Chapter 21
We tramp through the undergrowth and dry twigs for hours without speaking.
Caene silently redirects me every once in a while with a point of his finger or a nod of his head.
I don’t know why he’s letting me lead. I have no clue where we are or where to go and wonder how he seems to know exactly where he’s going.
You can’t see very far through the fog and closely growing trees.
In the silence I reflect on what he said this morning.
Did he truly not know I was the one he was looking for that night in the Rookery? It seems hard to believe.
And yet.
He could have taken me as I slept. I was naked, vulnerable.
It would have been easier than his brothers attacking me in daylight.
I chew the inside of my cheek, unsure of how to feel.
So, like all the other things I’m not ready to face, I shove it in a box in the now crammed corner of my mind under the sign that reads ‘To Deal With Later,’ and focus my attention back on the surrounding wood.
I’ve never set foot in the Elvael Forest before.
But he continues to let me lead us, as though he understands my need to feel in control of my body, my life.
He’s patient with me. With my fragile body.
I can only walk a short way until I need to rest, yet he doesn’t complain or try to push me further.
Instead, he brings me rabbits he’s hunted and berries, mushrooms, and nuts he’s foraged to eat, quietly building fires and keeping watch as I doze.
Despite all this, my gut’s a constant burning knot of unease.
A part of me is still waiting for him to kill me or to lead me back, to finish what his house started.
Night is beginning to creep through the trees, the temperature dropping.
I find myself regretting shoving Caene’s coat back at him this morning.
With no meat on my bones and the autumnal air, my body quakes violently, and I have to clench my jaw hard to keep my teeth from chattering.
I do everything I can to try to suppress my shivering, or at least make it so Caene doesn’t notice, but it’s useless.
It’s almost as though he’s tuned in to everything my body says, even if I don’t speak a word. It’s unsettling.
I watch him closely as he builds a fire, my eyes drooping with fatigue.
It’s infuriating that I’m still drained after a full night’s sleep last night and steady meals and small naps all day.
That’s all I’ve ever needed to feel better before.
I consider it a minor miracle that his brothers haven’t caught us yet, as this is the fifth time we’ve stopped.
I tried to push on, to keep going, to put more distance between myself and them, to get closer to the other side of this cold, unwelcoming wood.
The sooner I’m out of here the sooner I can get back to my life away from them. Away from him.
The thought makes my heart twist in a way that I do not want to look at too closely.
Isirae is my priority. She is my family.
She and Feron are all I need. My eyes start to close, while still watching him.
He has settled in for the night on the other side of the small fire, his head lying on a mound of moss staring up at the fog in the trees.
I’m leaning up against a tree, unwilling to lie down and put myself in a vulnerable position.
It’s easier to defend myself from a sitting position.
Never mind that he could have killed me a dozen times today or last night while I slept—I still don’t trust him.
I’m half asleep, my eyes barely open. I forget that I’m not speaking to him. “Why can we have fires but make no noise? Won’t your brothers be able to see the flames in the dark?”
He rolls his head toward me, eyeing me.
“What?” I ask, self-conscious with his perusal.
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Just a little surprised you’re actually speaking to me.”
I scowl at him and settle further into my tree, determined to never speak to him again now.
“We don’t have to worry about the fire because even if my brothers are close, they won’t be able to see it unless they’re right on top of us.
The fog is far too dense.” He sighs and turns his face back to the sky, bringing his arms up to cradle his skull behind his head.
“The noise is what would draw them to us. Them and every other creature within earshot.”
I roll my eyes, letting them fall closed, unable to fight my exhaustion anymore.
I doze off, still shivering despite the warmth of the fire.
In the space between asleep and awake, I feel strong hands guiding me to lie down, my head hitting a soft pile that smells like earth.
Warmth envelops me and is tucked tightly around my body.
I pry one eye open with considerable effort and look at Caene on the other side of the fire.
