Chapter 3 #2
(B) I did not argue with my sister, because along with threatening me, she wasn't the least bit interested in why my shop smelled like the Great Barbeque Cook Off and Jamboree of 1965 and she was driving her prized possession– a shiny, shimmering silver Aston Martin DB5 convertible that she'd restored all by herself - the shit was seriously hitting the fan somewhere and she needed my help.
I was going to help her save no matter what, come Hell or high water.
Grabbing the handle, I snatched open the door and pushed the front seat up so Arthur and Otis could climb into the back.
Holding my breath, I was ready for the speech about their fur in the carpet and their nails scratching the leather interior– but she didn’t say a word, not one damn word, and that kicked my preternatural senses into overdrive.
We were headed to Def Con Dragon when Maeve wasn’t worried about the interior of her car.
Pushing the seat back, I slid into the passenger seat, placed Chewy on my lap, and was reaching for the seatbelt when two absolutely insane things happened at precisely the same second.
Theresa Thomas– yes, I was still holding the phone in my hand, and she was still there– calmly inquired, her voice steady but her emotions a jumbled-up mess of fear and worry and the need to rush to save the day, "What is happening?
Do I need to send the police? Do you need me?
Are you okay? Please be okay. Oh, frig this, I'm on my way.
You need me whether you know it or not. I'll track your cell phone. See you in a minute."
Before I could tell Theresa that we had everything under control– a total exaggeration if there ever was one- that sexy Fire Chief, who I wanted to strip naked and have my very wicked way with, vaulted over the side of Maeve's car, hit the backseat with perfect precision right between Athur and Otis, and announced, "Name's Kai Rí, and there's no way in hell I'm letting you out of my sight, Martha Dellencourt. No way, no how.”
(Now, I know what you’re thinking. I’m bettin' it's pretty close to what was going through my mind – how the hell was Theresa going to track my cell phone?
I mean, I'd seen that shit on TV shows, but didn't have a clue until that very moment that it was a real thing.
My flabbers were seriously ghasted. I was incredibly impressed and…
Wait? What was that? Oh, you’re wondering about Kai? Yeah, okay, I’ll tell you that bit first since you insisted, and because it was… Oh hell, here, just read this bit.
My mind went from Def Con Dragon to Martha’s found her soulmate in less than a flirty bat of my long, dark eyelashes.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that Maeve had everything under control.
I mean, we were together, and that was two out of three Dragon Queens.
What couldn’t we handle? And she was driving, so, in my mind, there was time for me to get to know my One True Fated Mate.
It all made sense in a ‘Martha’s World’ kind of way.
Therefore, without further ado, I tossed my phone into Maeve's lap. It was something we did all the time with pretty much anything and everything, except for coffee and soda, because those would spill. Duh. I mean, let's face it, when in the car, even if you weren’t driving, there was never anywhere to put anything, especially in the teeny, tiny, cramped automobile my dear sister loved so very much. So, as my phone touched down on Maeve’s thigh, I spun in my seat, got up on my knees, and was facing backward faster than you can say, 'Holy shit, Mom, Fae Kings are real. '
Lifting my hands to perch them on the headrest, one atop the other and stare, starry-eyed, at the sexiest man ever to be made by the hands of the Goddess and the Universe, I was instantly and completely tied up in the seatbelt I’d forgotten to unhook.
It should have been embarrassing. My cheeks should’ve gotten red.
I should’ve slid down the seat and contemplated dying of humiliation.
But that didn’t happen. Not even a little bit.
Instead, that wonderful, good-looking man who was made just for me, laughed out loud and declared, "If I didn't already know you were my Mate, I'd be promising the Goddess herself my left nut to have you forever, Martha Dellencourt.” Giving me a wink that made my heart skip a beat, he added, “And before you ask, the 911 operator gave me your name.”
“Woohoo, Hell ye…” Was as far as I got before Maeve growled, “While I love a great meet-cute, you know it’s my favorite part of every rom com/chick flick I’ve ever watched…”
I did not know that. Hell, I didn’t even know Maeve watched rom coms. We had known each other all of her life, and I didn’t even know she had watched any movie at all since we forced her to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 1974, and she had nightmares until 1978.
