Chapter 23
Mia lies cuddled to my side, her hand placed on my chest. She hasn’t removed it, as if making sure she can feel my heartbeat. I can’t take my eyes off her—not just because her beauty enraptures me, but because I want to embed in my soul this image of her safely tucked in my arms, where nothing could take her from me.
The mission could have ended in a damn tragedy, but it also fills me with vicious determination to keep her safe. I won’t lose her. I refuse to.
Caleb and Felix might have won this battle, but the war is not over. I am going to eradicate them.
“I need you to promise me something,” she says, looking at me with those bewitching eyes of hers.
“What do you want, Silver?”
“You, Blake… and you would have died to protect me.”
“Don’t make me break a promise, then. You’re mine. I would gladly die for you.”
“But could you imagine living with me?”
I bring her fingers to my lips and kiss each tip before placing her palm back on my chest. “This organ beats for you. I’ll live as long as you live.”
She kisses me softly and says, “I want this over with. I finally have you, and it feels so frail, like at any moment, you could be taken from me.”
“I can promise you one thing. I will always try to find a way back to you.”
She nods, and her lashes flutter before they rest on her cheek. Her breathing turns deep with sleep.
I take my time contemplating the wonder of my life. So much time lost, but I’ll be damned if I don’t make a life with her possible.
Sliding out of bed, I tiptoe out of the room.
Kaden is in the kitchen looking outside the window, his body tense. I gulp down a glass of water and then approach him.
“They want us dead,” he says.
“We went behind their backs, captured, imprisoned and tortured them, and our worth has always been in obeying them.”
“We have to find out who the men working for them are.”
“I am waiting for Cato to give me some information.”
“And what does he want in exchange? How much power do those fuckers need? The Syndicate already rules the underworld.”
“He never said, but I think they want an in with the Family. Isn’t more power what they’re most interested in?”
“Let’s hope that’s it, and they don’t want you. He won’t get you. I’ll start another war with the Syndicate and the Boston mafia for you.”
“Do you think I fucking want that? Especially not now, but if that’s the price to find those assholes and eliminate them, then so be it. The Family has ruled from the shadows for centuries. Let’s not start a beef with the fucking Syndicate.”
“I have your back. Will make them an offer they can’t refuse, and if they do, we’ll go to war with the damn underground if we need to.”
“Getting emotional?” I ask, trying to diffuse the tension, but I love the fact he would do that for me. “Mia doesn’t know. I don’t want to worry her on top of everything. Plus, if we find them before the Syndicate, it would be a moot point.”
He jerks his chin in acknowledgment, and Hunter steps inside. “Holding a meeting without me?”
The asshole is so dramatic.
“How’s my sister?” he asks.
“Asleep…”
“Thank you for––”
“You don’t have to thank me for that.”
He offers a nod, his jaw clenching. “I worry about Bailey.”
“Have a soft spot for her?” Kaden baits him.
Hunter’s features tighten to the point his body might snap. You can deny feelings, but it’s like bottling them up in a jar—sooner or later, the pressure will make them explode.
“She’s nonstop on her laptop and blaming herself.”
When Dane walks inside, we cast glances at each other.
“Can’t sleep either? Fuck, I just need their location like yesterday.”
“Get in line. It’s not like we’re not eager to kill them as well,” Hunter tells him.
“I told Cassandra to let me kill them, but no, we had to take the high road and now…”
“We won’t make the same mistake twice,” I reassure Dane.
I move to leave when Kaden says, “Three times, if you count when I had the chance to kill Felix. And no solo missions either,” he warns, looking at me.
Needing to check on Bailey to see how she’s holding up, I knock on her door and let myself in. Bailey is at her desk, scanning the two screens—one displaying a live map, the other running a face detection program. Her hair is pulled into a messy bun on top of her head.
“Bailey,” I say her name in a gentle tone, not to scare her when she whips her face to me. When she sees it’s me, she sighs a breath of relief.
