Chapter Fifteen
Sophaya
The moon hangs full and heavy in the sky.
The waves of the Atlantic rise and fall in gentle motion, crests dusted with silver.
I slowly walk out onto my balcony as strains of soft, mellow jazz drift behind in my wake.
I wrap my arms around my waist. I’m almost three months pregnant now, but there’s not even a hint of swelling.
A good thing, I remind myself, given that we’re hoping to conceal the pregnancy as long as possible and establish Dominic’s role in the palace before word leaks out.
But I want to feel it, want the evidence of the tiny life that’s growing inside me. Need something peaceful to latch onto.
Of all the things I had anticipated for tonight, Dominic’s possessiveness had not been one of them.
I’d been irritated by Louis’s presence, and even more so when he intimated that he’d made a mistake in ending our relationship.
I’m tired of being other people’s plaything, the convenience that’s always available at their whim, with no regard for what I want.
I knew people had been watching, waiting to see what drama would ensue.
It’s the only reason I didn’t pull away when he laid his hand on my back.
The flurry of whispers around me had been my first clue that something wasn’t right before I turned my head and saw Dominic walking toward us with murder in his eyes.
No, he hadn’t said anything overtly aggressive to Louis, but he certainly hadn’t been kind.
What did you expect? an internal voice whispers. Of course he was upset.
Dominic’s had his share of lovers. My mouth twists into a scowl. There’s plenty of photos online documenting his romantic life over the years. As a future queen, I would welcome them, treat them as guests. But as a woman, the thought of them makes me angry.
No, I acknowledge grudgingly, furious.
When he inserted himself between Louis and me, when he wrapped his hand around mine and pulled me up against him, a dark part of me was thrilled. I’ve never been wanted like that. Even if it was simply carnal ego instead of genuine emotion, it was nice to feel that for a moment.
“Good evening, Princess.”
I yelp. “Dominic?” I whirl around, but there’s no one there. I start heading into my room. “Where are you?”
“On my balcony.”
I turn and walk back out onto mine. I move to the railing and crane my neck. The palace walls curve, but I can just glimpse the barest edge of his railing.
“How did you know I was out here?”
“I could hear your music playing. Plus, you strike me as the kind of woman to enjoy moonlit nights on her balcony.”
I can’t help but smile slightly. “You’re correct. I spend a lot of my free time out here. It’s peaceful.”
Silence falls between us, offset by the distant roar of the waves crashing down onto the beach below. But it’s not unpleasant. With the music playing and the water sparkling, it’s comforting. I don’t feel the need to fill the quiet with polite chatter or inane comments.
One of the things I like about Dominic, even if I’m still unsettled by our altercation in the ballroom, is how I can simply be.
A few more minutes pass before Dominic speaks. “I won’t apologize for being rude to Louis.”
I bite down on my lower lip. I should be chastising him, reminding him of royal protocol.
But it’s hard to do when I remember the shocked look on Louis’s face.
He reminded me of a goldfish I had as a child, his mouth wide open and his eyes huge.
After the way he abandoned me, it’s hard not to feel at a sliver of satisfaction.
“But,” Dominic adds, so quiet I can barely hear him over the music, “I will apologize if I embarrassed you.”
I blink rapidly. It shouldn’t strike me like this, but I can’t remember the last time someone apologized to me with such honesty.
“Thank you. I owe you an apology as well.”
“Oh?”
“You needn’t sound so smug about it.”
His gravelly chuckle drifts on the breeze. “Now I’m intrigued.”
“I should have pulled away when Louis touched me.”
There’s a beat of silence. “Why didn’t you?”
“Because people were watching.” I sigh. “People are always watching what I do now. Like you said back in Venice, I need to do better at standing up for myself, at saying no. I was afraid if I stepped away, it would cause a scene.”
“And then I came along and did exactly what you were trying to avoid.”
“Given what he said—”
“What did he say?”
A shiver creeps down my spine. The amusement is gone, replaced by frigid ice.