How about that? You do learn something every day. Of course, Maeve was still taking as I once again took a mental holiday. So, I immediately tuned back in to be sure she wasn’t telling my gorgeous Fae King any embarrassing stories.
“…and yes, I’ve watched a blue fuckin’ million of ‘em. I do have a life. And before you ask, yes, I read your mind. Get over it. This is seriously not the time for you to have any type of foreplay. For the love of all that’s holy, you’ve waited five-hundred-and-sixty-seven years, what’s a little while longer gonna hurt? "
Pausing, her lips curled inward, her jaw clenched tight, and her tongue stuck out the side of her mouth as she gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned a bright snow white, she jerked the wheel to the left, then to the right while speeding up instead of slowing down, and her baby– her car– Quick Silver Suzie took a right onto Crooked Cactus Lane on two wheels.
Tires squealing as she whipped us to the left to avoid running over a gaggle of Goslings being led back to the Dragoon Bootay Elementary School from the pond in the center of Under the Rainbow Park, my lovely, usually incredibly careful and overly cautious sister, drove up on the sidewalk.
Then, in another utterly uncharacteristic move, she screamed towards the startled teacher, "Sorry about that— life or death emergency.
I promise to buy a thousand raffle tickets at the carnival next week.
Send the invoice to my office, tell Patty to write you a check! "
While the sentiment was sweet, I am quite sure Rhonda Rabinowitz – our resident Black-Tailed Jack Rabbit Shifter and Head Teacher at the Dragoon Bootay Elementary School– cursed in Swedish, calling Maeve everything but a brunette Dragon Queen.
Which she was. A brunette Dragon Queen, I mean.
The other part, well, I didn’t speak Swedish, and in that moment, it was a really good thing.
“Slow the hell down,” I screeched, still wound up tight in the seatbelt, actually more so than before because I’d done another quarter turn and was now looking at the side of my middle sister’s face.
“Where’s the fire? What’s the emergency?
Where are we going? Why are you driving like a bat outta Hell?
I didn’t even know you knew how to drive over 25 mph! ”
Never letting go of the steering wheel, pointing with both her index fingers while making a left turn that I knew with all certainty not even Evel Knievel would've attempted, she roared, "We are headed to the Wikiwatchee watering Hole.
Why the hell else would I be on Driving to Wikiwatchee Watering Hole Way? "
“I have no friggin' clue!" I yelled right back. "But I'm pretty sure you're gonna kill me before I even get to properly meet my Mate.”
“I’m not gonna kill you,” she scoffed. “You know I taught Mario Andretti how to drive.” Taking the curves and swerves of the oldest road in Dragoon Bootay like Quick Silver Suzie was on rails, Maeve switched from condescension to snarling and snapping.
"I haven't wrecked a car, a truck, or even fallen off my five-inch stilettos in at least three hundred years. Just shut it and hang on.”
Typically, I would've told Maeve to kiss my ass, or at the very least, metaphorically slapped her with a double, heaping helping of shit and sass for telling me to shut up.
But as I opened my mouth, Aideen's voice came out instead of mine, and that was when I wanted to crawl under the seat and die quietly of complete and total humiliation.
"What the fuck is goin' on, Maeve? I love a ride in the country just as much as the next Dragon Queen, but there's a hot Fae King in the backseat that needs Martha's immediate attention. I tried to reach my sister. You remember her, right? She’s the Dragon Queen with whom you share your soul, but she isn’t talking-and that means there’s something up, and you don’t want her to spill the beans before you have a chance to figure out how to say whatever it is that you have to say.
So, either tell us who's in trouble or pull this car over and let us out. It's been decades since our girl has had sex, and she needs this. I mean, really needs this. Ya’ feel me?”
Ignoring the manly snort and deep, rumbling chuckle from the backseat, I got as far as, “Maeve, you know that wasn’t…”
When, not missing a beat or the turn off to West WatchinWiki Lane, my middle sister snapped right back, "Stay where you belong, Aideen. I've got no time for your bullshit. Maisie’s in trouble, and I need Martha."
“The fuck you say?” My Dragon Queen and I shouted in unison. Then I kept right on going as I was known to do, “Why didn’t you tell us sooner? Why weren’t those the first words outta your mouth? Put the pedal to the metal. Drive faster! Hurry the hell up!”