Chapter Seventeen
Jesse grinned at the sight of Kenny’s silver Honda Civic swinging into the parking garage ahead of him, across the street from the Phoenix Studios.
Using the pass Greg gave him that allowed him access to the private garage, he pulled into a space next to Kenny, grabbed his sheet music and a stack of apartment listings off the passenger seat, and climbed out of the black Enzo Ferrari.
“Holy shit!” Kenny said, bending down to peer inside the Ferrari. “I was looking at this thing when I pulled in. I hoped it was a chick driving so I could work a little of my magic.”
“You don’t want to try working your magic on me?”
Kenny stood up straight and scowled at him. “Funny.”
Jesse watched Kenny walk toward the exit of the parking garage.
He hadn’t seen him since Evan had spent the night at their apartment, and thought by lying low it’d give Kenny time to adjust, but he acted even more pissed.
During the past week, Jesse called him a few times and invited him over to practice some music, but Kenny said he wasn’t feeling well.
Now he realized Kenny had been avoiding him.
Jesse marched after him, snatched him by the upper arm, dragged him around and back toward the Enzo.
Kenny tugged against Jesse’s hold. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Get in the car,” Jesse demanded, hitting the remote to disarm the alarm.
“We’re gonna be late!”
“So what if we are? They can’t do shit until we walk in.”
Jesse opened the passenger side door of the car. With a heavy sigh, Kenny climbed in. Jesse walked around to the driver’s side, got in, and faced him.
Kenny gazed at the interior of the Ferrari. “This is so freakin’ cool.”
Jesse huffed out an impatient breath. “Right now, the only two members of Conquest are preparing to walk into a recording studio and they can’t even be around each other without there being tension. I think getting that cleared up is a little more important than how cool this car is.”
Kenny slumped down in the black leather seat, his eyes on the floor.
Jesse took in the distraught expression darkening Kenny’s face.
He mentally chastised himself for his impatience and spoke in a gentler voice.
“Kenny, you and I have been due to sit down and talk about some things for a while now. And I’ll admit, I’ve been avoiding it just as much as you because I haven’t wanted to upset you, but we can’t avoid it anymore.
“You’ve never cared what a person looked like, where they came from, how much money they had, you’ve always looked past those things to see what their personality was.
You never even got mad when someone picked on you in school, well, except for that one kid who pushed you down in fifth grade and broke your Game Boy.
I still don’t know how I got stuck with detention and you didn’t. ”
Kenny chuckled softly. “Because before I could get up, you had thrown him on the ground and were making him eat dirt until he apologized to me.”
Jesse laid his head on the headrest, smiling from the memory.
He rolled his head to the side and looked at Kenny.
He didn’t want to break the little bit of comfort they had gathered, but he also didn’t want to have only brief moments of camaraderie with Kenny, he wanted every minute to be so.
“I guess what I’m getting at is you’ve always accepted everybody for who they are, so I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for you to do that with me. ”
“It’s not that I don’t accept you,” Kenny mumbled.
“But it is. You’ve known I’m gay since we were seventeen, but the first time I bring a guy home, you freak out on me.”
Kenny spun in the car seat, anger flooding his face and voice. “And you think because of that I don’t accept you? Did you ever stop to think maybe it was the guy you brought home who freaked me out?”
Jesse shook his head, confused. “Ev? Why would he freak you out?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because he’s one of the biggest recording artists in the last twenty years.
Maybe because he always used to put on a show that he was into girls, then I get to witness him hanging all over you.
Maybe because you never bothered sharing that half of your life with me, acting like I couldn’t understand because I’m straight, and the first time you decide to let me in on it, you’re shoving rock star Evan Arden in my face and telling me you spent the weekend at his mansion!
” His voice quieted. “Or maybe because since you met him, you’ve been acting like no one else exists. ”
Kenny’s sharp words stabbed into Jesse’s chest with as much physical pain as a dagger. Jesse looked away from him. All this time he thought he was doing good by Kenny and their friendship by shielding him from his sexuality, he never thought he was actually damaging it.
“I’m sorry,” Jesse said. His words sounded feeble to his own ears, he knew they sounded even weaker to Kenny’s.
His voice dripping sarcasm, Kenny said, “Oh, well, that makes up for it. Thanks.”
