Chapter 52
Chapter fifty-two
Hendrix · Now
Still Into You – Paramore
I lean against the crisp lined shelves, watching as Cole masterfully engages with the gaggle of riotous teens surrounding him.
If someone had told me two months ago, I’d be standing in Tesco on a Thursday afternoon, watching my ex-boyfriend being bombarded by his fans while other shoppers look on in wonder, I’d have laughed in their face thinking it was a cruel joke.
There wasn’t a thought in my mind that we’d ever be here.
I thought I’d given up the chance to witness him being the star I always knew he was going to be up-close. But here we are.
Cole winks at me as he messily scribbles his autograph on a girl’s arm.
My knees turn to liquid, and I tighten my hold on the trolley to keep my balance.
He’s in his element. Easy grin, booming laughter as he signs autographs and poses for pictures. His eyes, though, are only for me. Even in the chaos his gaze never strays far from mine.
It’s funny, really.
Ten years since I walked away from him, and that man still makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world—the only human in his universe.
He says something to the girl at his side, and she looks up at him with stars in her eyes, before he waves his hand in the air and slips out of the crowd.
They start to disperse, excitable chatter and awe-filled laughter echoing down the aisle as they tap away on their phones. No doubt sharing their celebrity encounter on whatever social media kids are using these days.
A grin curls my lips as butterflies come alive in my stomach.
I remember those days from when we were teenagers. Waiting outside venues for hours after shows in the hopes that we'd catch a glimpse of our favourite artists. There was nothing like the feeling of meeting someone whose music changed your life.
Cole being that person for a whole new generation is everything I ever dreamed for him.
Of all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, writing music for Reckless Abandon and helping them find their sound early on will never be one of them.
The mistake was not being at his side while he rose.
Pretty sure I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting that one.
Cole closes the distance between us, weaving our fingers together, and easing the trolley from my grip with his free hand. “Hey, baby.”
I pull in a slow breath and force my mind to the here and now.
“Can’t even go to the supermarket without being bombarded, huh?” I tease, arching a brow.
He grins down at me. “Welcome to the life of dating a rock star, Rixie.”
“Dating, is it?” I hum, my veins fluttering. “I don’t recall agreeing to that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Was I supposed to ask?” He rolls the trolley forward and drags me along with him. “I distinctly remember you just claiming me when I was sixteen years old as yours. Figured I’d do the same thing now.”
“I did no such thing.”
“‘There’s only room for one rock star in this relationship’, isn’t that what you said?”
“That was a slip of tongue.” I bump his shoulder, before tugging my phone out and checking my shopping list. “Grab four packs of tortilla chips please.”
He grabs the requested items and tosses them into the trolley. I snag sour cream and salsa. There’s something weirdly domestic about shopping with him.
It’s something we haven’t done together in years, and yet we move as one, dipping and weaving as if we do our weekly shop together all the time.
“What are you even making?” he asks when we peruse the fridges.
“Mexican food,” I tell him.
It’s my first ‘family’ dinner tomorrow with all the guys and Theo, and I’m fucking terrified. This is their thing. A tradition they started after I’d gone. I tried to get out of it, but Cole is nothing if not persistent.
Not to mention he tagged Saint in, who after getting me stoned and pouring vodka down my throat during our jam session, had me agreeing before I even realised what I’d said yes to.
“Are you making your fajitas?” Cole asks, eyeing the chicken in my hands.
I arch a brow. “Is Gerard Way still the hottest man in the world?”
“That’s not how you say my name, Rixie.’
“I said what I said,” I deadpan, though the corner of my lip twitches. “But yes to fajitas.”
He gives me a look, his eyes glinting under the LEDs. “You know what that means?”
A grin splits my face as a memory swirls.
“Frozen margs?”
Frozen margaritas were always our thing whenever I cooked at his house back then. His mum and dad would go out on date nights, and we’d have our own at-home dates. Music, movies, food, and since Cole can’t cook, he always took on drinks duty instead.
“Frozen margs, baby.” He spins the trolley, pushes onto the balls of his feet, and slides down the aisle. He disappears around the end, his voice echoing back to me. “Meet you at the freezers!”
Laughter bubbles up my throat.
How is this the same man who stands centre stage in a stadium and commands an audience of tens of thousands with his presence alone?
When he told me he was still the same Cole Hayes, I wasn’t entirely sure I believed that to be true. But he really is that same boy I fell in love with when I was just a kid.
Now if I can just figure out how to tell him all the deepest parts of myself; maybe we really do have a chance to make it last forever this time.
Well, assuming all goes well with dinner tonight. If I can’t fit back into this family we created together—the one that continued to thrive without me—then who knows where that leaves us.
I grab the last of the food we need and juggle it under my arms as I trail through the aisles.
Cole waits by the freezers as promised, the trolley stacked with far more things than what I wrote on my list.
My brow dips.
I point to the box of Monopoly stuffed in the child seat. “Really?”
He shrugs, a crooked grin lighting his face. “Who doesn’t love a good board game, Rixie?”
“You’re a rock star. Pretty sure you’re meant to be playing ring of fire or something.” I chuckle, spying the Trivial Pursuit buried beneath the blankets he definitely doesn’t need. “Dude! Did you ransack the whole shop?”
“Maybe a little.” He shifts his weight, throwing an arm over my shoulder as he presses a kiss to my hair. “I haven’t been to a big Tesco in years. Who knew they had all this stuff in here?”
I curl my hands around the trolley, mouth twitching when I peek at him from the corner of my eyes. “You’re a child.”
He hums, his grin widening. “But you love me.”
A breath catches in my lungs and I trip over air. The trolley rolls beneath me, blood rushes through my ears, and everything blurs as those four words hit me like a lightning strike.
If Cole notices my world spinning on its axis, he doesn’t show it. He just grabs the trolley and steers it towards the tills.
I don’t move.
Not sure I can.
The words run on a loop in my head.
So simple and so fucking true.
It’s taken me years to box up those feelings for him and bury them so deep inside me that I can pretend they don’t exist. And here he comes, smashing that box wide open in a freezing cold aisle without even realising he’s done it.
I blink, emotion crawling up my throat, as I watch Cole saunter down the aisle.
He pauses, glancing back over his shoulder, and holds wiggling fingers out towards me. “You coming?”
A beat passes.
Then I jerk forward, chasing after him the way I should have all those years ago.
His lips tug down when I reach him, and he brushes my fringe out of my eyes. “Are you good?”
I thread trembling fingers through his and push up onto my tiptoes. I seal our lips together. He squeezes my hip. My chest thumps as I pour all the things I don’t know how to say into this kiss. “I’m good.”