Chapter Thirteen #2
He gave Nolan’s head a yank down, and Nolan followed with ease, first wrapping his mouth around James’s tip.
The wet heat of his mouth sent a vicious bolt of lust through him, and he was grateful he was on the ground right now.
He yanked again, and Nolan swallowed another few inches, then gagged, saliva dribbling down his cock.
James kept his hand on Nolan’s head as he gave him time to adjust.
Nolan dipped his head and swallowed him down again, this time taking even more of his length.
James’s breaths quickened. Fuck. This man would push him over the edge faster than planned.
However, he had a promise to deliver. He tugged Nolan’s hair again, hard enough for pain, and Nolan’s moan hummed around his length.
Fuck. Nolan didn’t even brace himself, no, the man descended the rest of the way, swallowing all of him down his throat.
The snug squeeze sent a furious burst of lust through him, and James sucked in a sharp breath to keep his control.
Nolan’s face was buried in his crotch, the soft puffs of breath from his nose against James’s skin.
And the sight of him there, his green strands wrapped in James’s hands, his lips placed around his cock, those pretty eyes staring up at him, watering.
The eyeliner smeared, and a vicious urge bubbled up inside him.
“You look so good sucking my cock,” James purred, his voice low and gravelly. “You’ll be a drooling, sobbing mess once I’m done with you.”
A whimper vibrated around his cock again, and a thrill exploded inside him.
James gave Nolan’s hair another tug, and then he began to shift his hips.
Nolan bobbed up and down on his cock in tandem to the snap of his hips, and James slowly built up steam.
Each thrust was a little harder, a little faster as he luxuriated in the feel of this man’s throat, the tight, hot squeeze as he sucked him so damn well.
James snapped his hips up, and more drool escaped Nolan, smearing around his groin, dribbling down his balls to the floor beneath them.
The foyer lights glared down on them, and the way the need pulsed through his system made the air a thousand degrees hotter.
A grunt escaped James as Nolan met him on the next thrust, sucking harder.
James lost himself in the synchronicity of their movements, in the sweat prickling on his forehead, in the sharper breaths he drew with each pass.
Nolan’s moans hummed around his cock, the vibrations bringing him closer and closer as he fucked into his mouth with more urgent thrusts.
Fuck. He needed to come so badly it was unreal, but he also needed this—to unravel, to let go of the ironclad control he’d been holding onto, like a clenched fist, for close to two years now.
He gripped Nolan’s hair tightly and rode his face with a roughness that surprised him. “Tap my side if you need out, baby,” he purred. “But damn, you’re sucking me down so well. This pretty little mouth is perfection.”
More drool gushed from Nolan’s mouth, his eyeliner streaking as tears streamed down his cheeks. Seeing him undone like that sparked a feral aggression inside him that had been restless for so long, an itch he’d sorely needed to scratch.
James’s hips snapped forward viciously now, each one sending his cock tunneling down Nolan’s throat. Nolan gagged on it, and James pulled back for a second as Nolan sucked in a noisy, raspy breath, only to dive in again. He swallowed him, and James started the rhythm all over.
“That’s right, baby,” he continued. “You’re such a good little cocksucker. Made to take this thick cock, aren’t you? Bet you love it when your throat’s raw afterward, when your hole still aches from taking it rough. Such a pretty pain slut.”
Nolan whimpered, his eyes wide as he sucked hard.
Fuck. He felt too damn good. The tight hot squeeze of his throat was bringing him closer and closer.
James gave another sharp tug to Nolan’s silken strands, continuing to piston into Nolan’s hot mouth.
The snap of his hips, the tunnel of Nolan’s throat, all of it elevated him higher and higher.
His balls ached, so damn full, so damn heavy.
A few drops of sweat trickled down his temple, to his chin.
His chest burned with the same need, which grew hotter and more intense with every thrust. His world tunneled into the moment, to the press of the hardwood beneath his ass, to the gorgeous man sucking him down, those brown eyes bright.
To the bliss pouring through him with each pass.
His balls drew up, the thread pulling so tight that it was inevitable.
“Fuck, baby,” James purred. “I’m going to come.”
His release slammed into him—slow and sudden in the same breath, like a ship crashing ashore.
His cum shot out of him, and the pleasure flooded through his system in a fierce sweep.
His breath hitched, his world turned upside down, and his vision went blank.
James sailed on the crest of his orgasm as he relaxed his grip on Nolan’s hair.
Nolan swallowed his cum in gentle tugs, another residual spurt following the initial burst, and James couldn’t stop watching the way the man handled him.
He kept his mouth wrapped around his length even as James’s cock began to flag, as it grew sensitive in Nolan’s mouth.
When Nolan drew back, his lips were red and puffy.
“Damn,” Nolan said, his voice raspy, his pretty brown eyes filled with heat. Lust raced through James. “That was one hell of a face fuck.”
He’d done that.
He’d brought Nolan to his knees, put that expression on his face.
Pride thrummed through him, a satisfaction he’d been aching for a long time now. He hadn’t experienced this depth of emotion since…
Oh fuck.
He’d done that.
He’d just fucked his roommate.
He’d just fucked someone for the first time since Andrew passed.
Ice water dumped over the afterglow, and James’s nails bit into the hardwood beneath him.
He tried to maintain a neutral expression even though his insides started to riot.
The shift began slow, ice trickling through him, then spread fast outward until the panicked, jittery sensation traveled all the way through his body.
Until he was about to crawl out of his skin with guilt and shame and relief and satisfaction and fucking confusion.
He should be helping Nolan up from his crouch, checking in with him, taking care of him. They hadn’t gone full blown into D/s, but they’d settled into a dynamic during their blow jobs, and fuck, fuck, fuck.
He needed to get out of here. Shower? His room? He needed to not be here, looking at this stunning man who made his heart ache—who had been the first person to bring him to release since his husband died. Bile rose in his throat.
“I…uh…I need to go shower,” James said, pushing to his feet and yanking his pants up. He didn’t bother to zipper or button them shut, his belt jangling as he turned away without saying more and rushed up the steps. The clatter echoed around him, louder in the silence that ensued.
When he reached the second floor, he all but bolted to the bathroom.
His whole body shook as he reached forward and tried to turn on the shower. The water hissed as it descended, and he stripped in mechanical motions before stepping in, not giving a fuck that it was scalding.
He clenched his eyes shut as his stomach roiled, waves of guilt washing over him along with the thrill, the longing for more with Nolan—all the good sensations tangled hopelessly with the others.
He pressed a fist to his heart as the first sob poured out of him. Fuck. He could sense glimpses of Andrew’s smile—the one tooth crooked—and his soft, tremulous moans. His warm presence, with lazy, loose limbs. But the sharpness was receding even after only a year.
Even though those memories were all he had.
And if he let Nolan in…
His throat constricted.
Would the rest of them go too? Would Andrew fade away even more?
James sank to his knees as hot water beat down on him, and his body just trembled, trembled, trembled.
He was so, so tired of being broken.