Both sat quiet. Jesse stared down at the Ferrari logo on the steering wheel, Kenny out the passenger side window. Tension hung in the car like a miasma. Jesse had heard silence could be deafening, but never really understood what it meant until that moment.
Kenny took a quick breath and held it, as if trying to decide on his words. “Will you answer one thing completely honestly for me?”
Jesse looked toward him. “I always answer you honestly.”
“Did you sleep with him to get our contract?”
“No! I already told you that! You say I haven’t confided in you about what I do with other guys, but here you sit accusing me of being a whore when I’ve laid everything out in the open for you about my relationship with Evan!”
“I’m not accusing you of being a whore! But I had to know.”
“You knew when I told you last week,” Jesse snarled between clenched teeth.
Silenced filled the Ferrari once again.
His gaze focused out the passenger side window, Kenny said softly, “You really like him, don’t you?”
“I’m in love with him.”
Kenny jerked his head toward him. “You just met him!”
“I can’t help it. It’s the way I feel, and he feels the same way.
There’s something very special between us.
I don’t know how to explain it, or if words even exist to begin to.
I just know when I think about him, when I look at him, touch him, kiss him, hear him laugh, the feelings I get go so far down inside me that I know they have to be reaching my soul because I can’t see the end of them. ”
Kenny stared at him for another moment, then slowly glanced away.
Jesse nudged Kenny with his elbow. “Not to mention how great the sex is. I thought I could be wild, but he’s unbelievable!”
Kenny laughed under his breath and shoved Jesse on his shoulder. “Idiot.”
“But hey, if you’re so curious about my sex life, I’m more than willing to start bragging, and damn, do I have a lot to brag about.
You already know about the first one, that Aaron guy on the beach, there’s no point in reliving that, and I can skip over everything else and go straight to bragging about Ev, because all the stuff in between really isn’t very entertaining.
It’s just been a lot of making out, groping, a blowjob here and there—”
“Alright! Can you at least ease me into hearing stories about my best friend doing things with guys I’m only used to seeing chicks do?”
A mischief filled smirk claimed Jesse’s countenance. “But I can do things a girl can’t, unless they have artificial aid, that is.”
Kenny sighed in exasperation and looked down at his watch. “It’s ten after nine. We better get in there.”
Jesse caught Kenny’s forearm to halt him from reaching for the door handle. “We’re cool now, right?”
A smile warmed Kenny’s face. “Yeah, we’re cool.”
Jesse leaned across the center console and puckered his lips. “Make up kiss?”
Kenny slammed him on the chest with the heel of his hand. “Dumbass!”
“Ow,” Jesse whimpered, rubbing his chest as he climbed out of the car.
He fell into stride beside Kenny and handed him the apartment listings.
“Here, take those. The other day I told Ev that I was worried about you living in our apartment all alone, so he called his real estate agent and had her look up some apartments here on the North Side.”
Kenny flipped through the listings as they crossed the street. “Did he bother telling her I’m not a multi-millionaire rock star like him? I can’t afford any of these places. I can’t even afford the shit-hole if I have to live there by myself.”
“You’ll be able to once our advance money comes in.
I’ve already calculated a solid estimate of what it’ll cost to record and promote the album, and how much we can safely take for ourselves to live off, including setting aside two equal amounts for our new band members.
These places are well within reach, and I figured since rent is due next week on the shit-hole, I’ll lend you the money to pay the first month’s rent at one of these places and you can pay me back whenever. ”
“You were working this out the whole time you were gone,” Kenny said quietly.
Jesse smiled, the look on Kenny’s face and the tone in his voice telling him how happy Kenny was that while he had been with Evan he hadn’t stopped thinking about him. He opened one of the double glass doors to the studio and stepped into the lobby.
They showed their driver’s licenses to the security guard, and a blonde receptionist told them to wait while she informed Greg they were there.
They stood in the lobby carpeted in dark maroon with small blue heraldic crests patterned on it.
A large tapestry of a gold and red phoenix with flames for feathers and its beak opened wide in call hung on the wall to their left.
A wooden plaque above it inscribed in Old English letters read,
Phoenix Records
Always Soaring
Jesse turned when he saw Greg walking down the hall directly across from the doors.