Chapter 8 #2
So he took the two-hour ride with me to my father’s house in suburban Maryland.
It’s a nice upper-middle-class neighborhood, even though all the houses look the exact same.
It’s not the house we had when my mother was alive.
My dad sold that pretty quickly after she died.
He said it was too hard for him to live there without her.
Jagger mentioned a few weeks ago that her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Will, is coming by for dessert.
Vance and I scared the shit out of him this summer when we felt he was jerking her around.
Apparently, he’s been very attentive since.
I’ll be the judge of that little droopy-jeans punk who’s undeserving of my sister.
“That’s a good one, Dad,” I bellow as I calm down from his latest hilarious joke.
“Actually,” he responds, “your sister came up with that one.”
I turn to her. “You really did get the best of everyone, Jag.” I shake my head in disbelief. “I can’t believe we’re less than two years away from you going to college. Where does the time go? I feel like I was rocking you to sleep just yesterday.”
She used to fit right on my giant forearm. Sometimes neither Ashleigh nor my dad could get her to go to sleep. She wanted her big brother. I would rock her while I’d both sing and rap “Waterfalls” to her, the greatest song ever created.
“Any thoughts on where you want to go to college?” Vance asks her.
She tucks her blonde, curly hair behind her ear and nods nervously. “Um, yes. I was thinking I might like to go to a school in Philly.”
I jerk my head up. I didn’t know that. “You would?”
She gives me a small smile. “We only lived together for my first two years, and I don’t remember them. We haven’t lived in the same state since. I thought it would be cool to live near you. We can meet for dinners and stuff like that,” she says hopefully.
I can’t contain the huge grin on my face. “I would love that. Holy crap. This is the best news.”
BJ barks from her spot on the floor next to my chair. I add, “BJ is excited to have Aunt Jagger around too.”
Jagger smiles as she rubs behind BJ’s ear, and BJ sighs in contentment.
“Cool. Maybe we’ll visit sometime soon, and I’ll look at a few of the schools.
I was also thinking maybe this spring you could come to one of my softball games.
I think I’m getting pretty good. My coach thinks I might be able to play in college, but I’m not sure I’m good enough for that. ”
My father nods enthusiastically. “She’s downplaying it.
She’s a superstar, like you were. This will be a big year for her.
” He smiles at Jagger. “I’ll bet you anything that you get a few college offers to play ball, if that’s what you want to do.
The Humblecut athletic genes run strong in this one.
” He winks at Ashleigh. “She certainly didn’t get them from her mama.
” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down. “Speaking of yo mama…”
I perk up immediately while Jagger moans in malcontent. “Noooooo. Don’t go there on Thanksgiving. Pleeeeaaase,” she begs.
I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but shortly after my mother passed, my father and I began trading yo mama jokes as a way to cope with the pain.
It was his way of making me smile and started off innocently, but it’s morphed throughout the years into something much dirtier and has become a bit of a contest between my father and me.
We trade jokes back and forth until one of us breaks and laughs, which is almost always me.
Vance gets a kick out of it, so Dad always goes out of his way to do it when Vance is around.
Jagger hates it. Ashleigh giggles through most of it, as she does for just about everything else.
My father sets his fork down on his plate and looks at me with a bit of intensity. “Yo mama is so dumb, when she was driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that read Disneyland Left, so she went home.”
Vance lets out a laugh, and Ashleigh giggles uncontrollably, but I remain stoic and respond, “Yo mama is so stupid, she was told her password needed eight characters, so she typed Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”
I actually see my father’s nostril twitch. It’s hard to get him to break, but he’s damn close right now. Once again, Vance and Ashleigh laugh. Even Jagger snickers at that one.
Dad eventually regains control before staring at me in the eyes and saying, “Yo mama is like a vacuum cleaner. She sucks, she blows, and she gets laid in the closet.”
I spit out laughing, as does everyone except Jagger. She rolls her eyes, per usual. I love hearing my father laugh. It’s loud and makes the house feel like it’s shaking. I’m told I have the same laugh, but I don’t think it’s quite at his level. His always feels like home to me.
Ashleigh giggles at everything he says, whether it’s funny or not. I’m never sure if she understands half of what he says, but she always appears amused. She pats his hand and smiles. “WTF, honey.”
Jagger and I share bemused looks as I remember she told me that Ashleigh thinks WTF means, wow, that’s fantastic.
I love my family. When I get married, I want one just like it.