Chapter 42
Chapter forty-two
Hendrix · Now
Jersey – Mayday Parade
Settling back against the headboard, my phone balances on my knee as I nestle my Yamaha Pacifica in my lap and test the strings once.
Riley props me up on the kitchen island.
She hops up onto a stool, readjusts her pastel purple ear defenders, and scans my face. “So you didn’t…”
I arch a brow as she trails off, a smirk tugging my lips. “Wham, bam, and thank you, ma’am?”
“Yeah.” Her nose crinkles.
I chuckle and shake my head. “We did not.”
“Well, why not? Was the kiss not good?”
“No, the kiss was fine.”
“Fine?” she asks blanky, her lips flattening into a line. “Just fine?”
Earth shattering and universe fucking exploding phenomenal, actually.
Nobody kisses like Cole Hayes.
Not that I’ve locked lips with all that many people in my life. Sure, I’ve fooled around some over the years but it’s been few and far between and nothing to write home about.
But kissing is different.
There’s something so intimate about sharing your breath with another person. I’ve never felt the need to do it with anyone else.
“It was great, Riles.” I shrug. “But as with every great moment, it was gone as quick as it came.”
“Are you two back together?”
I still, tugging the stud in my tongue until it stings.
Truth is, I have no idea what we are.
While I don’t think we’re just gonna fall back into the relationship we once had, I’m not sure how we navigate this new normal.
Cole didn't say anything about the interrupted kiss. Not that I tried, either.
Was it a one-off simply because our walls were weakened by a day of familiarity and fun? Do I walk into the studio tomorrow and act as if yesterday and this morning just didn't happen?
I busy myself tuning my electric guitar. “No.”
Riley purses her lips.
Steel bites my fingers when I press the strings.
I love Riley and how she analyses the world in a way I just can’t. But I doubt any amount of talking through this is going to ease the knots in my stomach when I wonder what comes next.
“Tell me all about you and Ax,” I say, changing the topic as I lean over my phone screen and waggle my brows. “Video calls, Riles? Are you being seduced by the bubbly bassist?”
She shakes her head. “We’re friends. I think.”
“You think?”
“I don’t know.” She lifts a shoulder, fingers bouncing on the granite counter. “We talk, sometimes. I’ve never really had friends outside of you and Talia, and even then, you’re my family. So, I don’t know how to do the friendship thing.”
“Do you enjoy talking to him?”
“Yeah.”
“Then that’s all that matters." I grab the sheet music I’ve been tinkering with since this morning. “I’m glad you’re finding new people.”
“Me too.” Her lips tug down. “But I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
I scrub my pick over my chest.
In the years Riley and I have known each other, we’ve never gone this long apart. Sometimes I wonder if we’re too co-dependent, but I think we both needed something the other could give when we met.
Riley became my lifeline in the time I really needed something to hold onto.
“Why don’t you come down?” I ask her. “I’m sure the guys won’t mind you crashing with me for a few days.”
“Aren’t you busy working?”
“Yeah, but you can hang out. If anyone’s gonna give me brutal honesty about the music, it’s you.”
The corner of her mouth twitches. “I hate the music you write.”
Laughter crawls up my throat.
Most people would probably be offended if their best friend said that, but could never be me. I love how she's unapologetic about her likes and dislikes. “You’ve never heard the music I write.”
“Axel sent me over some of their songs.”
“Oh, did he now?” I scan her face, but her expression remains placid. “And what was your feedback?”
She bounces in her stool. “It wasn’t for me. I’ll stick to my banjo tunes.”
“Fair.” I smile. “Anyway, think about coming down. I’ll speak to Saint and clear it, but I don’t see him saying no.”
“Okay.” Her mouth tilts softly and the knot in my chest eases some.
A knock sounds at the door before it swings open.
“Hey, Riles, I’m gonna get off." I slide my guitar off my lap. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Yep. I’ve got to get back to this manuscript, anyway.”
