22. Tatiana
Chapter twenty-two
Tatiana
My pussy aches, and my panties are flooded.
I had no idea going down on someone would turn me on so much, but watching the effect I had on Lev while he was in my mouth was addicting.
I felt powerful. Maybe for the first time in my entire life - except for when I’m riding.
When Juliet and I are in perfect sync, flying across an open field, I feel invincible.
But that feeling comes from within - from years of practice, honing my skill, of learning to communicate with Juliet flawlessly, and the feeling of flying.
I’ve never felt in control of another human being before. Or powerful when it came to someone else. I’m always the dinner party accessory, the doll to be dressed and placed and paraded out for my parents whenever they wanted me to.
But even though I’m on my knees for Lev, I know that I’m the one in charge.
Watching the tendons of his neck strain under the pressure, watching his nostrils flare and his chest heave - I know that if I got up and walked away, I totally could.
I am in charge of his pleasure. I am commanding his body. And he 's letting me.
I’m starting to think that these men have been in front of me this entire time, but I was so busy looking for forever, looking for perfect, that I missed the men right in front of me.
In my mind, they were always off limits, so I shoved them neatly into a box labeled “not the one” and left it at that.
But the way Mik kisses the breath out of me, the way Roman couldn’t help but touch me, the way Lev so easily gave into my idea of a free-for-all...
makes me realize they’ve been much closer to breaking than I ever knew.
I feel bad for not seeing them that way until now, but I’m eager to make up for lost time.
Knowing this entire thing has an expiration - tomorrow, two years from now - eases some of the pressure I have to be perfect and do everything right.
I trust these men with my life. I know they’re not going to judge me if my blow job technique is clumsy or I don’t know what I’m doing in bed.
It’s a perfect scenario. I can learn from them, get all of my wild oats sown, and then be ready for my future husband with a confidence I don’t have right now because I don’t know what I’m missing.
I let out a surprised “oof” when Lev wraps his arms around me and carries me to the middle of the mattress on the floor.
And, honestly, what girl is lucky enough to lose her virginity with three gorgeous guys, in a charming cabin, in the middle of the woods, beneath a romantic fireplace?
It’s like that scene from Beauty and the Beast where everything changes, and Belle shouts back at him for getting hurt.
Except make it three beasts and sexy times.
Lev tugs my sleep shirt over my head, and my arms instinctively wrap around myself to cover. I’m not insecure about my body at all, but I’ve also never had someone see me naked like this. Lev sees it, and it gives him pause.
“Are you okay with this? I’m sorry... I didn’t ask...”
I like this version of Lev. He’s sweet and considerate. I understand why he doesn’t show this side often, but I really like this side of him. And I think I like it more that maybe I’m the only person he shares this side with.
I suck in a deep breath and pull from some unknown strength I have inside me to be seen. I drop my arms to my sides and let him look. I know having his cock in my mouth a second ago was intimate, but this almost feels more so. Getting him off is one thing - being so seen is another.
His dark eyes eat up my chest hungrily, and suddenly I wonder how I compare to every other woman he’s seen naked. And I know he’s seen plenty. He and Niko never shied away from talking about their conquests, and even after starting as my bodyguard, he would sneak away when off duty.
But the way his eyes soften as he takes me in, the way they heat, I suddenly don’t care. He’s here, now, with me, and it looks like he likes what he sees.
“May I?” he asks, tugging at my leggings, and I almost laugh out loud.
This was the same Lev who pinned me against the wall and wrapped his hand around my neck.
Now, suddenly, he’s found his manners. But honestly, I think that’s what gives me the courage to continue.
He’s not in charge. He’s not demanding or taking anything; he’s asking. He’s letting me use him selflessly.
I nod, biting my bottom lip. I may be aching, I may be nervous, but I’m fully in on this experience.
He drags my leggings down slowly, as if he’s unwrapping a present he wants to savor. Now, insecurity does flood me, and I cover my core with my hands.
“I... I... I haven’t shaved...” I stammer. I’m normally good about waxing and shaving at home, but between the hospital for Roman and preparing for the storm, I hadn’t bothered. If you’d told me yesterday I’d be naked and on display for these three men to devour me, I’d never have believed you.
Lev’s returning smile is indulgent.
“You think a little hair’s going to stop me?” And the teasing Lev I know so well is back, but it’s as if we’re on the same team this time.
He gently grips my knees and spreads them open.
“Wha... what are you doing?”
“Returning the favor,” he say quickly, dropping to his elbow.