“I’m fine,” she says, sounding defensive.
“You don’t have to lie to me. We don’t do that,” I say, reminding her of the pact we made when we were younger.
“It’s just easier to say that than give into how I truly feel. Whoever is helping them is better than I am.”
I squat in front of her and take her hands in mine.
“I doubt that. Remember, we’re a team. And we survived. That’s what matters.”
“You could have died today because of me.”
“I’m harder to kill than that. We need you level-headed, so don’t let whoever’s behind this get in your head. I am pretty sure that’s the plan—to destabilize you. Doubts never helped anyone.”
She drops into my arms, and I hold her tightly. I wait for her to end the hug, and when she does, her aquamarine eyes flash with determination.
“I’ll find them.”
“I’m sure you will.”
A yawn parts her lips, and I scoop her up and place her on the bed.
“No, I need to keep watching those.”
“You sleep, and I promise I will watch them for you. Perks of not being able to sleep. I need to do something before I lose my damn mind.”
She turns to the side and falls asleep instantly.
While I keep monitoring the screens, it’s like looking from the outside with no way inside. We’re fighting with ghosts. Whoever is helping them is professional. They think they’re in control—for now. But I will strip them of that and shove the truth down their throats: that it was nothing more than a sham.
I will get the names of everyone who helps them. No one can stay in the dark for too long. If greed pushes them to help Felix and Caleb, I will offer them double the amount—that or death. Loyalty is something you build, not buy.
Returning from my mental wanderings, I focus on the screens in front of me. I can’t disappoint Bailey. I said I would watch the screens, and I will. But I’m leaving the moment the sun is up, so Mia will wake up and find me beside her.
Hours tick by with no new information. I pluck my small dagger from the strap around my ankle and read the inscription. There are two sides. And neither is completely right or wrong. I wonder, and not for the first time, if Grandmother knew what I did. Something tells me she did, but it was too late, anyway. The untraceable poison had already destroyed her organs. Yet she wanted me back.
The guilt over what I had to do will never be erased. But it was her life or my friends. I won’t ever apologize for that, yet it tainted my soul to the point I wanted to die and be holed up in hell as punishment.
And for what? They want us dead anyway.
When the first timid rays of the sun peek through the curtain after a long, silent night, I rub my eyes. I have spent hours observing the screens with no new intel. But at least I came up with a plan to present to the group.
I stand up, cracking my neck to loosen my stiff muscles. I’ve been trying to ignore the pacing outside the door, knowing it’s Hunter. But now I need him to take my place.
When I open the door, he sits on the floor with his back against the opposite wall. He scoots up, looking like he hasn’t slept either.
“How is she?” he asks.
“Asleep. Watch those screens for me, will you?”
He nods and tiptoes inside.
The moment I am back in my bedroom, my heart fills with emotions I never thought I could have.
Mia whispers my name in her sleep, warming my chest. I climb into bed, pull her to my side, and close my eyes for a bit.
When I wake up, she’s not there, and I groan low, rolling out of bed. Going in search of my light, I find her in the kitchen alone, preparing a batch of muffins.
Stealthily, I move to wrap my arms around her from behind when she tilts her head, grinning.
“I knew you were there.”
Crossing my arms and hands around her belly, I place my chin on her shoulder. “Is that so?”
“I had training, plus I always sense you.”
Yes, we’ve gravitated toward each other since the beginning, an inexplicable yet indelible connection binding us.
“Did I give you permission to leave my bed?”
She giggles, rolling her eyes at me playfully. “Didn’t know I had to ask.”
“Now you do.”
She turns into my arms and cups my cheeks. “You needed the sleep.”
“I need you more than that,” I say, brushing my nose against hers. “I was in Bailey’s room until dawn, and I could only convince her to sleep if I watched the screens.”
“You’re such a loyal and trustworthy person.”
Those words stab at me, but not worse than her eyes brimming with affection. I push the lump down my throat, knowing I will have to tell her what I did, but I am scared shitless of how she will react. I doubt I will survive her leaving me.
