Chapter 17
Jameson
“Why did I tell her she had to wait a week?”
Camden chuckles. “Because you’re a good man who wants to make sure your Little girl makes risk-aware, consensual choices. How’d it go yesterday with their study date?”
“Are you asking me as a friend of mine because you’re wondering about my relationship with Natasha that you orchestrated? Or are you really asking me what I think about Simone?”
He doesn’t laugh this time. He sighs. “That is not going to happen.”
“What? Simone? They graduate in a few months. If you want her, I’m certain she will be more than willing.”
“I don’t usually go for Littles who are quite that young.”
“Let me remind you that you set me up with one.”
“Yep, but I know you, and you don’t care how old your Littles are. I prefer mine in their thirties with a bit more life experience under their skirts and a solid awareness of themselves.”
It’s my turn to chuckle. “Camden, Simone has more awareness of her Little side than most fifty-year-olds. I bet she’s known she was Little since before she was out of her teens.”
“She doesn’t even know what her age range is. Do you know how often she changes her style? Like every month. She’s experimenting.”
I start laughing hard.
“What’s so funny, asshole?”
I wipe the tears from my eyes. “She’s not experimenting. I’m certain she knows her style. She’s doing everything she can to get your attention.”
“Well, she will not succeed.”
“For now.”
He sighs.
“Since you asked… They were relatively well-behaved all afternoon, studying. Simone is a sassy girl. She likes to be blunt and say things that no one else would say. But it’s entertaining. She made me laugh.”
“So…” Camden changes the subject. “You going to hold out until Sunday or give in early?”
“What kind of Daddy would I be if I didn’t stick to my own rules?”
“It wouldn’t set a very good precedent. She might think she can steamroll you about all kinds of things. Sunday it is, then. Good luck. I better get to class. I wonder whether Simone will still be in her goth phase today or if she’s going with something new?”
He ends the call before I have a chance to respond. I’m amazed by his strength. A lesser man would have given in and entered a clandestine relationship with Simone two years ago.
I’m sitting at my desk at four-thirty in the afternoon, finishing an email, when I hear a door slam. That hasn’t happened in my house since I was the one banging doors as a child.
I jump to my feet just as Albert hurries into my office. He’s winded.
“What happened?” I ask.
“I’m sorry, sir. I dropped Natasha off at the front of the house as usual, but I’m guessing she forgot her bookbag in the SUV, so she went into the garage to get it. I had no idea she’d gone out until she stormed back into the kitchen, slammed the door, and rushed up the stairs.”
“Shit.”
“I’m so sorry, Jameson.” Albert rubs his hands together. The man is shaking.
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine. Don’t worry. I’ll talk to her.” I head for the stairs and take them two at a time. I’ve never seen Natasha angry, and I truly have no idea why she has been so adamant about me not buying her a car. I’m equally certain she saw the car, and now she’s pissed about it. It would have helped if I hadn’t shown her a picture of the car I intended to buy her. But I did. And now I’m going to have to talk my way out of this mess.
When I reach her room, the door is closed. I knock. “Natasha?”
She doesn’t respond, but I can hear her clattering around in there.
“Natasha, open the door, Little one.” I keep my voice calm.
Long seconds go by, and suddenly, she yanks the door open. “I’m not talking to you.” She turns around and storms toward her bathroom, enters, and slams that door, too.
This is not good. I step inside, shut the bedroom door, and head for her desk. I’ll sit and wait her out. She can’t stay in the bathroom forever.
She does stay in there a long time, though, during which I make no sound. Maybe she’ll think I’ve left. When she finally opens the door, she has changed clothes but not into the outfit I left for her.
She glares at me, grabs her phone from the desk, and stomps to her bed, where she climbs up and sits, leaning against the headboard. She opens her phone and pretends to look at something.
I stand, join her, and perch on the edge of her bed. “Talk to me, Little one.”
“I don’t want to.” She pouts.
I decide to ask a few unrelated questions. “Why are you wearing that particular outfit, Natasha?”
“Because I felt like it.”
“You felt like wearing something that made you feel like a Middle? Or did you just feel like grabbing anything to defy me?”
She shrugs. “You’re the one who likes training bras so much. I’m just making use of the clothes you’ve bought me. If you’re going to buy me things, I should use them. After all, you picked out this bra, this tank top, and these shorts. I assume you wanted to see me wearing them.”
She’s right, though the combination is comical. She is wearing a pink training bra with Daddy’s Girl written in red across the front and a white tank top that doesn’t cover the bra and is see-through enough to read the words. Her shorts are cotton, elastic, and yellow. I never would have put that combination together, and she knows it.
“Put your phone down, Natasha,” I request.
She sighs dramatically as she drops it onto the bed next to her before picking up a teddy bear and hugging it to her chest. She pulls her knees up and makes herself a ball against the headboard.
“Thank you. Tell me why you’re so upset, Little one.”
She growls. “I told you not to buy me a car, but you did it anyway,” she shouts.
