Chapter 20
Sloane
Things have been tense between the guys since Boone found out that Rook and Cruz had been lying to him.
I can tell they’re trying for my sake, but Rook is too stubborn, Cruz too volatile, and Boone too wounded for it to fix quickly.
As much as they are trying to mend what’s been broken for me, Jessy is the glue that will bind the shattered pieces back together.
She doesn’t seem to notice or care about the tension between the men, and she has demanded that they all play with her this morning.
They sit spread out on the clubhouse floor, dinosaurs in front of them, wearing identical expressions of concentration and seriousness as Jessy explains the game.
The few club members enjoying their breakfast don’t seem to mind, or perhaps they know Rook has been grouchier than usual lately and will tear them a new one if they complain.
I smile as I watch them. It’s one of the things I love most about my men, how good they are with Jessy.
Perhaps my baby is more astute than I gave her credit for, since the game sounds an awful lot like our current situation.
“So, the dinosaurs are at war with the monsters,” she says solemnly.
“The T. rex is in charge, he’s the president.
” She hands the plastic T. rex to Rook. “The Triceratops is his main general; he’s good at fighting.
” She hands the Triceratops toy to Cruz, who grins at the comparison.
“Then there is the Stegosaurus. He is big and strong. But he only fights to protect his herd.” This one, she hands to Boone, who reverently takes it as if she’s handed him an award.
“In real life, these dinosaurs weren’t friends,” she makes sure to point out, ever the teacher.
It makes me smile, and I wonder if that might be a career path she chooses one day.
“But in our game, the dinosaurs have joined together to fight the evil monsters. The dinosaurs rescued the baby Velociraptor, but now they are fighting.”
The guys share a guilty glance. “Why are they fighting?” Boone asks softly, looking up at me.
Jessy ponders this for a moment. I’m relieved to know that, while she’s picked up that something is wrong, she doesn’t know why. “I don’t know. Maybe they’re just not used to working together, but they need to, or else the bad guys will win.”
Rook nods. “That’s a good idea.”
“Miss Stephanie says that our differences are what make us special and that we should always get along and accept each other even if we’re different.
” Jessy looks at the guys pointedly, and I can’t help but grin at her using her therapist’s words to make three grown men work through their differences.
Cruz catches my eye and smiles wryly at me.
I shrug and shake my head. If Jessy can make them finally work out their differences, I’m all for it.
“Miss Stephanie is right,” Boone agrees.
Satisfied, Jessy continues to not-so-subtly lecture the guys about friendship and about not staying mad when your friend has upset you.
I sometimes wonder how I managed to raise such a smart, confident little girl.
It’s clear that she adores the guys and wants everyone to be happy.
I didn’t realize just how much she was missing a father figure in her life until coming here.
A fresh wave of anger against my ex-husband, long since buried, breaks to the surface.
Connor wasn’t a bad man, just an ordinary one, a typical cliché of a man who turned tail and ran when things got tough.
Sex became non-existent in our relationship following Jessy’s birth.
I became swamped with work on the Escar case, a case Connor always said I should never have taken.
He was very vocal about how it was too dangerous—I guess he was right after all about that.
He was busy with work too. We were like ships passing in the night, barely seeing each other.
When he got offered a new, better job in a different state, I wasn’t surprised that he wanted to take it.
But I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to give up my career to further his. He made his choice, and I made mine.
He chose to leave me, to leave Jessy. Apart from sending Jessy cards on her birthday and at Christmas, he hasn’t been in contact.
Jessy can hardly remember him; she was only three when he walked out on us.
That’s the hardest part, not that he left me, our marriage was over long before he left, but that he didn’t even try to be a father to Jessy.
You can imagine my shock and confusion when, at the very moment I’m thinking about my ex-husband for the first time in almost two years, he walks through the door. I blink, my brain stuttering and trying to process if this is just some figment of my imagination.
He looks the same as I remember, at least at first, but then I notice the fresh lines around his eyes, the flecks of gray in his hair. He looks well. A little older, but more relaxed. I guess that’s easy when you abandon all your responsibilities.
His eyes scan the room, lip curling a little with distaste.
Connor was always the kind of man who cared about outward appearances, liking things that were popular rather than because he actually enjoyed them.