“Oh. Uh. You really don’t have to. I’ve never...”
His smile softens as he kisses the inside of my thigh.
He shakes his head softly, letting his five o’clock shadow scrape the skin there deliciously.
“It’s not a favor. I shouldn’t have said that.
Tasting you is a gift. Any man is lucky to be able to taste you on his tongue, no matter what. You remember that, yeah?”
It’s not so easy for me. I worry I taste weird, or different, or bad, let’s be honest. Even in porn, going down on a girl seems more like a check in the box than anything.
I can imagine a director somewhere off screen saying, “Make it look like you want to be here for twenty-five seconds and then we can move on.”
I’ve never heard it described as a gift.
Even in the romance novels I read, it’s there, and it always sounds amazing, but it’s never like the guy feels lucky to be down there.
A few books I’ve read, where the main male character gets off by going down on his lady, are top tier, but even I know that’s fantasy, right?
“Can I taste you?” Lev asks. I look at Mik, whose face is stony, but watching, to Roman over my shoulder, who’s simply watching, likely ready to step in if things go bad.
I look back at Lev, waiting for me patiently. Fuck it. If I’m going to explore my sexuality, it’ll have to include this. I need to know whether this is something I even like or not.
So, I rest my head back against the mattress and nod.
The first swipe of his tongue has me practically levitating off of the mattress. I clamp my legs around his head, boxing his face between my thighs comically. He grins up at me in the firelight and gently pulls my knees apart again.
“Don’t keep my new favorite dessert away from me, princess.”
A violent shiver wracks through me, and I will my muscles to relax. I don’t know what I was expecting, but the warm wetness of his tongue, the foreignness of the feeling, is making me lightheaded. He’s tasting the most intimate parts of me.
I’m determined to see this through, so I throw my arm over my eyes to hide my face so I don’t overthink what it’s doing, and he laps at me again like I’m a goddamn ice cream cone. I whine, my pussy clenching around air, wanting more, wanting less; I don’t even know.
He wraps his arms around my thighs and drags me harder against his face.
His beard burns the sensitive skin on the inside of my thighs, but all I can feel is his tongue, thrusting in and out of me wickedly.
It’s not enough to get me anywhere near an orgasm, but it’s delicious and naughty and sinful.
I can’t help the moans that pour out of me.
But when he drags his tongue up my slit and circles my sensitive clit, my hand slams onto the back of his head as my back arches.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, Lev. Yes. Right there. Oh God,” I blubber, half English, half Russian, I think.
“Mik, wanna help?” Lev asks, nodding his head toward me before his tongue circles my clit again.
Before I know what’s happening, the top half of me is being lifted and nestled down again against Mikhail’s chest. We’ve been in this same position a million times - watching TV, cuddling before bed - but never naked.
His warm hands coast up my ribs, causing me to shiver, as his fingers trace the curve just below my breasts, but never where I want them.
I want his fingers on my aching nipples; I want his mouth there; I want everything.
I moan my complaint until Mik cups my heavy breasts with his calloused hands, pulling a gasp from me. Mik’s touching me. Like this. Touching me like I never thought he would. Crossing that line with him feels way more scary than crossing it with Lev or Roman. This is my best friend.
The forbiddeness of it has my pussy tingling and every inch of his skin on mine vibrating.
When I turn to look up at him, to make sure we’re still okay, and that by the end of this arrangement we’ll still be as close as ever, he presses his lips to mine and takes my mouth in the world’s most decadent kiss.
It’s slow, leisurely, testing, like we have all the time in the world.
He rolls my nipples between his fingers gently, and the coiling tight in my lower abdomen explodes, and I come on a long moan, gripping Lev’s short hair in my fists and arching back against Mik.
He caresses me through it, whispering in my ear how beautiful I look, how perfect I am, how much he can’t believe he gets to touch me this way.
When I come down from my high, my entire body is more relaxed than I think it’s ever been before. My pussy tingles pleasantly, and a warm, content sensation washes over my entire being. Oh. So this is what I’ve been missing.
I like this.
I’m vaguely aware of Roman standing up from the couch before leaving the room. A part of me should feel guilty or bad that he hasn’t participated yet, but I’m too loopy and happy to really care much. He comes back a moment later anyway, placing something on the edge of the mattress.
“You done for the night, baby, or ready for more?” Roman asks, and I hum happily in response, stretching my limbs out and feeling the ache in my muscles. Besides painting and riding, I don’t work out, so my body aches pleasantly.
But, if I only get this for a day or two, I’m going to enjoy every second of it.