Chapter Six
Bethany POV
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling; another day to survive – ugh.
I was still mourning the loss of a man I loved while the man I was married to had no idea.
Turning on my side, I faced my husband who was peacefully asleep.
How little he knew about what had been going on the last three months.
Since my brother killed Emilio, my depression had gotten so bad I’d been put on suicide watch.
My own husband, who thought it was due to failed pregnancy attempts, agreed with my brother that someone should be with me at all times.
As I watched Pio slowly wake up, I put on a fake smile.
“Morning,” he said. Pulling me into a cuddle as he rolled on top of me. His morning cock as stiff as ever placed in between my legs. “Happy birthday.”
Right. Happy birthday to me. He kissed my neck as I remained still, mentally cringing at his touch. Pio was a good-looking man, but he wasn’t Emilio. From the beginning of our arrangement, I’d learned to not pull away from his touch or to appear grossed out when he wanted to be intimate.
I felt him pull up my silk cami as his hands roamed my body.
Eventually, he used one hand to pull his erection out of his boxers and then one of his fingers to move my panties out of the way so that the tip of his cock could rub against my opening.
The only thing getting me through it was picturing him being Emilio.
Closing my eyes, I pictured one of the many moments Emilio sent waves of pleasure through my body so that I was ready to receive my husband.
One minute and 10 seconds of happiness. As good as it was, whenever I’d open my eyes and see Pio instead of Emilio, the sadness flooded back in as it always did making me feel worse.
Pio rolled off me and got out of bed. “How did you sleep?”
“Better,” I lied sitting up, throwing the Egyptian cotton sheets off of me.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay with me gone for a few days?”
Nodding my head, “I will.”
“You should stay with your mother while I’m gone.”
I follow Pio into the master bathroom.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him.
He gave me a worried look as he removed his boxers and turned on the shower. “I’d feel better knowing you had company while I was away.”
I crossed my arms, “You never worried about me being lonely before.”
Pio took a deep breath, “Well, I worry now.”
“Pio…”
“Don’t look at me like that Bethany.”
“I promise I won’t do anything stupid again.”
“You promised me that 4 other times.” The look of genuine concern on his face almost made me cry.
“I mean it this time.”
“I wish I could believe that,” his eyes darted to my arm.
His look pierced through the bandage around my forearm from my most recent self-inflicted wound last month. Suddenly, it felt like the skin under the bandage caught fire and I shook my arm as though it would make it stop.
“What is it going to take to earn your trust again?” I asked.
“When I know I can leave a knife, or pills, or alcohol out and not have to think about whether you’d use them to end your life.” Pio stepped into the shower. “This is not up for discussion.”
I couldn’t argue with that. I’d put everyone that loved me in a position where they couldn’t trust me anymore.
The worst was having my own mother look at me with such disturbance.
Whatever pain I was going through was nothing compared to my mother’s pain as she watched me do horrible things to myself.
She didn’t deserve to see me like this, and I hated myself for being so weak.
Walking back into the bedroom, I collapsed back onto the bed.
I needed to get my shit back together. What had I been doing the last 5 years aside from cheating on my husband with a man who was now dead.
It was time to get over the pain of losing Emilio and rebuild myself.
I lay there until Pio was out of the shower.
Sitting up when he entered the room, I blurt out, “I’m ready.”
“Ready?” He asked with a confused face as I was still in my nightgown.
“I’m ready to stop mopping around. I’m ready to stop being a burden to everyone. I want to be back on my feet. Get back on track.”
Walking over to me, he stood in between my legs and held my chin up to him. “Good. I’m happy to hear that.” He placed a kiss on my forehead. “I’m sorry I have to miss your party tonight.”
Giving a half smile, “It’s okay.”
It was not the first time I’d be attending an event without my husband but it hadn’t bothered me before. Now that Emilio wasn’t around, I’d really know what it was like to feel lonely amongst a crowd of people.
“I’ll make it up to you,” Pio said. Normally, I’d get gifts of diamonds or a fur coat as a sad attempt to make up for his lack of presence. “How about you and me go away for a while?”
“Away?” I repeated surprised. “Like a vacation?”
“A long vacation.”
Now I was intrigued. Time away from here was what I desperately needed. “Where?”
