Chapter 7
With the truth serum tucked in my pocket, the result of hours of work, I leave the pharmaceutical company behind and head to my car. My phone pings with a message from Tyson.
It will take a while until everyone knows she’s not available . Attached is a pic of Mia and a guy leaning into her at the bar.
Anger ripples through my torso, tightening my rib cage as if it’s caving in. Getting into my car, my fingers wrap around the wheel. I’m so damn torn.
Go back to the fucking compound. Do not go to the club.
Fuck it. I knew why I had to leave and stay away. With her so near me, it’s hard to remind myself why she and I are not a good idea. Just thinking of her with someone else makes me lose my fucking mind.
We have a damn mission to see through, and she’s thinking about dating.
I open the glove compartment and put the serum inside. My father can wait one more night. I have more pressing matters to take care of first.
Speeding away, I park behind The Cave and stomp inside.
Cracking my neck, I try to hold onto my control, but it goes to shit the moment I see the guy from Tyson’s picture eyeing Mia salaciously as if he’s imagining her on his dick. He grins at her with a big Cheshire cat smile that makes me want to pummel him. The asshole looks so proper in that shirt and slacks, ironed and styled from head to toe without a hair out of place––composed, someone I am not. I ignore that thought quickly as anger floods me. I hope the fucker takes a good look because I’m going to gouge his fucking eyes out.
Tyson intercepts me.
“Whoa, whoa. Wipe that look off your face. It’s not good for my business.”
“Then you should have gotten rid of him,” I grit out and storm toward the bar.
Mia stiffens the moment I am behind her.
Yes, feel me. Whatever inexplicable connection we have tethers us together.
I glare at the prick, who looks from her to me with furrowed brows. He struggles to say something, trying to act like a man who can handle me. No one fucking can, and I hope he gives me another reason to beat the shit out of him.
My hands curl and uncurl at my sides when she tilts her head and rolls her eyes at me. Fucking rolls. Her. Eyes. At. Me.
“Ignore him,” she says, waving a dismissive hand and redirecting her attention to him.
I am one second away from throwing her over my shoulder and telling her if she can’t be mine, I’d be damned if anyone else can have her. I am an absolute asshole, and I don’t fucking care.
“Get lost,” I say to him, and his eyes widen, looking like a damn fish out of water.
“Dude, I don’t have a beef with you, but you’re interrupting our date.”
“Should I leave, Mia?” I whisper in her ear, staring him down. Her neck breaks out in goose bumps. She’ll never remain unaffected by my presence. I hate it as much as I fucking love it.
She sucks in a breath, spins in her chair, and digs a finger into my chest. “It’s what you do best.”
Fuck, that stung. Would she be as offended and hurt if I revealed the reason I left to begin with?
“You think he deserves you?”
“I just want to have some fun.”
“And I want more for you.”
She glares at me. That fire licks at my skin, making me feel alive. No amount of fighting and alcohol could come even close to what she ignites in me.
I jerk my chin in his direction. “Do you know who I am?”
He stammers, “Y-Yes…”
“Okay, I will allow you to date her if you beat me in the ring.”
He wants to run away. It’s in his eyes, flitting toward the door while his leg bounces up and down.
Mia sees how nervous he is and sighs. “Really, Blake? He doesn’t stand a chance.”
I smirk, fully aware.
“You don’t have to do this,” she tries when we both know it’s a lost cause.
“He most definitely does.”
“We’re not in medieval times, and I am not some damsel you have to fight for her honor.”
“But deep down, you want that, don’t you?”
Her mouth parts, but she clamps it shut. If her eyes could talk, that would be a different story. Mia is honest to the bone. A good person. The woman I should have never laid eyes on. It was bad enough that she haunted my days and nights while I was away, but it’s worse now that she’s so near, and I can’t do a fucking thing about it.
“Look, Mia, I like you, but I….” He doesn’t even finish his sentence before he stands up. That this bastard doesn’t even have the decency to fight for her pisses me off even more than my jealousy. I fucking lose it. I grip the back of his collar and smash my fist into his nose. He stumbles back, wailing.
“Blake! Oh my god,” Mia says with wide eyes. She tries to go to the douchebag, but my next words stop her.
“He asked for it, and Silver, don’t test me right now. I’ll paint this damn floor red with his blood.”
