Chapter 29
Igrind my bones as I wring my hands together and pick my nails until they bleed.
I can’t keep still, and on an enormous horse this high off the ground, it’s a problem.
If Caene notices, he doesn’t say anything.
He just keeps his arms bracketed around me.
For comfort or safety, I can't say for certain.
The need to get to Isi, to protect her, is putting me on edge.
Mercifully, the road back was clear. The Frai must have done as they promised and misdirected the twins.
When we reach the packed dirt road on the outskirts of the Elvael Forest, Caene turns Bazil to the west, following the road.
“What are you doing?” I snap at him. “It’ll be faster to go through the forest, won’t it?
” The panic I’ve been struggling to keep under control since last night tries to overtake me.
I reach for my necklace and bring it to my nose.
Instead of answering, Caene steers Bazil off the road, toward the trees.
The horse’s ears flatten to his head, and about five feet into the trees, he stops.
Caene tries to urge him on but he doesn’t move, instead stamping the ground in agitation.
“Horses don’t go into the forest. No one really knows why,” he says.
“Giant, bloodsucking creatures and devil birds from the depths of the abysm might have something to do with it,” I say dryly. He chuckles behind me, turning Bazil back to the road.
“What’s with the necklace?” Caene asks.
I tuck it back into my coat. “It’s nothing.”
“Hey,” he says, cupping my chin and guiding my face around to look him in the eyes. “Never hide remember? Especially not from me.”
He drops his hand and I turn back to Bazil’s head, leaning forward to stroke his neck.
“I’ve struggled with a panicking sickness for as long as I can remember.
The necklace was a gift from my mother. She used to put oil from lavender flowers on a cloth and lock it inside the pendant.
There hasn’t been any scent in it in years but the motion can still help calm me. ”
I’ve never shared that with anyone. Even Isi has never asked me about it.
I’ve kept my necklace and troubles hidden from everyone as best I could.
Berttom would take it from me if he ever noticed it.
He would have probably accused me of stealing from him, which would have resulted in a beating or worse.
Caene doesn’t respond, which I’m grateful for.
This isn’t something I like to discuss. My weaknesses.
Still, I turn my head to look at him. This time instead of pity or hardness, I see understanding and tenderness.
He rubs slow, comforting circles with his thumb on my thigh where his hand rests.
I clear my throat to dislodge the lump growing there.
“Can we please go faster? I don’t know how much time we have. How long until we’re back in Kalsevden?”
“I’d say about seven or eight days depending on the weather.”
My breath catches and my heart falters. “But it only took us five to go through the forest on foot! How can it be longer on horseback?”
“The road around the forest is quite a bit longer than cutting through it.”
“Then why the fuck are we wasting time? Let’s cut through the godsdamned forest again!” I’m so afraid for Isi that I’m not thinking clearly. I’m practically climbing off Bazil, despite the fact that he’s moving. Caene’s arms tighten around my waist, locking me in place.
“I will not bring you back into that forest, little Aelavi. Not unless I have no other choice. The gijire and the nevcaei are just a fraction of what awaits us in there. We were unusually lucky the first time through. I doubt we will be again and we need to be alive to help your friend. We’ll get back in time. I promise.”
I twist at the waist to face him fully. “How can you possibly promise that? I don’t even know the timeline of that vision. How can you?”
“I don’t. But I know my father. If he has your friend, he’s going to keep her alive long enough to see if he can draw you out.
Trust me Aelavi. Please.” It’s the “please” that stops me from pushing more, from squirming out of his hold and marching straight back into that godsforsaken forest. The pleading in his eyes, in his tone, like all he wants in this world is for me to trust him, gets through to me.
“Make it seven,” I say with conviction.
We ride long and hard, only stopping to take care of personal needs, to let Bazil drink from streams or ponds, and to sleep just inside the shelter of the trees and fog of the Elvael Forest. For all his talk about not taking me back into the damn forest, he sure was quick to seek shelter within it.
He told me it was still marginally safer than camping on the road with the Horde prowling it every night.
I hate to agree with him but I’d rather face a gijire than come face-to-face with those lawless savages.
At night, even with Caene’s warm and comforting body pressed against me, I can’t sleep.