“No, I’m not, Mia.”
She opens her mouth, surely to contradict me, but I claim her lips in a deep kiss, letting myself get swept away in the heaven of her.
While I help her put the muffins on a separate plate, I snatch one. “You have me addicted to these.”
“What else?”
“Your presence, your mouth, your touch, your body, your pussy. You in your entirety, and it’s your fault.”
“I take full accountability,” she says, sounding so damn pleased, making me want to be whatever this woman needs me to be.
“You sure have by giving yourself to me.”
“And I love that,” she says breathlessly.
I move to the coffee machine, preparing a cup of coffee, and we end up drinking from one mug. My lips always find where hers have been. It’s strangely personal. I understand Kaden and Dane better now. The one you love is worth everything.
“What’s Hunter’s deal?” I ask, aware of the stark contrast between them. Mia is not afraid to show her feelings.
“He wasn’t always like this, but with every year, he pulled away, creating this distance between us,” she says in a sad voice laced with hurt.
“Which is stupid because I feel something is wrong but…”
“He’s a stubborn one, isn’t he?”
“Look who’s talking.”
“You wore me down.” I nudge her side.
“Took me long enough.”
I burst into laughter. No one in this world makes me feel like her––lighthearted, a blend of elation and ease. Our moment is interrupted when our friends pile into the kitchen.
Shit, I wanted to tell her about the plan first, but I forget my own damn mind when I am near her.
The assholes known as our friends dig into the muffins, but when Dane moves to take the last one, I swat his hand away and place it on Mia’s plate instead.
“You’re so bloody obvious I might throw up,” Hunter says grumpily.
“Of course, because every gesture of affection does,” Bailey mumbles.
He glares at her, hurt crossing his eyes for a moment.
Abigail places her half on Dane’s plate, and he feeds her. I believe he will never be totally comfortable when Abi doesn’t eat her portion, so he feeds her instead to be sure.
Celine rests her head on Kaden’s shoulder, and he gently caresses her side while he tears the muffins into small pieces and places them on her plate. It’s a typical breakfast morning —together and alive—but the tension lingers, a cloudy presence more intense than the snowstorm brewing outside.
“I was thinking,” I say, and everyone directs their attention to me.
Mia places a hand on my thigh, and I cover hers with mine, interlacing our fingers.
“We need to find out how they got the money. It’s obvious they have plenty in order to finance those mercenaries. If we find the money, that will lead us to Felix and Caleb. We need connections to the underground that will help us find them. It can’t hurt.”
Kaden nods and says, “Bailey, check everyone’s finances.”
“On it.”
She gets on her phone, and her brows pinch together, her face paling by the second.
“It’s our money—the sum we’ve been slowly pulling out over the last two years to fund our escape.”
“What?” we all ask.
“Ten million, all gone. And I can’t trace any of it,” she sighs, shutting her eyes.
“Bailey, look at me,” Hunter says.
She does, and he adds, “Pull yourself together. In fights, you can’t always win.”
“We have the money of the Family now. Don’t stress out, Bailey,” Abi says.
“If we pay people off for information, someone will start talking,” Celine says.
“I’ll talk to Cato. It’s better we have the Syndicate at our side,” I say.
“And I’ll talk to Cassandra,” Kaden says.
“We need to establish our power as the next generation anyway,” Dane says.
“But first, we need to show our faces in our classes. We can’t have people talking,” Abi says, and we all nod in agreement.
With the plan in motion, the gloom fades into the background.
While everyone shuffles outside, I wait for Mia to finish her muffin. She looks at me with those knowing eyes.
“Who is Cato exactly, and how do you know him?”
“He’s the heir to the Boston Mafia and one member of the Syndicate, which rules the underground. He came to one of my fights because I piqued his interest.”
“What deal did you make with him?”
She’s too damn smart. “Don’t try to sugarcoat it. It will only make me mad,” she adds, propping her ass against the counter and crossing her arms.