Holding his bloody nose, he scurries away as everyone watches with rapt interest. Good. The news will spread, and that’s one less thing I have to worry about.
I take his seat while she squints at me, her nose making these cute crinkles. Even mad, she looks adorable.
“That was unnecessary.”
“Unnecessary is whatever you’re doing.”
She takes a sip of her drink, glaring at me. “Dating. That’s what I am doing.”
“Searching for ‘the one’?”
She inches her face toward mine. Our lips are so close, almost touching. One slight dip of my head and I’d devour her—and ruin her for all others.
Her tongue pokes out, and she licks her lower lip, adding fuel to someone who’s already burning from within.
“Yes. And you can’t stop that.” Indignation colors her tone. “What is your problem, anyway?”
I snake my hand around the back of her neck and hold her close to me—close enough for her sweet scent to activate the madness in me. Close enough that I am entertaining things I shouldn’t.
“You want to date, then fucking date. Find someone who would go against me in the ring, and I will step away.”
She crosses her arms, mumbling. “Who would that be?”
Someone who will want you bad enough. Like I fucking do, because I’d take on the entire world for her. Yet, I can’t fight my demons.
Acceptance settles in my chest. I don’t know how, but when the day comes, I will shake the asshole’s hand and imagine the most fucked up what-if of my life: how it would have been if I were in his place. I already know, from the fist clenching around my lungs and making it hard to breathe, that losing her will fuck me up for good.
“You seem pretty motivated, so I am sure you can find someone.”
“Just for clarification. If I do find that guy, you’ll stop sabotaging my dates?”
“I will,” I say through a clenched jaw.
She offers her hand, and we shake on it. We both look at our hands clasped together. Hers perfectly molded to mine, her soft touch against my calloused one. My peace and war. My inferno and heaven.
She gestures for Xander, and he puts two shots in front of us. While she raises hers, I stare at the transparent liquid, which lost its potent numbing effects the night I threw a party in my senior year of high school. It got out of hand, but I lost it when Abi returned from her stint in rehab for her eating disorder and told us everything about her initiation. My father, being who he is, made sure I could never get drunk again. That’s not the only thing he experimented on me with.
“You’re not drinking anymore,” she whispers, as if not to scare me away. “Why?”
I move to leave when she grips my wrist. “Talk to me. Please. I just…”
That’s always been the problem. With her, I want to tell her everything. Be hers and let myself drown in all her softness and goodness. But all I can offer her is my darkness and fucked up brain.
“Mia, that guy is not me.”
That seems to wake her up. She stands up and waves at Xander to pay the tab, but I take care of it instead. She mumbles, “I’m too tired to deal with you right now.”
On the way out, she hugs Tyson, and I stare him down while the asshole smirks, hugging her tighter. Once we’re outside, she starts walking toward the house. This girl is going to be the death of me.
“Mia.”
“I am old enough to take care of myself.”
“Get your ass in my car.”
She turns around, huffing. “I managed just fine while you were away.”
“Bitter?”
Mia storms in my direction, but I scoop her up and toss her over my shoulder.
She lets out a yelp. “Put me down. What has gotten into you?”
You, damn it. I can’t stay away. If something happened to her, I would go nuclear, reducing the world to nothing but atomic dust.
Opening the car door, I place her in the passenger seat.
“Get out and I’ll chase your ass down.”
The struggle to challenge me sparks in her silver eyes like rivulets of platinum. I hope she does. I hope she doesn’t because I can barely keep the part of me that wants to fucking ravish her leashed.
Climbing into the driver’s seat, I press the start button. The short ride is silent, and a pang hits my chest. She has always been talkative. I could listen to her talking and asking hundreds of questions for hours. But that was before. Before I ruined us.
The silence is too much, and I let a low grumble out.
“I got the serum.”
“Mm-hmm,” she says, clearly uninterested.
“You should focus on the mission rather than going on subpar dates.”
“If you say so.”
“Stop provoking me.”
Her brows shoot to her hairline. “And what are you going to do about it?” She laughs, a derisive sound that makes me burn hotter than a damn supernova. “Coward.”
That fucking word puts a bullet in my rationality that is almost nonexistent in her presence. Swerving the car to the side, I cut the engine and lean in close.
“Say that again and see what happens.”
