Chapter 3 #4
The roar of a finely tuned, throttle-wide-open motorcycle engine filled the airwaves.
Spinning on my toes, I was still in motion as the front fender of a Pepto Bismal Pink Harley Soft Tail appeared on the crest of the hill we’d just flown over.
There wasn't even time for me to wonder who it was before the bike slid to a stop right behind Mave's car, and the engine was turned off.
Snapping my head towards Maeve, then towards Kai, and getting not so much as a shrug, I stepped forward at the same time the rider jumped off the Harley, removed her helmet, and announced, "Hey, Martha. Whose ass do I need to kick?"
Laughing out loud despite the danger, something I’d been doing for most of the day, I greeted, “Son of a bitch, you did track me down. That’s pretty damn cool.”
Arms open wide, Theresa Thomas wasted no time closing the distance between us and wrapping me in a quick, but totally sincere, hug. Stepping back, she held out her hand and nodded towards my Mate. “Hey, Kai. Good to see you again.”
Appearing at my side before I could make introductions, Maeve crossed her arms over her chest, arched her right eyebrow, and sniffed, "We addin’ a Tiger to the crew?”
"We damned sure are," I confirmed, giving Theresa a wink to assure her that my sister’s roar was much worse than her flames.
And just like that, Maeve dropped her arms and shook the Tigress’ hand and greeted, “If Martha likes you, that’s all I need to know. Welcome to the Dellencourt Shit Show. We need to save one of our clowns before she either gives birth, turns everyone to ash, or both at the same time.”
Reading my sister’s thoughts, something we did pretty much all the time because it saved so much time, I knew she was just about to add something witty– because that was what calm, cool, and collected Maeve did– when Maisie’s scream slashed through the thick, dry air of Wikiwatchee Watering Hole Beach and Family Fun Park.
“I’m gonna ror ror ro ror roror ror ro rorororororror!”
Off like we were shot out of a cannon, we all instinctually tapped into our extraordinary preternatural speed.
Powered with pure adrenalin and more than a little fear about what I was gonna find when we got to the huge, looming, dilapidated homestead that used to house Dragoon Bootay’s richest and nastiest family before Momma June and Daddy Mated and well, you know the rest, I yelled into Maeve, Theresa, and Kai’s minds, "What the hell was that last part? Anybody catch what Maisie Mae said?"
“I’m pretty sure they stuffed something into her mouth to keep her quiet,” Kai answered, his voice deep, almost a growl, and sexy as the day is long, rumbled through my brain.
“Stop thinking about sex,” Aideen snarled.
“I’m wound up tighter than an eight-day clock on day one, and the way you're going, I'm gonna spontaneously combust before you get to the good part. Hell, I’m not even the one who’s gonna get to have a 'good time'. Somethin’ ‘bout that is just wrong, my Girl. I am so gettin’ the short end of the stick in this deal. Maybe I need to make an official complaint to the Ancients, the great Goddess, the Universe, and Fate.”
“But you benefit from everything I do,” I growled right back. “So, zip those scaly, pretty pink lips and pour on that sweet, sweet Magic. Momma needs to save the day, and she needs her Dragon Queen speed to do it.”
Begrudgingly, and with several naughty words that do not bear repeating, my Dragon Queen did as I asked. From one pounding step to the next, I was sprinting through the tall, spiny sawgrass and waist-high, sharp, broad blades of oyster grass with my Mate right beside me.
“Maisie’s your baby sister, right? The Coroner?
” He asked directly into my mind. Damn, my man was the best. Even the low rumble of his voice was magnificent.
It just kept conjuring up the most delicious images of us naked and sweaty and consummating the fact that Fate and Destiny had brought us together forever and ever, amen, that I almost tripped.
In fact, I did stumble. It should've been incredibly embarrassing.
Instead, it was absolutely fantastic because my man wrapped one of those wonderfully muscled arms of his around my waist, scooped me up off the ground, and held me close as he poured on more speed than I knew was possible.
“You did that on purpose,” Aideen accused, a pout on her lips and a scowl crinkling the lovely sparkling white and light pink scales across her brow. “It’s just not fair, I tell ya’.”
“Just like you’ve been tellin’ me for five-hundred-and-sixty-seven years when I bitch about you gettin’ to feel the wind on your wings– suck it up, Buttercup. Life ain’t fair, but it’s a sweet ride.”
