Chapter 19 Zofia #2
I shook my head. “Now we just have to hope your office was soundproof enough that no one heard us.”
Nicolas shrugged, zipping his pants and redoing his belt. “Maybe I wanted them all to hear. That way, they know you’re mine.” His gaze was heated as he stared at me. “Don’t want anyone getting any ideas about my wife.”
“Fake wife,” I reminded him, thinking about the contract sitting in his office.
He looked away, face stern. “Right. Of course. It’s all about keeping up appearances, right?”
“Nicolas…” My voice was soft.
He shook his head. “For better or for worse, right, Zofia?”
Right.
It was the reminder that I needed—remembering just what we were to each other.
Or… what we’d never be.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked, standing in front of the door to my parents’ house the next day. It had been two weeks since I’d come over for dinner with everything we’d had going on, and I felt terrible about that.
Especially considering we’d gotten married.
“Breathe, baby. They love you,” Nic said. I looked up at my husband as he rubbed his thumb between my eyebrows, like he was smoothing away the worry.
My heart was fluttering in my chest, and I sucked in a breath, letting my eyes dip down to his perfectly kissable pink lips. Lips that I’d memorized over the last week. Lips that had been all over my body. A rush of heat flooded my system, and I tried to tamper it down.
“Zofia…”
“Nicolas,” I murmured, hyperaware of where we were. Married or not, we were on my parent’s doorstep. “We shouldn’t—” I closed my eyes. After yesterday, I wasn’t sure I could keep pretending. Not when everything felt too real, and I didn’t know how to handle it anymore.
I was trying to remind myself that we had an end date. I couldn’t get attached to him.
He shook his head, like he was remembering where we were. “Right. Sorry.”
Which was good—because I needed a moment to steel myself before having to put on a cheerful front for my parents.
The door opened, and there was my mom. “Chellam,” my mom said, arms open wide as she engulfed me in a hug. She smelled like home, like incense and jasmine and the laundry detergent she’d used my entire life. I pressed my nose against her shoulder, inhaling her scent.
“Hey, Amma.” I tightened my grip around her, grateful for my mother’s support. “I missed you.”
She pulled apart, smiling at me before brushing her thumbs across my cheeks. “And my new son-in-law.”
“Hi… Athai,” he said, addressing her as the Tamil name for mother-in-law. I was touched. He hadn’t asked me, which meant even more to me. My mom wrapped him up in a hug as well.
“Oh, I like him a lot,” she said to me. She patted his back, opening the door for both of us. “Come on in.”
Nic took a deep inhale. “That smells amazing.”
She smiled at him. “I made Zofia’s favorite.”
“Amma.” My cheeks were warm. “You didn’t have to.”
“Nonsense. It’s not every day your daughter gets married without telling you.”
“It’s my fault,” Nic said, wrapping an arm around my waist. “I didn’t want to wait any longer to call her my wife.”
She chuckled. “I remember when my husband was like that, too.”
“He was?” I asked, surprised. My father was fairly subdued. He fit the engineer stereotype to a T, though he’d always been loving towards his children, I still couldn’t imagine him that passionate.
My mother gave me a secretive smile. “Oh, yes.”
We followed her through the house, and I rubbed at my back, letting out a small wince. It had been hurting all day, and as much as I was happy to spend time with my parents, I was looking forward to getting home and taking a hot bath.
It was strange how quickly I already thought of Nic’s house as my home.
He frowned, watching me. “You feeling okay?”
I rubbed at it, letting out a small wince. “Yeah, just a backache.” I waved him off. “It’ll go away after I take something, I’m sure.” My back normally started hurting before I got my period, which was due any day now, so I was used to it.
“If you’re sure…”
I nodded, standing on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll take a warm soak when we get back. I’ll be fine, I promise.”
“Okay.” His hand rubbed over the spot on my lower back, and I almost moaned in enjoyment.
Unluckily for me, because my husband’s hands could have performed miracles, my mom interrupted us, talking about some of our family traditions.
Many of our extended family were Hindu, and Diwali was only a few weeks away.
Even though my family wasn’t super religious, I still had a lot of friends who were practicing, and it was a common topic in our household.
The holidays were just around the corner, and I wondered what Christmas would look like with Nic. I didn’t even know how he celebrated, which felt like something I needed to remedy.
“You know,” Nic said at one point while my mom got up to check on the food. “Halloween is almost here.”
I nodded. “Yeah. The girls mentioned something about a party? They also told me that costumes were mandatory.”
He laughed. “Oh, they definitely are. They always go all out. It’s fun.”
I bit my lip. “So, should we…”
Nicolas’s face broke out into a grin. “My gorgeous wife, are you asking me if I want to do a matching couples costume with you?”
Trying to look nonchalant, I shrugged. “Maybe. You know, if you want.”
His lips brushed under my ear, his breath hot on my neck as he murmured, “Yes.” His smile was so warm it made me feel gooey inside.
What I wouldn’t give for this to be real. I felt empty inside, knowing our marriage was in name only, because lately it felt like everything did only made these feelings grow?
Feelings I wasn’t supposed to have.
And I realized I wanted this—for real. I wanted to know that I’d walked down the aisle to the man of my dreams.
A man I was in love with, who looked at me as if I was the reason the sun rose in the sky every morning. A man who thought I was as integral to his life as breathing. A man who loved me.
Which was why I needed to protect my heart.
Because, Nicolas Larsen might not break my heart…
Unless I fell in love with him and he didn’t feel the same way.
The way my heart was fluttering, I knew it was in danger.