Chapter 55
Chapter fifty-five
Cole · Now
Cat and Mouse – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
The crackle of a fire plays through the speakers, the red flames flickering over the TV screen while chatter hums around me.
I bounce my foot off the floor and tap my fork along the edge of the table.
Carter watches me from the edge, a brow raised. You good? he mouths.
I nod, though good is the last thing I feel. My gut is churning. Fear, hope, everything fucking else in between swirls inside of me like a tidal wave.
Everything’s about to change.
The life Hendrix and I built years ago is about to collide head-on with the family I made without her.
Introducing her to the twins seems like a good idea on paper, but what if she hates them? What if she hates me for not telling her they exist? What if stepping into a family that’s spent six years rebuilding without her is something she can’t handle? What if she doesn’t even want it?
Kids aren’t something Hendrix and I ever talked about when we were together.
We didn’t need to. They were never on our radar.
The girls, though … they’re not mine, but I love them as if they are. And I know Saint, Axel, and Theo feel the same.
It’s hard not to when we’ve watched every second of their short lives up until now—from nappies, to tottering up and down the steel stairs, to falling in love with music.
Hendrix is the first ‘outsider’ Carter has ever let in, and she doesn’t even know it yet. That’s terrifying because while they’re my life, she’s my heart. I wasn’t lying when I told Carter I’d walk away from everything for her.
I just hope like hell I don’t have to.
Saint taps a knife to the neck of his glass and shoves his chair back before standing.
I drop my fork, swallowing the lump in my throat as I look his way.
“I think we need to make a toast.” His eyes are glassy, his stance lax as he sways side to side. Pretty sure I made the margaritas a little too strong. He waves the glass in Hendrix’s direction, liquid spilling over the rim. “To my second favourite human in the whole world.”
“Are you telling me I come in third place?” I scoff, something easing inside me as Hendrix chuckles at my side.
“You’re just an extension of me at this point, you needy fuck.” He winks. “Rix, I think I speak for all of us when I say we’re very grateful you exist and that you agreed to come back and work with Cole. Because honestly, life truly fucking sucked without you.”
“I mis—”
“And if you think about abandoning me for another ten years, I’ll throw your fucking Hummingbird in the Thames.”
She hisses through clenched teeth, shaking her head as her lips tug up. “And there it is. Should have known you couldn’t play nice for longer than three seconds.”
“I’ll show you nice,” he grumbles.
Then his face straightens, his gaze zeroing in on her. “I love you, Hendrix Moore.”
Hendrix blinks, her mouth popping open, her fingers finding mine under the table.
I don’t think he’s ever said that to her before.
He rarely says those words to anyone outside of me and Theo.
Maybe he’s feeling the fear too, that what’s to come could tear her away from us all over again.
I twist Hendrix’s hand so her fingers are locked in mine.
She exhales a sharp, short breath, before a beaming smile lights up her face. “How drunk are you right now?”
“Fucking sloshed, bestie.”
Hendrix just shakes her head.
Saint drops back into his chair, his own face bright with joy as Theo weaves their fingers together.
“That was very good, baby,” Theo says, kissing his cheek. “Super proud of you and all your big emotions.”
He preens under her attention, arching a brow as he looks at me.
Smug fucker stole my fucking thunder. Only he could throw out the words before I got the chance. Not that there should be any doubt. I’ve never not loved Hendrix Moore.
Axel claps a hand on the table. “Are we toasting or making love declarations or what?”
“All of the above,” Saint says, downing the rest of his glass in one. “To Hendrix, to love, to this fucked up family we chose. May it never change, no matter what comes next.”
“What he said, I guess.” Axel raises his glass in the air, and spins to face Hendrix. “We love you. Thank you for coming back to us, Rix. And please don’t run away again.”
So, we’re all feeling it then. Glad to know I’m not alone.
Hendrix glances over us all, her eyes dulling a beat. “Is now the time I talk? Pretty sure I owe you all an apology and really, what better time to do it than when I’m three sheets to the wind?”
Carter clears his throat.
“Just hold that thought,” he says, straightening his shoulders as he pushes his chair back. “I have something I need to tell you.”
She swallows. “Okay.”
He tilts his head, scanning her face.
The air grows thick as deafening silence curls around us.
I hold my breath, my legs quaking under my fight to keep them still.
“See, the thing is,” Carter starts, his voice tight. “And don’t be angry at the others, it was my decision to keep them from you, not theirs.”
Hendrix’s grip tightens, the rings adorning her fingers clinking with mine.
“Almost seven years ago, something happened, something big, huge, mammoth really.”
