Chapter Sixteen
T he morning of the wedding, Raquel was heartsick. She was grateful that the wedding ceremony was in the afternoon, so she didn’t have to hurry out of bed because she didn’t think she could face anyone—least of all Alexandre, after their talk the previous night.
The breakfast tray with tea and toast lay untouched beside the bed as she sat looking out of the window, at the palm fronds that waved joyously in the morning breeze.
It was a beautiful tropical morning—humid, with the promise of becoming unbearably hot later in the day but for now, the sun was out, looking bright and happy as birds sang gaily in the trees outside her room.
If she strained her ears, she could hear the rush of waves through the open windows where gauzy drapes fluttered merrily.
It was the perfect day for a wedding. Only—her wedding wasn’t going to be perfect.
What wedding would be, without family and friends, and a partner who’d already warned her not to look to him for love?
Disappointment weighed heavily on her. She’d woken up early, only to rush to the bathroom where she’d been terribly sick.
Hauling herself off the bathroom floor, she’d gone through the motions of brushing her teeth and taking a shower before returning to bed.
A maid brought her breakfast but her appetite, along with her hopes for a good marriage, had fled.
Raquel laid her head back against the beautiful, cushioned headboard as she recalled her conversation with Alexandre. She’d gone to him with the hope of starting their marriage with friendship, wishing love would come along, but he had been quick to disillusion her.
I can’t offer you something that I don’t believe in.
Instead of asking for friendship, she had become greedy and had asked for love.
Only Alexandre didn’t even think love was a possibility.
He’d spoken of sexual attraction and believed it would be the driving force in their marriage while she had hoped for more.
How foolish of her! She should have known better than to ask for love from a renowned playboy!
Didn’t he use women and discard them after they’d served their purpose?
Hadn’t he said so himself? If she hadn’t fallen pregnant, would he have considered marrying her?
The sound of the door opening jerked her from her thoughts and Raquel looked up. “Ana!” she cried when she found her older sister, Anabela perched at the doorway with a beaming smile.
“Hello, beautiful bride!”
Raquel threw her legs off the bed and jumped to her feet just as Ana came sailing in and reached for a hug.
The sisters’ embrace was filled with love and emotional tears. When they withdrew from each other, Ana sniffed, wiping the tears off Raquel’s face.
“No crying today,” she chided, pulling them both down onto the bed. Looking around the bright, airy room, she whistled. “Quite a room you have here.”
Raquel smiled through her tears. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
Ana turned around to face her. “I didn’t know it either. I’ve been ringing you since that damned newspaper article came out.”
“My phone...” Raquel told her how her phone ended up in pieces under the mango tree. “I just walked out of home to clear my head and Alexandre appeared out of nowhere, offering me a chance to get away from the chaos.”
Ana shook her head with disbelief. “I should have known that Mother would get one of you girls to agree to this ridiculous marriage proposal. But I didn’t think she’d choose you...”
“She didn’t ask me.” Raquel told her how she ended up agreeing to marry Leandro.
“It just happened... and I totally lost my mind after that.” Her hands clasped tightly in her lap as she relieved those days of uncertainty.
“As the engagement date drew closer, I realized I was losing control of my life, and knew I had to get away. But I didn’t think I would meet. ..”
Ana looked a bit uncomfortable when she asked her, “Did you know who Alexandre was when you... you had a one-night stand with him?”
Raquel winced. Getting up, she went to stand by the window. She hadn’t told anyone about her one night with Alexandre, but surely it would be cathartic to tell someone the truth about that night?
“I didn’t know who he was. And it wasn’t like that...” she blurted, suddenly uncomfortable sharing intimate details of that night with her sister. “He... he was such a charming, kind man that night. I became enamored by him and somehow... things got out of hand.”
“I can’t believe this!” Ana shook her head. “You aren’t someone who’d go home with a random stranger.”
Color tinged her cheeks and Raquel was glad that she had her back to Ana.
“He was delightful that night. Chivalrous, funny and extremely attentive.” Yes, his undivided attention had made the difference.
For someone who had never been appreciated her entire life, his attention had been like a drug she’d got hooked on.
“He made me feel special—alive.” Her heart thundered inside her chest remembering that unforgettable night.
“We danced together for hours and when he asked me to go home with him, I knew I couldn’t say no. ”
Swiveling, she looked at Ana. “It was magical, Ana. I felt so happy, so free, and I knew if I said no to him, I would... regret it forever.” She frowned.
“And look where one night of madness landed me.” She threw out her hands to encompass the room—a luxurious room that was nothing more than a gilded cage.
“In a gorgeous house with a hunk of a husband,” Ana quipped, clearly not seeing her point.
When Raquel opened her mouth to speak, Ana put up one hand.
“I know, I know. This is no time to joke, and it really was a dangerous thing you did, going home with a stranger but at least Alexandre cares about you.”
Raquel’s brows creased. Yes, Alexandre cared about the baby and by extension, her, too but after their talk last night, she knew he had no emotional capacity for love, and it terrified her that she was tying herself to a stone-hearted man.
“And he’s offered you marriage,” Ana continued regardless of her conflicting thoughts.
“The papers might say many things about him—about the circumstances of his birth, and his playboy lifestyle but I have a feeling he is a good man. I agree I haven’t seen this hunk of a man in person, but on the phone, he sounded lovely, and I think you’ve hit the jackpot with him. ”
Raquel stared at her sister, wondering who had replaced her pragmatic sister. Had Ana fallen victim to Alexandre’s charm like she had that night?
“But this isn’t what I want, Ana!” Her cry puzzled Ana, who immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto the bed.
“What is it, Raquel?” Concerned eyes raked her face. “Tell me what’s bothering you?”
Squeezing her eyes shut, Raquel cried, “This isn’t what I wanted for myself, Ana. Not a wedding like this, and certainly not a husband like Alexandre!”
“Oh, Raquel!” Ana exclaimed—aghast. “I thought you liked the man.”
She shook her head though her heart screamed ‘yes’. She more than liked him and that terrified her. She remembered thinking on that fateful night that under the right circumstances she could fall in love with Alexandre. But now she feared that she was truly beginning to fall for him.
Hadn’t she begun to put his needs and wants before hers? Hadn’t she agreed to a marriage because he’d wanted to protect their child and offer it legitimacy while she hadn’t even entertained such a thought? And had she not begun to feel more than lust for him?
“Liking someone isn’t foundation enough for a marriage, Ana!”
Ana clucked her tongue. “I know this isn’t a love match, but don’t you feel more for Alexandre? I feel mutual attraction isn’t the only thing you both feel for each other. You clearly care about one another and this child, if not, you wouldn’t have decided to marry, yes?”
Wringing her hands, Raquel stood up. She paced the room as her heart raced. How was she going to explain to Ana that this marriage was no longer about lust and providing legitimacy for her child? It had become more. Her heart was getting involved and—it terrified her.
“Oh, Ana!” she cried. “I can’t marry Alexandre!”
Getting to her feet, Ana grabbed her arm. “Look, I know a lot has happened in the span of a few days and the pregnancy hormones certainly don’t help...”
“It’s not the hormones!” Her shriek had Ana jumping back from her. “I can’t marry him, Ana. I... I’m afraid...”
“What are you afraid of?”
“I’m afraid of falling in love with a man who will never love me back.”