The thing on the ground
Max had finally decided it was time to tell everyone in the group about his parents.
It wasn’t that he had been hiding it from them on purpose, but the moment had never quite felt right.
There had been days when it was on the tip of his tongue, but then someone else would speak, ask a question, and the moment passed.
Bethan knew, like he knew about her secret, but it was time he told the group.
In the short time he had been a part of Common People, they had become like family, and he felt like he owed them the truth.
After the usual warm-up, and chatting in small groups about their days, they all got together for the pre-run circle.
It was a chance for everyone to speak, to share news or talk about what was on their minds.
Max was usually quiet during circle time, commenting on other people's news, but today was going to be his moment.
‘I’d like to start today, if that’s OK,’ said Max when everyone was settled.
‘Yeah, no worries, Max,’ said Hope with a smile. ‘Go ahead.’
Everyone looked towards Max, and he felt the weight of their eyes on him. It was still hard saying the words out loud, even to be people he felt close with. He knew they would be nothing but supportive, but telling people about his parents dying was never easy.
‘So,’ Max began, and he looked across the circle at Bethan, and she gave him an encouraging smile.
‘When I joined Common People, I told you that I was just doing it to get in shape, which was partially true, but the real, and the main reason I joined, was because I was in a bad place in my life. At the beginning of last year, my parents were killed in a car crash, and it turned my world upside down.’
‘Oh, Max, I’m so sorry,’ said Hope immediately.
‘That’s awful,’ said Joe. ‘Sorry, mate.’
‘It’s OK. I mean, it’s not OK, but I’m slowly coming to terms with losing them. The thing is, I was an only child and they were my whole world, so after it happened, I went into quite a dark place. I was so angry, and the only thing that seemed to help was alcohol, until it didn’t.’
‘It never bloody does,’ chipped in Charlie.
‘Right, and so that morning when I saw the flyer at the coffee shop, I just knew it was something I had to do. I was overweight, tired, and I hated myself. I hated my life, if I’m being honest, but when I started running with all of you, I finally began seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.
This group has given me so much more than I could have hoped for. ’
‘That’s awesome,’ said Hope.
‘Good for you, Max,’ chimed in Anita.
‘I can’t believe you went through all that on your own,’ said Eve.
‘I had Robbie. He was, and still is, the best support I could have had. I had a girlfriend when it happened, but I pushed her away until she finally broke-up with me. But it wasn’t until I came here that I truly found what I needed.
People like me, and the running itself, which is also why I have decided to do the Clapham Half. ’
‘Yes, mate!’ said Charlie. ‘From Chunder Boy to running man! Top-notch bounce back!’
‘Thanks, Charlie,’ replied Max.
‘Can I just say,’ said Hope with a touch more refrain.
‘How proud I am of you for sharing that with us today, and for committing to the Clapham Half. This is what the run club is all about and why I set it up in the first place. It’s about community, about coming together and using running as a way to overcome the obstacles in our lives, but the most important thing, for me at least, is the support we give each other.
Thanks Max, and I’m so sorry for what happened to you, and I’m sure everyone here will offer their support too.
On a brighter note, I’m super excited for you to run the Clapham Half with us! ’
‘I’m terrified,’ Max replied to laughter from the group.
Everyone got up, and they each in turn gave Max a hug, offered words of encouragement and support. Charlie patted Max on the back so hard, he almost fell over, but he knew it was Charlie’s way of being a mate.
‘I don’t know exactly what you’re going through,’ said Joe. ‘But I know what losing my old man felt like, and how hard it was for me. If you need anything at all, mate, you know where I am, yeah?’
‘Thanks, Joe.’
‘Me too,’ said Anita, who gave Max a long hug.
‘Grief is one of the hardest things, but the truth is that it does get a little easier in time. After Ravi died, for months and months, I couldn’t even think about him without bursting into tears, but now whenever I think of him, it’s usually with a smile. It will get easier, Max, I know it.’
