Chapter 27
You’re a filthy liar, she texts to Nick one night. Her insides feel like a burned-out building, full of ash and melted bones.
She wants to tear him open and destroy him the way he’s destroying her.
He calls after that text, his name dancing across her screen, making her head hurt and a sob crawl up her throat. It feels like her heart is being stomped on. Repeatedly.
Kara doesn’t answer the phone.
***
Next Thursday arrives with a herald of doom hanging over Kara’s head. It’s the party at Calais, Vickers, and Yates tonight and she’s been dreading it for days.
There’s no place in the world she’d rather not go to more at this point.
Dietrich had no reason to lie about the fiancée thing. Well, maybe he could have a reason, something hidden from sight, but Kara doubts it. He seemed positively gleeful to see some sort of horror show unfold at the party.
Kara can trust that; he seems to enjoy chaos.
She fusses over her outfit, trying to think of what will be considered appropriate. She’s torn; she feels empty enough that she almost doesn’t care, but at the same time she wants to look like the finest bitch to walk through the doors, just to spite Nick.
She doesn’t want to see another woman standing next to him. Kara’s stomach clenches and her heart hurts. It’s just not fair. His refusal to believe in commitment…a lie.
As she’s pulling on a burgundy merlot dress, her doorbell rings. Kara frowns, huffing in irritation. She peers through the eyehole and curses at what she sees. Opening the door, Kara says, “Look, I told you I’d come down when I’m good and ready-”
Dietrich walks right into her apartment, ignoring her. Immediately, she regrets telling him where she lives, a thing she never even told Nicholas.
Furious, Kara snaps. “I didn’t invite you in!” She doesn’t want him in here, looking at her things, seeing her home, her only refuge. First, he invades her life, now he’s invading her privacy.
“Am I a vampire now?” He chuckles, walking around her place like he owns it, his Italian leather shoes clicking on her floors. His charcoal suit is utter perfection, tailored to his athletic frame. The black pocket square matches his midnight shirt and tie. Somehow, he pulls off severe and dominant rather well, right along with handsome. “I don’t need an invite.”
Kara points at her open doorway. “Out.”
He frowns at her, nose twisting like he’s smelled something awful. “What in God’s name are you wearing? We are not doing Whore of Babylon and the Beast tonight. Where is your closet…” He’s already wandering off, deeper into her condo, looking for her bedroom.
Kara’s mouth drops open. Does he literally have no shame?
Following after him with her hands clenched, Kara feels a wash of embarrassment crash over her, finding him going through her clothes. She’s already left bras and underwear strewn out across the floor, casualties of war.
Well, at least he’s not saying anything about it.
Instead, he puts a tasteful all-black dress against her frame, eyes narrowed and calculating. Kara sighs, flopping her hands. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
Dietrich takes the austere black dress off the hook, holding it out to her. “You look good, but red screams that you’re looking for attention. I’m already the most powerful man in the room; you don’t need a flashy dress to draw interest. Put this on.”
Gritting her teeth, Kara considers arguing with him more, but it doesn’t seem worth it. What does she care? He walks out of her room, leaving her to it without a word. She’s almost shocked.
When she re-emerges dressed in the classic black dress that comes just above her knees, Dietrich runs his eyes over her, assessing. “Better. Let’s go.”
Putting her flashy black heels on, Kara stands next to him in the entryway. Their image reflects back at them in the mirror by the door. Dietrich grins, his wide smile painfully bright. “Oh, you look really nice as arm candy. Don’t look so glum, this going to be a blast. Nicholas is going to be furious.”
Once more, Kara’s thoughts drift back to knowing that she’s going to have to face Nick…and the woman he’s never told Kara about, not once. It hurts like an ice pick straight in her chest, like a thousand storms raging across her bones.
How could Nick use me like that?
Because he’s not a good man and you’ve known it all along. You were too stupid to walk away and now it’s too late; your heart is collateral.
She’s almost sure that she hates him. Almost, but not quite, because there’s a sliver inside of her that still twists at the thought of him holding her down, his filthy mouth against hers, burning her from the inside out with his twisted desires.
The office is decorated with lovely little pale lights for the occasion. Kara can hear the buzz of many voices as they exit the elevator to the office floor and start walking through the office lobby. Wordlessly, Dietrich pulls her closer to him, setting her hand loosely in the crook of his arm.
