Chapter 16 #2
I look out the door to make sure Bailey and Harper are gone. When it appears as though they are, I ask, “Knowing Bailey is married to your ex-husband doesn’t bother you? I can’t believe how well you two get along.”
She shrugs. “What’s the alternative? Should we hate each other because society tells us we’re supposed to?
I happen to adore Bailey. She’s a wonderful person.
Tanner and I have been divorced for nearly seven years.
Bailey had nothing to do with it. They’re good together, and she loves Harper like she’s her own.
What more could I ask for in a stepmother?
At the end of the day, it’s about what’s best for my daughter.
The three of us having a healthy co-parenting relationship is best for her.
She’s happy and thriving. We’re doing something right. ”
I absorb her words. “You’re so…mature.”
She lets out a laugh. “Oh, trust me, I have my moments of immaturity too. I’m constantly questioning my life decisions. Switching from my hospital job to this one was among the biggest. I still don’t know if I did the right thing, but I can tell you this job is more fun and certainly pays better.”
“You definitely made the right decision. Everyone on the team loves you. We hated your predecessor. No one would come see him and would instead let their injuries fester.”
She scrunches her face. “That’s no good.” She sighs. “Are you sure about tomorrow? Feel free to change your mind.”
“It’s fine,” I assure her as I pull out my phone. “I just need to cancel my plans.”
Daylen and I were supposed to work out, but I’m on Fallon-mandated rest anyway. It can wait. We’ll have to find another way to get in our two dates this week.
DAYLEN
“When strippers get money with jizz on it, they have to report it to the IRS. It’s reported as gross income,” I smirk as I announce that little tidbit at Tanner’s poker table.
All the guys start laughing. Tanner, Layton, Trey, and Vance are here. Cheetah texted that he’s running late, which is code for banging Kam.
“Speaking of jizz,” Vance announces, “D is having a bit of a dry spell. I haven’t seen him go home with a woman in weeks.” He looks at me with some uncharacteristic mischief in his eyes. “When was the last time you got laid, D?”
He’s awfully opinionated for a guy who rarely used to get laid but is now secretly banging Sulley every chance he gets. His once sour demeanor is downright cheerful right now. It’s off-putting.
“Hmm,” I twist my lips as if I don’t know the exact minute I last got laid. It’s my biggest dry spell since I started having sex, and there’s nothing I can do about it. “I’m not sure of the date, but let’s just say I’m at the point where my bills come more times a month than I do.”
The guys all laugh again, but then they all share amused glances. “What am I missing?” I ask as I pop a celery stick into my mouth.
Layton shrugs. “That’s what happens right before you find the right one. You start to get fed up with the whole faceless, nameless, emotionless sex scene. The right woman enters your life and, bam,” he shouts, “she grabs you by the heart and the balls and there’s no looking back.”
Trey nods. “He speaks the truth. Listen to the man. I suppose the real question is, have you met the one and who is she?”
I have zero hesitation when I respond, “Definitely not,” but then I feel like I’ve betrayed Kennedy for some reason.
Yes, she’s my fake wife, but she’s still technically my wife.
Maybe the hate isn’t as strong as it once was, but it’s not like we’re friends.
Okay, I suppose we’ve sort of become friends over the past month.
Maybe I enjoy our workouts. Maybe I look forward to them a little more than I should. But the one? Hell no.
Bang. Bang.
I look at Tanner. “What the fuck is that noise? It’s been going on all night.”
He smiles. “Bailey and Harper are in the batting cage.” Tanner had a professional-grade batting cage installed for Harper so she could practice whenever she wants. “Harper’s championship game is tomorrow night. I’m pretty sure she’ll be out there all night.”
“How’s Bailey feeling?” I ask.
“Tired, but otherwise good.”
Trey wiggles his eyebrows up and down. “Is she horny all the time? Gemma was on sex crack when she was pregnant.”
Layton nods in agreement. “So was Arizona.” Arizona just gave birth a few weeks ago. They have a little girl named Ryan. She’s so adorable, with light blonde hair like her mom.
Tanner raises one of his dark, thick eyebrows.
“I’m not into locker room chitchat. You all know that.
” Tanner never talks about his sex life.
Even before Bailey, he was always tight-lipped.
A small smile finds his lips though. “But let’s just say I’ll be looking to wrap this up early so I can feed the beast.”
We all chuckle as Cheetah races down the stairs. “Sorry, I was late. Duty called.” He doesn’t look sorry at all. Lucky fucker.
Layton turns to him. “You were the last to arrive. What do you have for us? Hit me with some smart shit. At a minimum, you must be getting smarter by banging Kam.”
