Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Julia Tutwiler Prison For Women
Wetumpka, Alabama
Six months ago…
“Why, Lily?” Magnolia’s voice was annoyed.
Disgruntled. “Why on earth do you want to talk to them? They aren’t going to be like you.
You aren’t going to have some magical connection.
It’s not going to be all—snap. ” She snapped her fingers.
Polish gleamed on her painted nails. A soft peach.
A woman on death row with perfectly manicured hands.
“You have a soulmate. Someone who understands your poor, traumatic past.” A huff.
“Everyone is a victim these days. Have you noticed? It’s so tiresome. ”
Lily kept her spine perfectly straight. “My mother is a serial killer. She’s on death row. Sorry to point this out, but that pretty much does qualify as me having a traumatic past.”
“Oh, pooh.”
Pooh. Because her mother didn’t curse. After all, she was a lady. A murdering lady, but a lady, nonetheless. Lily almost rolled her eyes. She would have, if she hadn’t known such a gesture would completely set off Magnolia. Lots of things set off Magnolia in this world.
“You have an interesting past,” Magnolia corrected her. “You have a mother who is world-famous. A woman who has gotten movies and books written about her. I am a celebrity.” A pleased grin. “Because of me, you are, too. You are famous because of me. Never forget that.”
“I never wanted to be famous.” In fact, she’d spent most of her life trying to hide in the shadows. She liked the shadows. The sun was far too bright. If you weren’t careful, it would burn you.
“Well, I never wanted to be locked away in prison, but here I am…because of you.” A despondent sigh. “The things we do for our children.”
Lily maintained her expression. “Do you regret that? Being locked up, because of me?” It wasn’t my fault. Blame me all you want, but no one else made you kill. You chose everything you did.
“I have no regrets in this life. There is no point in regret. I’ve told you this before. Regret does nothing but waste energy and give you a headache. I hate headaches.”
Yes. Her mother did hate regrets. And bad language. And boring parties. And men who lied to her. Men who used her. She hated them most of all. “I’m not looking for a soulmate.” There would never be a soulmate for her in this world.
“Of course, you are.” Magnolia rolled her eyes. “You don’t want to be alone. Humans are not solitary creatures. We crave companionship. Not like we want to walk through the giant void of life all alone.”
“That should be on a greeting card.”
Magnolia snapped to attention. “Lily Oleander Gallo. Did you just make a joke? Is the sky falling? The world ending?”
“Thank you, Mother. Always nice to be appreciated.”
“I do appreciate you.” Softer. “You are the one thing in my life I appreciate above all else. You are my forever companion. The reason I will never walk through the void alone. Even at my worst, at my most damaged, you never turned on me. You never will.”
Lily’s chest ached.
“I appreciate you, my beautiful daughter, but you are far too serious. When you were younger, I used to worry that you didn’t even know how to smile.
” Magnolia leaned forward. “You want to find the others out there because you want to think that you don’t all have to turn out like your parents.
Fair enough. Done. I’ll go ahead and make a prediction right here and now.
They won’t all be wretchedly evil. I’m not wretchedly evil.
I was simply getting rid of the disappointments in my life. ”
“No, you were murdering men, Mother.”
“Disappointments.”
They stared at each other.
“They lie to you, Lily.” Her mother wet her lips. “They use you. They twist up your goodness. Then they try to cast you aside when they are done.”
Lily leaned forward, her pose matching her mother’s. No, mirroring hers. “Got to say, walking through the void all alone sounds way better than leaving a pile of bodies in my wake.”
Magnolia didn’t blink. “The trick is to eliminate them before they eliminate you.”
Yes, her mother had perfected that trick. Or, she’d almost perfected it. The almost part that had led to her being locked away.
“I tried to love,” her mother admitted. “I tried to love them all. Maybe…” Softer.
“Maybe part of the problem was on my end. I can love you. I just do. No effort. It’s like breathing with you.
But the others…” A shake of her head. “The connection isn’t there.
They disappoint me. Then they die.” Her gaze sharpened.
“Do you think it will be the same for you? Do you think you won’t be able to love a mate? ”
“I’m not looking for a mate.” She would not make that mistake. “I’m looking for—”
“Someone to understand your darkness. Someone who won’t fear you. Someone who can protect you, even from yourself.” A nod. “That’s what I wanted, too. But I never found that person.”
Lily rose. The chair legs screeched as they slid over the floor. “Of course, you did, Mother. You have me.”
“Yes, I do, don’t I?” A slow smile bloomed on Magnolia’s face. She’d never had trouble smiling. She used her smile as a trick—a weapon—all the time.
Lily turned for the door.
“Be careful.” A rare warning from Magnolia.
Lily darted a glance at the watchful guard. Jesse Baker hadn’t made a sound during her talk with Magnolia. She knew he’d paid careful attention to every word, though, and would probably report the conversation immediately to the warden.
“There’s an old saying,” Magnolia told her. “‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.’”
Lily looked over her shoulder at her mother. “I am not you.” I will not be like you. I can change. I can stop.
“Perhaps not, but the others could be just like their parents. And if you get attacked again, prison guards might not be there to pull a killer off you. You might not walk away with a jagged scar on your stomach. You might not walk away at all.” Magnolia’s lips pressed together.
“If that happens, I will be very upset.”
“Oh, no. I can’t have you upset. Not like I want you to start poisoning guards.”
The guard choked.
“I was joking,” Lily told him.
But…
She hadn’t been. Because as Magnolia had pointed out before, she wasn’t really the type to joke. Lily spent her days and nights being far too serious. Far too aware of the darkness that was waiting to wrap around her like the greedy lover that it was.
For her whole life, she’d walked a tightrope with her mother. Always trying to keep Magnolia content. Always trying to keep her mother’s emotions regulated. Because when Magnolia wasn’t content, when she wasn’t controlled…
She tended to murder someone.
“If my mother offers you any tea,” she told the guard, “don’t drink it.”
A sharp gasp from Magnolia. “As if I would do that! Jesse is my friend!”
Lily raised an eyebrow.
“Besides, they don’t just give me teapots here in maximum security, Lily.” A huff from her mother. “Not like one can just snag poison from thin air.”
The guard relaxed.
Then Magnolia…winked.