He doesn’t appear to have moved but his coat is wrapped tightly around me again.
I’m too worn to fight it or question it and tuck further into its warmth, grateful that the shivering is subsiding.
I wake the next morning to Caene burying our fire again.
I slowly sit up, feeling a little better than I did yesterday.
A fraction stronger. He looks at me and nods to a stack of berries and mushrooms next to a waterskin he’s placed by the moss pillow he must have laid me down on last night.
I greedily wolf down the food and nearly drain the waterskin.
I wipe away the water that spilled down my chin with the back of my hand and stand, approaching him. I gently push his coat into his hands.
“Thank you,” I say softly, not meeting his eyes.
He just nods in response. I turn on my heel and start walking, him once again letting me lead the way when I don’t know the way. A small smile finds its way to my lips. I quickly stamp it down.
Stop it Vayna. Don’t start going soft.
I start assessing my surroundings. Yesterday I was operating solely on adrenaline and survival.
Today, feeling healthier and not quite as anxious, I’m able to really look at and take in the forest around me.
It looks like a normal forest full of pine trees.
Except the branches on all the trees are all growing in the same direction, on the same side of the trees.
If I had to guess, I’d say the branches are growing toward the edge of the forest. It’s as though they’re trying to escape but their roots are keeping them planted in place.
Odd.
We walk in silence. The only noises are our crunching footsteps and the occasional unusual bird call until I can’t stand it anymore. The fatigue is starting to weigh me down like a boulder attached to my back and I need a distraction.
“How long until we’re back in Kalsevden?” My voice is still hoarse from weeks of screaming and crying. I look over my shoulder at him when he doesn’t answer right away. He almost looks startled that I’m actually speaking to him again.
He clears his throat. “We’re not going back. We’re going to the mountains. To Kanas.”
Panic explodes in my chest. “No. We have to go back to Kalsevden.” I try to keep my voice even.
“It’s not safe for you there anymore.” He takes a step closer to me.
My eyes must be enormous with the shock of his audacity. “Not safe? Not safe! Whose fault is that? What do you and your fucked up little family want with me! Who do you think I am!”
If it’s not safe for me, what if it’s not safe for Isi? I keep the question to myself.
“Someone useful to my father. Someone he’ll stop at nothing to get his hands on.”
I throw my hands up in exasperation. “For Death’s sake, can you ever just answer a fucking question?
” I want to ask if he thinks they’ll use Isi or Feron to get to me, if they could know about them.
But if this whole rescuing-the-damsel thing is some sick game to him and his family, I’m not going to put mine in their sights.
“I’m not sure I’m the right person to tell you who you are.”
“Not the right person? Are you fucking kidding me? You’re the reason I’m in this mess!
You’re the reason I’m here! You handed me to them on a silver platter!
And now you don’t think I deserve to know who they think I am?
How dare you!” I keep my voice as low as my fury will allow, which admittedly, isn’t very low.
“I meant what I said Aelavi,” he barks. His deep voice goes low as he takes another step toward me.
I step back until my back is pressed against a tree.
Still, he advances. “I didn’t know who you were that night at the tavern.
I didn’t know it was you I was sent there to find.
If I had, I would have told you to run from me.
By the abysm, I would have run with you.
” He closes his eyes briefly and takes a deep breath, like he’s steeling himself for something.
“I’ve seen and done terrible things at my father’s command.
But torturing an innocent woman was not something I could stomach.
I knew what my father planned when he sent my brothers and me into the Rookery to find a red-haired woman.
I went to protect her. If I’d known you were that woman the night we met .
. .” He slowly shakes his head. “From the moment I saw you, saw your smile, your eyes, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head.
When I woke the next morning to you gone, I went searching for you.
I asked around, I visited farms, shops, gambling dens, taverns, even whorehouses. ” He stops inches from me.
My heart beats painfully in my ribcage. Did he talk to Otyx? Did he punish Isi?