Kam might be the only person I know who’s smarter than Beau.
Cheetah nods as if in thought. “You know what? I think I am getting smarter. Intelligence by penetration. I’ll have to research if that’s a real thing.”
“Well?” Layton prods, waiting for an answer.
The Cougars play a game of whoever is last to arrive has to give the group a random fun fact. It’s kind of interesting, and no one is better than Cheetah and Kam at coming up with those fun facts.
Cheetah thinks for a brief moment before answering, “Men and women are either right or left-nippled. One is always more sensitive than the other. Kam is left-nippled. It drives her a little crazier when I lick around her left cupcake cap.”
Like morons, each of us starts tweaking our own nipples, trying to figure out which one is more sensitive.
“What are you preposterous men doing?” Harper’s little voice intrudes.
We all turn as she and Bailey stand at the bottom of the steps to the mancave basement, staring at us. Tanner clears his throat as we quickly remove our hands from our own nipples. “Oh, sweetie, Cheetah told us one of his interesting facts. We were just confirming it.”
Harper gasps. “I love fun facts. Aunt Kam has a ton of them.”
Tanner makes a look of disgust. He may love Bailey Hart, but he barely tolerates Kamryn.
“Hmm, no doubt she’s full of them. This fact was that the heart is not technically on the left side of your chest, as we’re often told.
It’s in the middle, just slightly left of center.
Not all the way over. We were trying to feel our heartbeats to confirm that. ”
Harper’s little eyebrows shoot together as she feels around the top of her chest. “Hmm, I’m not sure I feel it.”
Tanner looks almost relieved. “Well, next time you go to the doctor, be sure to ask her and let us know if it’s true.
She nods. “I will.”
Within ten seconds, she bounces onto my lap, “What’s up, Uncle Daylen?” She looks at my cards. “Oh wow, three kings, that’s a great hand.”
I don’t have three kings. The mini genius is a card shark. Bailey and Kam are professional-level poker players, and they taught Harper how to play. The little hustler conned us out of hundreds of dollars just a few weeks ago at Tanner’s bachelor party.
Harper and Bailey shared bemused looks. Layton narrows his eyes at Harper. “Does he really have three kings?”
She shrugs. “I’ll guess you’ll have to throw more money in the pot to find out, Uncle Layton.”
Harper looks up at me and winks. Little fucking devil. I love this kid.
After I win the hand, thanks to the ringer in my lap, I feel my phone buzz. Pulling it out, I see that it’s Kennedy.
Wifey: Can we reschedule tomorrow?
Why am I hit with a pang of disappointment? I look forward to our twice-weekly practice sessions.
Me: Sure thing. Everything okay, wife?
Wifey: I better not still be listed as wifey in your contacts. You’re listed as dickless in mine.
Me: The way you were limping in Vegas suggests otherwise.
Wifey: Can you feel my eyes rolling?
Me: I can! Know that you’re just a black flag emoji in my contacts. Black like your soul.
Wifey: You flatter me. You’re not really dickless in mine. You’re a red flag emoji.
Me: Your husband would like to know why you’re canceling our date.
Wifey: I’m going to a nine-year-old’s softball game.
I glance down at the little nine-year-old softball player in my lap. She smiles up at me. “Who’s wifey?”
“You’re a nosy little thing. I’ll give you a carton of Skittles if you promise not to tell anyone at this table about the name wifey.”
“Make it two cartons,” she immediately negotiates.
I narrow my eyes at her. “You’re a con artist. One carton, and I’ll come to your game tomorrow night.”
Her eyes light up. “Really?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Deal.”
We do our little, semi-complicated handshake that we’ve perfected throughout the years.
Me: I happen to have a very cute nine-year-old softball stud helping me win at poker right now. Am I correct to assume it’s Harper’s game?
Wifey: Yes. Coolest. Kid. Ever.
Me: True. I was thinking of coming to that game too.
Okay, I thought of it ten seconds ago when I found out Kennedy was going.
Wifey: See you there. That can count as one of our forced dates.
Ouch.
Me: What are you up to tonight?
Wifey: Watching a movie and deciding which vibrator to use. I have a variety of them on hand to keep me on my toes…and to help make those toes curl.
Me: Can I watch?
Wifey: No, perv.
Me: …the movie? Always assuming the worst of me, wifey.
Wifey: I’m usually right. Warning: the movie might be girlie.
Me: I love girlie movies. You know my taste in music. Doesn’t it make sense that I would like girlie movies too?
Wifey: Fair point. Fine. See you in a bit.
I lift Harper off my lap and stand. “Gotta go, boys.”
“Breaking your dry spell?” Vance asks.
“BJ needs me,” I answer.