“It’s not that big of a deal—”
“Big enough for you to mention it. Now tell me what he said, or I will come and break down your door.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.”
I know he’s serious. And I know that’s exactly what he did on a regular basis in his work for the Rangers.
“He told me that letting me go was a mistake. That it wasn’t too late for us.”
Dominic is quiet. Too quiet.
“If you’re plotting how to kill him, you can stop right now.”
“You’ve gotten to know me very well, Princess.”
“Dominic—”
“I won’t kill him. Or maim him or blackmail him or harm him in any way.” He sighs. “I think I prefer the princess who snuck out of her hotel and infiltrated a masquerade. She would have at least allowed me to conduct some light torture.”
He’s teasing, but the words stab me right in the chest.
“So do I.”
“Sophaya—”
“No. It’s not what you said, Dominic. It’s just…
I’m not used to this. I had so much freedom before.
I used to want my parents to pay me more attention, to have more of an interest in my life, and now that everyone does, I feel so trapped.
” I let out a weak laugh. “I understand why you feel the way you do. Being under a microscope, having people dig into every element of your personal life. I’ll understand if you change your mind and decide you don’t want to be a part of this. ”
“That’s not going to happen.”
Sadness scrapes me. “But if it did—”
“It won’t.”
The finality and borderline anger in his voice has me pressing my lips together. But in that moment, I make a vow to myself. If Dominic ever tells me that this has become too much, I will let him go.
“I made a call tonight.”
“Oh?”
“Two-hundred and fifty million euros.”
I frown. “What?”
“That’s how much Louis’s father has tied up in investments in Siravelle over the next five years.”
The reminder is not a pleasant one. “I didn’t know an exact number.”
“That’s the same amount I deposited into an account tonight at Siravelle’s national bank. A dedicated sovereign development fund.”
My heart starts galloping wildly in my chest. “What?”
“Work with Louis’s dad if you want. But that money will be there, earning interest, for whatever you and Siravelle need.”
Emotion chokes me, renders me speechless for several long seconds. “Dominic…”
“I understand duty. Honor. And you were right. I haven’t thought of your role like that.” Amusement laces his voice. “Until you called me on my bullshit tonight.”
I choke out a laugh. “But all that money… I don’t know what to say.”
“I’ve been rich for a long time, Sophaya. I donate, but I don’t do anything intentional with my money beyond the Hawke Foundation.” He pauses. “I don’t have the same affinity for Siravelle you do. Not yet. But I like it. And I want to do this for you.”
I press my fist to my mouth. How am I supposed to stay strong, to keep him at arm’s length when he does and says things like this? “Thank you.”
Quiet falls. For a moment we exist, out of each other’s sight yet closer than we’ve ever been.
“You looked beautiful tonight.”
Oh Dominic. “Thank you.”
I think of him in his black tuxedo, the material tailored perfectly to his shoulders yet somehow still looking as if it’s just about to split because of the breadth of his insane muscles.
His thick hair combed back from his face yet those stubborn strands still falling across his broad forehead.
A wild beast allowing people to think he’d been tamed when really he was the one in charge all along.
“You looked very handsome.” I chuckle. “My mother thought my neckline was too low.”
“Too bad she didn’t see your dress from the masquerade.”
This time I laugh. “She would have had a heart attack. I saw it in the window of a designer near St. Mark’s Square, and when I couldn’t sleep—”
“What?”
I stop, bite down on my lip. “I was struggling to sleep. All the changes and pressure were already getting to me before the stalker started following me. And when I found that letter on my chair at the restaurant covered in shredded rose petals…” My chest clenches at the memory of it.
“That’s why I started taking that herbal supplement.
I was fine during the day. But at night I would… struggle.”
I can’t quite bring myself to tell him the full depths of my terror.
“I didn’t know.”
“It’s all right.”
“But it’s not.” His voice is firm. “Are you all right now?”
“I am. Tired and stressed,” I say in an attempt to lighten the mood. “But no more night terrors.”