The visions of Isi and Caene play over and over in my head.
It’s not lost on me that Isirae and Caene both die in the same room.
I’m afraid that once we enter that room, only one of them will walk out.
That I’ll be forced into a choice I don’t want to make.
If I bring Caene there, he’ll die, but if I don’t go, Isi will die.
The only choice left is to go alone, despite my desperation for his help. I’ll have to find a way to either convince Caene to let me go or I’ll have to sneak away from him somehow.
When the sun finally rises on the third day of our journey, Caene briefly leaves my side to hunt for some breakfast. The food Aelric gave us won’t last for the journey home, so it needs to be supplemented.
He returns with three fat squirrels. Actual squirrels this time, not whatever the green thing he caught in the mountains was. He sits next to me to clean his catch while I stoke the dwindling fire, our legs touching. He keeps stealing sideways glances at me.
I sigh, rolling my eyes. “If you have something to say, just say it.” I’m in no mood for pussyfooting.
“Did you get any sleep?” he asks, placing the skewered squirrels on the flame.
I consider lying. “No.”
He huffs out a breath and stands. “What aren’t you telling me?” He reaches down for me, pulling me to my feet, settles his hands on my biceps, and squeezes gently. “I know you’re worried about your friend but I think there’s more. Tell me what has been eating away at you, Vayna. Please.”
His use of my real name startles me. I crane my neck to look him in the eye. I square my shoulders, deciding it’s time for truth. I take a deep breath.
“I’ve seen you die,” I blurt.
“What do you mean?”
“I had a vision, back at the tavern, when you touched my hand. I saw you die in my arms.”
His eyes dart between mine but his expression gives nothing away.
“It must be wrong, right? You can’t die. You’re indestructible.” I place my palm over the beat of his heart. It’s beating fast.
He doesn’t respond.
“Caene? I can’t tell what you’re thinking. Please say something.”
“Where does this happen?” he asks.
“What? Why does that matter?”
“It’s important.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been there. It was a large, wood-paneled room with glass cases all around.”
“Was there a whale hanging from the ceiling?”
My breath falters and my heart hammers in my chest. All I can do is nod.
He curses under his breath. “Listen very closely Vayna.” His continued use of my real name has me so tense my muscles are beginning to protest. My jaw is clenched so tight it aches. He pulls me closer, his eyes pleading.
“My father and brother both possess the gift of armament. It means they can forge weapons out of nothing.” I nod in understanding. I’ve seen them do that with my own eyes.
“My father often spoke of blades he could forge from our family’s magic that could harm me, even kill me.
He would threaten me with this knowledge if he was displeased with me or if I refused an order.
‘Be careful boy,’ he’d say. ‘I brought you into this world, and only I can take you out of it.’ I never knew if it was true.
I was never stupid enough to test him. If it is true, he has probably taught Osper to forge them as well by now. ”
My eyes flick between his. “You’re saying your father or your brother is responsible for your death in my vision? Would they really do that? You’re family!” I can’t wrap my head around it.
“Osper would, without a doubt. If I’m gone, he’s the next likely successor for my family’s talisman.
I’ve held my father’s favor since I was a child, though I’m sure that has shifted in these past few weeks.
Once he realized I was the one to free you.
But that’s why he gave me the gift of invulnerability—to ensure I lived long enough to accept the talisman.
Osper was always jealous and angry. He thought he deserved invulnerability.
But my father never asked me if it was what I wanted.
He never cared.” I can hear the pain in his voice.
“I’m the biggest and strongest of the three of us, the most levelheaded, and that’s all he sees.
Osper is too narcissistic and Elex is too spoiled.
I was his best option. But now . . .” He reaches up, tucking a red lock behind my ear. “I chose you over them.”
I search his face. “Why did you? Choose me?” I ask, almost not wanting the answer.
His eyes dance between mine, his head lowering slowly, waiting for me to pull back.
I don’t. His lips are on mine, gentle at first, but the kiss quickly turns fierce and demanding.
His tongue slips along the seam of my lips and I open for him.
His thumbs brush along my jaw, pushing my head up, deepening the kiss.
An embarrassing moan slips out of me and into his mouth.