Neither of us is good at backing off from a challenge. The air thickens with intensity, heavy with all this suppressed desire, and I almost choke on it as our eyes lock. That invisible cord between us sizzles with tension. One spark, and it would electrify us.
She trails a nail down my chest, leaving a scorching fire behind. “Coward.”
My sanity short-circuits, the pieces fried away and lost forever.
I drag her over the center console, and she ends up on my lap. With one hand, I cup the back of her neck while the other rests on her ass, grabbing her cheek. This girl is perfection. A beautiful damnation. The only one I have ever truly wanted.
I slam my mouth against hers, groaning as I finally feel her lips against mine. It’s so divine that I think I experience heaven.
She lets out a moan my starved being feeds off. My tongue traces the contour of her full lips, and she opens her mouth in invitation. That’s it. Every flimsy thread of control disintegrates. I plunge in, and her sweet taste, mixed with tequila, intoxicates me. Tasting, devouring, conquering, I won’t stop until she gasps for air and I get my fill. I groan, painfully aware that could never happen. It’s an urgent, passionate kiss, our tongues tangling as our lips move with a hunger that only the other’s taste can satiate.
My father cured me of all potential addictions, but he never anticipated her. Neither did I.
Her hands grip the ends of my hair, tugging at it. If I could feel pain, it would surely hurt. That’s what she wants, but it only proves her desperation for me. She wants to feel what I do to her, to hurt me like I hurt her. But her absence was the worst pain of all.
“Look at you, Silver. You’re burning for me. You come undone just by my mouth while in my arms. And no fucker on this planet could make you feel like that,” I say through a kiss. My cock hardens to the point that my vision blackens.
“I won’t rest until I find someone.”
I growl as I take her mouth again and pour every broken piece into her, making her feel what she does to me. How she unravels me.
When the kiss ends, we both gasp for some much-needed air. She has a glazed-over expression, and her full lips glisten. It was me who put that look on her face. It was my mouth that kissed her like that. Me and no one else.
With every second we stare at each other, she wakes from her trance. Scooting back into her seat, she scowls. “I don’t remember giving you permission to kiss me.”
“When the fuck did I need it? Wanna start now?”
“Your self-assuredness and arrogance are unparalleled.”
“Stating facts, Silver.”
“Why do you insist on calling me that? Yes, I have silver eyes. Still, use my name.”
It has nothing to do with the color of her eyes but what she represents for me.
The problem with her is I know with every fucked up fiber of my being that if I let her in, she’d deplete herself to fill me. When the darkness becomes too much, it would be so tempting to take her and see how she’d break apart for me. I’d flood her with my demons so she’d be mine. But I can’t be selfish. Not with her.
Look at me being selfless while my heart and body are at war, making my insides a bloody combat zone.
“Mia, please stop provoking me. Stop flaunting yourself in front of me. It won’t end well. If you keep insisting, one night I am going to indulge. I am nothing like the man of your dreams. Don’t make me turn into the man of your nightmares.”
Silence follows, dropping like a hammer that crashes between us, separating us into two parallel islands.
She doesn’t look back once we’re at the house. All I want is to go after her. I can’t go inside in my weakened state. She fucking consumes me—heart, body, and mind.
I stay inside the car until I calm down, waiting until I’m sure I won’t do something stupid like chase after her and give in to my madness until we’re nothing but naked flesh and fiery passion.
When I enter the house, I see Kaden, Hunter, and Dane on the couch in the living room, playing a racing video game. Dane jerks his chin toward the screen, but I decline and go to the kitchen. Celine is there, jotting notes on a tablet on the table, but she stops when she notices me.
“Hi, you.”
I drag a hand down my face. “I have the serum.”
“Never doubted it.”
She smiles at me, then says, “You know what hurts the most?”
I guess she needs a one-on-one. Fine, the things I do for them all. I’ll take it if that makes my friends feel better.
“I was away for two years, and when I returned, I was so jealous of your bond. I acted like a lunatic because that was my cry for help.”
I chuckle. “I enjoyed your chaos. It made me forget for a while.”
She places a hand on mine. “We were all so damn selfish while you were drowning right in front of us.”
“I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”
“Please forgive me.”
Emotions knot in my throat. “Are we getting emotional?”
“Kaden is a mess. You know he won’t show it. He loves you.”
“Stop. Manipulation doesn’t work on me.”
