Chapter 21 Zofia
zofia
There was something comforting about being piled around the table in Angelina’s house, surrounded by all our friends. After how busy the last few months had been, it felt like everything was finally getting back to normal, and I was grateful for that.
All ten of us were here—the usual suspects. Us girls, and our guys.
The only difference between now and the last time we all hung out is that I was now married.
Matthew and Noelle had also just gotten engaged, plus Hunter and Gabbi were moving in with each other.
She and Hunter had been sharing looks with each other all night, him stopping to whisper in her ear and her blushing.
It was cute, and I was deeply envious of how comfortable they were with each other.
It felt like life was moving so fast, and I was just trying to be along for the ride.
I was happy to be with them—even if I had a stomach bug that I couldn’t quite seem to kick.
I’d been feeling awful all week. Between the exhaustion and then the nausea that had started, all I wanted to do was stay in bed.
Which was probably why, while everyone else had an adorable cocktail in hand, I was sipping on a glass of ginger ale and popping Tums like candy.
“So, I think it’s time for a new buddy read,” Angelina said, eyes twinkling with delight as she looked at me.
“Oh, no,” I said, figuring I knew where she was going with this.
She pulled out her phone, pulling up a book on her e-reader app. “I found the perfect billionaire romance. We have to read this one.”
“You’re determined to torture me, aren’t you?” The guy on the cover even reminded me of Nicolas.
Noelle gave me a look of sympathy. “We could also do something Halloween themed, since that’s next week.”
“I’m always down for a fated mates book,” Gabbi agreed.
Charlotte looked at Angelina’s screen. “I think we should hear Ang out. It’s her turn to pick, after all.”
They rotated who picked their book to read that month. I’d determined that it was partially so they could force each other to read their favorite books as much as it was to keep things interesting.
Hearing Charlotte talk about the blue alien series she’d recommended had been enough for my eyes to open. Eight books later, I’d fallen down a rabbit hole.
“Now that I’ve finished the fae series, I think something set in the real world might be good,” I admitted.
“I just don’t know if a billionaire romance would hit too close to home.
” I felt flushed, my cheeks warmer than normal, as I looked at my husband, surrounded by the other guys on the patio.
There was no way I could tell them it was too similar because I was crushing on the man who I’d signed a contract marriage agreement with, and my emotions were all over the place.
Angelina frowned. “Everything’s good, though, right?”
“Of course.” Did my voice sound too high? “Everything’s great.”
Except for my marriage being fake.
And I’m pretty sure I’m falling for my husband.
After dinner, everyone was curled up on the couch, and I slipped outside, standing on the back patio, staring out at the stars.
Inside, everyone was smiling and laughing, while I felt like I was fighting an internal war.
I so badly wanted to confess everything to them. They were my friends, and I felt closer to them than I did to anyone—except for Nicolas, maybe. Though that was different.
But how could I?
How could I betray Nic’s trust like that?
I couldn’t.
Two years. That was how long we’d agreed to. I’d make it through, keep my head held high, and after it was over I’d figure out a way to move on. I tightened my sweater around myself, wondering if I even believed that to be true.
Would I be able to move on?
Would I be able to get over this feeling that I couldn’t even name?
“Zofia.” My name murmured against my ear in that deep voice made goosebumps break out across my arms.
I turned, looking up at him, into those gorgeous turquoise eyes that I knew so well, and my heart fluttered. Actually fluttered.
Damn him. He wasn’t supposed to be this perfect.
“Nicolas.” Was my voice more breathy than normal?
“Hey.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I just wanted to check on you.”
“Oh.” I let my hand rest over my heart, glad no one else could hear the way it beat in my chest. “I’m okay.”
Nic tucked a finger under my chin. “You keep saying that, but I’m not sure that’s actually true.” My eyes met his, and I melted. He looked down at my lips, and I ran my tongue over them, dampening them.
“You’re confusing me,” I admitted, letting the truth slip out. “I feel like I don’t know what’s up from down anymore, and I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake.”
“You and me, Zo,” he promised, his thumb stroking over my cheek. “Just Zofia. Just Nicolas. None of the other bullshit matters.”
I shook my head. “That’s easy to say, but it does matter, Nic. No matter what our contract says—you’re still my boss. And I’m still just your assistant.”
His eyes darkened, interrupting me. “You’ve never been just anything, Zo. When will you get that through this beautiful head of yours?” He cupped both of my cheeks, holding me in place.
“This is what I mean,” I mumbled around his hands. “Again, with the confusing me.”
“Look, I know this is still new for both of us. But it’s going to be okay.”
“Even though we’re lying to everyone and you’re charming me by being the best fake husband ever?”
Nicolas laughed. “Yeah, baby. I’ve got you, I promise.”
I looked up into his eyes, seeing the sincerity in them. That was my sign, wasn’t it? Somehow, even without knowing exactly what I was freaking out over, Nic was here. Just as he’d always been here.
It came with the startling realization that I wanted him.
Not just as my fake husband.
But for real.
When had these feelings grown? When had we gone from friends to this?
Because dammit, I wanted everything. Not just casual sex and a contract marriage—for good.
I wanted what Angelina and Benjamin had.
Watching them interact, how they bantered back and forth like it was their own personal form of foreplay, and seeing the deep love they had for each other felt like more than I could ever hope for.
If they could go from hating each other to being in love, it felt plausible for Nic and I too, right?
He doesn’t want you like that, I reminded myself.
“Promise me this won’t get complicated,” I whispered. “Promise this won’t ruin us.”
He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I promise, my gorgeous girl.”
Somehow, all I could focus on was the way he’d called me his.
At least for a little while, I could pretend he was really mine.