When he doesn’t reply, I wonder if I’ve revealed too much. I’ve enjoyed our conversation tonight, grown relaxed and shared more than I had planned on. But did I cross a line?
And then he speaks.
“When I first saw you at the masquerade, it was like getting struck by lightning. I’d never seen your bare shoulders before, except in pictures. And I had certainly never seen your back.”
A different shiver ripples over my skin. “It’s not the kind of dress I’m usually encouraged to wear.”
“I can definitively say that one of the reasons why we’re standing in the places we are now is because you wore that dress.”
I reach out and grip the railing, curling my fingers around the marble to steady myself as my breathing quickens. “I felt…”
“What did you feel?” Dominic prompts, his voice even closer.
“Beautiful. Sexy.”
“You were sexy. Sitting next to you in the gondola was torture.”
“When I saw you standing in the middle of my room, I thought you looked like a phantom. Or a vampire.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Very. When I was showering, I touched myself wishing it was you.” Mortified, I look away. Did I just say that out loud? Did I seriously just tell him?
“You touched yourself?”
My embarrassment evaporates as he growls out the words.
“Yes.”
“Tell me.”
The words come out as an order. I want to say something witty, remind him of his refusal to take orders from me.
“I touched my breasts first.” My nipples harden into points as I remember standing beneath the steaming hot spray, my skin slick with water and my body already heated. “Imagined you stroking them, cupping them in your hands.” I breathe out. “I love your hands.”
“Do it now.”
I freeze. “What?”
“Sit down on the chaise lounge and touch yourself. Tell me what you’re doing.”
I swallow hard. “Only if you do.”
A beat of silence. Then a soft noise, the faint whisper of buttons being undone or the rasp of a zipper being pulled down.
“My hand is wrapped around my cock.”
Heat stabs straight down to my core. I slowly lower myself onto the chaise lounge and lean back. A gentle tug and my dress lowers enough to bare my breasts. Cool air kisses my skin as I repeat my actions of that night that feels like forever ago.
“I’m cupping my breasts.”
“I’m stroking myself. Long, slow strokes,” he adds wickedly.
My thighs clench together. I remember him waking me in the night, sliding into my body so slowly it nearly made me weep.
Emboldened, I reach down and grasp the fabric of my dress. A few tugs up leave my legs bare. My fingers drift down, graze the sensitive skin of my mound.
“I’m touching myself.”
He groans. “Are your panties still on?”
“I didn’t wear any.”
“Fuck.”
I almost ask him to come over then. To make love to me the way he did in Venice.
But fear stills the words on my tongue. He hasn’t said anything yet. And even though my body is tight with desire, there’s still a faint trace of humiliation on my tongue from when he pulled back in the elevator.
Dominic has far more control than I do. Other than pledging fidelity, we’ve never talked about what our intimate life will look like after we say I do.
So instead of potentially ruining the moment, of facing rejection yet again, I slide a finger inside myself and remember what it was like to take Dominic inside me.
“God, Sophaya.”
I savor the gravelly texture of his voice, close my eyes as I imagine him in front of me, pants undone and eyes burning as he strokes himself. My own movements quicken as the pressure builds. I find my release, cry out his name as pleasure shudders through me. His groan follows a moment later.
“Good night, Sophaya.”
“Good night, Dominic.”
I walk into my room and close the doors behind me. I move slowly as I take the record off the player, slip out of my dress and hang it up before moving into the shower. I’m physically sated.
But loneliness haunts my every step as I get ready for bed. With every move he makes, telling me he trusts me and making grand gestures like setting up the development fund, Dominic is drawing me in, pulling me closer even as he keeps me at arm’s length.
I slip under my sheets, turning my head to glance at the wall between his suite and mine. I’m coming dangerously close to falling in love with the father of my child. But he’ll only ever share pieces of himself.
Fatigue drags my eyes down. My last thought, before I drift off to sleep, is that if I am foolish enough to fall for Dominic, there will always be a part of me that’s alone.