Hurt flashes in her dark blue eyes. “I’m not trying to manipulate you, asshole. I am trying to bring this family back together.” She raises her voice, and not even a second later, Kaden’s shadow casts over the room.
I shrug. “Don’t take it personally.”
“I am taking it personally.”
“Wanna fight?” I ask her, and Kaden groans behind me, but he can’t say no to her.
“Fine. Meet me in the gym,” she replies.
They exchange an intense look, and then I hear her going downstairs.
“What the fuck, man?”
“Don’t fucking worry, asshole. I’d never give her my all.”
He rakes a hand through his hair, worry lining his eyes. “I went to the office today. It will take me forever to go through all the customers and uncover any shady dealings.”
“Let’s take this one step at a time. They’re fucking prisoners.”
They fucked us up good growing up. Having fathers like them, breathing down our necks and watching our every move, left marks. Even though they’re trapped, their existence still makes us nervous.
As we look at each other, it’s the first moment neither of us yells or goes for a hit since I returned.
Bailey walks in, and she steals a glance at Kaden, but he doesn’t acknowledge it. Fuck. Our family is in tatters if Kaden and Bailey are on bad terms.
“Hey, I was thinking...” We both look at her, and she continues, “I want to learn how to fight.”
“He’s not a teacher, Bailey. He’s a damn fighter. You’d need to start with the basics.”
“I could teach her,” Hunter says, walking in and sucking the air from the room. Bailey’s back goes ramrod straight as their eyes lock. The tension they both emanate is all-encompassing. I have my own problems, so I leave and head toward the basement.
Excitement takes over Celine’s features as we tap our hands wrapped in white gauze. She gets into a fighting stance, legs spread shoulder-width apart, hands up. “I haven’t fought in a while.”
“I’ll hold back. It’s not me disrespecting you as a fighter, it’s knowing my boundaries. If you’re okay with that, we can begin.”
“Thank you. We don’t have much time. Kaden’s going to come in here at any moment.”
“Overbearing asshole.”
She giggles, and I gesture for her to approach me. Her fist flies toward my face, but I deflect it. I lift my arms in a defensive posture as we circle each other. Whenever she looks for an opening, I punch her in the shoulder. She huffs but doesn’t stop, all feisty and determined.
“Were you always this freaking good? I don’t know whether to be impressed or pissed at you.”
“I held back with everyone, Celine. Nothing personal.”
“It can’t be easy posing as someone you’re not.”
In one swift movement, I am behind her. Locking my arm around her throat, I take her down. “Don’t let your guard down.”
She tries to roll away, but I have her in a chokehold before I finally let her go.
She pants slightly. “Damn, that hit my ego hard.”
“You’re not the sore loser I thought you’d be.”
“I am happy and that helps. I don’t fight to prove a point anymore, but because I like it.”
That must feel fucking amazing, finding peace. I purge that useless thought away and focus back on the fight when Kaden comes inside, to no one’s surprise. “Daddy’s here.”
“Shut up,” she smiles and tries to hit me again.
“Come on, asshole. I know you’re dying to get at me.”
“Two against one?” he asks. “Doesn’t seem fair.”
“No disrespect, but I fought in cages with guys on steroids and nothing to lose.”
They exchange a worried look, and while the asshole tapes his hands, he says, “I see you’re not over your suicidal tendencies.”
“Less talking, more fighting.”
They surround me, fully in fight mode. Like a well-oiled machine, they come at me one after the other. They land a few hits, but I hit them twice as much.
A genuine smile parts my lips when the asshole grunts.
“I don’t know what angers me more. That you don’t even break a sweat or that we’re two against one, and you’re still winning.”
“Don’t take it personally.”
That changes the mood instantly, the temperature turning icy.
“But you fucking took it personally, Blake.”
“Baby,” Celine tries, but he storms off while I watch him disappear out the door. I hurt him too, and guilt tears at my composure once again.
“I told Cassandra it wasn’t a good idea for me to return.”
“If you truly think that, then go. Fucking leave like we’re not your family.”
She stomps away. My head lowers as the door opens again, and Hunter comes inside.
I could fight this entire planet, but it would not be enough to make the hurt bearable. I abandoned them.
Needing an outlet for my suppressed emotions, I glare at him. “This is going to hurt.”