Chapter 25 #2
“What I’m trying to say is, no matter who I was with, no matter how good it looked on the outside… it was never you,” I confess, my voice thick. “And that’s all I ever wanted. You .”
For what feels like an eternity, she just stares at me through glassy eyes.
Then her face crumples as her brows pull together with disbelief.
She shakes her head, tears cascading from her dark lashes as she wraps her arms around herself, gripping her upper arms like she’s trying to become her own anchor.
“Owen… you can’t say things like that to me.” Her voice trembles as she digs her fingertips into her arms. “Not now.”
“Why? Explain it to me, Meadow. Please.”
“Because we aren’t compatible. Don’t you see that?” she asks. “Your friends. Your life. This—” She gestures vaguely toward the five-star resort, the extravagant wedding, the people still partying away on the dance floor. “This world of yours… I don’t fit into it.”
Even though it feels like my throat is closing up, I wait for her to finish as she chews on her bottom lip to try to keep it from wobbling.
“People naturally gravitate toward you, Owen. And the funny thing,” she scoffs, “is that you don’t even try. You’re just that magnetic.”
“And me?” she lets out a dry chuckle. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to stay out of the way.
I like being alone. I like disappearing.
I actively avoid being in rooms like that.
I have one close girl friend, someone who’s been my best friend since grade school, and I like it that way.
You have more friends than I can count on two hands.
Real friends who love and adore you, who invite you to their dreamy wedding in paradise. ”
“Meadow—”
“I’m not done,” she shakes her head. “You deserve someone who will match your energy and joy for life. Someone who will sing drunk karaoke at a bar and not care who’s watching.
Someone who can walk into a room full of strangers without needing a quiet corner to disappear to.
Not someone who’s constantly trying to shrink herself down just to get through the night. ”
Fuck.
I’ve never felt pain like this.
I’ve taken hits from men twice my size and walked it off, but this? This is different.
Hearing Meadow talk like she’s already decided she’s not enough for me—like she’s giving up before she even gives us a chance—fucking guts me.
Desperately needing to touch her, to shake these self-destructive thoughts from her brain, I reach out and cup her wet cheeks between my palms.
“Meadow, look at me,” I rasp. “Look at me, baby.”
She fights it for a moment before slowly lifting her mocha eyes to mine.
God, she’s so beautiful.
Even like this, shattered and falling apart, she still takes the breath right out of my chest.
I just wish she could see herself as I see her.
How the hell do I make her see it?
“You’ve got it all wrong,” I breathe, my eyes darting over her face. “You think you don’t belong in my world,” I add, my voice dropping. “But Meadow… you are the only part of it that’s ever felt right. You are the only thing that’s ever made sense.”
A sob catches in her throat as she grabs my waist, clutching her fingers into my dress shirt.
“Then why, Owen?” she shudders. “Why do I feel like I’m not enough?”
Why do I feel like I’m not enough?
That question…
It fucking destroys me.
That question will haunt me.
I press my forehead to hers, my hands still cradling her face.
“You are, baby,” I whisper. “You’re more than enough. You’re my entire fucking world, Meadow. You have been for years.”
I swipe my thumb across her lips before leaning down and kissing away the fresh tears from her cheeks. She briefly closes her eyes as I brush away every single drop with my lips.
“Owen…” she stammers. “I’m so scared. I’m fucking terrified. Because I know how this ends. And I don’t think I would survive losing you.”
“Then tell me, Meadow,” I demand, my voice thick with emotion. “Tell me how you think this ends.”
Her gaze drops to our feet.
“I go back to being your friend, or worse, we can never repair our friendship after this week,” she says weakly. “And then you go back to your life. And eventually… You find someone who is your perfect puzzle piece. Someone who doesn't even have to try to be your other half.”
Yeah, fuck that.
I’m not going back home to anyone but her.
I take another step until our bodies are flush against each other.
“Is that really what you think?” I ask, barely above a whisper.
She doesn’t answer. Her silence is enough.
“Meadow, I need you to listen to me,” I add, my voice shaking now. “I didn’t want to do it. I swear.”
“I know.”
“I saw your face,” I mutter. “I knew it was hurting you. And I still did it because I panicked,” I admit. “Everyone was watching, and I didn’t want to make a scene, and I was so fucking stupid. But the second I saw you walk away… I knew I fucked up.”
My breath mingles with hers as she reaches up and runs her fingers against my stubbled jaw.
“Owen… it wasn’t about the garter. That was never it.”
“I know,” I mutter, my lips brushing hers with every word. “But I want you to know how sorry I am. I don’t need you to try to fit into my world. I don’t want you to be anyone but yourself.”
She leans into me, sliding her fingers up the nape of my neck and into my hair.
“All I want is you,” I croak. “I’m not walking away from you. Meadow… I—Meadow, I love—”
Her body freezes as I watch her mentally withdraw.
“No.” She shakes her head quickly, like she can’t bear to hear the next word. “Don’t say it.”
I’m not stopping this time.
Over my dead fucking body.
Not when she needs to hear this. She needs to know exactly how much she means to me.
“I’m not letting you push me away,” I retort, my voice rough, breaking at the edges.
“I love you, Meadow Riley. And I don’t just love you as a friend—I’m in love with you.” My chest constricts as my vision blurs. “I love you so damn much it hurts.”
The second the confession leaves my lips, the world tilts. Her face contorts with fear as fight-or-flight takes over her body.
“I… I need to breathe,” she rushes out, her voice small and uneven as her eyes dart everywhere but at me. “I need to think. I can’t… I can’t do this right now.”
She quickly steps back, her hands slipping from my body as if I’ve burned her.
“Meadow, wait.”
But she’s already retreating.
Heavy tears pour down her face as her breath comes faster, panic creeping in.
“I—I need to go back to the room,” she says under her breath, barely able to get the words out. “Please… just give me a little time.”
Her defeated eyes finally meet mine, and that’s what destroys me. She looks… done.
“Please, Owen. I just need some time. At least give me that.”
Every instinct in my body screams to go after her.
To pull her to me.
To grab her face and kiss the doubt and insecurity out of her.
Not to let her walk away from me like this.
I take a step forward, then stop. Because that’s when I see it.
The pure fear in her eyes. The way her thoughts are plaguing her, stealing her ability to think straight.
One wrong move from me will push her too far. And if I apply too much pressure, I’ll lose her for real.
So even though it fucking crushes me, I let her go.
I just stand there, my chest heaving, my hands clenched at my sides, watching the love of my life turn and walk away from me.
Each step she takes feels like it’s ripping out a chunk of my heart.
She doesn’t look back.
Not once.