Kara feels apprehension; she doesn’t want to be here. She wants to be anywhere else.
Faces turn to them instantly upon their entrance to the main celebration area. Kara worries for a moment that something is wrong, something is on her face or maybe her underwear is showing through the dress, because why is everyone looking?
Her nerves are frazzled and all the faces are a blur.
After a few horrifying moments in her head, she realizes the staring isn’t because of her; it’s because of who she’s with . A few different men come forward with big smiles, looking to shake Dietrich’s hand, uttering words of greeting and mentions of ‘we met once before’, all sorts of heinous groveling that has Kara floored.
Their eyes rake over her with vague interest while they suck up to him, as if wondering who she is and what has drawn Dietrich Bittinger to her. Like suddenly, because perhaps he wants her, at least in their minds, she’s a hot commodity that they need to be in on.
It’s very, very strange.
To combat her feelings of unease, Kara adopts an expression of being bored, perhaps even believing herself above it all. She can play a role, a role that she’s on the arm of the most sought-after man in the room and she’s the one with him, she’s the one he chose.
It feels a bit like power. Like everyone is just a little bit less . Kara draws on that sensation, fills herself with it. The more she sinks into the role, the more powerful she feels, looking at men from under lowered lashes in a manner she never cared for in the past.
It does the trick, because many flush and look away from whatever they see in her gaze. As if they are bugs being crushed under her stiletto heel.
The frivolities continue and Kara almost relaxes as her world narrows to just floating around on Dietrich’s arm. She doesn’t have to do much. It’s simple. Her purpose is to be an extension of Dieter.
Then, she sees him .
On the far side of the office, Nick is half leaning on one of the desks, chatting with a few other people. The sight of him is like being kicked in the chest; the woman beside him makes Kara feel like she’s forgotten how to think.
Her world fizzles a bit, the edges of her vision going black with rage and despair.
The woman is elegant. Pretty. Midnight hair to her lower back, along with pale eyes and an expensive purse on her shoulder than must cost an arm and a leg. She’s got red lips and a tight smile, not too friendly, yet somehow not crossing into absolutely frigid.
Kara hates how this woman looks like she belongs next to Nick. She fits the image of perfection. Of class. Everything that Kara isn’t. Her lungs feel like they are closing up.
Then, Nick’s eyes catch on Kara from across the room, mid conversation.
If Kara’s heart could drop any further into her stomach, it would. Her chest tightens and it feels like the world is tipping sideways for a moment. The air disappears in the room. She blinks her eyes and looks away, feeling ill, feeling like she’s going to be sick all over the perfect pale floor.
Then, a warm hand settles over her own, the body beside her pressing ever closer. Dietrich whispers in her ear, a wicked smirk on his lips as his breath plays on her skin. “I wish I could take a picture to immortalize that fucking look on his face. Priceless.”
He’s not wrong.
When Nick’s electric blue eyes catch on Kara’s face, his jaw clenches and his shoulders stiffen visibly. All the jovial mood seems to drain right out of him, seeing her next to Dietrich, her small hand sitting in the crook of his arm.
He looks positively murderous, but the social circle he’s in has caught on to his odd shift in mood, all of them turning to look in the direction of his intense gaze. The woman beside him places a hand on his shoulder with a confused expression on her face before she also looks over.
Dietrich meets their interested looks with a wide grin, speaking through his teeth to Kara, “Smile, chickadee.”
Like moving a mask, Kara forces a polite, empty smile on her lips in greeting before Dietrich pulls her away to mingle more. They pass by Gale and a few other women. Though Gale smiles at them sweetly with her perfectly painted lips, there’s hidden concern in her gaze. “Aren’t you two just the cutest thing to walk in here?” The women beside Gale fall over themselves in agreement.
“It’s all him, I assure you,” Kara replies with as much cheerfulness as she can muster, even though her face feels ready to peel right off.
Her mind is spinning, the edges of her vision blurring slightly as they pass the group by. It seems Dietrich knows that if they stop and start chatting, Kara might start to crumble, so they glide past endless groups. He utters greetings, his soft, smooth tone like silk on her eardrums even as the sound of everything else disappears in the droning hurricane of her mind.
