Chapter 65
Chapter sixty-five
Cole · Then
If It Means A Lot To You – A Day To Remember
Twenty-One Years Old
Lightning rips through the dark clouds.
Hands shoved deep in my pockets, I follow the clink of wheels through the tree-lined path.
Floodlights bounce off the wet ramps, sliding across Hendrix like a spotlight.
Her hair is pulled into a tight ponytail, and she’s wearing a tight-fitting black hoodie—a hoodie that’s not mine for the first time in five years—that’s doing nothing to shield her from the trickling rain.
My chest knots, ice settling deep into my bones.
I climb onto the half-pipe as she drops her knees and glides across the rain-slicked metal. If she notices my arrival, she doesn’t show it. Not like she’s not expecting me, I guess. She’s the one who asked to meet here in the middle of the night.
Air lodges in my lungs as the board rocks beneath her.
She teeters on the edge of the deck, her eyes slamming closed before she loses the battle.
The board crashes, Hendrix drops, and my stomach sinks as she exhales a slow, ragged breath into the sky.
Then she shifts and her blank stare locks with mine.
Everything heightens.
The lighting spears brighter, the rain lashes harder, the wind whips sharper.
I knew this day was coming.
But fuck if I’m not ready for it.
Not sure there will ever be a day I’m ready for Hendrix Moore to walk away from me.
I choke down the bile crawling up my throat. “Why are you doing this, Rixie?”
She lifts a shoulder as she bridges the distance with slow, measured steps. “It doesn’t work anymore.”
I search every inch of her face, looking for my girl in the depths, but she’s nowhere to be found.
Shaking my head, I bite my tongue until I taste blood. “You’re lying.”
“Am I?” She tilts her head, a ghost of a sad smile flickering over her lips before they flatten. “We never see each other. We barely talk. You’re busy. I’m busy. We knew this wouldn’t last.”
“That’s fucking bullshit. We had a plan.”
“Plans change.”
“Not ours.” I shake my head and dig my thumb into the Hummingbird on my wrist. “Whatever the hell you’ve convinced yourself, you’re wrong. It works. We work.”
Her gaze follows my hand, a muscle jumping in her cheek.
“I can’t do this.” She exhales a short breath. “I thought I could do the girlfriend of a rock star thing, but it’s just not for me.”
I blink, my eyelids stinging. “Do you want me to quit?”
She blinks, a breath puffing from her.
“I’ll do it.”
My chest aches when she says nothing.
“I’ll do anything, if you just fucking ask.”
For a split second, I see a crack. Gold flashes behind her green eyes and I think maybe I’ve got her. But it’s gone as quick as it comes.
“No,” she says, sharp and firm. “I don’t want you to quit. It won’t fix anything.”
“You said there was nothing to fix.” I scrub my hand over my chest. “That we were okay. That we were gonna be okay.”
She shrugs, hands clenching at her side. “I lied.”
“I don’t believe you, Rixie.” I jump down, the toes of my Vans aligning with hers. “This isn’t how we end.”
“I don’t know what to tell you.” Her usually husky voice is flat, cold, brittle, and fake as fuck. “You have a whole life to live, a legacy to build. You have to be out there, and I can’t follow you.”
I slide my hand along her cheek, bury my fingers into her hair, and press my forehead to hers.
“Why?” My voice cracks.
She doesn't answer.
I slam my eyes shut when she curls icy fingers around my wrist.
“I love you, Rixie Moore.”
“I know.” She squeezes her hand, her breath coasting over my lips. “But you have to let me go.”
I sink my other hand into her hair. “What if I can’t?”
A soft press of her lips to the corner of mine.
I tremble.
Then, she eases my hands away with a gentle tug, before dropping them, and stepping back slowly.
“Rixie—”
My breath catches, my stomach clenches, and pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt pricks at every inch of me as she turns away.
“Please don’t do this.”
She falters.
Her back snaps straight as if jerked by a string.
I inch forward.
My arms tense with the need to reach out to her—to pull her back in as rain crashes around her and thunder roars across the sky.
Her shoulders lift slowly before she drops them. She twists her neck, her eyes catching mine for a final time.
The corner of her mouth curves up.
My heart shatters into a million pieces as I follow the glistening tear that rolls down her cheek.
A beat passes.
Her voice cuts through the silence, “Go chase those dreams of ours, Rock Star.”
And then, she’s gone.
A shoulder rocks mine.
I don’t look away from the path Hendrix took.
A click sounds, fire blazing in the air as Saint sparks a joint.
I hug my knees tighter to my chest.
Smoke curls around me, the tangy scent cutting through the crisp autumn air.
I inhale a slow breath and close my eyes. “She left me.”
He doesn’t say anything. Not sure what he can say.
I went after her, but she just disappeared. It’s like she was never really here at all.
Saint flicks the unfinished joint to the metal and draws in a sharp breath.
Then he throws his arms around me and squeezes me into him.
Heat rolls off his body but it does nothing to chase away the bitter chill in my bones.
I grip the sides of his hoodie, trying to anchor myself. “She’s gone, Saint.”
He cups the back of my head and pushes his forehead into mine.
“She’ll come back,” he whispers. “She has to come back.”
My lungs ache as a sob rips from deep inside me.
His breath catches and he clenches his eyes shut. “Just hold on, okay?”