Saint pinches the bridge of his nose as Axel grimaces.
Carter doesn’t ramble. Ever. He’s the most composed of us all, always.
I’ve never seen him this rattled. Unless you count the day Noah went into labour. Not sure we should, though—extenuating circumstances and all.
“I mean it wasn’t actually that big, you know. Guy meets a girl, bangs her in a festival toilet, all that fun stuff.” Carter's cheeks redden and he winces.
Hendrix blinks. “This is a great story, Carter, really. But I don’t get what your sex life has to do with me.”
“Well, the big stuff is what came after.” Carter chokes on a laugh. “Eight months after, to be exact."
I feel it as every inch of her locks in place. “What are you saying?”
“I have kids, Rix.” Carter exhales slowly. “Two of them. Twins.”
His words cut through the air like a knife, hanging heavy over the table.
Hendrix’s fingers turn to ice, tensing beneath mine. “Oh my God.”
“I should have told you earlier, I just didn’t know how to.”
“But you—“
The door creaks open.
Noah pokes her head around her frame. “Did the oaf spill the beans yet or what?”
Nobody answers her as Hendrix’s attention stays fixed on Carter.
She says nothing. I’m not even sure she’s actually seeing him. Her eyes are dull, her expression blank.
This isn’t close to the reaction I was expecting.
Not sure what I was, really. Anger at being kept in the dark all the time she’s been here, maybe. Sadness that she missed out on their lives. Betrayal that we all kept this great whopping secret from her.
But not whatever this is.
“Okay then,” Noah says, her brow dipping. “Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I couldn’t hold them back any longer.”
Giggles wash over us when the door swings wide, the soft pitter patter of little footsteps echoing off the hardwood.
“Holy,” Lyrics says, careening to a stop right next to Hendrix’s chair.
Melody bounds next to her eyes wide in amazement. “Ship!”
Lyric doesn’t bother with introductions. She just throws herself into a frozen Hendrix’s lap, wraps her arms around her neck, and burrows herself deep into her chest. “Hi, Auntie Rixie. We missed you.”
My heart thrashes.
Hendrix doesn’t move a muscle.
The seconds drag out as Lyric squeezes Hendrix with all her might. Melody watches on from the side, silent but unwavering as she places a tiny, wiggling hand on her sister’s back.
She’s different from her twin. Less vocal, but no less emotional. She absorbs everything around her. All our emotions, all our energy. For someone so little, she feels too much sometimes.
Hendrix’s fingers tremble beneath mine.
I squeeze them, trying to pour my warmth into her.
Her lashes batter furiously.
“Rixie.”
She shakes her head.
I bite my tongue.
“Say something,” Carter pleads with her, his eyes dull as they flicker over every inch of her face. “Cuss me out. Scream at me. Hit me if you must. But please just say something, Rix.”
She clenches her eyes shut, her teeth tugging hard at the ball in her lip.
Lyrics peers up at her. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want. Melly doesn’t do it a lot.”
Hendrix releases her stud and peers down at the little girl in her lap.
Time slows as she watches Lyric.
“Melly?” she asks, finally.
“My twin, Melody.” Lyric grins, tugging her sister in closer.
“Right.” Hendrix blinks. “And which one are you?”
“I’m Lyric, silly.”
Hendrix’s lips quiver. “You know, only one person has ever called me Rixie.”
“We know,” Lyric tells her.
“Uncle Coley,” Melody says. “But he said we could share the name with him.”
“He did, huh?”
Melody nods. “He said it was a really special name and only really special people get to use it.”
My pulse slows as Hendrix flicks wet eyes my way for a single beat, before she moves them between the girls.
“So that must mean you two are really special, then,” she whispers.
Lyric bobs her head as the corner of Melody’s mouth twitches.
“Will you play us music one day?” Melody asks.
“You like music?” Hendrix’s voice cracks.
“Duh.” Lyric pulls a face. “We’re rock princesses. Daddy and our uncles have been playing us music forever.”
Hendrix sucks in a hard breath.
I grip the leg of her chair with my free hand and pull her as close as possible to my side.
“Rixie, if this is too much,” I say quietly, brushing my knuckles against her cheek, “we can run away right now. You and me. Just say the word.”
If she hears my offer, she doesn’t respond as she turns to Carter. “You share music with them?”
“Of course we share music with them.” Carter shrugs, shifting his weight. “We share everything with them. Lyric is gonna be a drumming pro just like her daddy one day.”
Lyric beams. “Damn right.”
A harsh broken sob tears from Hendrix as her gaze collides with mine. “You share music with them.”