Nick has belonged to someone else this whole time. Needles of mental agony poke and prod at Kara, her fingers tightening on Dietrich’s elbow. To his credit, he only grits his teeth against the slight pain, saying nothing.
He smells like sunlight peeking through the rain , Kara thinks as a whiff of him reaches her nose, how does he do that ?
An older man nods sharply to Dietrich and Kara feels him go still beside her. Without further ado, he lifts her arm from his person, giving her the barest of glances. “You can disappear for a while. I have some business to attend to.”
The bland dismissal is a godsend to Kara at this point. She wants a moment to herself, not attached to his side. Knowing that he can practically feel her agony leaking though her skin, through his suit, is humiliating. They aren’t friends, but he’s spent half this night next to her while her heart breaks.
Kara glances at the stern looking man in the sharp suit, salt and pepper hair slicked back. He looks like he wants to talk about something that Kara wants no part of. It’s easy to separate herself from Dietrich. “Behave,” she mutters to him as she walks away. He brushes the back of his hand against hers in an oddly fond gesture, sending a shiver down her spine.
For a few moments, Kara has a momentary panic of having to be alone in this party of people she doesn’t know. It was nice, oddly enough, having Dieter be in control of everything. Without him, she feels lost. She gravitates to Gale’s circle of women and talks with them briefly, her nerves still frazzled. She’s ever aware that Nick is around and that she’s likely going to run into him.
She doesn’t want to. It’s going to hurt and it already hurts, just seeing him here with someone else. Was everything just a lie? She’s never felt more like a whore.
Excusing herself to go get a mug of tea from the enclosed kitchen, Kara sees Nick leave his group, subtly following after her.
Fuck.
The door opens and closes behind her. Nick follows her into the small kitchen area, no shame to be found. She turns to look at him, outraged, unable to contain herself any longer. She can either cry or be mad; she chooses to be mad. “You utter slime.” Her voice is a low, hushed growl, fueled by humiliation and hurt. “You have a fiancée? A fiancée ?! Were you ever going to tell me about that little detail?”
Nick’s face is eerily unreadable. “It’s a family arrangement. Don’t make a big deal over it.”
Silence. Silence as rage and horror continues to build in Kara’s chest as she stares up at him. It hurts, like a knife in the chest. It isn’t like…it isn’t like they are…it isn’t like she actually thought she meant anything to him. Regardless, this stings, making it utterly blatant that what they have is just a convenience for him; she’s just another girl to throw away.
Kara doesn’t want to feel this way. She doesn’t want this pain. Why does it hurt? It isn’t supposed to hurt this way. I’m not supposed to have feelings. I don’t have feelings. My father always said feelings don’t matter.
“Don’t make a big deal out of it?” Kara laughs bitterly, blinking her eyes, fighting tears. She turns away from him. She makes to go out the second door in the kitchen, to get away from him. There’s no fixing this.
“Don’t walk away from me. We’re not finished.” He snarls. “What are you doing here? How did you even find out about this party?”
“I was invited , you blithering fucker !” Kara wants to dig her nails in and peel his flesh away, bit by bit.
His shoulders hunch aggressively, nose flaring. “By who?”
Is he playing a game? He wants her to say it? “You’re not blind; you know exactly who. I came here with him; I’m going to leave with him.” Now, she laughs a very ugly laugh. Kara gestures to her clothes. “Hell, he even dressed me .”
Those words land darkly, sitting between them like a murder scene. Nick’s face goes red, a snarl touching his upper lip in slow motion. Jealousy glitters in his pale gaze. If looks could kill. “Are you-”
Before his can finish his sentence, because she’s sure he’s about to accuse her of fucking Dietrich, Kara interrupts him. “What does it matter? You and I are nothing anyway, apparently.”
“Is that why you’re walking around with him? To try and hurt me?” His eyes widen, realization blazing into life. “He’s the one who told you. That’s what your text was about…”
Smiling bitterly, Kara says, “Congrats, you win! Yes. He told me. It was humiliating. On top of every other problem we have with each other, you thought I could be some sort of sick mistress. You utter bastard.”
Nick rolls his eyes, pacing. “It’s not a big deal, even my father had a mistress-”
“ Oh, swell . That makes all of this okay. Pull the other, Nick. Jesus!” Kara stares at him incredulously. “If you think I’m going to stick around and play that type of game, you are out of your Trust Fund Baby mind.”