“Tone, Natasha,” I warn. “No need to yell.” She can be mad, and she can voice her opinions, but she needs to know that I won’t let her shout at me. She can add that to her list of Daddy qualities I possess when making a decision about submitting to me.
She groans. “You’re so frustrating.”
“I can see that you’re frustrated. I want to know why.”
“When did you buy that car?”
“A few days after you moved in.”
“Why? I told you not to.”
“Because I thought you would change your mind. I wanted you to have something reliable. The car you were driving when you moved in was unsafe and not running well, Natasha.”
“You can’t just buy people cars, Mr. Hoffman.”
I wince when she calls me that. “Why not? I have plenty of money. You needed a car. I bought you one.”
“It was supposed to be room and board. Not room, board, clothes, computers, phones, cars, books, bedroom sets, toiletries, stuffed animals…” She hugs the bear and buries her face in its fur.
I keep my voice calm. “You needed all those things, Little one.”
She shakes her head. “I had clothes. I could have gotten a job to pay for any other extras and get my car fixed. I didn’t want to owe you anything.”
I want to pull her into my arms, but that’s not appropriate, and I need to get to the bottom of this. It’s not making sense to me. “You can’t focus well on your classes if you’re also working and not eating well, Little one. You weren’t getting any sleep.”
She drops the bear, fists her hands, and punches the mattress on either side of her. “That’s what students do, Mr. Hoffman. They work, they study, they never get enough sleep, and they eat boxed mac and cheese.”
“I provided you with an opportunity to finish your last semester without worrying about any of that.”
She glares at me. “You can’t buy me, Mr. Hoffman.”
I flinch. Buy her? “Natasha…” Does she feel like I’m buying her love?
She scrambles off the other side of the bed, looking all cute and ridiculous in her outfit. She’s also flaming mad, which is unnerving, but I’m glad she feels like she can yell at me. Even though I might spank her little ass for doing so.
I wonder if all of this has something to do with her visit with Quinten. If so, I’m glad. Her chest is heaving. Her cheeks are pink. I suddenly realize her hair is in two pigtails, but they are right behind her ears. She put on this Middle outfit and fixed her hair to go with it, even though she wanted to stab me for buying her a car at the same time.
I draw in a slow breath. I need to choose my next words wisely. “I never meant for you to feel like I was buying you, Natasha. It wasn’t my intention. You walked into my life, and I fell for you. I wanted to make your life easier.”
She sniffles and swipes at her eyes. Maybe tears are an improvement over shouting? I’m not sure.
I stand but stay on the other side of her bed. She needs the barrier. “You bring me to my knees, Natasha. I want you so badly I can’t concentrate on anything except what I can do to make you happy. I want you to have the best of everything. I want you to submit to me and obey me because that’s how I’m wired, and I think you were made for me. I think you’re the Little girl I’ve denied myself for a decade.”
She doesn’t move, but she doesn’t back away either.
I need to tell her about my past. It’s long overdue. “I spent ten years denying myself. Ten years alone and lonely because I swore I would never let myself love another person.”
Her breath hitches. “You loved someone ten years ago?” she asks softly.
“Yes. Her name was Julia, and we were so good together. I thought we were perfect for each other. She was submissive. I was Dominant. We fit together.”
“What happened to her?” Natasha asks softly.
“She went hiking with her friends one day, and she tripped and fell. It was a freak accident. She hit her head hard on a rock. She had a brain bleed and never woke up. Two days later, she was gone.”
“I’m so sorry.”
I swallow, trying to control my emotions. I don’t mind Natasha seeing me vulnerable, but not over this. Not over Julia. Because Natasha needs to understand some things I’ve been unwilling to admit, even to myself.
“I asked myself a million times what I could have done differently to protect her. Maybe I shouldn’t have let her go hiking that day. Maybe I should have gone with her. But you know what? Even if I’d been standing two feet away, she still might have fallen and hit her head.”
Natasha bites her bottom lip.
“Loving someone else is hard. It’s risky. They might not return the feeling, or they might change their mind one day and leave, or they might die. So, I shut myself off from dating. And then Camden has to go and ruin everything by sending me a girl who needs a place to live. She walks into my library one afternoon, and she takes my breath away. My world starts spinning out of control.”
Natasha gasps.
I keep talking. “She’s so fucking pretty with big brown eyes and gorgeous hair. In an instant, I know she’s Little and I want her. But she’s so young, and she doesn’t know a thing about age play. I can’t rush her. She needs to figure it out for herself. All I can do is try to make her life easier by making sure she has food, a roof, a bed, clothes, shoes, a phone, a computer, and a fucking reliable car.
“I just want her to be safe . I keep falling harder for her every day, and she’s so damn submissive. She’s so perfect for me. She sucks all the oxygen out of a room. All I want is to protect her from everything in the world that might harm her. I have to force myself to slow down and not overwhelm her. I give her boundaries, one at a time, and she accepts them every time. She craves more. I give her a curfew. I ask her to check in with me so I’ll know where she is. I have Albert drive her everywhere, so she’s safer than being alone. And every time I add new rules, she accepts them.”