‘Thanks, Anita.’
‘Right, let’s get running!’ said Hope. ‘There’s only four weeks until the half, let’s really try and ramp up the miles, and increase the pace!’
As they started running, Bethan moved in next to Max. She looked at him and he looked back at her. ‘Good job today.’
‘It was time.’
‘Yeah, but still not easy, I’m sure.’
‘It’s never easy, but Anita’s right, it’s beginning to feel a little easier.’
‘Well, I, for one, am super proud of you.’
‘Thanks,’ said Max, and then she nudged him with her arm, winked at him, and then she sped off at her own pace, which made Max smile to himself.
He knew her secret, which she still hadn’t shared with the group, and it must have been on her mind as he spoke to everyone.
He wasn’t sure if she would ever tell them, but that was up to her.
Max also wanted to tell her about what had happened with Emma.
After Emma returned from the toilet, they had finished dinner, and he had gone back on the tube with her to her flat, they had said goodbye, and it had felt like a moment.
She had laid her cards on the table, and he felt awful for telling her about Bethan, but it was the truth and he had owed her that.
It wasn’t his fault, or hers, but just timing.
If Emma had come back into his life before Bethan, perhaps they could have given it another go, but with his feelings towards Bethan, he knew he couldn’t start something new with Emma.
She was crushed, and he felt for her, but he also knew it was the right thing to do.
Perhaps after their run, if Bethan had time, he would tell her all about it.
With the Clapham Half just four weeks away, everyone was really pushing it.
Charlie was determined to run a sub two-hour half-marathon, and he was flying around like his life depended on it.
Even Max started jogging just that little bit faster.
He didn’t have a time in mind, he just wanted to finish, but he liked having a goal to aim towards.
Bethan was ahead of him with Eve, and Hope was running between them all, giving them words of encouragement.
After a mile, Max found himself running with Anita.
‘Where’s Joe? Don’t you two usually run together?’
‘Oh, he’s off trying to beat his personal best. I can’t keep up with him these days. He’s like a man possessed!’
‘I’ll run with you. I’m just trying to finish the Clapham Half. I have no time in mind.’
‘Me either. For me running is the perfect distraction, and it gives me something to do. You know, it’s one of the hardest things about getting older, Max, especially when you’re a widow and all your children are gone. It’s filling the days.’
‘I imagine it must be difficult. What else do you do apart from this?’
‘I belong to a book club, a cooking club, and I have friends, family nearby, but there are so many hours in the day I can’t fill.
It’s those hours when I miss Ravi the most. We had so many plans for retirement.
Ravi had always wanted to go to America, and we were going to rent a car and do a road trip through California, but I won’t do it without him.
We were going to do so much, but then he died, and now I’m on my own, and to be honest, I hate it. ’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s OK, you have enough things to be getting on with yourself.
I am sorry about what happened to you. I know with Ravi, it was the speed at which he died that was the worst. It felt like one moment he was fine, we had a normal life, and then it felt like he was gone.
It must have been even more difficult for you. ’
‘I just wish I’d had the chance to say goodbye.’
‘I know, and for that, I will be eternally grateful,’ replied Anita, before they settled into an easy jog around Clapham Common, both with their own thoughts in their mind.
It felt like a weight had been lifted, telling everyone in the group about his parents.
With the Emma situation over with, he could focus on the sandwich shop, and maybe Bethan too.
With work going well, and the Clapham Half in a month, Max felt like his life was finally coming together.
He had plans for the future, and things to focus on in the present.
As they rounded the last bend towards the finish, it was then that Anita and Max saw everyone else standing around something on the ground.
They slowed, trying to work out what was going on.
Hope was standing next to the group, talking animatedly on her phone.
Then Max saw Bethan in tears, Eve with her arm around her, and then Charlie turned and saw them.
Before they could get any closer, Charlie walked towards them, his face as white as a sheet, and then they saw what was on the ground. It was Joe, and he wasn’t moving.