had seen each other.
The strain of having to deal with his grief was gone, and she looked lighter, happier.
She looked more like the Emma he had fallen in love with such a long time ago.
They stood in front of each other for a moment, neither sure what to say next.
It was such an unexpected meeting, and it had clearly taken them both by surprise.
London was an enormous city with a population of nine million people, what were the chances he would bump into his ex-girlfriend outside Blank Street Coffee on Regent’s Street?
Caught in the moment, Max made a snap decision.
‘Do you fancy getting a drink or something? If you have time.’
‘Umm, yeah, I have time. There’s The George, just down there.’
‘Sounds good,’ Max replied, and with that they walked the short walk to the pub, to have their first drink together for quite some time.
Max explained that he was drinking non-alcoholic beer these days, and that he was into running, and so ordered himself a Guinness 0.
0, while Emma got a glass of white wine.
It was reasonably busy, but they found a small table for two to sit at before they looked at each other, both realising how surreal it was to be together again.
In another world, they could already be living together or engaged. Sliding doors.
‘You look good, Max. You’ve lost weight.’
‘It’s the running,’ said Max, before taking a sip of his Guinness. ‘I joined a run club.’
‘Wow! You joined a run club. I almost can’t believe it. You do remember the exact words you used when I first asked you to come to run club with me, don’t you?’
Max laughed. ‘Run clubs are for wankers? Yes, I understand the horrific hypocrisy, but honestly, it’s been a life-saver. It’s changed everything. Apart from the weight loss and generally feeling healthier, I’ve met some amazing people.’
‘I’m happy to hear that. Really, Max, you seem so much better.
’ Emma smiled at him, and he knew she meant it.
He had been so difficult, treated her and her friends so horribly, she had every right to hate him, but she didn’t.
She was still championing his happiness, despite everything.
It was one of the things he had always loved about her. She was a good human being.
‘Thanks, and Emma, can I just say again, how sorry I am for—’
‘Max, it’s fine. It’s ancient history. You were broken after losing your parents. I know it wasn’t really you, but I just couldn’t do it anymore.’
‘I know, and that’s what I’m most sorry about. I know you were always just trying to help, and all I did was push you away.’
‘But now you’re OK. You’re running, getting your life together, and you seem like the old Max again.’
‘I’m slowly getting there.’
‘That’s all I ever wanted,’ she said, and then she raised her glass in the air. ‘To getting there.’
‘Getting there,’ said Max, tapping his drink against her. ‘And what about you? What’s happening in your life?’
Max relaxed into his chair and drank his pint of Guinness, while he listened to Emma telling him all about her life.
She had changed companies, gained a promotion, which meant more money, and because one of her flatmates had left to go travelling, she had moved into a new flat with the other flatmate, Rachel – not Stacey, who he had abused the night he’d got drunk and destroyed their relationship.
She was now living south of the Thames in Peckham, so much nearer to Clapham, and she was happy.
After they’d broken up, she had taken a few weeks off work, and gone away by herself, and done a bit of soul searching.
It was one of the best things she had ever done because it had given her perspective, and getting out of London, away from the scene of the crime, had given her the ability to really understand what had gone wrong and how she could move forward.
She was still really into fitness, and was running next year's London Marathon. After all of that, there was still one unanswered question that Max knew he didn’t have the right to ask, but curiosity got the better of him.
‘Have you been dating?’ he asked, realising the optics of him asking that question.
He didn’t know how she would reply, if she would at all.
She could be happily dating a boyfriend already, and it was none of his business.
Would he be met with a scowl or a blank expression of frustration at his question?
The answer came swiftly, without a hint of annoyance.
‘Truthfully, I would love to sit here and tell you that I’ve been inundated with brilliant, perfect men on a series of incredible dates, or that I’m with the love of my life and we’re planning a summer wedding, but the truth is, I’m still single.’
‘Oh, I really thought—’
‘You thought what, Max?’
‘That someone as amazing as you would be snapped up in no time,’ he replied, and she blushed before taking a long, measured sip of her wine. She placed the glass back on the table before she looked across at Max.