I drop my hands to her bed and lean forward. “She doesn’t just accept my rules. She relishes them. She squirms when I tell her to do something. She’s so fucking perfectly submissive. I can’t stand it. I’m drowning every day waiting for her to be mine. I won’t rush her, though. I need her to be sure because my heart can’t take it if she leaves me.”
Natasha takes a step toward the bed. “I was always yours, Daddy.”
Her words break me. I drop my elbows onto the bed and let my head hang between my arms.
She climbs onto the bed and crawls to me.
I lift my face and say, “You want to know the craziest part? I might as well sell that car. It seemed like a great idea at the time. I wanted you to be safe, and I knew you’d be safer in a new car. I thought it would be easier to convince you to let me buy you a reliable car than to insist on you letting Albert drive you to and from school. But now? Now, I can’t picture ever permitting you to drive somewhere. Certainly not alone. It’s not safe. There are crazy people out in the world. What if you got in an accident or someone carjacked you? I’m selling the car.”
She giggles and shakes her head as she sits cross-legged a foot from me. “I’ve changed my mind. I’ll use it for class tomorrow.”
I groan. “Not a chance.”
“Why?” She’s grinning.
“You’re grounded indefinitely from the car.”
“Why?”
“Because I say so.”
She sobers. “You want to know my greatest fear?”
“Yes.”
“That you might not feel the same way about me as I do about you. That you only see me as a Little girl, someone you can dominate. Someone who needs a caregiver and fulfills your need to be a Daddy. I’m scared I’m just some silly girl who’s developed a crush on her benefactor. Why would you take me seriously? Why would you want me to stay? What if you grow tired of me, or I break all the rules? And I know you say you want me physically, too, but that scares me just as much. I’m ignorant about sex. I’m not going to know what I’m doing. I’m not going to be any good at it. What if you have sex with me and realize I’m boring and too na?ve? What if you change your mind and everything is ruined? Where would I go? How would I ever pay you back for all the things you’ve bought me?”
She’s firing questions so fast that I can’t keep up. She has a lot of fears, and I should have realized that. She’s so young. Of course she would have concerns about my intentions.
I reach out, pin her ankles, and drag her closer until I’m hovering over her with her legs dangling off the sides of the bed at my hips.
She gasps, eyes wide.
I grab her wrists, haul them over her head, and hold her down. I want her full attention, and I want her breathing heavily while I lecture her.
Her chest rises and falls. Her breaths are shallow. Her eyes are wider, lips parted, cheeks pink.
“Listen to me, Little one. You’re mine. I told you last night, and I’ll tell you every day for the rest of our lives. You’re mine . You’re not just fulfilling a need to Daddy someone. You’ve sucked my soul out, and now you hold the power to trample on it.”
Her breath hitches.
“You may be Little, but you’re more mature than most women twice your age. You were forced to grow up at a very young age. The fact that you’re Little does not diminish the fact that you’re also an intelligent, educated, bright woman with a solid head on her shoulders. It takes courage to let yourself be vulnerable and submit to someone. I will never change my mind and let you go. Not without a fight. The fact that you’re willing to give my boring, hermit self a chance brings me to my knees.
“If, for some reason, you decided you couldn’t live this life with me, I would never ask you to repay me for a thing. If you ever suggest owing me money again, I will spank your ass until you can’t sit for a week. Let me spoil you. Let me buy you things. They’re as much for my benefit as yours. I like looking at you in what I buy. Maybe not in this particular combination, but…” I smile, hoping to lighten the air between us.
She glances down at herself. “What’s wrong with my outfit? I think it’s called rebellious teenager.”
“It’s called defiant Little girl.” I lift a brow and then change the subject to the final, most important one. “As for sex, I’m so fucking glad you will be mine and only mine. I will be the one to teach you everything you’ll ever know about pleasure. Every inch of your body will learn to respond to me. There is no way you could disappoint me, Natasha. It’s not possible. It doesn’t work that way. It is going to be amazing. Fireworks will explode because that’s how sex is between two people who love each other so much it hurts. Just looking at you makes my cock harder than a rock. It’s been permanently erect since we met. Do you have any idea how fucking horny I was after watching you touch yourself?”
Her cheeks are bright pink. She’s so adorable.
“When we have sex, I’m going to lick every inch of you so I can get a better taste than the one I got from your fingers last night. I’m going to worship your body until you don’t know up from down. You’re going to scream over and over while I make you come again and again. And when your body is supple, sated, and relaxed, then I will make you fully mine. You can’t do it wrong, Natasha. There is no doing it wrong.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
I lower my face and run my nose along the edge of her training bra, teasing the upper swell of her small breasts.
She whimpers. “Daddy…”
“I love the sound of you calling me Daddy.”
She squirms. “I’m sorry I was naughty.”
I smile. “You can be naughty, Natasha. It keeps things fresh. You’re entitled to your feelings. I want you to be able to come to me and challenge me. Don’t let things bottle up. There is nothing you can say or do that will drive me away.”
“So, I can take the car tomorrow?”
I growl. “Not a chance.”