Pio shrugged, “Maybe Europe? We can go wherever you want.”
“Really? What about your duties?” I wasn’t exactly sure what his role was in his family or under my brother but he traveled a lot – sometimes weeks at a time.
“I think we both need a getaway.” Pio held my face in his hands and placed a kiss on my lips. “Think about it. When I get back this week, we will leave to wherever you choose.”
“Okay,” I replied. Pio turned around to head out of the bedroom and I found myself saying, “I’ll be waiting for you.”
He looked over his shoulder and shot me a warm smile and then walked out.
Pio might not be the man I wanted but he was kind to me when I didn’t even deserve it.
Hopping off the bed, I got myself showered and dressed up for the day.
Looking at myself in the mirror, it felt good seeing my hair brushed, makeup on, and in clothing other than an oversized T-shirt.
The doorbell rang just as I got to the bottom of the stairs. One of the maids opened the door and in flooded bouquets of flowers from my mother and sisters. As I was directing where to have them placed, Alfie appeared.
“Happy birthday old lady!” Alfie extended his arms and gave me a bear hug.
I lightly punched him as he let me go, “You aren’t far behind.”
“I’m not the one in their 30s,” Alfie smirked. “I still have a few years.”
“And when you turn 30, I’ll make sure to remind you.”
“I hope your gift is as good as mine,” Alfie pulled out a box. Inside were the most breathtaking diamond earrings. The diamond was emerald and placed in the center of 4 gold leaves presented as a flower.
“Alfie,” I breathed, “These are beautiful.”
I walked over to the closest mirror on the wall, removed the gold hoops, and put on the ones Alfie gifted me. I could tell by the quality, weight, and size that these were pricey but that wasn’t a problem for him now that he essentially took over Emilio’s role and pay.
“Molly helped me pick them out,” Alfie replied.
“You still talk to her?”
Alfie shrugged, “When I need some advice.”
It stung hearing the hurt in his voice. Alfie always came to me for advice and I failed as a mentor the last few months.
“She has good taste,” I smile.
Footsteps behind me sent chills up my spine. There was only one other male who would be allowed in this house. Unwilling to turn around, I locked eyes with Alfie who just looked past me and nodded. I watched Alfie walk away and leave me with the one person I despised.
“What are you doing here,” my voice cold.
“I want to wish my little sister a happy birthday.” Luca’s calm demeanor felt insulting, I’d rather hear his cold tone toward me as it made it easier to stay angry with him.
I felt a tear slip down my face, “I don’t have any brothers. They are both dead.”
Walking out of the room, I closed myself in Pio’s office and opened my purse to pull out tissues.
It was my birthday and I wouldn’t let Luca ruin it for me.
The only time I had seen Luca the last three months was when I’d wake up in the hospital after one of my suicide attempts.
He angered me. He was the reason behind all this and he knew it but the regret in his eyes wasn’t enough to look past his actions – not this time.
Usually, Luca would push his way back into my good graces but he even understood he crossed a line he couldn’t return from, so he let me be.
I sat on one of the leather chaise chairs breathing in and out.
The inner rage was building up and blurring my mind.
In the blink of an eye, I was at Pio’s desk looking for anything sharp enough.
By luck, I happened to lift the stapler to find a key to one of the locked draws that I knew held a gun. I was in a mental war with myself.
Open the drawer. Don’t open the drawer.
Breathing in and out.
Open the drawer. Don’t open the drawer.
Breathing in and out.
Open the drawer. Don’t open the drawer.
Breathing in and out.
Eventually I dropped the key and placed it back under the stapler. Taking a deep breath, I then got to my feet and walked out of the room where I found Alfie leaning against the wall as though waiting for me while checking his phone. He looked up at me scanning my body to see if there was any harm.
“It hurts that you look at me differently.”
“It’s all in your head Bethany,” Alfie commented as he remained relaxed.
“Is it?”
“You really want to argue on your birthday?”
“No,” I replied.
“Then tell me what you’d like to do today.”
“I need to pick up my dress and shoes for the party tonight, but I could do some shopping too.”
Alfie had no issue driving me to different shops or carrying shopping bags as I had some retail therapy in addition to picking up my outfit for tonight. After getting my hair and makeup done, we headed back to my house so I could finish getting ready.