Lips flattening, eyes going narrow and deadly, Nick hisses, “If you think I’m just going to sit quietly while Dieter flaunts what’s mine like a trophy, you’re sadly mistaken, sweetpea.”
Oh, she can’t listen to this! She’s never even been his. “Don’t call me that! You can’t call me that anymore!”
The door leading to the party area opens, causing them both to jump out of their skin guiltily.
Nick’s fiancée joins them, looking flawless and collected. She takes in the tension between her husband-to-be and Kara in a single glance. Then, she smiles politely, holding her hand out to Kara.
There’s a gigantic ring on it and Kara nearly dies right then and there.
“I’m Claire,” the lovely woman says. “You are…?”
“Kara,” she croaks back in response, clasping her hand delicately, mentally wanting to crush it.
She really hopes that she doesn’t have a crazy look in her eye.
Claire is gazing between the two of them like she’s trying to solve a puzzle. “So, how do you two know each other? Do you work here as well? I had thought I’d met most of Nicky’s co-workers.”
Nicky. Ugh.
Kara’s mouth slowly opens as she considers what to say, but Nick cuts her off quickly. “We’re friends. Acquaintances, really.”
Oh, that hurts even worse. Kara wants to claw his eyes out and stomp on them. Kara needs to get away from him and fast before she blurts something regrettable out loud.
“Look…Claire? It’s lovely to meet you. Nick has told me all about you .” Kara says, barely noting the way Nick tenses up at her hidden accusation. “I need to join my date before he sends a search team after me. He’s extremely needy.” Ha, oh Dieter would love that.
Nick’s face hardens, anger flashing in his pale blue gaze, like lightening striking.
Claire seems to take interest Kara’s words, not seeing Nick’s expression. “That’s right! I thought I saw you walk in with Dieter Bittinger.” She frowns, looking Kara up and down. “Don’t take this too harshly, but you aren’t the usual type he brings on his arm.”
“Oh, I can guess,” Kara says drily, gesturing with her hand and looking upward. “Tall. Really tall women. Gorgeous, but no brains to speak of.”
The other woman gives her a small smile, like she’s afraid she’ll get wrinkles if she smiles too nicely. “That certainly rings a bell. Well. Nice to meet you; I’m sure we’ll see each other again.”
Kara feels like melting into the ground, the air becoming so thin. “Yeah,” she exhales tightly. “I’m sure we will.” She gives Nick one last glance, hoping her can read the vast disappointment in her eyes.
Nick looks like he wants to stop her from walking out the door and drag her back in by her hair, but Kara darts out before another word can be said.
She finds herself looking around for Dietrich, wondering when he’s going to appear from wherever he is. How long can it possibly take to get his business done? As she’s slipping around to where she last left him, Gale catches her, pulling Kara to the side. “Hey. We didn’t get a chance to really talk. You’re not looking too well.”
“I don’t feel well,” Kara replies morosely. It’s a small thing to say instead of saying she feels like she’s a dead shell that just keeps walking, too stupid to know she’s already dead.
Gale touches Kara’s forehead, as if its sickness of the body and not the mind. “I wanted you to know…I’m leaving town for a while. Dieter will be in your care, as a result. You’ll likely need to adjust your schedule for that.”
It’s like a bomb has dropped in Kara’s head, staring at her. Is Gale insane? Kara has no time to become Dietrich’s handler!
This is just not flying. Not tonight.
“You’ve got to be fu…Gale! You can’t just drop him on me and go on vacation.” Kara feels like pulling her own hair and throwing herself out a window. Like going splat on the cement outside. Like looking at her guts on the sidewalk. “This- this isn’t a good time.”
Gale’s eyes are soft, almost pitying as she quirks her lips at Kara. “He’s sending me for you, Kara.”
This gives her pause, chilling her. “Who is? And why for me?”
“Dieter. He’s sending me down to Arizona to meet with your father and represent him during the initial investigation of embezzlement. Dieter’s paying for it.”
Shock is a dull sensation, like a smooth rock rubbing against her skin. Kara knows she should feel special; Dietrich sending Gale, his prize representative, means something. At the same time, it also means he’s closing the net around Kara, removing the only barrier between them.
Gale.