I remember for his birthday one year, I brought him an expensive bottle of scotch, only to discover that he didn’t actually like the taste; he just drank it because it was a status symbol, something wealthy men drank.
His gaze lands on me, and I see him do a double take. I suppose my transformation is greater than his. I’m wearing a summer dress that skims my curves, instead of the tailored pantsuits he preferred me in, and my hair soft and loose instead of scraped back in a businesslike bun.
“Sloane?” he asks, stepping closer.
The guys are tense, on high alert. Rook springs to his feet. Though Connor doesn’t notice, he was never very observant.
“Sloane, thank god I found you. I came as soon as I heard.” He rushes closer, only now noticing Rook as he steps next to me. His eyes dart nervously to him before returning to me.
Boone hangs back with Jessy, Cruz circles, ready to jump in if needed.
“Connor, what are you doing here? Heard what?” I ask, rising from my seat.
“About Jessy’s school, of course, about that monster Escar trying to kidnap her. Why didn’t you call me? I could have protected you.” He reaches out to take my hand, and I pull away as if scalded.
Cruz snorts. “Cos you did such a good job before,” he mutters.
Connor hears him and whirls around. “I’m sorry, who are you?”
I know Cruz will have some less-than-savory response, one that no doubt will escalate the situation, so I quickly answer for him.
“This is Cruz.” I quickly draw his attention away, pointing at Rook.
“This here is Rook, the president of Iron Vale MC,” I add.
I don’t mention Boone, I don’t want to draw attention to Jessy.
I don’t mention my relationship with the guys either.
It’s none of Connor’s business. “Jessy and I have been living here under Iron Vale’s protection,” I add.
“As for why I didn’t call you, that’s because you made it abundantly clear you didn’t want to be a part of our lives a long time ago. ”
Connor slumps a little. “I know. I should never have left, but I’m here to make things right.” His eyes dart nervously at the guys as he soldiers on, looking me in the eye. “I heard you quit your job, so there’s no need for you to stay here. You can come live with me. We can start again.”
He steps closer, and I automatically move back. I laugh, a bitter, incredulous sound. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Jessy giggles, her surprise breaking through her anxiety over the moment. “Mommy said a bad word.”
For the first time, Connor finally seems to notice his daughter. He turns to her, his face softening with wonder. “Jessy, baby, is that you? Look at you! You’ve grown!” he steps toward her, and she shrinks back, hiding behind Boone.
She peers out at him from behind Boone’s legs, clutching his jeans, confused and curious.
She was four when her dad left and I’m not sure what memories she has of him.
Boone meets my eye and knows without me saying a word what I need.
“Come on, kiddo, let’s go see how I’m getting on with making that new T.
Rex for you.” He picks her up with practiced ease and starts to walk away.
Jessy doesn’t look at Connor, too excited by the prospect of seeing what Boone’s been making.
Connor steps as if to stop him, but Cruz blocks his path. “Hey! You can’t—”
Cruz’s eyebrow quirks in challenge as he steps in Connor’s path. Connor looks at me pleadingly, “Please, please, just let me see her for a second.” He turns back to Jessy. “Jessy, it’s me, daddy, don’t you recognize me?”
Jessy shakes her head, burying it in Boone’s shoulder.
“You’re not my daddy. Boone, Rook, and Cruz are my daddies,” she insists.
It stirs deep within me, the verbal acknowledgment of what I suspected my little girl felt.
It breaks my heart a little. She breaks Connor’s a little too.
“I don’t know you. You’re a strange man.
I don’t talk to strangers,” she mumbles, not looking at Connor.
With that, she dismisses him, looking up at Boone.
“Daddy Boone, can we go now?” she asks, her voice sweet and earnest.
Boone’s voice is thick with emotion. “Of course, we can, sweetie.”
I feel angry at Connor for spoiling what should have been a big moment for the guys. Jessy calling them her dads is huge, for her and them, and they should have been able to enjoy it and express their love for her properly.
“Why are you here, Connor?” I ask icily.
“I told you,” he offers weakly.
“You thought you could waltz back into our lives after abandoning us, after no word from you for years, and that we would welcome you back with open arms? That we would just pack up our lives and go?”