“I told him I’d do anything if he finds them before I do.”
She inhales in a lungful of air, her gaze lowering.
“You never intended to stay,” she whispers, her words so soft I can barely hear them.
Lifting my hand to touch her, I don’t even know what I intend to do: keep her or myself anchored. “Mia…”
She pushes at my chest, and nothing I have endured hurts more than her rejection. When I see her glistening eyes, it butchers me on the inside, I can barely stand.
She wipes the corners of her eyes with the back of her hands. Then, picking up her bag, she storms outside.
When I reach her side, she says, “I need a bit of distance.”
The wind and snow clashing together around us have nothing on the icy blast hitting me square in the chest with her words, lashing at the naked organ behind until it freezes to death.
“I wish I could offer you that, but we both know why I can’t.”
“Of course you can’t, but it’s so damn easy for you to leave me.”
I grip her wrist and spin her around, backing her into a tree on the sidewalk.
“I had my reason for doing that. A fucking valid reason. I never wanted my darkness to sully you. I left to punish myself for wanting something as pure as you while my blood is tainted. Yet, the moment Cassandra told me what was going on, I came back. For you. Be mad at me, yell and cuss me out, whatever it will take to make it better for you. But never tell me again that it’s easy for me to leave you. It’s the hardest fucking thing I have ever had to do.”
My chest heaves with my deep breathing. I need her to believe me.
She looks at me with big, incredulous eyes. If I get the chance, I will glue myself to her side for the rest of our lives, so she will never look at me like she does right now, distrust etched on her flawless face. She wants to believe me, but she can’t. I broke her heart once, and I still have to earn her trust.
Lowering my forehead on hers, I say, “It’s okay if you don’t believe me. But please don’t take yourself away from me.”
“I never could…”
She believes that her feelings have been one-sided. I wish I could turn back time and get my shit together. But on top of everything happening in my life, juggling working for my father, making sure Cassandra was okay, and trying to find a way out, Mia crashed into my life. I thought she was divine punishment for what I did behind my friends’ backs, what I had to do to make sure they survived. Only to realize she was the hope I needed to push through the darkness. Sure, I left, but I needed that fucking time to come to terms with who I am. And what I am is an abomination, but she doesn’t seem to mind.
“I’m sorry because I’d never let you go.”
She offers a small nod, and with her tucked to my side, we walk toward the main campus when that asshole Tyson intercepts us.
“Aww, look at you being cozy with my girlfriend,” he taunts.
I grab him around his throat and squeeze. I don’t let go until Mia places her hand on mine.
“Say that fucking again,” I snarl, pushing him away.
He chuckles like the insane person he is. “So, is she yours now?”
“Yes.”
“Does she feel the same?”
I’m about to get in his face when Mia steps between us. Placing her palms on my chest, she tilts her head toward Tyson. “I do, so please, could you guys stop this testosterone bullshit?”
Those two words drain me of the madness and jealousy coursing through me. She confirmed it, so he can go fuck himself.
She lifts onto her toes, kisses my lips, and then goes to class.
“You can thank me later,” the smug asshole says.
I shake my head, and he adds, “So what the fuck is happening here?”
“We have it under control.”
“If someone catches wind that your legacy might be in trouble, the enemies will line up.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Chill the fuck out, man. I want to build my own empire, not take another one.”
I offer a strained nod. I might snap at any moment with how tense I am, but my worry increases every day we don’t find something.
“I need a favor,” I tell him. “Put a stop to every rumor that may appear on campus.”
“A favor for a favor. That’s how it always works.”
We shake hands, and he says, “Glad to help.”
I don’t care how many deals I have to make with the devil. Tyson is right. People will want to come after our legacy if they think they have a shot. I will make sure no one even dares to consider it.
For the first time in a while, I walk to class with a swagger. You were right, Grandmother—I am the duplicitous one . The Family needs me, someone who can be presentable on the outside while having connections to the underground.