“I hate it when you’re right,” she grumbled, to which I was just about to give a witty comeback when Kai's question replayed in my brain, and with it, a burning question emerged.
“Did you read my mind?” I snapped, adding a slap of Magic that I hoped goosed not only the part of his brain connected to mine through our Mating bond, but also that fine ass of his.
“I sure did,” he unashamedly admitted. “And you could be reading mine if you were paying attention. Didn’t your momma ever tell you that when Mates first meet, they simply cannot hide anything from one another?”
“Well, shit,” I breathed. “She damned sure did, but I was so sure I would never find you that I just…”
“I’m gonna turn you into an ever-burnin’ torch, put you on my deck and splash you with water from my hot tub!
" Maisie's voice filled all of Wikiwatchee Watering Hole Beach, Crocodile’s Cock, and Turtle Toe Bay, which I cheered aloud and mentally to my three cohorts and anybody else who was listening, “Give ‘em hell, Maisie!
" Then to my Mate, I added, “Yep! Maisie is my baby sister. She is also the Dragon Bootay Coroner and just happens to be pregnant with triplets– my nieces. Oh, and she’s apparently found a way to get the gag out of her mouth.”
“That explains all the extra Magic. The babies are helping her fight. I wondered what was nipping at the hair on my arms,” he chuckled.
"Maisie is strong, and her Magic is white as snow and as powerful as any Fae,” he added, slowing just enough to get in step behind Maeve as she snapped, “Follow me. I know where they’re taking her. ”
“I thought we all did,” I challenged. "Isn't Maisie in the house?"
"No!" Caroline, Kai, and Theresa all countered at once.
"Look!" Kai added with a quick flick of his chin that had my head snapping to the left to see why he was all wide-eyed.
Doing two back-to-back double-takes and adding several rapid blinks of my eyes, "What in all the holy fuckinations?
" flew out of my lips before I even knew I was even thinking the words.
Coming to a screeching halt, Kai set my feet on the ground between Maeve and Theresa before barking in a hushed whisper, "Get down. Don't let them see us until we're ready. The element of surprise is on our side."
I know we all looked like the kids on that goofy TV show starring the crazy purple dinosaur when they're singing that silly song– Sally the Camel– because as one of us knelt down, another popped up.
We all needed to know Maisie was still okay, and we weren't all sharing a mass hallucination from inhaling too much fresh air. It was the damnedest thing. Absolutely nuckin’ futs crazy, and that's coming from a five-hundred-and-sixty-seven-year-old Dragon Queen who thought she'd seen ninety-three-point-seven percent of everything there was to see.
You don’t believe me? Okay, picture this:
My beautiful sister’s left wrist and left ankle were tied to a thick, crooked cypress tree trunk.
On the right side, her wrist and ankle were stuck to part of the trunk of a petrified mesquite tree with some unknown bright green goo that was emitting a stench I had never experienced before.
As if that wasn’t enough, she was being carried by and between two men who resembled professional wrestlers from the '90s, as if she were the banner a high school football team was going to crash through as they ran onto the field.
Thankfully, they hadn’t painted a team logo, and there were no pom poms in sight.
That would have been the final straw for my dear Maisie.
She would have already been scaly and breathing flames in every direction.
I had never figured out, or had the nerve to ask, why she hated football and all its accouterments so very much, and suffice it to say, I wouldn’t be asking anytime in the near future either.
Her long hair, always perfectly coiffed– dark brown, almost black, and perfectly wavy/curly just like mine– was gnarled and matted with blobs of the sticky, bright green goo and adorned with twigs positioned to look like Wyvern wings.
If they only knew how much Maisie loved her spectacular mane, how much time and attention she paid to it to be sure there was not a single hair out of place.
Oh, buddy, when she saw what they had done to her hair, not even the Great Goddess was going to be able to save them.
And the travesty didn’t stop there…
Her fair complexion was smeared with the smelly, chartreuse gunk and what looked like juice from raspberries, painted in six stripes on each of her cheeks.
If she hadn’t been in mortal danger, I would’ve been pissed.
Those fucking assholes had made her up in a way that mocked the Cherokee heritage on my Dad's side…
Well, hell, I was pissed. The crazy bastards were manhandling my youngest sister and my yet-to-be-born nieces. Who the in all the holy fuckinations did they think they were?
Speaking of the insane idiots slowly marching in parallel lines...