I snatch up my phone and blow a kiss into the screen. “Love you.”
“Love you. Bye.”
I end the video call.
The click of shoes on hardwood echoes through the bedroom door. Pretty sure none of the people living in this building have ever heard of boundaries. I jump off the bed and drag an oversized black hoodie over my sports bra just as Saint strolls through the open door.
“Hey,” he says, leaning against the doorframe. “You free?”
I tip my chin, lips pursing. “Depends.”
He slides a hand into his jeans pocket. “Wanna come skate with me? Teddy is at the dance studio all day, and Cole, Ax, and Carter have gone to Tommy’s for lunch.”
“Cart’s dad?”
“Yeah, he and Susan moved down here a couple years ago when he became our official manager.”
“Why didn’t you go with them?”
He shrugs. “Rather spend some time with an old friend.”
My chest warms.
Aside from the night at the skatepark, Saint and I haven’t really spoken one-on-one.
I smile. “Yeah, okay then. Give me twenty minutes? I need to shower.”
He smirks and pushes off the door. “Well I didn’t want to say anything about the smell but....”
I snatch a pillow off the bed and send it flying towards him as he slips out the doorway.
His laughter bounds through the room before he shouts, “Meet you downstairs in fifteen.”
Wind whips my damp hair, plastering it to the side of my face.
I twist my knees and roll to a stop, before kicking the board into my hand.
Saint whips past me.
A wide grin sits on his face, eyes bright and glittering. I haven’t seen him quite so free since I’ve been here. There’s always something lingering around him. A shadow weighing him down. But not today.
I twist my hair into a braid and secure it with a bobble before tugging my hood up. Then, I drop my board, plant my foot on the base, and kick off.
“You’re getting slow in your old age,” Saint says when I catch up to him.
Given the mid-day hour, the park is quiet, with only a few people milling about in the grass.
“Why do you come out here?” I ask him, tilting my head as he jumps up onto the half-pipe. “Aren’t you asking for a riot from the fans if they see you?”
Saint peeks at me from the shield of his cap.
“Sometimes, sure. But mostly people just leave you to it. Cole gets it more than any of us. Something about the whole pretty boy singer thing.” His lips tug up smugly. “The ladies flock to him.”
I snort. “Are you trying to make me jealous?”
“Is it working?”
“Absolutely not.” I chuckle. “I’ve never been the jealous type, you know that.”
“Yeah. Never could figure that out with you two.”
"What do you mean?”
“You never worried about each other,” he says, fingers drumming along the metal. “Girls were all over him in sixth form and especially after when he started getting inked, but you never cared.”
I rock my board beneath my feet. “I never had to. I always knew he was mine. No doubts about it.”
“And now?”
“And now.” I give him a flat look. “We aren’t a thing, so.”
“You trying to convince me or yourself?”
“Don’t you have your own relationship to worry about?”
“My relationship is old news, Rix.” He tugs a metal tin from his pocket and plucks a joint out. “Your relationship on the other hand…”
“Is non-existent.” I step off my board and hand it to Saint, before jumping up onto the metal beside him. I stuff my hands in hoodie pocket and twirl the ring around my middle finger. “Did you ever think we’d end up here again?”
“What? Back to being besties who dodge the important conversations?”
I force a smile and bump his shoulder, ignoring the real part of his question. “Besties, is it?”
“Never not, Rix. Even when you ignored me for ten years.”
Air thickens in my throat. “I really am sorry.”
“I know. But you’re making up for it now, right?”
“Trying to.”
I feel his gaze burning into me as I stare into the distance.
He sucks in a deep drag, before handing the joint off to me.
“Just stick around this time. That’s all you gotta do,” he says quietly.
“It’s not that easy, Saint.” I pull in a slow drag, choking down the tangy smoke as a weight settles on my chest. “I have a life to get back to.”
He pushes off the ramp and jumps onto his board. “Then I hope that life is worth it.”