The wake-up call
Rab’s Sandwich Shop was finally open, and it had been quite the day for Robbie, who had been at the shop since four a.m. baking bread.
Max had taken the day off work, and had spent the morning serving customers, and helping Robbie wherever he could.
Eve had also been there, an important part of the team now, as Robbie’s official girlfriend, which was a little awkward for Max after everything that had happened at the weekend.
Bethan still hadn’t replied to any of his messages, and he had tried calling her, but she hadn’t picked up.
For an opening day, the sandwich shop had been busy with a steady stream of customers from the moment they opened until the minute they closed.
There had been numerous social media influencers, desperate to try the newest sandwich shop on the London scene, and lots of happy customers, delighted with the sandwiches.
The Scotsman had been by far and away the best seller, which made Robbie happy.
There had been quite a few Scottish people coming by and trying the food, as well as grabbing a cold can of Irn-Bru, of course.
As soon as Robbie turned the sign on the door from open to closed, Max, Robbie and Eve, all sighed with relief. It had been busy and stressful, but ultimately rewarding, especially for Robbie, who had been a bag of nerves all week.
‘I’ve never opened a sandwich shop before, but I think it went well,’ said Eve.
‘Aye,’ replied Robbie. ‘Everyone seemed happy with the food.’
‘It was amazing, mate, well done,’ said Max, who couldn’t get as excited about it as he probably should have been because his life felt so up in the air.
He was still thinking about asking work for a three-month sabbatical, potentially going away travelling and also talking with Hope’s therapist. He knew he needed to make some big changes, and after agreeing to sell the house, it felt like the right time.
His life felt like it had reached a tipping point.
‘Thanks, Max, and Eve for all your help today. I don’t know how I’m going to manage on my own tomorrow.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ said Max.
‘You will, and if it gets crazy, call me and I’ll come in to help out,’ said Eve.
‘But I cannae keep calling you, Eve, because what about when you’re not here?
I have to learn to cope on my own. At least until we can afford to hire someone,’ said Robbie, who looked towards Max for help on that front.
Max was in-charge of money, and all the administrative side of things.
He would decide when they could afford to actually hire someone.
‘Let’s see how it goes,’ said Max. ‘I’d love to hire someone too, but we can’t afford it yet.’
‘Aye, I know,’ said Robbie, who started tidying up. ‘Why don’t youse guys go? Youse already done enough. I can close up on my own.’
‘You sure?’ asked Max.
‘Aye, go.’
‘Me too?’ asked Eve.
‘Aye, and I’ll see youse later?’
‘Definitely,’ said Eve, and they kissed before Eve joined Max, as they walked out of the door, standing together on the pavement. It was a little tense after what had happened at Anita’s Indian feast, and he could see it on Eve’s face.
‘How was run club last night?’ asked Max after a moment’s silence.
‘Weird. Hope told us that she’d spoken with you, and you wouldn’t be coming again. To be honest, I completely understand why you pushed Charlie, he was being a right feckin’ gobshite as usual, but what you said about Bethan.’
‘Was she OK, last night?’
‘She wasn’t there.’
‘Shit. I hope she’s all right. I’ve tried calling her and texting, but she’s ignoring me.’
‘Rightly so. Sorry, but what you said about her boyfriend was well out of order.’
‘I know. I feel awful.’
‘I know you do,’ said Eve with a faint smile. ‘So, what’s the plan now?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Look, Max, I know what happened to your parents was terrible, I do, and I’m not going to profess that I know what it's like to walk a mile in your shoes because I don’t. What I do know is that Robbie loves you, and he wants you to be OK.’
‘I know.’
‘So, you need to sort yourself out. Properly sort yourself out. There are no quick fixes to grief.’
‘I’ve been thinking about going away for a while actually, travelling for a bit, and Hope gave me the number for her therapist.’