‘Thank you for saying that, but the truth is, after what happened with us, dating was the last thing on my mind. I did eventually go on a few dates, but none worked out.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘You don’t need to be sorry, Max. It’s fine.
I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time.
My career’s going well, I’m loving the new flat, and training for the marathon has kept me busy.
I’m also planning another holiday, this time with Rachel, and we’re off to New York next month.
Life is good, Max, and if and when love appears again, then I’ll deal with it, but right now, I’m happily single. ’
‘Good for you.’
‘What about you?’
‘What about me? Oh, am I dating?’ he asked, momentarily thinking of Bethan, but clearly they were not dating, and it wasn’t on the cards anytime soon. ‘No, I’m still working on myself.’
‘That sounds very healthy.’
‘Look at us,’ said Max with a bright smile. ‘Both happily working on ourselves. So mature.’
‘It’s good though, right? When I do meet The One, whenever that is, I want to be the best version of myself. I think they deserve that, and so do I.’
‘One hundred per cent. Oh, before I forget, I’m opening a sandwich shop with Robbie.’
‘What?!’ exclaimed Emma. ‘OK, let me get us another round, and you need to explain everything!’
‘Very well,’ said Max, who watched Emma get up and head up to the bar.
As Max watched Emma at the bar ordering drinks, it was hard not to get wrapped up in nostalgia.
Before the accident they had been really happy together.
One of the things with Emma was that it had always been so easy.
From their first date all the way until his parents’ deaths, being with Emma had been like the smoothest flight in the world.
There had been literally zero turbulence, and so it was so enjoyable, and it made him think that’s how the rest of their journey was going to be.
He had almost forgotten that turbulence existed, but then his parents died, and from there on out, the seatbelt sign was on, no-one was allowed to use the toilets, and they had just held on for dear life, hoping for the best. In the end, it hadn’t been enough and the turbulence had got the better of them, but now, ten months later, on a brand-new flight, the air was smooth again, and it reminded him just how enjoyable it could be when everything was new and fresh.
Emma came back with a round of drinks, and Max explained all about Rab’s Sandwich Shop, and Max found himself speaking quite passionately about it.
He hadn’t realised just how excited he was until he explained everything to Emma, who was stunned it was happening so quickly.
As he spoke about it, and why he had chosen to finally spend some of his inheritance on it, she said she thought it was a wonderful idea and couldn’t wait to visit the shop.
They drank slowly, talking almost as if their break-up hadn’t happened.
They were so at ease, talking, laughing, and when they finally stepped outside and started wandering towards the tube station together, it was like they were the old them again.
‘Before we get the tube, can I say something?’ said Emma, before they descended into the depths of Oxford Circus tube station. They lived near each other now, and would both jump on the Victoria Line, but then she would get off before him and change. He turned to face her.
‘Of course.’
‘This has been really nice catching up, and I know there’s a lot of baggage with us, but I’d like to see you again, if that’s all right?’
Max was momentarily caught off-guard, but surprisingly the answer came easily to him. ‘I’d like that too.’
‘Yeah?’
‘It feels like there’s some unfinished business between us, don’t you think?’
‘I do,’ replied Emma with a smile, and with that they walked down the stairs and into the tube station to catch the tube home.
When Max was a boy he loved playing Lego, and not the Lego they had nowadays, where everything was a special kit, and you followed directions to make something specific.
Max just had a huge tub of random pieces and he would sit for hours making all sorts of things from cars to spaceships, and the thing was, often when he started out, he wasn’t sure what it was he was making.
He would grab pieces of Lego and just start building, and slowly something would take shape.
It was like a strange sort of alchemy, where it all just fell into place, and that was how his life felt at that moment.
From the morning in the coffee shop when he had seen the flyer for Common People, he hadn’t known what it was he wanted to build.
He had just begun, and now he had an amazing group of friends, was healthier, about to open a sandwich shop with Robbie, had Bethan, and now Emma was back in his life.
None of it had been planned, but as he sat on the tube home, he could see that he was building a life again. Something was taking shape.