‘Both sound like good solutions. The thing is, Max, when Liam cheated on me, I was broken for a long time. My husband, the man I thought I’d be spending the rest of my life with, slept with someone else, and it took me years to move on and get over it.
The thing that really helped, that made me realise I had to stop living in the past, was when I knew I had hit rock bottom.
I could either let this absolute piece of shite man ruin the rest of my life, or I could stop letting him decide what was going to happen to me.
I chose my future happiness over the pain of the past. I know our situations are different, I do, but you need to choose happiness, Max.
You need to find out what will make you happy, and then do everything you can to get it.
For me it was writing, creating a life in London, friends, career, and now love with yer man. ’
‘You’re in love with Robbie?’
Eve smiled. ‘I am.’
‘And is he …?’
‘He is.’
‘Wow! Blimey.’
‘And it’s all thanks to you. So, Max, use what happened as a wake-up call. Whatever you do next might decide the rest of your life. You’ve got to be positive. Do something positive.’
Max looked at Eve, and he knew she was right.
He had to choose happiness, and more importantly he had to discover what it was that made him happy.
At that moment, outside of Rab’s Sandwich Shop, Max knew exactly what it was he had to do.
It was the thing he should have done a year and a half ago, or even a year ago, but was too afraid, too caught up in his own sadness.
He had fallen into a hole, and instead of fighting and clambering his way out of it, he had wallowed in it.
He had sunk further instead of doing everything he could to get out of it.
Eve had her pain, Bethan hers, but both of them were trying to move on and he needed to do the same.
‘Thanks, Eve, that’s just what I needed to hear.’
‘Yeah?’
‘And for the record, I’m really happy about you and Robbie. I think you’re perfect for each other.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Right, I have to go. I have things to do,’ said Max with a smile, before he started walking back to the flat.
He needed to send work an email asking for a three-month sabbatical, which would mean a meeting with his manager, Rhys Powell, and also with HR, but he wasn’t worried about it.
Other people at work had taken sabbaticals, or compassionate leave, or whatever else you wanted to call it.
Max knew one woman who had taken a month off when her cat died, so he imagined losing his parents would give him at least three.
Rhys had actually suggested more than once that Max take a bit of time off for himself, but he had always said no.
He couldn’t imagine that Rhys would mind now.
Max was also going to call Grace, Hope’s therapist, and make an appointment.
Hopefully he could get in to see her soon and begin the therapy process.
The only problem he couldn’t fix, and the one he wanted to fix the most was Bethan, but that would require some patience.
He just needed to focus on the things he could control.
As soon as Max walked into his flat, he went straight into his bedroom and sat on his bed.
He sent work an email, asking for a meeting about a sabbatical.
After that he rang Grace and managed to secure a one-hour session on the following Monday.
He liked the sound of Grace’s voice, and she seemed nice and most importantly, like someone he wouldn’t mind talking to.
Grace was from New Zealand, and had a warm, friendly accent.
After hanging-up with Grace, Max had one more phone call to make.
It was to Bethan’s voicemail. He knew she wouldn’t pick-up, and so he was going to leave her a message, and hope that she actually listened to it.
After a deep breath, he dialled her number and waited.
As expected, it went straight to voicemail, and after the beep he spoke.
‘Bethan, it’s Max. I’m sorry that I’ve been texting and calling, but I promise this is the last time.
I just wanted to say I’m so sorry. For everything.
I betrayed your trust, and I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, but I really hope that one day we can be friends again.
I’m going to speak with a therapist next week, and I’m going to take a sabbatical from work for a few months.
After what happened, it’s clear that I have things to work through, so I’m going to go away for a little bit.
I need to work on myself, and be better.
I’m just sorry that it took me doing something so awful for me to realise that I needed help.
Bethan, you’re incredible, and the fact I hurt you, is without doubt the worst thing I have ever done.
I know saying sorry isn’t enough, but I truly am so sorry.
Good luck with the Clapham Half. Good luck with everything.
I really hope that one day I can make it up to you. Until then, bye.’